Couples who dont fight.

I've been with my OH for 4 years and we've lived with each other for most of this time.

I am a firecracker and fly off the handle pretty easily but calm down pretty easily.

(So for example I may snap at the OH for leaving the dishes in the sink while he plays in the PS3 but within seconds I will apologise for snapping and ask him nicely to do the dishes - "when he has a minute")

My OH is a slow burner - he has to be incredibly pi55ed off about something to get angry. He is usualy very calm and patient so something really has to get to him...

On this basis we rarely argue. He'll pull me up about snapping and I encourage him to be more open if something is bugging him. He has made me more patient and I have taught him to express himself a bit more instead of bottling things up!

My X and I hardly ever fought... and I was just going through life in a blah state. I wasn't suppressing anything really - I just didn't care.

My husband and I fight - but not like outright screaming type of fighting... it's more like get pissed off and talk it out after or ya know, go through some sort of passive aggressive juvenile regression and then get over it and make up - it's not loud - but it's still a form of fighting, and later we laugh about it. Most two people just won't agree all the time and people, especially men vs women, are just significantly different.

It is normal for people to have disagreements. If not how else would you challenge yourself. This is not a perfect world and no one thinks the same on every issue. Sounds like your friend is lying to herself about her own issues.

I mostly challenge myself through my career and extra curricular activities. Through careful planning of goals and reflection on my successes and failures. I don't really feel that I need or want to be challenged by my husband! I prefer a mutually supportive relationship based on similar goals and ideals.

I like this.

I wanted a partner, not a Rubick's Cube. Life challenges me enough. My husband and I celebrate our victories, commiserate our sorrows, and support each other as we reach for our goals.

I don't know how it's possible to live with someone day in and day out and to blend two lives together and never argue or fight.

Of course, there are degrees, but I think if you never argue, someone isn't expressing his or her own opinions and needs somewhere. That isn't healthy.

Having issues does not have cause fighting about them. Good communication should help avoid fights.

I agree, my husband and I are both logical and understanding people. We discuss our opinions which may often not be the same but by the end of the (calm and rational) discussion usually we have reached a common ground. I think it is a big oversight for people to say that those who don't fight in a relationship are not expressing their own opinions.

My husband and I have been together for 9 1/2 yrs and married 1 1/2 years. We didnt have our first disagreement until we were together 11 months..I have no clue why I remember that lol..anyways, yes we disagree and then get over it..if it is something serious we have deep conversations, not arguments about it because that will only make the other person feel like they are wrong for feeling the way they feel. I honestly feel some arguments have brought us closer together!!

Me and my fiancé argue from time to time, but we've never really had a BIG fight. Like a going to bed mad fight. But we argue enough so that I feel like we're probably normal.

My folks were blissfully happy for nearly 60yrs until my mum passed away last year. They used to argue and bicker all the time - usually because my dad was always convinced he was right (and infuriatingly it was also true 99% of the time :laugh:)

The Hubster and I also bicker like a couple of old fools too and we too are blissfully happy and very much in love with each other.

We never fight... i.e. no screaming or shouting at each other , no throwing or smashing things.

We do have friends that never seem to bicker (although I'm sure they do in private), but most of our friends have healthy relationships where they can express opinions and have a debate without world war three breaking out :laugh:

We know a couple who don't fight but they are rude with each other and then don't talk to each other the rest of the day. It's weird.

You wouldn't class that as a fight? See, when I say we don't fight, I'm not saying we do any freaky stuff like that in it's place!!

Who cares if you fight or not!

As long as you are happy together, that is what matters. We cannot all handle situations or communicate in the same manner~there is no right or wrong!

I think if we went more than two days without fighting I would be worried. I'm not saying knock down drag out brawls, but little tiffs, bickering, and a rude comment now and then. I will admit I have poor communication skills but those little spats we have lets me express things to my husband much easier than some mushy conversation. I am just lucky he puts up with it and loves me anyway. I think after 2.5 years of being married he is getting used to it. It doesn't help that he is in the Army and out of 32 months of being married we have only lived with each other for 13 of them.

I think if you have been in a relationship for any length of time and have never seriously contemplated plans to have your partner taken out by a hit man you were never truly in love to begin with...

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I was recently having a conversation with a friend about a small fight my boyfriend and I had over the weekend. It was silly but necessary, we heard each other out, apologized and moved on.

She was alarmed-- "You've only been together a few months! You guys fight?!"

Yep. We do. Infrequently, and usually they're pretty short-lived but we definitely have arguments.

She proceeded to tell me "Well, me and Hubby never fight. I don't know what I'd do if we had arguments like that."



Really? Never? Are there couples that dont fight at least on occasion? To me that sounds like a red flag. Maybe because my previous relationship was spent, on my part, by walking on eggshells so we Nevermind fought either.

My relationship is the healthiest and happiest I've ever had-- I think arguing is good for us every now and then. Couples who never fight worry me.

I'm interested to know what you guys think.

You've gotten alot of mixed responses on here, which I think is really good. The more information, the better insight a person can get on a topic. I will say this however, there are many responses of couples who don't argue. My question is what do they consider the definition of argue? The reason I ask this is every couple disagree's and agrues, but that doesn't mean it has to be done in a screaming match. Just because it's not screaming at each other doesn't mean it wasn't a disagreement or that they didn't have to argue their point calmly to get their information across to the other person. I can tell you that the individual in which you had this discussion with is one of many who will say they never argue with their spouse, but truthfully, there's something to be said about that. You're right, IF in fact that's true then the two individuals are just walking on eggshell's around each other, appeasing each other and burying whatever is bothering them. One day, it will erupt. On the other hand I myself even know people who claim they don't argue, or have never had a disagreement. Those are the people that I would love to remind them that #1 they have neighbors, #2 I've walked away from the door without knocking when it was clear they were arguing and I had come at a bad time, and #3- they have children.....and their children talk. Unfortunately, those are the cases that I feel sorriest for because they feel that admiting that they disagree or have a heated arguement must mean that their marriage is not good, when in fact it's the exact opposite. Learning how to work together in a marriage means that sometimes we have to speak our part and that may not always result in a pleasant conversation. It's healthy to have a heated arguement sometimes because this is how we learn how to listen to each other and grow together. Plus making up afterward is always good. LOL. Don't let others tell you you're wrong or make you feel uncomfortable about having an arguement with your other half, it's perfectly normal. Besides, if you have siblings, do you remember what it was like to live in the same house as them for 18 years? Got on your nerves once in a while huh? lol, that's what happens when we decide to share a space with someone, every once in a while we are going to get on each others nerves. lol

I don't get this couples need to fight thing at all. I have had people in my life I argue with, and they have never lasted in my life for long. I am all for sarcasm and banter, but I simply don't do fighting. If a man shouted at me, he'd be out of my house 30 seconds later. I simply won't have that. Luckily my husband isn't a shouter. Amazingly we have managed to stay together for 16 years without ever having needed to fight or argue. We have things we disagree on, but we discuss them like sensible adults, not brawling children. That's not to say we don't get cross with each other, of course we do, but we avoid each other until we are calm enough to get our point across rather than screaming and stamping our feet.