did you just say i was pregnant EXSUSE YOU?

My wife did that to a girl at a high school reunion once, she felt horrible about saying it. In her defense though, the style of shirt the former classmate was wearing looked like a maternity shirt and really was the inspiration for the question. Is there any chance you were wearing the same shirt, or style of shirt each time you were asked this question?

I'm sorry you had to experience this - I've been there.

In my instance I was with a then boyfriend at a restaurant & the waitress was clearly flirting with him - that doesn't typically bother me and maybe she could sense her playfullness had no effect on me so she dug a little deeper ... shifted her attention to me & asked how far along I was.

Before I could even respond the then boyfriend had blurted out... "Oh, she's not pregnant, that's just how she looks."

My guess is that the ending to this story is pretty obvious.

He had it done about 6 years ago! I would have thought it would have happened by now if it was going to!

Even if you were pregnant, it's still rude. I don't see how it's any random stranger's business.

^This. It's like people lose brain matter when they see a pregnant woman (or a woman they think is pregnant). Nut jobs come out of the woodworks and rub your belly like you're Buddha, etc. I even had one woman randomly ask if I would LIFT MY SHIRT for her to see my belly. wtf really?

Kind of goes along the lines with people saying, "So when are you guys gonna have a baby?" or "When are you going to have another?" You NEVER know if someone is TTC and can't.

I knew I had to do something when I went to work ( I work at a daycare) and one of the children asked me if I had a baby in my tummy : /

I don't think it's rude. People carry their weight in different places, and if you look pregnant some people truly want to be happy for you and congratulate you. If someone thought I was pregnant that would make me want to lose my weight even more, lol. Would not bother me, but I'm not uptight about a lot of things, so that is just me.

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http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/8730106.stm
Is that woman pregnant or fat?

Some commuters don't give up their seats for pregnant women because they fear offending someone who is just overweight, it has emerged. Here, expectant mothers give tips on how to tell the difference.

[... more ...]
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duplicate, sorry. Hit enter twice

I've had that question asked too many time to tell them all. When i'm thinner, it happens once or twice a year, when i'm around my actual weight, it's almost monthly.

My best come back line was:not pregnant, just fat. The clerk at the garage could never serve me again and would purposely hide when she saw me. (and I was at my lowest weight by that time).

As for politeness, if I don't see a head coming out of there, I ain't asking. Just saying.

I was at a party once and my friends dad said, "Anna stand with your friends so I can take a picture of the 3 pregnant girls at the party" I told him I was 4 mths pregnant even though I was there with my 6 mth old. I figured ehhh he was old and didn't know better.

***************************
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/8730106.stm
Is that woman pregnant or fat?

Some commuters don't give up their seats for pregnant women because they fear offending someone who is just overweight, it has emerged. Here, expectant mothers give tips on how to tell the difference.

[... more ...]
***************************

Nice.... I actually do some of those... but at some point staring at a girl examining her ankles and breathing patterns might get me slapped! hand on the belly is a big give away for me... also is if she gets on the train looking actively for a seat.

This happened to my Mom recently-but she made the boo-boo. She is the sweetest woman on earth and wanted to die when she realized what she had done.

Family friends of my husbands have 2 adult daughters. My mom doesn't know them by face, just by me talking about them. I had told her one of them was pregnant. She works at bingo and recognized our friend's mother and that she was there with her adult daughter. She walked over and patted her large belly and asked how the baby was doing. She replied "Actually I'm not pregnant, my sister is. I have a serious illness and that's why my belly is so bloated."

No words to describe it-my poor Mom... I think she stammered some kind of apology and ran for the hills.

It's called being polite, taking a interest in someone, being friendly... As long as they're not asking you how many weeks pregnant you are, when they know damn well you're NOT preganant, and just want to upset you by saying in a roundabout way that you're FAT, I don't see the issue. If they ARE being genuine, then what does that tell you? And if you don't recognise this problem yourself, then why are you on MFP?

My comeback would be "I'm not pregnant with a baby, I'm just storing fat for World War III. But let's be optimistic, that isn't going to happen, so thanks for pointing out that my fat stores hopefully won't be required. I'll do something about getting rid of them"

Very few people would say something to purposefully hurt you. They either genuinely think you're pregnant, or are too stupid to contemplate the fact it might be fat and not a baby, and engage their mouth before their brain.

Think about it, if you weren't "fat" they wouldn't be saying it. So who's the one with the problem? One they're actively looking to sort out? I've just shifted my "4 month bump" :-)

It'd still be none of their business if I was pregnant.

It may not be anyone's business, but being pregnant is a beautiful blessing and people want to acknowledge they know you are pregnant. I know when I was pregnant I loved it when people asked me mainly because I didn't think I looked pregnant.

This clearly is a bone of contention with some people! What a debate.
Personally I would never ask someone how far along they are unless they had themselves actually told me they were pregnant.
Surprisingly, considering I have spent a lot of time in my life overweight, I have never had this happen to me. Never have my family said anything of the sort, possibly because most of them have there own food bumps so I'd just say mine was due the same time as theirs! Lol.
I can see the view of those saying that perhaps the other person was just showing an interest in you, however there are plenty of other things they could have said if that were the case. If those people were just trying to be polite please please can you strike up a conversation about the weather next time? Much safer, shouldn't offend, and hopefully you will make a new friend who, when you are pregnant, you will tell without them needing to ask!!
Right....I think that solves everything, lol, :happy:

That's an awful feeling to have someone say that to you. I'm so sorry you had to experience that.

About the topic in general, I think these days people should be more than aware that you don't ask a woman if she's pregnant. It's like asking a woman what she weighs. (I loved the Dave Barry quote! Wise man.) It's a tacit sort of protocol.

I mean I had a co-worker that was a lesbian. It was obvious to me after a while (and I could care less what her sexual orientation is), but I'm not going to out her by commenting on it. If she wants to tell me, that's awesome. But until then, it's not my business.

Anyway, what I'm saying is I agree with those people who say it's not their business. Personally, I would find it extremely intrusive to have someone ask me something like that or to want to see or touch my belly even if I /were/ pregnant. But that's who I am. Some people don't care about that kind of thing. It comes down to personality to a certain extent. Also, it's /very/ generational. What we'd consider impolite is absolutely acceptable to a certain generation when such things were expected of women.