did you just say i was pregnant EXSUSE YOU?

Having been pregnant three times now, having been skinny and still being overweight, here's my answer boiled down into one sentence: If you don't want people asking you if you're pregnant, don't look like you're pregnant.

I have PCOS. I have never been pregnant and have been told it will be difficult to get pregnant, stay pregnant and have a healthy child. Can you imagine if I was trying to get pregnant and someone asked me if I was?

I have never been skinny. Ever. I steadily gained weight ever since my ovaries started pumping out hormones even though my parents frantically tried everything they could wasting thousands of dollars. Unless you have lived through this, you cannot begin to imagine the depression a child, teenager, or adult feels having been overweight their entire lives. You already feel like every person is judging you. To have someone ask if you are pregnant confirms that in your mind, depresses you further and makes you hate yourself even more for not being able to fix the problem.

Losing weight is very difficult for some. Why would anyone WANT to look pregnant?

People need to stop being so judgmental of others. If someone is fat, maybe they have a medical condition. If a child is screaming uncontrollably and the parent isn't doing anything about it, maybe the child is autistic. If a person says a rude comment or asks you a rude question, maybe they were not raised in a household that teaches manners.

It's called being polite, taking a interest in someone, being friendly... As long as they're not asking you how many weeks pregnant you are, when they know damn well you're NOT preganant, and just want to upset you by saying in a roundabout way that you're FAT, I don't see the issue. If they ARE being genuine, then what does that tell you? And if you don't recognise this problem yourself, then why are you on MFP?

My comeback would be "I'm not pregnant with a baby, I'm just storing fat for World War III. But let's be optimistic, that isn't going to happen, so thanks for pointing out that my fat stores hopefully won't be required. I'll do something about getting rid of them"

Very few people would say something to purposefully hurt you. They either genuinely think you're pregnant, or are too stupid to contemplate the fact it might be fat and not a baby, and engage their mouth before their brain.

Think about it, if you weren't "fat" they wouldn't be saying it. So who's the one with the problem? One they're actively looking to sort out? I've just shifted my "4 month bump" :-)

This.
If you actually look pregnant (and be honest, if this is happening ALL the time you probably DO look pregnant), then it's not rude or unreasonable for someone else to ask you an innocent question or comment on it.
If you get upset about it, it's because you're just defensive about being big. That is not the other person's fault.

ps I myself don't comment unless I'm 100% sure. By the same token I also don't feel obligated to get up from a bus seat unless I'm once again 100% sure. That might hurt their feelings too if they're not really preggo

This.
If you actually look pregnant (and be honest, if this is happening ALL the time you probably DO look pregnant), then it's not rude or unreasonable for someone else to ask you an innocent question or comment on it.
If you get upset about it, it's because you're just defensive about being big. That is not the other person's fault.

ps I myself don't comment unless I'm 100% sure. By the same token I also don't feel obligated to get up from a bus seat unless I'm once again 100% sure. That might hurt their feelings too if they're not really preggo

So, is it ok if I go up to ask a fat male an "innocent question" or "comment" ? ~ "Excuse me, are you fat? and how long have you been fat?"

Same *kitten* different pile !

Unless anyone has actually asked you the question, you really shouldn't even be commenting. Those who haven't been asked do not realize how hurtful it is, all rudeness or non-rudeness issues aside.

Very well said!

^ AMEN. Thank you!!

Unless anyone has actually asked you the question, you really shouldn't even be commenting. Those who haven't been asked do not realize how hurtful it is, all rudeness or non-rudeness issues aside.

Very well said!

^ AMEN. Thank you!!

Agreed. And again I stand on: can you imagine how hurtful it feels to have someone ask you that, when you're trying to conceive and can't? Or just lost a baby? Been there, in both situations. It wasn't any of their business.

This is great! I love this subject. When I WAS pregnant and people would ask, I would love to tell them that I wasn't pregnant just to see that look of humiliation on their face!! LOL! Oh...it was great!

YES. It has happened to me no matter what the weight. When I was overweight AND even a few weeks ago. And I'm a size 6 now! People are buttheads, and RUDE!

Well, according to some people here you are clearly at fault. Apparently size six just isn't small enough and you should starve yourself to emaciation so no one will ever think such a thing. *eyeroll* We wouldn't want people to have to learn manners or anything.

People ask me all the time, not because I'm big but because I'm always sick. I swear every time I'm nauseous (which is a lot) someone, student, teacher, friend, etc, will ask if I'm sure I'm not pregnant. I do think it's rude, since lupus means I am most likely infertile and it just reminds me that no, I'm not pregnant, I'm just chronically ill. But I try not to hold it against them because SO MANY people ask that I would be ticked off at everyone all the time.

When I started puttin the weight on, my co-worker at the time had spread rumors about me in my workplace. She told everyone that I "had to be pregnant and hiding it". I gave her the silent treatment. When she walked in the room, I would immediately drop what I was doing and walk out. If she said hi to me, I would glare at her for like 3 seconds, then turn around and walk away. After a year with no belly & n baby, she knew she was wrong. Still to this day, it pisses me off....

I've had the opposite happen to me. We'd just been to visit my dad in hospital and mum decided she needed a cuppa to help calm her down. The only table left was one with bench seats and very little room between the table and benches and as I was about two weeks off of my due date,I had to sit length ways on the bench.We had our cuppa and I then had to wriggle my way off the bench as I struggled to get off the seat I jokingly remarked that wouldn't it be just like the thing if the baby decided to come now, mum looked at me then at my bulge and said don't you dare. The guy at the other table looked at us then said ' Gee I'm sorry I didn't realize you were pregnant or I'd have given you this table I thought you were just fat.' Now that I think is rude.