Say your 15 yr old daughter requests Birth Control
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That was funny that you did that, but i dont agree with it. Through discussions people can change their minds. Politicians do it all the time!
I completely agree. But first she'd have to say that she changed her mind. She's sticking to her story that so long as she doesn't personally address the people she's talking about she's not insulting anyone. And that being shocked and dismayed at someone isn't passing judgment on them.
I wanted to know if I was the only one saddened by this whole discussion and shocked that so many people would be proud about this. Yes, it shocks me and saddens me.0 -
Am I the only one here shocked at how many people say they'd be "proud" of their 15 year old daughter asking for birth control because she was having sex? One person even said she felt she "would have done her job" if her daughter doesn't get pregnant before she graduates from high school. It just reminds me of the quote, "Your children will live down to your expectations".
No you are not the only one. Why not put great hopes and aspirations on your kids? Why not have them focus on something other than sex?
For the record I dont think that sex is dirty or nasty. I just think 15 year olds should be studying for their drivers tests and getting excited about being a freshman rather than getting it on with their boyfried of 2 months that they totally love with all their hearts!
Where I live you're not allowed to drive before you're 18 so I guess teens have nothing else to do! (but we do have a low teen pregnancy rate so maybe they're doing it wrong)0 -
That was funny that you did that, but i dont agree with it. Through discussions people can change their minds. Politicians do it all the time!
I completely agree. But first she'd have to say that she changed her mind. She's sticking to her story that so long as she doesn't personally address the people she's talking about she's not insulting anyone. And that being shocked and dismayed at someone isn't passing judgment on them.
I haven't really taken that post seriously because she's "shocked and dismayed" at something no one actually said. Nobody here said they'd be proud that their 15-year-old was planning to have sex.0 -
When it comes to sex, the more information she has, the better! There are a lot of misconceptions teenagers have about sex when they are getting their info from friends, tv, etc... I would make sure that she knew about all of her contraception options (there are quite a few besides the pill) and their pros/cons, the risk of STDs, how to protect oneself from said STDs, using condoms effectively, where to get reproductive health care should she need it, and most importantly that she knows she shouldn't do anything she doesn't want to do and shouldn't feel pressured to do anything she is uncomfortable with. Maybe get her a book about sexual health for teens if you aren't comfortable having these conversations directly?0
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I'm confused, Brett. Where did I pretend to say something I didn't? Find me a comment in here where I called someone a bad parent or insulted someone for their choice in this discussion. I'm explaining my position and having to defend it to some who think it's bad parenting. I'm also expressing shock that I'm in the minority.
You never said "you're a bad parent." But if you can look at the second quote of yours that I posted (seriously I can't keep up with all the quote /quote to post is again) and not think you're passing judgment on those who give their kids birth control, JUST as they have judged you for not giving it to your kids..well I don't know what to tell you.
It's ok. Hell it's normal! You feel differently about the subject. No reason you shouldn't have trouble comprehending why someone would choose what they have. Just don't pretend you never said a single bad thing to anyone who felt differently than you. You quoted people and expressed your shock and dismay at choices they've made for their own children. That's fine, we've ALL been doing it. Just stop pretending you're above it all.0 -
If I had a teenage daughter come to me requesting birth control I would have a serious discussion about sex and what comes with it. And then if she wanted I would go to the Dr with her. I'd also stress the importance of condoms. I'd give her whatever knowledge I could to make the decision I want her to but since she is her own person I know the decision will be hers, and if she does it, I want her being responsible about it. Being on birth control at 15 is far better than pregnant at 15 in my opinion.
Will I hope she doesn't do it? Yes. Did any of my girl friends growing up wait till they were older? Yes - ONE - exactly one out of all my girlfriends in HS and I had plenty of friends. So I know the reality. Did their parents know they were doing it? Absolutely not, not their little angels. - except the ones that got pregnant of course.0 -
I'm confused, Brett. Where did I pretend to say something I didn't? Find me a comment in here where I called someone a bad parent or insulted someone for their choice in this discussion. I'm explaining my position and having to defend it to some who think it's bad parenting. I'm also expressing shock that I'm in the minority.
You never said "you're a bad parent." But if you can look at the second quote of yours that I posted (seriously I can't keep up with all the quote /quote to post is again) and not think you're passing judgment on those who give their kids birth control, JUST as they have judged you for not giving it to your kids..well I don't know what to tell you.
It's ok. Hell it's normal! You feel differently about the subject. No reason you shouldn't have trouble comprehending why someone would choose what they have. Just don't pretend you never said a single bad thing to anyone who felt differently than you. You quoted people and expressed your shock and dismay at choices they've made for their own children. That's fine, we've ALL been doing it. Just stop pretending you're above it all.
When I made that comment to the person about personally insulting each other it was because of a direct insult to me and my family. That is quite different than my expressing shock at some of the comments. I am also shocked and dismayed at many things in society, but I don't "judge" people who make different choices than I. When I use the word "judge", I mean it from the position of God being our only real judge. If my saying that I'm shocked that people would shop lift in front of their children is "judgement" in your book, then I suppose I'm guilty of that.
Someone posted an interesting question on my wall regarding this thread (should be a whole other topic, I suppose), but her question was: If your teenager came to you and asked you to be their designated driver so they could drink responsibly, would you? If your child asked you to buy him/her clean needles so they wouldn't get a disease when they shot up, would you? I found those to be interesting questions.0 -
Interesting story:
Shortly after I got out of high school, I got involved with a group that consisted of mostly girls, but some guys, who had children in middle and high school. The purpose was to go to schools in the area and talk about the realities of being a teen parent to hopefully discourage others from having it happen to them.
We had to beg and plead to be allowed to present at the high school I attended and after we left were told they didn't want us back because it wasn't necessary since they didn't have that problem there.
Denial is powerful.0 -
Uhhhh . . . . I have a 15yo daughter. I'm going to get a drink now.0
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Well this thread just made me NOT want a daughter.0
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As a person who seems to always be dead in the middle between conservative and liberal ideals, I'll just appeal to my logic*.
By denying, or pretending something doesn't happen or exist in the life of a child, we are doing a disservice to them. Our children are the most harmed by our patronizing, and assuming we can always keep the wool over their eyes. Do the opposite of this, and keep in communication and education with them--and you stand a much better chance of them turning out A-ok.
Beyond that--we can't seriously expect to go the same route that our parents did for us, with our kids. Hell I'm 26 years old and the world of kids since ME has changed drastically. New generation, new game plan folks. If you choose to provide her with birth control, better not just throw it at her. She better be as educated as you on the subject, and if you don't know a lot about this whole thing--you had better learn too!0 -
When I made that comment to the person about personally insulting each other it was because of a direct insult to me and my family. That is quite different than my expressing shock at some of the comments. I am also shocked and dismayed at many things in society, but I don't "judge" people who make different choices than I. When I use the word "judge", I mean it from the position of God being our only real judge. If my saying that I'm shocked that people would shop lift in front of their children is "judgement" in your book, then I suppose I'm guilty of that.
Someone posted an interesting question on my wall regarding this thread (should be a whole other topic, I suppose), but her question was: If your teenager came to you and asked you to be their designated driver so they could drink responsibly, would you? If your child asked you to buy him/her clean needles so they wouldn't get a disease when they shot up, would you? I found those to be interesting questions.
Well this IS what we have a debate group for...
DEBATABLE DEBATING! JOIN NOW AND ARGUE WITH STRANGERS WHEN YOU KNOW YOU SHOULD BE WORKING!!
Sorry.. I love giving plugs!0 -
I'm confused, Brett. Where did I pretend to say something I didn't? Find me a comment in here where I called someone a bad parent or insulted someone for their choice in this discussion. I'm explaining my position and having to defend it to some who think it's bad parenting. I'm also expressing shock that I'm in the minority.
You never said "you're a bad parent." But if you can look at the second quote of yours that I posted (seriously I can't keep up with all the quote /quote to post is again) and not think you're passing judgment on those who give their kids birth control, JUST as they have judged you for not giving it to your kids..well I don't know what to tell you.
It's ok. Hell it's normal! You feel differently about the subject. No reason you shouldn't have trouble comprehending why someone would choose what they have. Just don't pretend you never said a single bad thing to anyone who felt differently than you. You quoted people and expressed your shock and dismay at choices they've made for their own children. That's fine, we've ALL been doing it. Just stop pretending you're above it all.
When I made that comment to the person about personally insulting each other it was because of a direct insult to me and my family. That is quite different than my expressing shock at some of the comments. I am also shocked and dismayed at many things in society, but I don't "judge" people who make different choices than I. When I use the word "judge", I mean it from the position of God being our only real judge. If my saying that I'm shocked that people would shop lift in front of their children is "judgement" in your book, then I suppose I'm guilty of that.
Someone posted an interesting question on my wall regarding this thread (should be a whole other topic, I suppose), but her question was: If your teenager came to you and asked you to be their designated driver so they could drink responsibly, would you? If your child asked you to buy him/her clean needles so they wouldn't get a disease when they shot up, would you? I found those to be interesting questions.
If my kid was doing heroin, she would be sent to rehab.
I would not be a DD. However, I have had the discussion about drinking and driving. I would get up in the middle of the night and get her if I had to -- whether she was drinking or her ride was drinking. Because once she's IN the situation, I would have to deal with it to possibly save her life.
Thankfully, I got her to 17 years old and her senior year without having to actually do any of these things.0 -
I'm confused, Brett. Where did I pretend to say something I didn't? Find me a comment in here where I called someone a bad parent or insulted someone for their choice in this discussion. I'm explaining my position and having to defend it to some who think it's bad parenting. I'm also expressing shock that I'm in the minority.
You never said "you're a bad parent." But if you can look at the second quote of yours that I posted (seriously I can't keep up with all the quote /quote to post is again) and not think you're passing judgment on those who give their kids birth control, JUST as they have judged you for not giving it to your kids..well I don't know what to tell you.
It's ok. Hell it's normal! You feel differently about the subject. No reason you shouldn't have trouble comprehending why someone would choose what they have. Just don't pretend you never said a single bad thing to anyone who felt differently than you. You quoted people and expressed your shock and dismay at choices they've made for their own children. That's fine, we've ALL been doing it. Just stop pretending you're above it all.
When I made that comment to the person about personally insulting each other it was because of a direct insult to me and my family. That is quite different than my expressing shock at some of the comments. I am also shocked and dismayed at many things in society, but I don't "judge" people who make different choices than I. When I use the word "judge", I mean it from the position of God being our only real judge. If my saying that I'm shocked that people would shop lift in front of their children is "judgement" in your book, then I suppose I'm guilty of that.
Someone posted an interesting question on my wall regarding this thread (should be a whole other topic, I suppose), but her question was: If your teenager came to you and asked you to be their designated driver so they could drink responsibly, would you? If your child asked you to buy him/her clean needles so they wouldn't get a disease when they shot up, would you? I found those to be interesting questions.
It's my turn to be "shocked and dismayed". In my books, sex shouldn't be compared to drinking and driving or taking hard drugs.0 -
So, I think the real question is not whether you would be the DD, but would you help your child if he or she found himself or herself in immediate need of that help.
That's a better analogy.0 -
When I made that comment to the person about personally insulting each other it was because of a direct insult to me and my family. That is quite different than my expressing shock at some of the comments. I am also shocked and dismayed at many things in society, but I don't "judge" people who make different choices than I. When I use the word "judge", I mean it from the position of God being our only real judge. If my saying that I'm shocked that people would shop lift in front of their children is "judgement" in your book, then I suppose I'm guilty of that.
Someone posted an interesting question on my wall regarding this thread (should be a whole other topic, I suppose), but her question was: If your teenager came to you and asked you to be their designated driver so they could drink responsibly, would you? If your child asked you to buy him/her clean needles so they wouldn't get a disease when they shot up, would you? I found those to be interesting questions.
Well this IS what we have a debate group for...
DEBATABLE DEBATING! JOIN NOW AND ARGUE WITH STRANGERS WHEN YOU KNOW YOU SHOULD BE WORKING!!
Sorry.. I love giving plugs!
Noooooes, I need my life back! I need get changed and work out!!!0 -
\Uhhhh . . . . I have a 15yo daughter. I'm going to get a drink now.
I'm sure I made my Dad drink plenty! God bless Dads with daughters... bottoms up!0 -
Interesting story:
Shortly after I got out of high school, I got involved with a group that consisted of mostly girls, but some guys, who had children in middle and high school. The purpose was to go to schools in the area and talk about the realities of being a teen parent to hopefully discourage others from having it happen to them.
We had to beg and plead to be allowed to present at the high school I attended and after we left were told they didn't want us back because it wasn't necessary since they didn't have that problem there.
Denial is powerful.
Many years ago I was involved at a high level in the local chapter of a larger national organization. A fellow board member was the past principle, and now school district superintendent. He had been the principal of a middle school that had the highest teenage pregnancy rate in the nation. You caught 'Middle School', right?! This was about 1984-ish. I was relatively young at the time and felt fortunate to be in such a postion at that charity, and had no kids. I never did quiz him on what the heck was going on, but given that chance again (with more age/wisdom on my side) I'd jump at the opportunity. I always wondered what he was thinking when he left our meetings.0 -
When I made that comment to the person about personally insulting each other it was because of a direct insult to me and my family. That is quite different than my expressing shock at some of the comments. I am also shocked and dismayed at many things in society, but I don't "judge" people who make different choices than I. When I use the word "judge", I mean it from the position of God being our only real judge. If my saying that I'm shocked that people would shop lift in front of their children is "judgement" in your book, then I suppose I'm guilty of that.
Someone posted an interesting question on my wall regarding this thread (should be a whole other topic, I suppose), but her question was: If your teenager came to you and asked you to be their designated driver so they could drink responsibly, would you? If your child asked you to buy him/her clean needles so they wouldn't get a disease when they shot up, would you? I found those to be interesting questions.
Well this IS what we have a debate group for...
DEBATABLE DEBATING! JOIN NOW AND ARGUE WITH STRANGERS WHEN YOU KNOW YOU SHOULD BE WORKING!!
Sorry.. I love giving plugs!
I've never been invited!0 -
So, I think the real question is not whether you would be the DD, but would you help your child if he or she found himself or herself in immediate need of that help.
That's a better analogy.
If my child was drunk and called me for help, I would be there in a heartbeat. I would never be his/her DD. If my daughter came to me because she was pregnant, I would help her in a heartbeat. I would not provide her with BC.0
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