Biting my tongue at seeing overweight children
Replies
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Hey, no way that theory will fly!! My mom spanked me PLENTY, and I have a big round butt...maybe residual traumatic swelling?
You know what my mom did if I dared throw a tantrum over something like donuts? Spank the crap outta me. Take a wild guess how many tantrums I threw :laugh: Caribbean parents don't play that game at ALL. especially the Jamaicans :bigsmile:
Yeah, that'll get CPS repelling down from helicopters on ya here. My husband had the audacity to take my son out of the store when he was throwing a tantrum and we had the sheriff called on us.
Thats just crazy! another example of people seeing a small peice of a whole picture and making harsh judgments!
It's sad too as the CPS system is already over burrdened with real problems.
i was at target and a little girl about 9 asked her mom if she could tell the dr she got new shoes and the mom snapped back "no! Are you stupid?? then he would know why we were late!" and continued yelling at her to hurry up. like it was the kids fault they were late. thats the kind of person who needs the cops called on them! i get frustrated with my daughter but i would NEVER call her stupid.
yup major difference. my mom spanked me if i wanted to act out and really misbehave but there was no one calling me stupid or really abusing me.
i got a swat on the butt when I deserved it and I turned out just fine, well actually my butt is a little flatter
HA! so THATS why i have no booty!!!!
Me too! My mom is gonna get it next time I see her!0 -
That's incredibly rude. Hope you feel good about that.I laughed at your ignorance....a lot actually so thanks for that! I probably burned some calories0 -
Personally, I hate seeing overweight children too. Or overweight anyone for that matter. I know that some people have medical issues as to why they are fat, but not everyone. And we're not talking about them. And also some children have 'baby fat'.
I don't think that any parents should feed their children junk food. As young children, they don't think about what they're eating, and if you give them junk food as a treat, they'll learn that that is the best thing to eat and want it all of the time. My cousin rewards his children with fruit, it's yummy, and they have learned that fruit is seemingly the 'coolest' thing to eat.
It's human nature to judge. And there is an obesity crisis. So your opinions are fair enough. And I agree.0 -
A parent ordering deep fried junk for their skinny child is every bit as bad as a parent ordering deep fried junk for their chubby child - regardless of the size of the child, you aren't taking care of them when you fill their bodies with junk and, when a child is already overweight, you are just exasperating the problem (but even if they're skinny, you aren't giving their bodies what they need to grow and develop in a healthy manner).
I agree! I have a bigger issue with parents feeding their kids unhealthy food CONSTANTLY than just an overweight child (since a child can be overweight but eat healthy food 99% of the time)Yeah, that'll get CPS repelling down from helicopters on ya here. My husband had the audacity to take my son out of the store when he was throwing a tantrum and we had the sheriff called on us.
Wow, that's ridiculous. Honestly, if I had the choice to leave all my stuff to take a tantrum throwing child outside to talk to I would! I wouldn't fight with a screaming child in the store. It doesn't mean you're going to beat them just because you removed them from the store.
Yeah it was pretty bad. I was pissed. I work with CPS as a counselor and I was like WAHHH?0 -
No right at all. When I was young my doctor prescribed me steroids (incorrectly) and my weight balooned. Later on in life i found out that my teachers used to go through my lunch box, tell the canteen staff to not let me eat certain foods and question my mum about what she fed me. I remember one day them forcing me to sit and eat an egg (as it was classed as healthy) until I was sick. I went from being very skinny to very very fat in a short space of time so people felt the need to 'help me'. From then on I was constantly judged and people often made comments. I had low self esteem for years. basically, keep your mouth shut and move on
That is ridiculous. They had no right to do the things they did.
It was very very hurtful and those memories stick with me forever. Even just staring at an overweight kid for too long can have an everlasting damaging affect. We all judge but those judgements are not always right. It has nothing to do with anyone but that family. We live in a society that make negative judgements to make ourselves feel better. Why even bother posting about these negativities.0 -
I have a hard time believing that anybody is calming down a toddler having a tantrum by telling them they are going to provide “healthy” foods when you get home LOL
And side note, on top of all the people saying that they wouldn’t give the child the donut, I would like to also point out those are probably the same people who are giving you nasty dirty looks because you can’t “control” your child.
Have a heart that is full of love and respect for other people. Be it if they are “overweight” or “ugly” whatever doesn’t meet YOUR standards. Being loving and kind isn’t a hot topic around here ive noticed. “Voicing” opinions in rash cruel ways is much more popular..
Also, aren’t most people here for the exact same reasons? Lets us not cast stones at a glass house. We haven’t all been in the shoes of others.
Eloquent and kind! I totally agree.1 -
Hey, no way that theory will fly!! My mom spanked me PLENTY, and I have a big round butt...maybe residual traumatic swelling?
You know what my mom did if I dared throw a tantrum over something like donuts? Spank the crap outta me. Take a wild guess how many tantrums I threw :laugh: Caribbean parents don't play that game at ALL. especially the Jamaicans :bigsmile:
Yeah, that'll get CPS repelling down from helicopters on ya here. My husband had the audacity to take my son out of the store when he was throwing a tantrum and we had the sheriff called on us.
Thats just crazy! another example of people seeing a small peice of a whole picture and making harsh judgments!
It's sad too as the CPS system is already over burrdened with real problems.
i was at target and a little girl about 9 asked her mom if she could tell the dr she got new shoes and the mom snapped back "no! Are you stupid?? then he would know why we were late!" and continued yelling at her to hurry up. like it was the kids fault they were late. thats the kind of person who needs the cops called on them! i get frustrated with my daughter but i would NEVER call her stupid.
yup major difference. my mom spanked me if i wanted to act out and really misbehave but there was no one calling me stupid or really abusing me.
i got a swat on the butt when I deserved it and I turned out just fine, well actually my butt is a little flatter
HA! so THATS why i have no booty!!!!
Me too! My mom is gonna get it next time I see her!
No way that theory works! My mom spanked me plenty & I have a big 'ol butt...residual traumatic swelling?0 -
I have a chunky kid, and if you ever approached me and told me he was fat, I'd kick you right in the pee flaps. He isn't chunky because I feed him terribly, he's chunky because he's going to be huge! His dad is 6'6 with a 52" shoulder spance. My son will grow into his body, hopefully you'll grow out of your prejudice. My son plays football, is in the running club, does karate, and is outside more than he's in the house...I feed him nothing but clean meals and the occasional treat. Unless you know the background of the child, how dare you sit in judgement!
??? Kids that grow to be big (tall and large framed) don't need to be chunky as children. Fat is fat whether it's on a 5' bodyor a 7' body.
I agree, you can have a kid with a large frame but if he's overweight (fat) it's because he's eating excess calories! Your defensiveness is not going to help him get healthy. Why fix something when you don't think it's broken?!?!
Overweight children face a hard life starting at a young age, starting with self esteem issues, and later health. My 34 year old God brother just got his leg amputated because of diabetes. He was always an over weight child and now at a young age, he's missing a limb.
STOP being so sensitive and help make a difference in your children's life. For some the first step is to admit it, for other's is to seek professional help in how to eat and combat this ADDICTION (Yes food is an addiction like drugs).
Unlike cancer and other deadly diseases, over control eating can be cured with discipline, education, and a desire to do so!0 -
I have a hard time believing that anybody is calming down a toddler having a tantrum by telling them they are going to provide “healthy” foods when you get home LOL
And side note, on top of all the people saying that they wouldn’t give the child the donut, I would like to also point out those are probably the same people who are giving you nasty dirty looks because you can’t “control” your child.
Have a heart that is full of love and respect for other people. Be it if they are “overweight” or “ugly” whatever doesn’t meet YOUR standards. Being loving and kind isn’t a hot topic around here ive noticed. “Voicing” opinions in rash cruel ways is much more popular..
Also, aren’t most people here for the exact same reasons? Lets us not cast stones at a glass house. We haven’t all been in the shoes of others.
Eloquent and kind! I totally agree.
Exactly!0 -
Preventative donuts?!
Lmfao. If your child had good eating habits they wouldnt be asking for donuts to be happy.
Oh your assumptions are killing me LOL. Kids with good eating habits are going to ask for junk at some point. It's going to be introduced to them somwhewere (school, another kid, etc) It's not that far of a stretch. Most parents I know who do this say "Hey, here's a (insert junk food here) now be good while I talk to the mail man". There's no tantrum, there's no crying. Preventative.
I would never just offer up my son junk food to keep him quiet or happy.
I either carry healthy snacks or tell him if he behaves well we will make a stop at the park or the toy store.
I see no GOOD excuse for handing over junk food.0 -
Ok I am going to throw my serious 2 cents in
Child hood obesity is a serious problem and its sad. It really is up to the parents to show your child how to eat right and be active. That's right kids put down your controllers and get some ****ing fresh air and eat some damn carrots while your at it.
That is something you need to do for your own children! Put your heart and focus on them when you get them and then maybe you won't be sickened to the point of nausea over things you can not control. I am sadden for children who get neglected by their parents no matter if its giving them crappy food every night or if its a child who is beaten but until you live behind their walls its really tough to know what exactly is going on. (Before anyone jumps on me for that last statement I mean that while I was working in social services for every true neglect case there were 20 nosy neighbor cases who think that the kid who has bruises from baseball was beaten)
Also sadly there are many epidemics in this country. Unemployment is at an all time low, more and more people are without health insurance and many people are losing their homes.
Hopefully I don't loose my job, get fat (fatter i mean, hey I am on here for a reason), loose my healthy insurance and my home! Then your glaring eyes would really have something to stare at0 -
From what I understand from what this conversation sprang out of (a lollypop in line for the mail) we're talking about a parent giving a child a treat to prevent them from having bad behavior.
we are talking about a parent giving a child a treat thats already acting out i bad behavior to stop the bad behavior...
therefore rewarding the way the child is acting to get wat they want.
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this started when someone said they understand someone giving their child a doughnut to stop a tantrum. Then people started assuming said person dose this all the time and has no control over thier kid. harsh judgments for only a few words said in a forum.0 -
That's incredibly rude. Hope you feel good about that.I laughed at your ignorance....a lot actually so thanks for that! I probably burned some calories
Won't be losing any sleep over it0 -
From what I understand from what this conversation sprang out of (a lollypop in line for the mail) we're talking about a parent giving a child a treat to prevent them from having bad behavior.
we are talking about a parent giving a child a treat thats already acting out i bad behavior to stop the bad behavior...
therefore rewarding the way the child is acting to get wat they want.
this started when someone said they understand someone giving their child a doughnut to stop a tantrum. Then people started assuming said person dose this all the time and has no control over thier kid. harsh judgments for only a few words said in a forum.
[/quote]
Ah OK. I only saw the lolly pop in the post office part haha.0 -
:noway: How DARE overweight people go out in public! I'm so sorry you had to look at that :sad:
haha
The Nerve. Fat children? Who didn't lock the cage? Where is my torch and pitchfork when I need it?!?!
Has it hit anyone that has read this that they were there for a viewing of "the poitically incorrect" Rudolph? (haha wow) Am I wrong, or isn't that a story about not judging people based on their differences? Sooomebody should've paid more attention...
Maybe something better to take from your horrifying experience: Teach your kids healthy eating habits.
You may want to pay a tutor for their tolerance lessons however.0 -
From what I understand from what this conversation sprang out of (a lollypop in line for the mail) we're talking about a parent giving a child a treat to prevent them from having bad behavior.
we are talking about a parent giving a child a treat thats already acting out i bad behavior to stop the bad behavior...
therefore rewarding the way the child is acting to get wat they want.
this started when someone said they understand someone giving their child a doughnut to stop a tantrum. Then people started assuming said person dose this all the time and has no control over thier kid. harsh judgments for only a few words said in a forum.
[/quote]
Never assumed that ONE person does it all the time.
Ive seen parents that do it all the time.
Yet, im just saying in general.0 -
This had my heart pumping faster than the stair climber....
I am so thankful that you bit your tounge. Those girls I am sure get ENOUGH comments and stares that had you added your comments in a moment of cruelty could have been something they remembered for a long time...all so you could have slept better at night no doubt... now that being said....
I have a ten year old daughter (just turned 10 end of Sept) that is 5'6" and weighs about 164 most of her weight is in her hind end...Her BMI according to her dr is 21 so she is considered NORMAL weight BUT to the tiny and short little 5th graders at her school(which is middle school here) they call her all kinds of Fat names...She got her period at 9 and from that moment on she has had to watch what she puts in her mouth...the rest of my kids all TALL boys can eat whatever they want and still look like straws...
She has the body of a 16 year old girl...curvy or she says a JLO butt....she is active on the Vollyball team and now runs with me...Dr said she is a HEALTHY normal 10 year old but the tallest he has seen in years...
You would never see her stuffing her body with all that food you saw those other precious girls eating but you will see her have an ice cream, eat pizza and have cupcakes at her birthday party...I love my daughter heart and soul...She has endured cruel comments all because she is "different"....She is not obese but gets her self esteem stomped on, on a regular basis...
You have NO IDEA if they were indeed 8 or so as my 10 year old DOES NOT look 10...Her mom may have much of the same issues some of us here at MFP had that in the end brought us to this site...
I forget at times that this site is used as a starvation tool and not just weightloss...
So to the OP...Again,I am so thanful you bit your tounge...You can hurt for them and maybe even pray that a higher power will get them in the right direction to better health before they too have to find a site like this that may have some judgemental comments about big kids eatting too much food and how some of the fit and thinner people almost lost their cookies at the site of them eatting...
******To the others for pointing fingers at the mom's who give their kids donuts or candy during a grocery store visit or in line at a post office as a negotiation tool...SHAME ON YOU!!!
Should we point fingers at you for depriving your kids of those treats all together??? Yay for you for having soldier trained kids but REALLY??? They eventually will break out from under your hard core rules and deprivation and binge on all things junk and sweet...you walk a fine line...
We are on this journey to learn how to have those treats in moderation...if the moms are giving them to the kids in moderation they too are teaching their little ones how it is a treat to have those items...0 -
I would never just offer up my son junk food to keep him quiet or happy.
I either carry healthy snacks or tell him if he behaves well we will make a stop at the park or the toy store.
I see no GOOD excuse for handing over junk food.
this is my point about judging someone by a few words said in a forum. you were quoting me before and saying i was wrong to give into tantrums by giving out doughnuts when all i said was i understood where the person was coming from when she said she did that. i hardly ever give into tantrums but if i want to stop her from crying for a few minutes so i can get through the checkout, i give her some cheerios or fruit snacks. never a doughnut. i'm just saying, we shouldn't be so quick to judge0 -
I think it has something to do with people getting very angry at others for a myriad of things.
Do you like Obama? Then people are going to be very angry at you.
What about your religion? Yep. Guaranteed people will be very angry about whatever you answer there.
You want to make a difference with overweight kids? Be the example. Keep the judgement to thyself. Next up on the judgement block may be you for a number of reasons.
Also the statements being used are inflammatory, derrogative, and highly insulting. There is a difference between "I think that overweight children need to adjust their diet" to "It disgusts me".
Note "you" is a general term, not any one person in particular.
Agreed.0 -
From what I understand from what this conversation sprang out of (a lollypop in line for the mail) we're talking about a parent giving a child a treat to prevent them from having bad behavior.
we are talking about a parent giving a child a treat thats already acting out i bad behavior to stop the bad behavior...
therefore rewarding the way the child is acting to get wat they want.
this started when someone said they understand someone giving their child a doughnut to stop a tantrum. Then people started assuming said person dose this all the time and has no control over thier kid. harsh judgments for only a few words said in a forum.
Ah OK. I only saw the lolly pop in the post office part haha.
[/quote]
oh yeah, it started hours ago! why am i still here?? lol!0 -
Never assumed that ONE person does it all the time.
Ive seen parents that do it all the time.
Yet, im just saying in general.
if it is a generalization, you should quote someone. that makes it personal
edit- shouldn't0 -
TO THE ORIGINAL WRITER: My daughter (13) is obese. She has very high testosterone. The abnormal levels were just picked up in an annual physical in October. Our regular pediatrician wasn't available and we had a substitute younger pediatrician who ordered some blood work and FINALLY picked up on something that may explain why my 13 year old daughter wear's a size 11 sneaker and is 5' 6.5" tall (taller than me, taller than most of her teachers, and taller than the boys in her class). We've been to the nutritionist, taken family karate classes and zumba classes, we've been to Saturday morning Weight Watcher meetings and have lived on frozen WW and Lean Cuisine meals for a year and nothing works. I haven't given up. I can not give up because she's my daughter and she needs my help. I HATE when people post this stuff. You are judging. And worse yet, you are trying to sugar coat it by saying you don't like yourself for "thinking that way". I know I am a loving, attentive, hands-on single mother. My family and friends know the lengths I have gone to to try and help my kids "not be fat".... so when my mother-in-law who only sees my daughter 2x a year gives me advice I didn't ask for or a parent scrunches up their nose in my daughter's direction because they don't know I am her mom. It really pisses me off. ADULTS ARE SUPPOSED TO KNOW BETTER THAN TO JUDGE A BOOK BY ITS COVER! This is why there is still bullying in our school systems....I am a very blunt, forward person. Get a few drinks in me and I'm like a truth machine. It's both a curse and a good thing.
So the other night, a few of us went to our local cafe after hours where they were showing christmas movies. We had a few drinks, enjoyed some cafe treats, and cozied in for the politically incorrect Rudolph.
Looking to my left though, I noticed two extremely, and I mean extremely overweight girls dressed in tight multicolored dresses, the buttons on the blouses gapped and barely holding. They couldn't have been any older then 8 or 9. Mom had gotten them the cafe's baked mac and cheese, both their own, with the chowder to dip it into, and chocolate brownies for desert. The cafe also served free popcorn in which I was behind one of the girls in line, as she scooped up and filled her bowl, stopped, realizing she could fit more in, and piled it higher. I swear she snorted at me as she turned to walk back to her seat.
I felt sick. Nauseous. I couldn't even get my handful of popcorn. I wanted to eject the dinner I had and the cookies I had eaten. I wanted to say something to the mother. I was sitting next to them the whole time. Listening to them eat. Watching. It was like a horrible movie montage. As the one girl finished her mac and cheese, her smaller brother had half of his left, and so she finished his for him.
I saw the beginning of a long journey of self-esteem issues and hurt as they get older and realize how much their size is going to effect them.
I also hated myself for thinking the thoughts I had. What right do I have to judge them?
Yes. I believe you are right to judge. You didn't say anything to anyone so you didn't offend anyone that would cause a scene. People who allow their kids to eat like **** and be fat deserve to be harshly judged. Parents are making their kids fat! Might as well give your 8 year old a loaded gun to play with while they devour their mcnuggets, frosty, fries and brownies.0 -
I would never just offer up my son junk food to keep him quiet or happy.
I either carry healthy snacks or tell him if he behaves well we will make a stop at the park or the toy store.
I see no GOOD excuse for handing over junk food.
this is my point about judging someone by a few words said in a forum. you were quoting me before and saying i was wrong to give into tantrums by giving out doughnuts when all i said was i understood where the person was coming from when she said she did that. i hardly ever give into tantrums but if i want to stop her from crying for a few minutes so i can get through the checkout, i give her some cheerios or fruit snacks. never a doughnut. i'm just saying, we shouldn't be so quick to judge
Am i judging?!
Nope.
Just said its not something I MYSELF would do.0 -
I would never just offer up my son junk food to keep him quiet or happy.
I either carry healthy snacks or tell him if he behaves well we will make a stop at the park or the toy store.
I see no GOOD excuse for handing over junk food.
this is my point about judging someone by a few words said in a forum. you were quoting me before and saying i was wrong to give into tantrums by giving out doughnuts when all i said was i understood where the person was coming from when she said she did that. i hardly ever give into tantrums but if i want to stop her from crying for a few minutes so i can get through the checkout, i give her some cheerios or fruit snacks. never a doughnut. i'm just saying, we shouldn't be so quick to judge
Judging seems to be a big problem in this post LOL0 -
Never assumed that ONE person does it all the time.
Ive seen parents that do it all the time.
Yet, im just saying in general.
if it is a generalization, you should quote someone. that makes it personal
edit- shouldn't
Actually I quoated because my generalization was part of the conversation.
If people that it personally thats thier problem, not mine.0 -
I would never just offer up my son junk food to keep him quiet or happy.
I either carry healthy snacks or tell him if he behaves well we will make a stop at the park or the toy store.
I see no GOOD excuse for handing over junk food.
this is my point about judging someone by a few words said in a forum. you were quoting me before and saying i was wrong to give into tantrums by giving out doughnuts when all i said was i understood where the person was coming from when she said she did that. i hardly ever give into tantrums but if i want to stop her from crying for a few minutes so i can get through the checkout, i give her some cheerios or fruit snacks. never a doughnut. i'm just saying, we shouldn't be so quick to judge
Judging seems to be a big problem in this post LOL
Judging is a problem in every post.
Everybody states thier own opnions and fights to prove they are the ones that are right.0 -
Everytime I went for a well baby check up for both my daughters the Dr always provided me with the information for healthy eating and ways to provide exercise. My sister took her oldest son in for a check up and the Dr straight up told her your son is overweight and gave her all the information she needed to turn that around, he offered a nutrition website along with tons of print outs. So for all the people that keep saying all the parents need to be educated ....yea they are being educated. So what the bleep is really going on?? Stop making exuses people, do the right thing!! My girls are fit and lean from sports and jumping on the trampoline and running and just playing like kids do. My husband and I kick the soccer ball around with my girls, we take the girls jogging with us while they ride their bikes along side of us and we both work full time!!! Stop being lazy parents get off your butts and be their for your kids better yet be the example your kids need, they are learning what they live!!! And if your kids are still obese if you exercise with them and provide them with healthy ways to eat then you are lying to yourselves.0
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Everytime I went for a well baby check up for both my daughters the Dr always provided me with the information for healthy eating and ways to provide exercise. My sister took her oldest son in for a check up and the Dr straight up told her your son is overweight and gave her all the information she needed to turn that around, he offered a nutrition website along with tons of print outs. So for all the people that keep saying all the parents need to be educated ....yea they are being educated. So what the bleep is really going on?? Stop making exuses people, do the right thing!! My girls are fit and lean from sports and jumping on the trampoline and running and just playing like kids do. My husband and I kick the soccer ball around with my girls, we take the girls jogging with us while they ride their bikes along side of us and we both work full time!!! Stop being lazy parents get off your butts and be their for your kids better yet be the example your kids need, they are learning what they live!!! And if your kids are still obese if you exercise with them and provide them with healthy ways to eat then you are lying to yourselves.
Beyond well said.0 -
i was a fat child...still am....it wasnt anything my mom did ...she fed us the best she could and tried making us healthy...i mean i've been on weight loss programs since the age of 9 .... you dont always know whats going on ......0
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I'm still cracking up with "pee flaps" hahah0
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