did you just say i was pregnant EXSUSE YOU?

YES!!

At work earlier this year the manager started giving me weird looks all day....and then she patted my belly and asked how far along I was!! I was mortified!

She even patted your belly? sheesh! Totally in your space. I hope she was embarrassed.

I just don't get why people get so offended about it. More to the point it frustrates me how annoyed they get when somebody tries to innocently share in their celebration of being pregant.

In a nutshell, you WOULDN'T be reacting like this if you were pregnant would you??!??! You'd want to share.

Even though people who ask usually have good intentions, it's a personal question and should not be asked. What if the woman is being pressured by her man to abort? What if the woman got pregnant following a rape? etc. If the woman is a stranger, it's none of your business. If you're friends/ relatives/ etc with the woman, the woman will bring it up when she wants to.

I learned this lesson multiple times as a child. I will share two of the most memorable ones. Once, I saw another girl my age, walking to school on a rainy day. Her mom was holding the umbrella for her. She moved her feet in a weird way and was getting her socks all wet. I thought she was playing around (as I used to, myself -- jumping in puddles and stuff) and pointed out, "hey, you're getting your socks all wet." Her mom replied, "she has polio."

Another time, I was at a hospital to visit a relative. I don't remember the circumstances clearly, I was in third or fourth grade and it's been a while -- I think we went into a wrong room. The room we were in, we didn't find our relative, but there was a boy on a bed. Apparently he just had a major surgery. He was talking excited about how now that his surgery is over, he can go back to playing soccer with his friends. Some guy on another bed joined the conversation, and they chatted about soccer. Meanwhile the boy's mother looks like someone just died, and she eventually walked out of the room quietly. My mom, concerned, followed her, and I followed my mom.Turns out they had to amputate the boy's leg... He didn't know it yet because his "legs" were covered in a blanket, and he couldn't feel any difference yet.

The guy on the other bed had good intentions. I can't blame him at all. But the whole situation had such a great impact on me: keep your mouth shut. You don't know what they're going through. Extreme situations can and do happen all around us.

We live in a world where having good intentions isn't enough... You have to have more than that. You have to be prudent.

Awhile ago I had an aquaintence that I hadnt seen for a long time come into my place of employment. He said,"Congratulations!! How far along are you??" He is a very arrogant guy and thought it was very funny when I told him that I was just fat.He proceeded to go on and on about it, telling me how I really looked like it so how could he have known and yada yada.... So when I got home, I went on his facebook wall and I wrote..."Hi there Chad, I just wanted to ask you if you were gay?? You really look like you are gay but if you arent, I apologize....have a great day!!" All of his friends went crazy over it! He shortly emailed me with an apology:)

It's called being polite, taking a interest in someone, being friendly...

It is not polite to ask someone about what is going on in their uterus. Ever. To quote the great Dave Barry, "Never ask a woman if she is pregnant unless you see an actual baby emerging from her".

THIS.

Awhile ago I had an aquaintence that I hadnt seen for a long time come into my place of employment. He said,"Congratulations!! How far along are you??" He is a very arrogant guy and thought it was very funny when I told him that I was just fat.He proceeded to go on and on about it, telling me how I really looked like it so how could he have known and yada yada.... So when I got home, I went on his facebook wall and I wrote..."Hi there Chad, I just wanted to ask you if you were gay?? You really look like you are gay but if you arent, I apologize....have a great day!!" All of his friends went crazy over it! He shortly emailed me with an apology:)

THIS is brilliance.

I was thinking about it.. not only is this question completely rude/tactless/presumptive/etc, I just find it inherently offensive from a womanist/gender standpoint. It's one thing for a woman to look heavy/overweight, but to think she is pregnant is another thing entirely. The person, above all, has to ASSUME you're a) sexually active, b) having unprotected sex, and c) physically able to have children!! What if you are none of the above?? I am celibate, but have been on birth control for over 10 years for health reasons. I have made the mistake in confiding in a few individuals that I was on the pill, and before I could even explain, their eyebrows arched and a few gave me disapproving looks. One asked, "But, why?" As they knew I was celibate. Weeelll, let's see, because I had horrible acne, insanely heavy periods in which I was doubled over in pain, etc., etc. Why do people, other women included, know so LITTLE about women's health??? It's scary. I think this question speaks of not only a sheer lack of tact and common sense, but a lack of knowledge and respect of women and their bodies!