did you just say i was pregnant EXSUSE YOU?

lucysposaro
lucysposaro Posts: 132 Member
edited October 6 in Health and Weight Loss
Has anyone ever turned around to you and asked how many weeks pregnant you were and u you were not even pregnant just a bit over weight? This has happened to me about 4 times this year its so rude of people to randomley ask you how many weeks pregnant you are wen your not even pregnant? Like dont you think maybe its just fat? what have been your come backs in regards to this or am i the only one
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Replies

  • zlem
    zlem Posts: 92
    I kinda had the opposite, was pregnant and a lot of people were surprised when I had the baby, hid it well under all the fat lol -_-

    but yeah it is a bit rude, I was talking to a lady yesterday who looked pregnant and I was gonna ask her when she's due but thought I'd best not just incase she wasn't!
  • unsuspectingfish
    unsuspectingfish Posts: 1,176 Member
    Even if you were pregnant, it's still rude. I don't see how it's any random stranger's business.
  • BobbyClerici
    BobbyClerici Posts: 813 Member
    Hey, it's even worse when they say it...

    AND YOU'RE A MAN!
    At least with you it might have been innocent.
    With me?
    PURE RIDICULE!

    But that's what got me off my rear and into the gym - lost 64 lbs - no longer pregnant...lol
  • TeeferTiger
    TeeferTiger Posts: 136 Member
    I've had someone ask me when I was slim!!
  • musicaljessica
    musicaljessica Posts: 105
    YES!!

    At work earlier this year the manager started giving me weird looks all day....and then she patted my belly and asked how far along I was!! I was mortified!
  • adlwilmot
    adlwilmot Posts: 117
    It's called being polite, taking a interest in someone, being friendly... As long as they're not asking you how many weeks pregnant you are, when they know damn well you're NOT preganant, and just want to upset you by saying in a roundabout way that you're FAT, I don't see the issue. If they ARE being genuine, then what does that tell you? And if you don't recognise this problem yourself, then why are you on MFP?

    My comeback would be "I'm not pregnant with a baby, I'm just storing fat for World War III. But let's be optimistic, that isn't going to happen, so thanks for pointing out that my fat stores hopefully won't be required. I'll do something about getting rid of them"

    Very few people would say something to purposefully hurt you. They either genuinely think you're pregnant, or are too stupid to contemplate the fact it might be fat and not a baby, and engage their mouth before their brain.

    Think about it, if you weren't "fat" they wouldn't be saying it. So who's the one with the problem? One they're actively looking to sort out? I've just shifted my "4 month bump" :-)
  • lucysposaro
    lucysposaro Posts: 132 Member
    I got asked by a male jhow many weeks along i was and then i turned around said i had a baby 3 years ago....i was like so angry and upset at the same time.I also had a lady come up to me and ask as well so rude
  • sjtreely
    sjtreely Posts: 1,014 Member
    It's called being polite, taking a interest in someone, being friendly... As long as they're not asking you how many weeks pregnant you are, when they know damn well you're NOT preganant, and just want to upset you by saying in a roundabout way that you're FAT, I don't see the issue. If they ARE being genuine, then what does that tell you? And if you don't recognise this problem yourself, then why are you on MFP?

    My comeback would be "I'm not pregnant with a baby, I'm just storing fat for World War III. But let's be optimistic, that isn't going to happen, so thanks for pointing out that my fat stores hopefully won't be required. I'll do something about getting rid of them"

    Very few people would say something to purposefully hurt you. They either genuinely think you're pregnant, or are too stupid to contemplate the fact it might be fat and not a baby, and engage their mouth before their brain.

    Think about it, if you weren't "fat" they wouldn't be saying it. So who's the one with the problem? One they're actively looking to sort out? I've just shifted my "4 month bump" :-)

    If they were being polite and taking an interest in you, why would your come back be so sarcastic? I would rather suspect if you felt they were genuinely interested in your welfare you'd say something like, "I don't mean to make you feel uncomfortable, but actually, I'm not pregnant. I'm aware of my weight issue and I'm working on it." Where as your comment rude to someone who was interested/excited about your situation.

    So, the one with the problem is the one who makes comments about the size of others.
  • Lindz2323
    Lindz2323 Posts: 261 Member
    a few years ago i went shopping one night with my brother. Outside the store in the parking lot as we were leaving some guy probably in his 50's was standing by his truck (next to our car) with his labrador. The lab was very friendly and came right up to me and jumped to put his paws on my stomach. I thought it was cute he was being playful. The guy instantly yelled at the dog and said "No No!!! Down!! She's pregnant, you dont wanna hurt the baby!!!" I felt so upset/angry instantly.. My bother was right there and gave the guy a weird look and we just left.. In the car my bro said "did he actually just say that to you??" I said "yep, and all i thought i had was FAT! Who knew i was having a baby too!" Tried to joke about it to make myself feel better but it really bothered me. My bro thought the guy was rude as well.. One of the most crappy awkward moments ive ever had.
  • jiggs31
    jiggs31 Posts: 117
    I had that in Italy once (we'd been walking around all day and I was dying for the loo and was swelling up coz of it)

    A lovely older lady patted my belly and happily said 'bambino?'

    I said 'no - I'm bursting for a wee!!!'

    She thought it was hilarious when I came back out of the ladies and my 'bump' had disappeared!!! :)
  • unsuspectingfish
    unsuspectingfish Posts: 1,176 Member
    It's called being polite, taking a interest in someone, being friendly... As long as they're not asking you how many weeks pregnant you are, when they know damn well you're NOT preganant, and just want to upset you by saying in a roundabout way that you're FAT, I don't see the issue. If they ARE being genuine, then what does that tell you? And if you don't recognise this problem yourself, then why are you on MFP?

    My comeback would be "I'm not pregnant with a baby, I'm just storing fat for World War III. But let's be optimistic, that isn't going to happen, so thanks for pointing out that my fat stores hopefully won't be required. I'll do something about getting rid of them"

    Very few people would say something to purposefully hurt you. They either genuinely think you're pregnant, or are too stupid to contemplate the fact it might be fat and not a baby, and engage their mouth before their brain.

    Think about it, if you weren't "fat" they wouldn't be saying it. So who's the one with the problem? One they're actively looking to sort out? I've just shifted my "4 month bump" :-)

    It'd still be none of their business if I was pregnant. And fat =/= a problem. Unhealthy is a problem (for you and you alone), but fat doesn't automatically = unhealthy.
  • SueGremlin
    SueGremlin Posts: 1,066 Member
    It's called being polite, taking a interest in someone, being friendly...
    It is not polite to ask someone about what is going on in their uterus. Ever. To quote the great Dave Barry, "Never ask a woman if she is pregnant unless you see an actual baby emerging from her".
  • ChrissyLu723
    ChrissyLu723 Posts: 153 Member
    This was many years ago, but we were at my Grandfather's wake and my Aunt came up to me and patted my belly and said when is this one due? I said I'm not pregnant...she said oh well you look like you are. Bothered the crap out of me.
  • Kathy_Noring
    Kathy_Noring Posts: 143 Member
    Definitely not polite; definitely rude, rude, RUDE. It is just hurtful to someone who isn't. You don't even have to be "fat" or have any kind of weight issue to have someone ask you that. I once had a woman ask me that when I was younger and had a perfectly flat stomach. When I looked at her perplexed, she said, "Oh I wondered because you are busty." Yeah, she was just being polite. Barf.

    I agree with the Dave Berry comment the previous poster shared.

    I am sorry someone hurt your feelings like that. Been there.
  • debswebby
    debswebby Posts: 326
    A stranger asked me once if I was pregnant. I was sat in the launderette in the only clothes I had left that didn't need washing. She looked so pleased for me that I played along. I told her that I was and we had a lovely conversation about whether it would be a boy or a girl. My husband had to carry the heavy bags as well because, I was, after all, in no fit state :wink:

    She wasn't asking me to be nasty, she was genuinely pleased that I could be. What was the point of upsetting her and myself by saying "no I'm just fat".

    If someone asked me and was being nasty I would just tell them to *kitten* off :laugh:
  • vim_n_vigor
    vim_n_vigor Posts: 4,089 Member
    a few years ago i went shopping one night with my brother. Outside the store in the parking lot as we were leaving some guy probably in his 50's was standing by his truck (next to our car) with his labrador. The lab was very friendly and came right up to me and jumped to put his paws on my stomach. I thought it was cute he was being playful. The guy instantly yelled at the dog and said "No No!!! Down!! She's pregnant, you dont wanna hurt the baby!!!" I felt so upset/angry instantly.. My bother was right there and gave the guy a weird look and we just left.. In the car my bro said "did he actually just say that to you??" I said "yep, and all i thought i had was FAT! Who knew i was having a baby too!" Tried to joke about it to make myself feel better but it really bothered me. My bro thought the guy was rude as well.. One of the most crappy awkward moments ive ever had.

    Why was that rude of him? He didn't want his dog to harm a pregnant woman. Do you think he really wanted to say get down off of that overweight woman? He was showing concern. I have been on the receiving end of the how far along are you and when are you due questions. The people asking weren't being rude, they were excited. It was my problem that I let myself get to the point that I looked pregnant, not theirs.
  • amber_bamber09
    amber_bamber09 Posts: 35 Member
    I think this is a touchy subject. I would never ask that question unless I had been told by the person or had a few hints from them in general conversation. I have been asked this myself. The worst one I've had so far was a customer at my shop asked me if I was my younger sisters mother. I'm only 16 months older than her. My mother is 44...I'm 20. I can't wait to get this weight off so people stop making such rude comments. I try to turn it into extra motivation but sometimes emotion sets in and you just can't help but be upset by it.
  • MrsMuffinRun
    MrsMuffinRun Posts: 93
    lol yes it has happened to me this year. To be fair it was a case of mistaken identity because another mum in my child's class was pregnant, though I obviously did have that look about me. Worst of it was, the woman who offered congratulations spotted me from a distance and kind of run towards me with the big smile and open arms. I flippin knew what she was going to say before she got there lol.
  • mrmanmeat
    mrmanmeat Posts: 1,968 Member
    Has anyone ever turned around to you and asked how many weeks pregnant you were and u you were not even pregnant just a bit over weight? This has happened to me about 4 times this year its so rude of people to randomley ask you how many weeks pregnant you are wen your not even pregnant? Like dont you think maybe its just fat? what have been your come backs in regards to this or am i the only one

    Well.... maybe that should tell you something...? Yes, I said it.


    Generally people are happy & excited about babies, so they're trying to share the enthusiasm that you'd have if you were.
  • betzeross
    betzeross Posts: 161 Member
    It's happened to me many years ago and in my opinion there's nothing worse than someone thinking you're pregnant when you're not. Humiliating.
  • gargoyle999
    gargoyle999 Posts: 117 Member
    2 questions I'll never ask a woman. How old are you and when are you due!
  • MrsMuffinRun
    MrsMuffinRun Posts: 93
    Oh and the poster isn't "fat" as someone else mentioned in their reply. Like lots of us who have babies she's probably found it harder to shift weight from that middle area, which let's face it get's somewhat stretched and those of us who have had c-sections are left with a more difficult area to shift. I am only about a stone over what I want to be, and my BMI is well within the healthy range but I still look preggy on a bad day. To be honest, even if I lose that last stone, I reckon it will still be debatable on days when I am a bit bloated.
  • GorillaNJ
    GorillaNJ Posts: 4,024 Member
    I had seen a co-worker once ask a woman when her baby was due.. and the girl looked her in the eye and said she was not pregnant... I do not know who actually felt worse... the girl who asked or the girl who was not pregnant!

    So I learned never to ask.... but it does present itself as a tricky matter on the Subway. I will always give up my seat to a person who is disabled (Cane, noticeable limp, missing leg...etc) or pregnant women. Some times it is a close call, see a girl in her 20's with a little bump... I don't want to give up my seat just because she is pudgy and had a big lunch today!
  • tuneses
    tuneses Posts: 467 Member
    I don't say anything even if the woman is painfully obviously pregnant. When I was in high school my teacher couldn't have kids and desperately wanted one. She was asked by a stranger how far along she was one day. I never seen a woman look so crushed. She was actually crying in class. That's when I decided that if pregnant woman want to talk about their pregnancy they can bring it up.
  • xginanax
    xginanax Posts: 333 Member
    It's called being polite, taking a interest in someone, being friendly... As long as they're not asking you how many weeks pregnant you are, when they know damn well you're NOT preganant, and just want to upset you by saying in a roundabout way that you're FAT, I don't see the issue. If they ARE being genuine, then what does that tell you? And if you don't recognise this problem yourself, then why are you on MFP?

    My comeback would be "I'm not pregnant with a baby, I'm just storing fat for World War III. But let's be optimistic, that isn't going to happen, so thanks for pointing out that my fat stores hopefully won't be required. I'll do something about getting rid of them"

    Very few people would say something to purposefully hurt you. They either genuinely think you're pregnant, or are too stupid to contemplate the fact it might be fat and not a baby, and engage their mouth before their brain.

    Think about it, if you weren't "fat" they wouldn't be saying it. So who's the one with the problem? One they're actively looking to sort out? I've just shifted my "4 month bump" :-)


    THANK U !! I Was about to say the exact same thing! :)
  • Kathy_Noring
    Kathy_Noring Posts: 143 Member
    Well.... maybe that should tell you something...? Yes, I said it.


    Generally people are happy & excited about babies, so they're trying to share the enthusiasm that you'd have if you were.

    Really? Because in my experience people who say that are being busy-body jerks. How is it acceptable to go up to a woman and ask that? Is it also acceptable to go up to a woman and say, "Jesus, you are FAT!"? Argh.
  • lizgreenhill
    lizgreenhill Posts: 185
    yea that actually happended to me a few times last year i gained 60lbs in a year and everyone assumed i was pregnant i was super upset that people would be rude enough to even ask. the time i was acutally pregnant ( i was 115lbs when i first got pregnant) and i gained 30lbs in a couple months and a few people thought i was fat because i gained so much weight so quickly i heard a lot of rude comments about that
  • BrandyontheRun
    BrandyontheRun Posts: 204 Member
    While I was volunteering a couple years ago with 7th and 8th grade youth, one of them asked me if I was pregnant... Right in front of the other volunteers!! I was so embarrased..!! and she was just a kid really, so she didn't mean anything by it but omgosh...!
  • julietsingleton
    julietsingleton Posts: 126 Member
    I had my mother in law ask "when's it due?" when she knew full well i could not be pregnant because my husband has had "the snip"! I was so angry with her because when i lost 3 stone, she didn't say a word, but when i had put a little bit back on, she felt the need to be a COW!
  • vim_n_vigor
    vim_n_vigor Posts: 4,089 Member
    I had my mother in law ask "when's it due?" when she knew full well i could not be pregnant because my husband has had "the snip"! I was so angry with her because when i lost 3 stone, she didn't say a word, but when i had put a little bit back on, she felt the need to be a COW!

    You could actually get pregnant after that. I have a cousin whose mom's tubes were tied and daddy was snipped. It can still happen.
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