Confused about a GUY!

It's quite harsh to simplify a gender in such a way as saying we are not complicated. However going that route, here you go. Throw away your self-help books. Throw away psycho analysis:

Demand to be treated as you deserve. If he doesn't adhere--well they aren't for you. That goes for any personal relationship.

Thanks I agree. I'm sure I know how he will react to that so I can go ahead and say...we will end up being just friends. Which is fine. JUST STOP THE SILLY MIND GAMES WITH ME.

The other trick is to give this a considerable block of time. As in NOT talk/see him!

A month for the shock value.
A second for him to react and "win" you back, gain information on the guy.
A third for him to get used to you not being around.
A fourth for you two to be "normal".
A fifth for him to think you're his equal. (He IS playing games!)
A sixth for him to pine over you.
A seventh for him to kick himself.

I personally would wait a full year for him to become an adult human being.

This is where the problem comes in for me. I do want to be his friend. I don't want him completely out of my life and he is a nice guy/friend. Other than head games with females.

Better yet! Actually meet somebody!

The real trick is to not answer his calls or texts, smile and be happy when you see him, always be busy, and mention another guy in passing when you do run into him.

"Jake said..." should do it.

His imagination will fill in the rest.

Lol. I love it. I am not looking for a relationship at the moment but if it happens it happens. So, I won't actually go out and find someone but that's good advice to make his mind wonder and see how he reacts to it. Thanks.

You are not lying!

He needs to see that other men are attracted to you! That will make him want you because other men want you, want you because he "can't have you", or at least treat you like a Real Person! (not playing games).

Interesting how I'm telling you to play games to teach him to stop playing games!

Well, it works! LOL

Lol My games would be different. To teach him a lesson. Not to get in his pants and screw him over if another man comes along. So, it's okay. lol

Pretend that you're not you and read your post. Better yet, pretend your daughter wrote it.

Would you advise her to continue this "relationship"? No, you wouldn't.

A man that wants to be with you will say so and act accordingly. A man who wants a warm place to put his.... "hands" will play games with you, act affectionate, stay over, and the tell you he doesn't want a relationship is just being honest. You're his Plan B until the girl he wants comes along.

Unless you are one of the minority of females that can also honestly work the Plan B strategy, you need to cut your losses. If he is really a friend, hang out in social situations but hanging out alone together will just keep you on the hook. When you're on the hook your eyes aren't open to find a guy that will give you what you're looking for.

There's no use playing games by cutting off communication with him for some random amount of time. Be a grown-up, draw your boundaries, and proceed from there. If he's really your friend you will see him socially. If you're is Plan B then you probably won't hear from him much. If he wants to be with you he will make the effort.

I agree with what you're saying, also. I don't like the games he plays at all. I don't see it as all games though. I am part of the situation I'm in..its 50/50 and I understand that. Everyone keeps telling me to let him go so I can find a man who will give me what I want but I do not want a man. I am perfectly content being FWB with this guy. I just want him to stop saying and doing certain things if he doesn't mean them and was posting this question just wondering if they meant anything other than..nothing. I've learned that they don't mean anything other than wanting "booty".

I will continue being friends with him and not worry about a "future" with him. And, I actually talk to other guys as friends but nothing else happens with them. I have 2 guys that want to date me right now but I push them away cause I'm not ready to be settled down.

I said earlier that if I had the chance to be with this guy I keep mentioning, I don't know if I would. I just want to make sure that he isn't just saying sweet things and not being completely honest with me. Apparently, he is being hoenst when he says what he says as far as not liking me more than a friend. Being sweet, maybe that's just his personality? I don't know. I'm still learning. But, I have gotten my answer from everyone on here.

I now know what he is doing is wrong. He doesn't like me more than a friend. But, I can't complain cause I contact him first too sometimes and want to see him first, also. It's not just him.

I just wanted to know if what he does or says means anything more that what he's leading me on to believe.

Honestly, I don't think you're being truthful when you say you don't want to be in a relationship. You do...but with him only (just my opinion)
I would suggest cold turkery cuz he's not the one and it's going to hold you back and you've already wasted too much time!

I respect your opinion but in all honesty. I don't want a boyfriend. I do miss the affection that comes with a relationship but that's it. I am not in a place at the moment in my life to be with a man. I don't like answering to someone. I like hanging out with my friends, going out, etc without "making sure it's okay" first or having to 'check in".

I was cheated on after 8 years and he had a baby with her. I've been divorced for 6 months. Trust me, I'm not ready. I like him, yes, but, don't want to be with him more than what we are now. Was just making sure what he does and says didn't mean anymore than what he actually does and says.

Try to see how long you can go without seeing him (I dunno, a FEW MONTHS) until he contacts you. Keep blowing him off. Make your life seem more important because it is. If communication stops completely on his end, you have an answer. Women, If you let men use you, they will. That's the bottom line. Oh, and I've been there and I've learned the hard way. I'm in my thirty's and I know how they think... I'm a manxpert.

Manxpert. lol Funny.

It only took 2 weeks until this guy was calling and asking me to STAY ALL NIGHT which he didn't do before. I blew him off a few times when in reality I was just going home for the night doing NOTHING. But, I made him think I was busy and couldn't see him for a few hours to just hang out if nothing else. Took 2 weeks and bam..he was calling and wanting me to sleep over.

It is my personal opinion that you are a treasured gift. If he can't see the value of the beauty and character right in front of him then he has no right to the access of your heart. You deserve the blessing of a man who knows your true value. He is out there for you. Just know you're a wonderfully designed creation that cries out to be loved the way you deserve and the way you were designed. Someone cared enough to create you and thought you were important enough to give purpose to you that there must be meaning to your life and someone finding value in that.:flowerforyou:

Thank you That's sweet. I appreciate it.

This reminds me of when I had my husband literally chase me all over town!

We were dating, and he was late. I was with a group of family and friends during the holidays. There was another party to go to and we left!

Babe (I call him Babe) saunters in, and the party has left! My step mom gives him the address for him to catch up with us.

By the time he gets to the address, the party had moved to a third party!! Once again, he wrote down an address!

He finally caught up to us, but there is another something you can do!

It wasn't on purpose, it was just one of those things! This was before GPS and cell phones!

Haha Men are funny. Some people don't like the idea of "playing games" with him to see what he is really after.

I don't mean to make people mad or anything and I am sincere about my questions and need advice but I also have to remind everyone that I'm 25, been divorced so 6 months after 8 years, being cheated on and him having a baby with her. Now he's living in her home state. Yeah, I'm not ready for a full blown relationship. I've been there, done that. I want to have fun before I settle down. Just making sure this guy isn't just "holding back".