Biting my tongue at seeing overweight children
Replies
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I think there are plenty of good people out there in the world who experience a negative internal reaction when they see morbidly obese children eating copious amounts of food, especially when those children are under the immediate supervision of adult caretakers. A person having a negative internal reaction to this situation does not automatically make that person a villain.
I also think it is ironic that some people are clearly judging other people for being judgemental.0 -
I would never just offer up my son junk food to keep him quiet or happy.
I either carry healthy snacks or tell him if he behaves well we will make a stop at the park or the toy store.
I see no GOOD excuse for handing over junk food.
this is my point about judging someone by a few words said in a forum. you were quoting me before and saying i was wrong to give into tantrums by giving out doughnuts when all i said was i understood where the person was coming from when she said she did that. i hardly ever give into tantrums but if i want to stop her from crying for a few minutes so i can get through the checkout, i give her some cheerios or fruit snacks. never a doughnut. i'm just saying, we shouldn't be so quick to judge
Am i judging?!
Nope.
Just said its not something I MYSELF would do.
Parents just handing over what children want are why they are unhealthy.
Your the parent, they are the child. Use some guidance.
[/quote]
this is you assuming i hand over anything my kid wants and judging me as a parent0 -
Are you actually suggesting this girl snorted like a pig?? I'm sorry, there is only one pig in this story and it wasn't the girl. It was YOU. If you are that disturbed by being around people different than yourself, I would like to suggest some in-depth counseling. Or perhaps living on a deserted island so nobody else has to be offended by YOUR SNORTING.0
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This had my heart pumping faster than the stair climber....
I am so thankful that you bit your tounge. Those girls I am sure get ENOUGH comments and stares that had you added your comments in a moment of cruelty could have been something they remembered for a long time...all so you could have slept better at night no doubt... now that being said....
You have NO IDEA if they were indeed 8 or so as my 10 year old DOES NOT look 10...Her mom may have much of the same issues some of us here at MFP had that in the end brought us to this site...
I forget at times that this site is used as a starvation tool and not just weightloss...
So to the OP...Again,I am so thanful you bit your tounge...You can hurt for them and maybe even pray that a higher power will get them in the right direction to better health before they too have to find a site like this that may have some judgemental comments about big kids eatting too much food and how some of the fit and thinner people almost lost their cookies at the site of them eatting...
******To the others for pointing fingers at the mom's who give their kids donuts or candy during a grocery store visit or in line at a post office as a negotiation tool...SHAME ON YOU!!!
Should we point fingers at you for depriving your kids of those treats all together??? Yay for you for having soldier trained kids but REALLY??? They eventually will break out from under your hard core rules and deprivation and binge on all things junk and sweet...you walk a fine line...
We are on this journey to learn how to have those treats in moderation...if the moms are giving them to the kids in moderation they too are teaching their little ones how it is a treat to have those items...
I began to type a lengthy response to this, but I decided to delete it. I also admit I have yet to finish reading everything in this forum thread.
I will say that this sums it up pretty well for me.0 -
Everytime I went for a well baby check up for both my daughters the Dr always provided me with the information for healthy eating and ways to provide exercise. My sister took her oldest son in for a check up and the Dr straight up told her your son is overweight and gave her all the information she needed to turn that around, he offered a nutrition website along with tons of print outs. So for all the people that keep saying all the parents need to be educated ....yea they are being educated. So what the bleep is really going on?? Stop making exuses people, do the right thing!! My girls are fit and lean from sports and jumping on the trampoline and running and just playing like kids do. My husband and I kick the soccer ball around with my girls, we take the girls jogging with us while they ride their bikes along side of us and we both work full time!!! Stop being lazy parents get off your butts and be their for your kids better yet be the example your kids need, they are learning what they live!!! And if your kids are still obese if you exercise with them and provide them with healthy ways to eat then you are lying to yourselves.
I agree and disagree with this....you should totally teach your kids to be healthy and eat right. Luckily for you and me we do have the resources to do so but not everyone is that fortunate. Like I was saying earlier people are losing their jobs which goes hand in hand with losing your health insurance. Maybe then you get government assistance but when your feeding a family on government assistance maybe you can only afford the cheaper unhealthy things. Maybe you can't afford a family gym membership so your can't be as active. Oh and where I live since there is typically snow mixed with below freezing temps for 9 out of the 12 months it really is essential to have a gym membership. But then again there are people who are just straight up too lazy to cook a proper meal and then go outside for activity. But you just have to be too careful about judging people to generally0 -
Actually I quoated because my generalization was part of the conversation.
If people that it personally thats thier problem, not mine.
this makes no sense. if you are quoting something a person says and then making a comment, that is pesonal.0 -
Just to put it out there. I understand there are children with issues that cause them to be overweight in ways they, nor their parents can control.
However, the chances that BOTH of her children had this is less likely. I'm not just saying that they were fat or a bit overweight. They were obese. I hate to be this descriptive but they didn't just have double chins.
I could be further judgmental and on the basis of the clothes they were wearing, and the upper side of town cafe we were at, that they didn't lack money. Their weight was more than likely the result of a parents overindulgence to their kids wants and desires.0 -
Everytime I went for a well baby check up for both my daughters the Dr always provided me with the information for healthy eating and ways to provide exercise. My sister took her oldest son in for a check up and the Dr straight up told her your son is overweight and gave her all the information she needed to turn that around, he offered a nutrition website along with tons of print outs. So for all the people that keep saying all the parents need to be educated ....yea they are being educated. So what the bleep is really going on?? Stop making exuses people, do the right thing!! My girls are fit and lean from sports and jumping on the trampoline and running and just playing like kids do. My husband and I kick the soccer ball around with my girls, we take the girls jogging with us while they ride their bikes along side of us and we both work full time!!! Stop being lazy parents get off your butts and be their for your kids better yet be the example your kids need, they are learning what they live!!! And if your kids are still obese if you exercise with them and provide them with healthy ways to eat then you are lying to yourselves.
Not all doctors do this. Not every parent realizes or is told there's a problem. I went into the doctors with one of our clearly obese clients and the doctor didn't say a word about her weight. Not a single word.0 -
Am i judging?!
Nope.
Just said its not something I MYSELF would do.
are you kidding?!?!?!?! you are telling all kinds of people they are wrong and you are right. when you dont even know the person, that is judging. if all you were saying is that is is something that you would do, the conversation would have been done long ago.0 -
Well said!!!!0
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I'm still cracking up with "pee flaps" hahah
Love this0 -
Sure lets all just be disguested by this.
And flog them. (flog is my word of the day I think)
And beat them with healthy food.
Because we know whats best.
And they are clearly are unfit parents.
I am a bit surprised you didnt call CPS on them.
They sound awful.
Just plain horrid.
I just threw up in my mouth.0 -
Everytime I went for a well baby check up for both my daughters the Dr always provided me with the information for healthy eating and ways to provide exercise. My sister took her oldest son in for a check up and the Dr straight up told her your son is overweight and gave her all the information she needed to turn that around, he offered a nutrition website along with tons of print outs. So for all the people that keep saying all the parents need to be educated ....yea they are being educated. So what the bleep is really going on?? Stop making exuses people, do the right thing!! My girls are fit and lean from sports and jumping on the trampoline and running and just playing like kids do. My husband and I kick the soccer ball around with my girls, we take the girls jogging with us while they ride their bikes along side of us and we both work full time!!! Stop being lazy parents get off your butts and be their for your kids better yet be the example your kids need, they are learning what they live!!! And if your kids are still obese if you exercise with them and provide them with healthy ways to eat then you are lying to yourselves.
What the bleep is really going on? Judgement (e.g. bullying) and thoughtless comments being made (WITH GOOD INTENTIONS) that, unfortunately, derail any sort of positive progress for healthy mindsets and emotions to fuel the makings of healthy people.0 -
Blargh, I typed this out and it's gone. I have no energy to retype it.0
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Sure lets all just be disguested by this.
And flog them. (flog is my word of the day I think)
And beat them with healthy food.
Because we know whats best.
And they are clearly are unfit parents.
I am a bit surprised you didnt call CPS on them.
They sound awful.
Just plain horrid.
I just threw up in my mouth.
Throwing up in your mouth. Like a boss.
Treat those animals how they deserve to be treated. Chains to a wall and fed tofu and beaten with reeds. That'll teach them for being fat.0 -
Sure lets all just be disguested by this.
And flog them. (flog is my word of the day I think)
And beat them with healthy food.
Because we know whats best.
And they are clearly are unfit parents.
I am a bit surprised you didnt call CPS on them.
They sound awful.
Just plain horrid.
I just threw up in my mouth.
Throwing up in your mouth. Like a boss.
Treat those animals how they deserve to be treated. Chains to a wall and fed tofu and beaten with reeds. That'll teach them for being fat.
I am boss.
Word.
Have you seen that on SNL? Great Skit.0 -
I'm judging all ya'll, I'm the original Judgy Mcjudgington! (it's a Scottish name)0
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Everytime I went for a well baby check up for both my daughters the Dr always provided me with the information for healthy eating and ways to provide exercise. My sister took her oldest son in for a check up and the Dr straight up told her your son is overweight and gave her all the information she needed to turn that around, he offered a nutrition website along with tons of print outs. So for all the people that keep saying all the parents need to be educated ....yea they are being educated. So what the bleep is really going on?? Stop making exuses people, do the right thing!! My girls are fit and lean from sports and jumping on the trampoline and running and just playing like kids do. My husband and I kick the soccer ball around with my girls, we take the girls jogging with us while they ride their bikes along side of us and we both work full time!!! Stop being lazy parents get off your butts and be their for your kids better yet be the example your kids need, they are learning what they live!!! And if your kids are still obese if you exercise with them and provide them with healthy ways to eat then you are lying to yourselves.
Not all doctors do this. Not every parent realizes or is told there's a problem. I went into the doctors with one of our clearly obese clients and the doctor didn't say a word about her weight. Not a single word.
I had know idea all Dr's didn't do this... that is very sad. But if I saw that my child was getting chunky and then even obese, I think I would probably take it into my own hands and do a little reserch to help my kid out.0 -
A parent ordering deep fried junk for their skinny child is every bit as bad as a parent ordering deep fried junk for their chubby child - regardless of the size of the child, you aren't taking care of them when you fill their bodies with junk and, when a child is already overweight, you are just exasperating the problem (but even if they're skinny, you aren't giving their bodies what they need to grow and develop in a healthy manner).
From a parenting viewpoint, yes it is just as bad. Though it may not be bad at all, as there is nothing wrong with the occasional treat.
From a health standpoint it is not the same. Obesity itself is a risk factor for many diseases, including diabetes, heart disease and many cancers.0 -
I know what you mean. I work in the Youth Wellness Center at the Y, so I'm dealing with overweight children everyday. But its so rewarding to see the kids working their little booties off to lose weight and seeing the transformation is great. But then you get some kids who just don't care and it just really bugs me that parents don't instill the importance of eating right and exercising.0
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I'm judging all ya'll, I'm the original Judgy Mcjudgington! (it's a Scottish name)
hahaha brilliant! All hail Judgy McJudgington!0 -
Just to put it out there. I understand there are children with issues that cause them to be overweight in ways they, nor their parents can control.
However, the chances that BOTH of her children had this is less likely. I'm not just saying that they were fat or a bit overweight. They were obese. I hate to be this descriptive but they didn't just have double chins.
I could be further judgmental and on the basis of the clothes they were wearing, and the upper side of town cafe we were at, that they didn't lack money. Their weight was more than likely the result of a parents overindulgence to their kids wants and desires.
The fact that they were both overweight may have been the key, speaking as someone who has a better understanding of genetic disease than a lot of people out there. 2 kids were "Obese" within the same family can be a sign of other problems.
STOP judging them. YOU DO NOT KNOW THEIR SITUATION.
Unless you are willing to be judged yourself, many of peoples problems are not worn where others can see them and judge like weight is.
I hope that as you get older that you can one day gain the insight to understand how terrible it is that you judge people like this. And I can only hope that you are not one day to be put in the situation where you or your family are judged the same way.0 -
Everytime I went for a well baby check up for both my daughters the Dr always provided me with the information for healthy eating and ways to provide exercise. My sister took her oldest son in for a check up and the Dr straight up told her your son is overweight and gave her all the information she needed to turn that around, he offered a nutrition website along with tons of print outs. So for all the people that keep saying all the parents need to be educated ....yea they are being educated. So what the bleep is really going on?? Stop making exuses people, do the right thing!! My girls are fit and lean from sports and jumping on the trampoline and running and just playing like kids do. My husband and I kick the soccer ball around with my girls, we take the girls jogging with us while they ride their bikes along side of us and we both work full time!!! Stop being lazy parents get off your butts and be their for your kids better yet be the example your kids need, they are learning what they live!!! And if your kids are still obese if you exercise with them and provide them with healthy ways to eat then you are lying to yourselves.
What the bleep is really going on? Judgement (e.g. bullying) and thoughtless comments being made (WITH GOOD INTENTIONS) that, unfortunately, derail any sort of positive progress for healthy mindsets and emotions to fuel the makings of healthy people.
Some people just really need to hear the truth to do something about it. But some people just want to keep making exuses. Just trying to help out0 -
I don't understand how people allow their kids get that obese.... How many things are they missing out on?
It makes me so sad. 0 -
:noway: How DARE overweight people go out in public! I'm so sorry you had to look at that :sad:
Uhh thats not at all what she said...Don't get all crazy & off topic. I agree with the original poster.
so you agree with the op that these children were so disgusting she wanted to throw up? because thats pretty much EXACTLY what she said.
Yeah I do. Thats how I would have felt. Obese children stuffing their faces with food they don't need while the parent sits there and is OKAY with it? Yup sounds about right. She didn't go up and insult the person, she just said how she felt. I see nothing wrong with that. If you don't agree or thats not how you feel, thats great, but everyone has different opinions on things.0 -
Not all doctors do this. Not every parent realizes or is told there's a problem. I went into the doctors with one of our clearly obese clients and the doctor didn't say a word about her weight. Not a single word.
I had know idea all Dr's didn't do this... that is very sad. But if I saw that my child was getting chunky and then even obese, I think I would probably take it into my own hands and do a little reserch to help my kid out.
Yeah not everyone has access to the resources. Going just off of my personal experience, growing up, being fat my whole life, etc. when I wanted to lose weight I had no idea what proper nutrtion was. In fact if it hadn't been for me just wanting to look good I wouldn't have even known there was a problem. Why? because my mom's fat, my dad's fat, my grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, all of them are fat. I didn't know the health problems that come with being fat, or that it could be why I couldn't walk up the stairs without huffing and puffing. My doctor didn't tell me (my doctor's fat too). My mom would just brush it off and say "Oh, you're just fluffy", or my dad would say "You've just got curves!". "Fat" is a four letter word in my house.
So yeah, not everyone realizes that "fat" is a problem and an indicator of poor health. Many people just think it's a look, not a product of a lifestyle.0 -
I don't understand how people allow their kids get that obese.... How many things are they missing out on? It makes me so sad.
It is not always the parents. My daughter comes home from school having eaten junk I would never let her have. But I am not always there to control her. She came home from church the other day saying she had 2 cupcakes because they were homemade and didnt want the person to feel bad if she only ate one of the 2 she was given. I will agree that there are parents that allow it to happen and even encourage it but it is not always the case.0 -
Seriously...if Im in Target..and my 6 yr old who is 43lbs wants a donut and it keeps him from screaming for the hour Im in the store...by God..hes getting a stinking donut! lol
This exactly!!! Every two weeks when I take my (healthy weight) 2 year old grocery shopping with me, I get her a corn dog and you can bet that crap is deep fried! It keeps her from going insane, and driving me insane, and keeps grocery shopping from being traumatizing for both of us. We eat healthy at home every day and a little bit of crap isn't going to kill her or make her grow up to be obese.
That being said, I do feel sad when I see severely overweight children who are obviously inheriting their parents habits. They absolutely DO NOT disgust me, but it does make me sad, and unhappy with their parents. But I don't know their situation, their medical history, their family life, and I try not to judge them.0 -
:noway: How DARE overweight people go out in public! I'm so sorry you had to look at that :sad:
Uhh thats not at all what she said...Don't get all crazy & off topic. I agree with the original poster.
so you agree with the op that these children were so disgusting she wanted to throw up? because thats pretty much EXACTLY what she said.
Yeah I do. Thats how I would have felt. Obese children stuffing their faces with food they don't need while the parent sits there and is OKAY with it? Yup sounds about right. She didn't go up and insult the person, she just said how she felt. I see nothing wrong with that. If you don't agree or thats not how you feel, thats great, but everyone has different opinions on things.
You really think those kids couldn't tell how she was looking at them?0 -
Just to put it out there. I understand there are children with issues that cause them to be overweight in ways they, nor their parents can control.
However, the chances that BOTH of her children had this is less likely. I'm not just saying that they were fat or a bit overweight. They were obese. I hate to be this descriptive but they didn't just have double chins.
I could be further judgmental and on the basis of the clothes they were wearing, and the upper side of town cafe we were at, that they didn't lack money. Their weight was more than likely the result of a parents overindulgence to their kids wants and desires.
I agree and in most cases the child or children do not have any health issues that result in such extreme weight. These people just want to have something to complain about. If a child is morbidly obese chances are that it is a result of poor parenting.. how can a child know how to eat properly if they are not taught...
Also, not having children doesn't make a person a complete idiot about obesity. Being obese is unhealthy and as a society we need to learn how to combat the issue. This is a fact and has nothing to do with whether a person has a child or not.
#thehardtruth0
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