breastfeeding in public
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I think it's funny that this topic gets so heated. I breastfeed my baby (and he's over a year--I know--scandalous, lol) in public (I like to leave the house sometimes) and though I am discreet--he is not. He does not appreciate have a blanket over his face and will remove it. I've never been approached or received dirty looks. It's just part of being a mom to me.
I'll join you with the scandal. My son was 27 months when I stopped nursing (from 12 months to 27 months I nursed morning and night so it was always at home). My daughter is almost 20 months and I'm nursing her morning and night too until she is 25 months (corresponds with the end of the school year!!).
My son was 4 1/2 when my daughter was born and I wasn't going to go into the bedroom when I wanted to nurse her so he saw me and my boobs while I was feeding my daughter. He also can open a door and sometimes sleeps in our bedroom so he's seen me come out of the shower without a robe on (horror). I want my children to know there is nothing wrong with the human body, it is not gross/disgusting, and that it is not inherently a sexual thing. I have taught him that his private parts (and those of others) are private and should not been seen or touched by anyone but mom/dad, grandma/grandpa (since they are his childcare and have helped potty train him) and his doctor. He knows the difference between good touch and bad touch. And he knows that mommy has bigger boobies than daddy and that he and daddy have a penis but that mommy and sister don't. And there is nothing disgusting about knowing any of that.
He still walks in when I nurse my daughter when she wakes or goes to sleep and even kisses her good night and good morning when she's latched on. Big deal.......he's being a sweet and kind big brother with a loving heart who knows that mommy milk is very healthy for his little sister. And that's the lesson he's learning.....that the body is normal and natural, that there is a time/place/reason to be naked, there is no need for shame over your body and that the body is an amazing thing created by God to be good. I'm proud of how he knows these things and what I've done for both of my children. And I covered up in public because I never know what someone else was dealing with and how that could emotionally affect them (especially moms who wished they could nurse and couldn't, those who had lost children and didn't have what I had, or those who had been abused in a way that this kind of display could have hurt in ways I would never know).0 -
Do you really feel that way, though?It bothers me that moms don't try to breast feed... I think it is ridiculous and selfish honestly... I mean IF YOU CAN"T that is one thing but you WON't is another.
How do you feel about it when other people apply that logic to you? For instance, say I'm a health nut, and I make homemade soup for dinner many nights. But YOU open a can of soup one night. So I call you "ridiculous and selfish." Because you COULD have made the perfect choice ("the perfect choice" equals MY choice, of course!!). Is that reasonable?
How about if you work? Do SAHMs think you're selfish and ridiculous? Or if you are a SAHM, do working moms think .... well, you know the rest.
Hey, I cloth diapered my older kids. Maybe you're ridiculous and selfish because you didn't happen to make the same choice I did.
Or... you know what? Maybe you just live a different life, and make the choices about what's best for YOUR family.
This0 -
It worries me that you think you have that much control.So, Ryan, I was just thinking -- You have a 9-year-old and you don't want her?? to see breasts?
I was a C-cup at 9 and had my first period at 11. She may not be developing, but some of her friends are. She's seen and known more than you can imagine, unless you don't allow her friends.
My daughter and I talk about what is going to happen to her body. She has seen me in a bra and knows that changes will be happening to her body. We are both female though. The comment was more geared to my son, his father will discuss with him what changes will happen. He does not need to see a female breast for educational purposes at 7 not mine or anyone's for that matter.
I guess my whole point is that I should decide when my daughter or son will be exposed to body parts, not the lady in the store who whips out out for the whole world to see!
Worry away, I am not worried what so ever about my kids and family nor am I worried about how anyone decides to raise their children. I gave my opinion on the subject and to each their own! I'm done explaining how I choose to raise my kids!
Things can happen to you as a child with your family that you will never forget and will change your opinion on how you want to raise your own children. My daughter talks to me about her body and my son talks to my husband.0 -
It worries me that you think you have that much control.So, Ryan, I was just thinking -- You have a 9-year-old and you don't want her?? to see breasts?
I was a C-cup at 9 and had my first period at 11. She may not be developing, but some of her friends are. She's seen and known more than you can imagine, unless you don't allow her friends.
My daughter and I talk about what is going to happen to her body. She has seen me in a bra and knows that changes will be happening to her body. We are both female though. The comment was more geared to my son, his father will discuss with him what changes will happen. He does not need to see a female breast for educational purposes at 7 not mine or anyone's for that matter.
I guess my whole point is that I should decide when my daughter or son will be exposed to body parts, not the lady in the store who whips out out for the whole world to see!
Worry away, I am not worried what so ever about my kids and family nor am I worried about how anyone decides to raise their children. I gave my opinion on the subject and to each their own! I'm done explaining how I choose to raise my kids!
Things can happen to you as a child with your family that you will never forget and will change your opinion on how you want to raise your own children. My daughter talks to me about her body and my son talks to my husband.
And Rightfully so!!!0 -
If we all agree (for the most part) that its okay to breastfeed in public, what about the age of the child? Does that matter at all or does that cause people to put limits on it or change their mind? I only bring it up because of the news stories of some women still breastfeeding their older kids to the age of like 7 and 8 years old.
http://www.breastfeeding.com/reading_room/eight_years.html
6 months to 1 year okay?
2 year old okay?
5 year old okay?
Where would you set the limits?
Your post got lost in the shuffle, it seems. I would not set limits. It's nourishment, not sexual. I personally stopped nursing my daughter at 17 months (she had a nursing strike and I went with it because I was pregnant with my son and it was no longer comfortable) and my son at 23 months because I developed PMDD and needed to go on birth control, and I was not comfortable with him getting those hormones through my milk. But biologically speaking, breastmilk is beneficial to the child up to around age 7. So I would not "set" any limit.0 -
I understand exactly what your saying. And if that was the case I find that different. Discreetly breast feeding I dont have the issue with. Breast feeding is amazing for children. It helps them grow, makes them smarter(according to research), and etc etc etc. I get breast feeding I did Breast Feed myself however I dont think women HAVE to do so in public. If junior needs to eat and you know you'll be shopping why not do so before hand??
And if they were so modest and discreet I really dont think there would be anyone against it.
Have you, personally, ever seen a breastfeeding woman with her boobs in public just hanging out all over the place?
I'm 35 years old, have witnessed probably a hundred or more women breastfeeding in public and not once have I actually seen even a millimeter of breast on any one of them.
Yes, I have. More than once.
I'm sorry, but I have to call bull *kitten* on this. You are 10 years my junior, and I am a BF mom who has gone out in groups of other BF moms; I teach a BF class for WIC and have mom groups through WIC, and I have never even seen a mom just "flop it all out" there for all to see...
yeah. I just have to call bull *kitten*. sorry. Most moms are freaking terrified to even try to nurse in public because of moronic views like the ones you've read here... and you're saying that you just see people all over the place whipping them out there.... give me a break.
I've seen it plenty and it always involves a woman making a point that she is going to do whatever she wants, where ever she wants, to whomever she wants and dares you to object. At the expense of her child may I add. You may not agree with me not wanting my child exposed to the site of random breasts but I do have the right and the responsibility to make that judgement. If you can't cover up in public you shouldn't be doing it there. Certainly not on the floor in the middle of a store (firecode violation?). I think that is what the primary objection is to breast feeding in public. If no one knows or notices and no one cares...there is no problem. Go find yourself a quite spot (as animals do in nature), doesn't have to be the bathroom - just a quiet corner, and nourish your child with privacy and dignity.
^^^ This last statement is exactly right!0 -
My 3 children have nursed for between 1.5 & just over 3 years each, and I can't put a specific answer to those questions... I think like most of life, use your discretion. My babies nursed for a long time by our standards, but they never needed to nurse in public past 6 months or so, at the latest. That's the age they generally are more able to eat other foods, and water, not to mention they tend to have more time in between needing to nurse, as well as that they start to be a little more on "schedule" predictably. Though all my babies still nursed at one (generally at bedtime, those kinds of times), I would have had to essentially force them to nurse in order to have to do it at a restaraunt/mall/etc. I don't know any babies who would have needed that at all.If we all agree (for the most part) that its okay to breastfeed in public, what about the age of the child? Does that matter at all or does that cause people to put limits on it or change their mind? I only bring it up because of the news stories of some women still breastfeeding their older kids to the age of like 7 and 8 years old.
http://www.breastfeeding.com/reading_room/eight_years.html
6 months to 1 year okay?
2 year old okay?
5 year old okay?
Where would you set the limits?0 -
I understand exactly what your saying. And if that was the case I find that different. Discreetly breast feeding I dont have the issue with. Breast feeding is amazing for children. It helps them grow, makes them smarter(according to research), and etc etc etc. I get breast feeding I did Breast Feed myself however I dont think women HAVE to do so in public. If junior needs to eat and you know you'll be shopping why not do so before hand??
And if they were so modest and discreet I really dont think there would be anyone against it.
Have you, personally, ever seen a breastfeeding woman with her boobs in public just hanging out all over the place?
I'm 35 years old, have witnessed probably a hundred or more women breastfeeding in public and not once have I actually seen even a millimeter of breast on any one of them.
Yes, I have. More than once.
I'm sorry, but I have to call bull *kitten* on this. You are 10 years my junior, and I am a BF mom who has gone out in groups of other BF moms; I teach a BF class for WIC and have mom groups through WIC, and I have never even seen a mom just "flop it all out" there for all to see...
yeah. I just have to call bull *kitten*. sorry. Most moms are freaking terrified to even try to nurse in public because of moronic views like the ones you've read here... and you're saying that you just see people all over the place whipping them out there.... give me a break.
I've seen it plenty and it always involves a woman making a point that she is going to do whatever she wants, where ever she wants, to whomever she wants and dares you to object. At the expense of her child may I add. You may not agree with me not wanting my child exposed to the site of random breasts but I do have the right and the responsibility to make that judgement. If you can't cover up in public you shouldn't be doing it there. Certainly not on the floor in the middle of a store (firecode violation?). I think that is what the primary objection is to breast feeding in public. If no one knows or notices and no one cares...there is no problem. Go find yourself a quite spot (as animals do in nature), doesn't have to be the bathroom - just a quiet corner, and nourish your child with privacy and dignity.
^^^ This last statement is exactly right!
Might I add that with the growing amount of perverts there are in the world today (among the stories i've heard of women getting approached while breast feeding and having "those kind of comments" made) I dont think breast feeding is wrong but at the age where my daughter leads by example I try to be as modest as possible even in my own home.
*also to add to the animals in nature comment havent you ever noticed that a cow who feeds usually is away from the heard? A cat will hide in a closet? etc etc etc even the animals know that this is a private nature and should be treated as such.0 -
It worries me that you think you have that much control.So, Ryan, I was just thinking -- You have a 9-year-old and you don't want her?? to see breasts?
I was a C-cup at 9 and had my first period at 11. She may not be developing, but some of her friends are. She's seen and known more than you can imagine, unless you don't allow her friends.
My daughter and I talk about what is going to happen to her body. She has seen me in a bra and knows that changes will be happening to her body. We are both female though. The comment was more geared to my son, his father will discuss with him what changes will happen. He does not need to see a female breast for educational purposes at 7 not mine or anyone's for that matter.
I guess my whole point is that I should decide when my daughter or son will be exposed to body parts, not the lady in the store who whips out out for the whole world to see!
Worry away, I am not worried what so ever about my kids and family nor am I worried about how anyone decides to raise their children. I gave my opinion on the subject and to each their own! I'm done explaining how I choose to raise my kids!
I just popped in and have read "this and that" and have no idea whatsoever what your position is on the subject-- however, I agree wholeheartedly. :laugh: :laugh:
Love the bottom line-- "nor am I worried about how anyone decides to raise their children."
Personally-- I love breastfeeding. I have nine children and nursed them all-- some longer than others. (curiously, the two that got the least amount of time at the breast are the ones that have caused us the most trouble-- make of that what you will....)
I was always very self-conscious and quite frankly extremely considerate about breastfeeding in public because I was raised to be modest. I didn't want to make anyone feel uncomfortable, so took great pains to make sure I never let anything "hang out." I have been known to nurse at tables in busy restaurants if I had a crying and hungry infant-- no muss, no fuss. Always covered myself up with a blanket. I kinda thought covering myself up and feeding a hungry baby was more considerate to my fellow patrons than a crying baby... :ohwell:
Never got why the fuss about it from some people-- except to assume that people just like to express their opinions-- as the old saying goes...opinions are like you know what -- everyone has one, and they all stink.0 -
I'm amazed that there are some women admitting that their own kids haven't seen a woman's boob before. What, not even your own? very odd.
No my son has not seen my boob before (I breast fed but no kid ever remembers that)!! That is sick
Why is it "sick?" My kids have seen my boobs on occasion. I'm not all like shaking them in their faces or anything, but they live here and I don't like to shut the bathroom door when I'm here alone with them because I need to be able to hear them. So they've seen stuff. Who cares? They're little.
IMO it is gross, but that is just me! My kids are also a bit older 7 and 9 and I doubt my 7 year old wants to see his moms boob or any other private part. In our family certain body parts are private and they are taught to keep them private!
Doesn't anyone remember that awkward time where they heard their parents in the bedroom?? I do and wish I'd never experienced it.
I just think 7 and 9 is too young to be exposed to that type of thing. I would hope that because of this my daughter will keep her body private and not dress provocatively when she is a teenager. Maybe that is why some girls grow up thinking it is okay to have cleavage showing, they are not taught to keep certain body parts private.
I Think it's sick that you automatically associate boobs with sex. Comparing seeing your mothers breasts to hearing your parents at it is ridiculous, yes peni and vaginas should be kept private, but breasts are completely innocent. It's social conditioning that makes people think of them as rude and sexual, when really there is nothing wrong with them! Breasts are amazing - the ability to breast feed is the unique and amazing ability of all mammals, we get of name from the gland that produces milk (mamory gland). As women we have the ability to give and nurture life with our bodies, why are you so ashamed of this? In other cultures breasts are celebrated in a completely non sexual way. It's YOUR problem that you can only see breasts as a sexual thing, it's particularly sad for a woman to be so ashamed of her breasts.0 -
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Its not about shame its about modesty. (among other things I dont feel like rewriting)0
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Worry away, I am not worried what so ever about my kids and family nor am I worried about how anyone decides to raise their children. I gave my opinion on the subject and to each their own! I'm done explaining how I choose to raise my kids!
I will agree with you on this point. The way I see it, we're screwing up our kids somehow no matter what we do, because nobody's perfect.
We just do the best we can with the information and resources we have available. 0 -
Its not about shame its about modesty. (among other things I dont feel like rewriting)
your own personal interpretation of modesty.0 -
Its not about shame its about modesty. (among other things I dont feel like rewriting)
your own personal interpretation of modesty.
Yes ma'am your correct.
As a society I dont believe women and men have much of it anymore and should consider obtaining it.0 -
The fact that our country is so effed up that a mother feeding a baby is 'controversial' is quite concerning to me.0
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Breasts are considered by men AND women as sexual objects. Why else would so many women pay thousands of dollars to get them enhanced? Why all the fancy bras? Why the modesty and need to cover up?0
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Breasts are considered by men AND women as sexual objects. Why else would so many women pay thousands of dollars to get them enhanced? Why all the fancy bras? Why the modesty and need to cover up?
That's what gets me the most. Boobs are displayed with fancy bras and low cut tops everyday, but when a mother shows the side of her boob to feed a kid? OMG all hell breaks loose.
Maybe if we stopped sending these mixed messages about sex and nudity, we wouldn't have to bother with these types of BS debates. The law in most states is very clear about BFing and state that a mother may breastfeed wherever her and her child are otherwise allowed to be, and without fear of indecency laws coming into play.
Additionally, the people that say the BS crap like 'just cover up with a blanket' or 'go to the bathroom' need a reality check. You try sitting with a blanket covering your head and see how long you last before it gets extremely stuffy and hot. Plus, babies don't like being covered and typically make MORE of a scene trying to squirm and rip the blanket away (and often expose more of the breast doing that). And as far as BFing in the bathroom---ummmmm SICK. Do you want to eat in a bathroom? No? Then STFU about how a baby should.
Honestly, if people don't like someone nursing in public, don't look. Turn away. Simple as that. The chances you have of running across someone doing this are quite slim anyway...I think I've seen it one or twice EVER.0 -
Its not about shame its about modesty. (among other things I dont feel like rewriting)
your own personal interpretation of modesty.
Yes ma'am your correct.
As a society I dont believe women and men have much of it anymore and should consider obtaining it.
but again, it is your interpretation of what constituents modesty. Other people might think they are being perfectly modest according to their lifestyle, yet you would think not.
I personally wouldn't go out with a dress cut low down my cleavage or so short you can see what they had or dinner or post a photo of myself on this website or any other in my underwear, but others think it is ok & that is their prerogative. I don't judge them for it yet one poster has made the statement that it is sick my 4 year old son sees me naked in the privacy of my own home.!
I personally do not find anything immodest or offensive about a woman feeding a child in public & possibly showing a bit of boob whilst doing it yet others do.
Neither view is wrong but there is no need for so much judgment over others choices.0 -
Breasts are considered by men AND women as sexual objects. Why else would so many women pay thousands of dollars to get them enhanced? Why all the fancy bras? Why the modesty and need to cover up?
That's what gets me the most. Boobs are displayed with fancy bras and low cut tops everyday, but when a mother shows the side of her boob to feed a kid? OMG all hell breaks loose.
Precisely! It's oh-so-much healthier for our children to see half-dressed supermodels, pop stars and actresses than a regular woman nourishing her child. :grumble:0
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DuPBbFOiygo
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