breastfeeding in public

taramaureen

feed in the bathroom.......yeah, I'll feed my baby in the bathroom when you feed your toddler in there! When you flush a toilet all kinds of nastiness flies in the air...you want that all over your boobies for your baby to suck in?

NASTY!

Were the hell are you supposed to feed in the bathroom anyway? On an open toilet? Standing up? On the nasty floor? All sounds like great place for a good letdown yeah!

LOL what kind of bathrooms have you ladies been in?! Maybe I'm sheltered but I know of so many nice bathrooms....they look like they could be a resort. I mean I have been to a random few in a walmart but hey dont get me started in walmart.

I get that breast feeding in a public restroom is gross.....but seriously I mean I lot of restrooms I've been in have like a "lobby" like a different area with the mirrors and such.

But if your at target why not hit up the dressing room?

We don't go nice places often LOL. The times I've normally had to breastfeed at a resturant it's like an Applebees or something. We save the nice places for when we don't have children to inturrupt us. Most public bathrooms I've been in are just the bathroom, with stalls, toilets without tops, and a tile floor. Not necessarily nasty but if still you have feces and stuff shooting up in the air from the toilets. If there was a seperate lobby I'd probably utilize it.

I wouldn't have issues hitting up a dressing room if I didn't have another child with me. I just personally find it easier to nurse in a sling because that's normally where my daughter would be anyway. Most people don't realize I'm nursing to being with unless they're litteraly looking down my shirt.

christine24t

As far as I know, my breastmilk has never been recalled:

www.cbsnews.com/8301-504763_162-57349328-10391704/third-baby-gets-rare-bacterial-infection-infant-formula-to-blame/

A woman can also pass on infections or medications that are being taken to her child through breastmilk, so they both have their negatives/downsides as well.

taramaureen

You've missed what several people have said. Not everyone can pump. Not every woman's body responds to a pump because it acts differently than a baby does, and then there are women like me who have an excess of the enzyme lipase in their milk which makes the milk taste soapy after more than a few minutes outside the body. It's gross. My children wouldn't drink it, and I wouldn't blame them.

Breastfeeding is not covered under public nudity laws. Breastfeeding mothers are allowed to nurse in any federal building IN PUBLIC without being asked to leave or cover up. Because it's not the same as just being naked in public. It's feeding a baby.

I haven't missed anything. I'm speaking in general. What I stated was a general fact. I'm not a parent, nor do I keep up with what enzyme's do what, so therefore I did not speak about it. I'm sorry for anyone that has to deal with that, but a pump is honestly the second best things.

I wasn't speaking about legality, public nudity is what it is, nudity in public. Which I also stated is something I wouldn't want to see, lol.

Wow really WE need to work on OUR argument skills? Honey, you haven't made a valid point yet. Breastfeeding in a bathroom is nasty. The stink, the sounds, the germs. Yuck, seriously when I see you eat your big mac in the bathroom I'll happily breastfeed in one. Eeeew....

When you become a parent, good ones normally put their children's needs first. It's just a fact. Although I breastfed for purely selfish reasons: less dishes.

Not everyone can let down enough for a pump. I know I sure couldn't. I pumped while my daughter was in the NICU and that's it. It's a pain in the butt to pump to begin with, not to mention if you feed baby with a bottle while you're out you have to pump to make up for that feeding. That means double the time spent on feeding.

I'm sure glad people like you don't make the laws.

I gave several valid points, I'm sorry you missed them. They were quite on point. I'm not sure what kind of bathrooms you have been in, but ones I have been in have been pretty tolerable. Big Mac? Wow, good one. But yeah, I would have no problem eating in one, but you can't honestly give me this argument and expect me to say anything of the less to it, since I have no problem eating and looking at 'gross' things. I didn't even once say you had to breastfeed in a toilet or toilet area. In my personal opinion, although I don't want to see it at all, I won't mind as long as the person is covered up. So you're barkin' up the wrong tree, I'm not even against it. While I am not a parent, I still feel that one does not need to abandon their needs just because they have children. That is all I meant. I'm also glad people like you don't make the laws either, I guess, just for arguments sake.

Nope, pretty sure your points were BS spouted from someone who has little knowledge on the subject (really... expecting every nursing mother to pump? you've obviously never tried it)

It's been proven that when public toilets flush they spit feces and urine into the air and onto the floor. Not exactly an environment I would want to eat in. If you like poop on your food, be my guest. I'd prefer not to expose my children to that if I can help it. Nor would I personally like to stand in a stall (because, really, how are you supposed to sit on a toilet that has no lid?) and listen to people go about their business.

CMmrsfloyd

The first rule of being a parent is FEED THE BABY. Whenever, wherever. My babies have been breastfed in Target, CVS, Harris Teeter, and various restaurants when needed. I did do my best to try and keep covered, mainly b/c my girls are huge when breastfeeding so it's hard to be discreet otherwise. In fact i had people walk up in target and ask if they could see the 'sleeping baby' and then politely declined when I told them baby isnt sleeping, he's nursing. LOL But I don't begrudge the mom that is just doing her best to meet her baby's needs and isn't in a frame of mind to fidget with a blanket or cover. Some babies just rip the cover off anyway so sometimes it's easier to just try and use the shirt as much as possible and other than that just hope anyone who doesn't want to see a half inch of skin is smart enough to look away. You see a lot more skin on most beaches and underwear commercials. When celebrities have a nip-slip it's an event LOL, so sorry but if mine is visible for 2.5 seconds while I adjust myself and my baby, I apologize but it's natural and I promise I wasn't flashing you on purpose. Many times when a mom is nursing in public you won't even realize it unless you are hyper sensitive to it or just know what you're looking for, normally there isn't an off-duty boob hanging out.

Personally I find babies screaming while parents aren't tending to them to be much more bothersome than a little possible side-boob. LOL

Also, in my state there is a law that officially exempts breast exposure during breastfeeding from being considered indecent exposure.

And finally, I also support a parent's right to formula feed in public. LOL. Seriously, if the baby is hungry, feed the baby however you feed them. The baby is more important than the insecurities or opinions of the random strangers in Target that will never see you again.

Coincidentally I am nursing my little guy right now. And I'm in a public forum. LOL

taramaureen

As far as I know, my breastmilk has never been recalled:

www.cbsnews.com/8301-504763_162-57349328-10391704/third-baby-gets-rare-bacterial-infection-infant-formula-to-blame/

A woman can also pass on infections or medications that are being taken to her child through breastmilk, so they both have their negatives/downsides as well.

A woman would KNOW if she had an infection or was taking medication in most cases, though. As for medications they're normally pretty diluted to the point that it's not going to affect the baby. But last year there were beetle larvae found in formula and parents didn't know until it was too late! I'm pretty sure I'm not going to pass insects on to my child from my breast.

seehawkmomma

feed in the bathroom.......yeah, I'll feed my baby in the bathroom when you feed your toddler in there! When you flush a toilet all kinds of nastiness flies in the air...you want that all over your boobies for your baby to suck in?

NASTY!

Were the hell are you supposed to feed in the bathroom anyway? On an open toilet? Standing up? On the nasty floor? All sounds like great place for a good letdown yeah!

LOL what kind of bathrooms have you ladies been in?! Maybe I'm sheltered but I know of so many nice bathrooms....they look like they could be a resort. I mean I have been to a random few in a walmart but hey dont get me started in walmart.

I get that breast feeding in a public restroom is gross.....but seriously I mean I lot of restrooms I've been in have like a "lobby" like a different area with the mirrors and such.

But if your at target why not hit up the dressing room?

We don't go nice places often LOL. The times I've normally had to breastfeed at a resturant it's like an Applebees or something. We save the nice places for when we don't have children to inturrupt us. Most public bathrooms I've been in are just the bathroom, with stalls, toilets without tops, and a tile floor. Not necessarily nasty but if still you have feces and stuff shooting up in the air from the toilets. If there was a seperate lobby I'd probably utilize it.

I wouldn't have issues hitting up a dressing room if I didn't have another child with me. I just personally find it easier to nurse in a sling because that's normally where my daughter would be anyway. Most people don't realize I'm nursing to being with unless they're litteraly looking down my shirt.

Well okay I see the point of not wanted to breast feed in a restroom.

I have noticed that women who breast feed in public tend to have another child with them.

I get the point of it, totally, i mean when it was me It was just me and my daughter so maybe thats why it was easier to find somewhere private to do so. If i had a toddler or another child tagging along it would be more difficult.

SarabellPlus3

It's been proven that when public toilets flush they spit feces and urine into the air and onto the floor. Not exactly an environment I would want to eat in. If you like poop on your food, be my guest. I'd prefer not to expose my children to that if I can help it. Nor would I personally like to stand in a stall (because, really, how are you supposed to sit on a toilet that has no lid?) and listen to people go about their business.

I agree with you about toilets. What stemmed this wasn't about a restroom, though, it was a mom not wanting to go to a changing room, and instead wanting to sit on the floor in the aisle at Target, nursing. I don't think you should have to hide, but I don't think it does anyone any good to plop down on the floor of Target to nurse. What's the point? Well, the point is to be the catalyst to a media story, that's what.

I guess that's what bothers me about "Lactivism." You want to be able to find a comfortable spot to discreetly nurse? I totally defend that. As a mom of 3, I've done that myself a million times (& I've literally never once had someone look at me crossways, frankly BECAUSE I was discreet). But you want to stop in the middle of Target, sit on the floor, and make sure everyone damn well knows your nursing now? WHY?

Sorry, I didn't BF my babies to make a political statement. And I don't think the FLOOR at Target is so much cleaner than a restroom, so I'm not buying that line, anyway.




To other posters-- as far as thinking it's YOUR place to tell another mom or potential mom that SHE should be BFing (be she a nurse or any other profession on Earth). Wow. Just wow. Who do people think they are? I hope every single parenting choice you ever made was perfect. Because if you so much as fed your baby jarred babyfood instead of always making your own fresh, or you refused to cloth diaper, or you worked, or you didn't, or whatever-- then hey, maybe it's not your place to make another mom's decisions for her. Fo shizzle. I can't believe people have said that.

Marla64

But what about my needs? It is my own choice! I would prefer to be independent and not have to have a baby constantly sucking on my breasts, have medical problems as a result of breastfeeding like uneven breasts, mastitis, plugged ducts, nipple soreness/cracking, time spent pumping, having embarrassing accidents in public like leaking milk, etc. For me, those negatives outweigh the positives. Also, feeding a baby is an important way for a father to bond with the baby as well, and I wouldn't want to deny my husband that opportunity.

Your needs?? Sorry sweetie, but when you become a parent, your needs take a backseat.

Amen-- sheesh. You know, coupla years ago a friend of mine got in trouble on here for saying, "Please don't breed," to someone-- so I wouldn't dream of it. But man-- the selfishness just gets you. "What about my needs?" Gaaah!!

SarabellPlus3

Wow.

I went out with my girlfriends for dinner and drinks tonight, left my baby (& older kids) with my husband. Know why? Because I wanted to. It was a "WANT," not even a "NEED!" What a selfish b** of a mom I must be. LOL

Oh, but I BF for 7 years in a row (over the course of 3 kids). Does that make me good enough in some of your eyes?

Who are you guys to make those decisions for another mom? That is HER choice. NOT YOURS. I'm so sick of the mommy wars. If you want to be a martyr to everything, I guess be my guess, but it's none of your freaking beeswax if someone else decides they don't want to BF.

taramaureen

I agree with you about toilets. What stemmed this wasn't about a restroom, though, it was a mom not wanting to go to a changing room, and instead wanting to sit on the floor in the aisle at Target, nursing. I don't think you should have to hide, but I don't think it does anyone any good to plop down on the floor of Target to nurse. What's the point? Well, the point is to be the catalyst to a media story, that's what.

I guess that's what bothers me about "Lactivism." You want to be able to find a comfortable spot to discreetly nurse? I totally defend that. As a mom of 3, I've done that myself a million times (& I've literally never once had someone look at me crossways, frankly BECAUSE I was discreet). But you want to stop in the middle of Target, sit on the floor, and make sure everyone damn well knows your nursing now? WHY?

Sorry, I didn't BF my babies to make a political statement. And I don't think the FLOOR at Target is so much cleaner than a restroom, so I'm not buying that line, anyway.

I think how a Lactivist thinks is that it should be offered and not forced for a more private area. I'm not one to say where a mother will be most comfortable as comfort is important for let down. Perhaps the mother declined to move because her child was already latched on? The story says she was also covered with a blanket and then harrassed after she chose not to go into the dressing room. I'm not sure of her reasons and I personally wouldn't sit on a floor to nurse but if someone chose to do so it's their perogative and is protected by law. No one should harass someone for feeding their kid covered or not.

Dave198lbs

But what about my needs? It is my own choice! I would prefer to be independent and not have to have a baby constantly sucking on my breasts, have medical problems as a result of breastfeeding like uneven breasts, mastitis, plugged ducts, nipple soreness/cracking, time spent pumping, having embarrassing accidents in public like leaking milk, etc. For me, those negatives outweigh the positives. Also, feeding a baby is an important way for a father to bond with the baby as well, and I wouldn't want to deny my husband that opportunity.

Your needs?? Sorry sweetie, but when you become a parent, your needs take a backseat.

Amen-- sheesh. You know, coupla years ago a friend of mine got in trouble on here for saying, "Please don't breed," to someone-- so I wouldn't dream of it. But man-- the selfishness just gets you. "What about my needs?" Gaaah!!

the old days, eh

christine24t

But what about my needs? It is my own choice! I would prefer to be independent and not have to have a baby constantly sucking on my breasts, have medical problems as a result of breastfeeding like uneven breasts, mastitis, plugged ducts, nipple soreness/cracking, time spent pumping, having embarrassing accidents in public like leaking milk, etc. For me, those negatives outweigh the positives. Also, feeding a baby is an important way for a father to bond with the baby as well, and I wouldn't want to deny my husband that opportunity.

Your needs?? Sorry sweetie, but when you become a parent, your needs take a backseat.

Amen-- sheesh. You know, coupla years ago a friend of mine got in trouble on here for saying, "Please don't breed," to someone-- so I wouldn't dream of it. But man-- the selfishness just gets you. "What about my needs?" Gaaah!!

So people with kids should just give up their lives entirely and never pay attention to what they need? What if breastfeeding doesn't work for me? I need to be happy to be a good mother, and if NOT breastfeeding makes me happy, then so be it! I don't get why not breastfeeding is a huge deal. It is my choice.

Let me say this about the selfishness piece - when I was kid, my sister and I NEVER watched movies like "The Lion King" or "The Little Mermaid." Why? My mom told me plain and simple, "I didn't care to watch those movies so I didn't have you watch them." Because she didn't have to sit and watch movies she didn't want to watch, or breastfed even though she didn't want to, she was a better mother because she focused on her needs and wants, which made her focus on ours more attentively.

Happy mom = happy kids! as seehawkmomma said earlier. So true.

To other posters-- as far as thinking it's YOUR place to tell another mom or potential mom that SHE should be BFing (be she a nurse or any other profession on Earth). Wow. Just wow. Who do people think they are? I hope every single parenting choice you ever made was perfect. Because if you so much as fed your baby jarred babyfood instead of always making your own fresh, or you refused to cloth diaper, or you worked, or you didn't, or whatever-- then hey, maybe it's not your place to make another mom's decisions for her. Fo shizzle. I can't believe people have said that.

Wow.

I went out with my girlfriends for dinner and drinks tonight, left my baby (& older kids) with my husband. Know why? Because I wanted to. It was a "WANT," not even a "NEED!" What a selfish b** of a mom I must be. LOL

Oh, but I BF for 7 years in a row (over the course of 3 kids). Does that make me good enough in some of your eyes?

Who are you guys to make those decisions for another mom? That is HER choice. NOT YOURS. I'm so sick of the mommy wars. If you want to be a martyr to everything, I guess be my guess, but it's none of your freaking beeswax if someone else decides they don't want to BF.

I guess wanting to do anything for yourself makes you selfish.

taramaureen

Well okay I see the point of not wanted to breast feed in a restroom.

I have noticed that women who breast feed in public tend to have another child with them.

I get the point of it, totally, i mean when it was me It was just me and my daughter so maybe thats why it was easier to find somewhere private to do so. If i had a toddler or another child tagging along it would be more difficult.

Yeah it's a lot easier to find a private quiet place when you don't have a second child. My first was easier... I rarely went out, would go out of my way to find a quiet place because I was new to the whole thing, etc. With my second I had a 3 year old running around who would NOT want to be hid in a dressing room while his sister ate. So sling nursing became the thing and I was a lot stressed out about the whole thing as well. Baby ate, I got what I needed to be done done, and my other hellion didn't have to sit still hid away for 20 mins.

SarabellPlus3

I guess wanting to do anything for yourself makes you selfish.

I am sooooooo selfish, then. LOL But my 3 girls are happy, smart, growing well, no complaints. So I think I'll continue not being a martyr, because my goal is good kids, not impressing self-righteous strangers on the internet.

veganbaum

I agree with you about toilets. What stemmed this wasn't about a restroom, though, it was a mom not wanting to go to a changing room, and instead wanting to sit on the floor in the aisle at Target, nursing. I don't think you should have to hide, but I don't think it does anyone any good to plop down on the floor of Target to nurse. What's the point? Well, the point is to be the catalyst to a media story, that's what.

I guess that's what bothers me about "Lactivism." You want to be able to find a comfortable spot to discreetly nurse? I totally defend that. As a mom of 3, I've done that myself a million times (& I've literally never once had someone look at me crossways, frankly BECAUSE I was discreet). But you want to stop in the middle of Target, sit on the floor, and make sure everyone damn well knows your nursing now? WHY?

Sorry, I didn't BF my babies to make a political statement. And I don't think the FLOOR at Target is so much cleaner than a restroom, so I'm not buying that line, anyway.

I think how a Lactivist thinks is that it should be offered and not forced for a more private area. I'm not one to say where a mother will be most comfortable as comfort is important for let down. Perhaps the mother declined to move because her child was already latched on? The story says she was also covered with a blanket and then harrassed after she chose not to go into the dressing room. I'm not sure of her reasons and I personally wouldn't sit on a floor to nurse but if someone chose to do so it's their perogative and is protected by law. No one should harass someone for feeding their kid covered or not.

I think you hit the nail on the head. I don't think a person should sit down in an aisle for safety reasons and it's unfortunate the mother chose such a spot, but while it might be nice to be offered a private area, a woman shouldn't be forced to go to such an area. If it wasn't for "lactivists" protecting the right to breastfeed in public, some places might try to relegate breastfeeding women to a separate confined area when it can be done without most people noticing in most situations.

kmtetour

I understand exactly what your saying. And if that was the case I find that different. Discreetly breast feeding I dont have the issue with. Breast feeding is amazing for children. It helps them grow, makes them smarter(according to research), and etc etc etc. I get breast feeding I did Breast Feed myself however I dont think women HAVE to do so in public. If junior needs to eat and you know you'll be shopping why not do so before hand??

And if they were so modest and discreet I really dont think there would be anyone against it.

Have you, personally, ever seen a breastfeeding woman with her boobs in public just hanging out all over the place?

I'm 35 years old, have witnessed probably a hundred or more women breastfeeding in public and not once have I actually seen even a millimeter of breast on any one of them.

Yes, I have. More than once.

I'm sorry, but I have to call bull *kitten* on this. You are 10 years my junior, and I am a BF mom who has gone out in groups of other BF moms; I teach a BF class for WIC and have mom groups through WIC, and I have never even seen a mom just "flop it all out" there for all to see...

yeah. I just have to call bull *kitten*. sorry. Most moms are freaking terrified to even try to nurse in public because of moronic views like the ones you've read here... and you're saying that you just see people all over the place whipping them out there.... give me a break.

I've totally seen full boob in public from a nursing mother. I was about 5 or 6 years old and I'm pretty sure it was the ONLY time I've seen a woman feed in public (though I know my mom did it). I'm not against feeding in public, but I have very strong memories of being surprised by this woman whipping out her boob to feed a child that was about 2, which is older than average for breast feeding. It was very shocking, though I don't think it ruined me for anything.

SarabellPlus3

I agree with you about toilets. What stemmed this wasn't about a restroom, though, it was a mom not wanting to go to a changing room, and instead wanting to sit on the floor in the aisle at Target, nursing. I don't think you should have to hide, but I don't think it does anyone any good to plop down on the floor of Target to nurse. What's the point? Well, the point is to be the catalyst to a media story, that's what.

I guess that's what bothers me about "Lactivism." You want to be able to find a comfortable spot to discreetly nurse? I totally defend that. As a mom of 3, I've done that myself a million times (& I've literally never once had someone look at me crossways, frankly BECAUSE I was discreet). But you want to stop in the middle of Target, sit on the floor, and make sure everyone damn well knows your nursing now? WHY?

Sorry, I didn't BF my babies to make a political statement. And I don't think the FLOOR at Target is so much cleaner than a restroom, so I'm not buying that line, anyway.

I think how a Lactivist thinks is that it should be offered and not forced for a more private area. I'm not one to say where a mother will be most comfortable as comfort is important for let down. Perhaps the mother declined to move because her child was already latched on? The story says she was also covered with a blanket and then harrassed after she chose not to go into the dressing room. I'm not sure of her reasons and I personally wouldn't sit on a floor to nurse but if someone chose to do so it's their perogative and is protected by law. No one should harass someone for feeding their kid covered or not.

I think you hit the nail on the head. I don't think a person should sit down in an aisle for safety reasons and it's unfortunate the mother chose such a spot, ........

If she wasn't on the floor in a Target, I'd really agree with you guys. I mean, I'm shopping for clothes, and you're sitting on the floor there in the section? How can that be appropriate? I would never have said anything to the mother, but believe me, I would be confused, at best.
Also, just... you can't tell me that a bathroom is too dirty, so you need to be on the floor.


Maybe it's because I have BF in public approximately 800 times, in restaraunts, malls, zoos and the like all over the midwest, and no one has ever said anything but "oh, so sweet!" to me... And the women I've known who have people take issue with them are the ones who do things like sit on the floor in a Target, essentially daring someone to make it a news story.

veganbaum

I agree with you about toilets. What stemmed this wasn't about a restroom, though, it was a mom not wanting to go to a changing room, and instead wanting to sit on the floor in the aisle at Target, nursing. I don't think you should have to hide, but I don't think it does anyone any good to plop down on the floor of Target to nurse. What's the point? Well, the point is to be the catalyst to a media story, that's what.

I guess that's what bothers me about "Lactivism." You want to be able to find a comfortable spot to discreetly nurse? I totally defend that. As a mom of 3, I've done that myself a million times (& I've literally never once had someone look at me crossways, frankly BECAUSE I was discreet). But you want to stop in the middle of Target, sit on the floor, and make sure everyone damn well knows your nursing now? WHY?

Sorry, I didn't BF my babies to make a political statement. And I don't think the FLOOR at Target is so much cleaner than a restroom, so I'm not buying that line, anyway.

I think how a Lactivist thinks is that it should be offered and not forced for a more private area. I'm not one to say where a mother will be most comfortable as comfort is important for let down. Perhaps the mother declined to move because her child was already latched on? The story says she was also covered with a blanket and then harrassed after she chose not to go into the dressing room. I'm not sure of her reasons and I personally wouldn't sit on a floor to nurse but if someone chose to do so it's their perogative and is protected by law. No one should harass someone for feeding their kid covered or not.

I think you hit the nail on the head. I don't think a person should sit down in an aisle for safety reasons and it's unfortunate the mother chose such a spot, ........

If she wasn't on the floor in a Target, I'd really agree with you guys. I mean, I'm shopping for clothes, and you're sitting on the floor there in the section? How can that be appropriate? I would never have said anything to the mother, but believe me, I would be confused, at best.
Also, just... you can't tell me that a bathroom is too dirty, so you need to be on the floor.


Maybe it's because I have BF in public approximately 800 times, in restaraunts, malls, zoos and the like all over the midwest, and no one has ever said anything but "oh, so sweet!" to me... And the women I've known who have people take issue with them are the ones who do things like sit on the floor in a Target, essentially daring someone to make it a news story.

These types of things have to be handled delicately. If a woman wants to show a little more than is necessary, yeah, probably looking to make a point, but most women don't do that and if there's some flash of nipple because the baby gets distracted and moves its head away or something (or as was mentioned if a mom is at the beach and wearing only a bathing suit - situations like that), people really need to get over it. The small number who might make a scene shouldn't be public breastfeeding opponents' focus, but they always will be. And in a situation like this, an employee isn't always going to say the right thing, just not possible, but had the mom been asked to move because it's an issue of safety, she really couldn't have made a logical argument to that. Asking her to go to a dressing room is violating the law and opening the door for such protests.

christine24t

I agree with you about toilets. What stemmed this wasn't about a restroom, though, it was a mom not wanting to go to a changing room, and instead wanting to sit on the floor in the aisle at Target, nursing. I don't think you should have to hide, but I don't think it does anyone any good to plop down on the floor of Target to nurse. What's the point? Well, the point is to be the catalyst to a media story, that's what.

I guess that's what bothers me about "Lactivism." You want to be able to find a comfortable spot to discreetly nurse? I totally defend that. As a mom of 3, I've done that myself a million times (& I've literally never once had someone look at me crossways, frankly BECAUSE I was discreet). But you want to stop in the middle of Target, sit on the floor, and make sure everyone damn well knows your nursing now? WHY?

Sorry, I didn't BF my babies to make a political statement. And I don't think the FLOOR at Target is so much cleaner than a restroom, so I'm not buying that line, anyway.

I think how a Lactivist thinks is that it should be offered and not forced for a more private area. I'm not one to say where a mother will be most comfortable as comfort is important for let down. Perhaps the mother declined to move because her child was already latched on? The story says she was also covered with a blanket and then harrassed after she chose not to go into the dressing room. I'm not sure of her reasons and I personally wouldn't sit on a floor to nurse but if someone chose to do so it's their perogative and is protected by law. No one should harass someone for feeding their kid covered or not.

I think you hit the nail on the head. I don't think a person should sit down in an aisle for safety reasons and it's unfortunate the mother chose such a spot, ........

If she wasn't on the floor in a Target, I'd really agree with you guys. I mean, I'm shopping for clothes, and you're sitting on the floor there in the section? How can that be appropriate? I would never have said anything to the mother, but believe me, I would be confused, at best.
Also, just... you can't tell me that a bathroom is too dirty, so you need to be on the floor.


Maybe it's because I have BF in public approximately 800 times, in restaraunts, malls, zoos and the like all over the midwest, and no one has ever said anything but "oh, so sweet!" to me... And the women I've known who have people take issue with them are the ones who do things like sit on the floor in a Target, essentially daring someone to make it a news story.

These types of things have to be handled delicately. If a woman wants to show a little more than is necessary, yeah, probably looking to make a point, but most women don't do that and if there's some flash of nipple because the baby gets distracted and moves its head away or something (or as was mentioned if a mom is at the beach and wearing only a bathing suit - situations like that), people really need to get over it. The small number who might make a scene shouldn't be public breastfeeding opponents' focus, but they always will be. And in a situation like this, an employee isn't always going to say the right thing, just not possible, but had the mom been asked to move because it's an issue of safety, she really couldn't have made a logical argument to that. Asking her to go to a dressing room is violating the law and opening the door for such protests.

Wouldn't it be more comfortable for the woman to breastfeed in private, where she get close with the baby? Instead of in front of people? That's my whole thing about this. Isn't it more comfortable for everyone to do it in private?
If I breastfed, which I don't and won't, and I was doing it somewhere in the store, and a cashier came up to me and said, "would you like to move to our break room/our breastfeeding room/our family bathroom/a private office" I would definitely take the offer. I'm sure no breastfeeding mother likes to do it in public, but it is their only choice, so if you were offered a private place, why wouldn't you take the person up on the offer? Instead everyone gets offended. The store is doing it for your comfort, and the comfort of others.

meshellmybell76

Mama_CAEI

I guess wanting to do anything for yourself makes you selfish.

I am sooooooo selfish, then. LOL But my 3 girls are happy, smart, growing well, no complaints. So I think I'll continue not being a martyr, because my goal is good kids, not impressing self-righteous strangers on the internet.

I never said anyone had to be a martyr. Hell, I'm certainly not one myself. I've got 4 kids, all of whom I chose to breastfeed, exclusively and for longer than the average, but I never sat around saying "Woe is me, I can't go out tonight because my children are tying me down." There are ways to work around it, obviously. However, in the grand scheme of things, breastfeeding your baby is such a short time in their life (especially with the rates you have in the States) that a woman should see it as something she is doing FOR her child, not because she HAS to.
When you have kids, their needs and wants should be met first, especially in the newborn/infant stage. They don't understand delayed gratification. Geez, my 8 year old still doesn't understand delayed gratification. But as an adult, you should be able to say, "Gee, I guess I'll do that later because my baby needs me now."

veganbaum

I agree with you about toilets. What stemmed this wasn't about a restroom, though, it was a mom not wanting to go to a changing room, and instead wanting to sit on the floor in the aisle at Target, nursing. I don't think you should have to hide, but I don't think it does anyone any good to plop down on the floor of Target to nurse. What's the point? Well, the point is to be the catalyst to a media story, that's what.

I guess that's what bothers me about "Lactivism." You want to be able to find a comfortable spot to discreetly nurse? I totally defend that. As a mom of 3, I've done that myself a million times (& I've literally never once had someone look at me crossways, frankly BECAUSE I was discreet). But you want to stop in the middle of Target, sit on the floor, and make sure everyone damn well knows your nursing now? WHY?

Sorry, I didn't BF my babies to make a political statement. And I don't think the FLOOR at Target is so much cleaner than a restroom, so I'm not buying that line, anyway.

I think how a Lactivist thinks is that it should be offered and not forced for a more private area. I'm not one to say where a mother will be most comfortable as comfort is important for let down. Perhaps the mother declined to move because her child was already latched on? The story says she was also covered with a blanket and then harrassed after she chose not to go into the dressing room. I'm not sure of her reasons and I personally wouldn't sit on a floor to nurse but if someone chose to do so it's their perogative and is protected by law. No one should harass someone for feeding their kid covered or not.

I think you hit the nail on the head. I don't think a person should sit down in an aisle for safety reasons and it's unfortunate the mother chose such a spot, ........

If she wasn't on the floor in a Target, I'd really agree with you guys. I mean, I'm shopping for clothes, and you're sitting on the floor there in the section? How can that be appropriate? I would never have said anything to the mother, but believe me, I would be confused, at best.
Also, just... you can't tell me that a bathroom is too dirty, so you need to be on the floor.


Maybe it's because I have BF in public approximately 800 times, in restaraunts, malls, zoos and the like all over the midwest, and no one has ever said anything but "oh, so sweet!" to me... And the women I've known who have people take issue with them are the ones who do things like sit on the floor in a Target, essentially daring someone to make it a news story.

These types of things have to be handled delicately. If a woman wants to show a little more than is necessary, yeah, probably looking to make a point, but most women don't do that and if there's some flash of nipple because the baby gets distracted and moves its head away or something (or as was mentioned if a mom is at the beach and wearing only a bathing suit - situations like that), people really need to get over it. The small number who might make a scene shouldn't be public breastfeeding opponents' focus, but they always will be. And in a situation like this, an employee isn't always going to say the right thing, just not possible, but had the mom been asked to move because it's an issue of safety, she really couldn't have made a logical argument to that. Asking her to go to a dressing room is violating the law and opening the door for such protests.

Wouldn't it be more comfortable for the woman to breastfeed in private, where she get close with the baby? Instead of in front of people? That's my whole thing about this. Isn't it more comfortable for everyone to do it in private?

No. For one thing, as has been said over and over in this thread, if you are out with your baby it is not always possible to find a private place even if you wanted one and a mom shouldn't have to be a shut-in. And second, lots and lots, and lots and lots, of people aren't bothered by public breastfeeding. So it's absolutely not more comfortable for everyone, only for some who have issues being the nursing moms in public because they are embarrassed/feel it is a private "function" that they don't want others to see or for those who attach weird attitudes to seeing a woman breastfeed. It is simply not more comfortable for everyone. And how does being in public keep you from being close with your baby?

apriltrainer

I breast fed my first son till he was...2. I usually tried to keep myself covered. I've never been one to let it all hang out...no matter how natural. Although one time I was on the train with my son. I had one of those tanktops you could unclasp. Well, I wasn't paying attention and my stop came up. I grabbed diaper bag, ran with baby to the door and forgot that my boob was hanging out.

I flashed everyone on the train.

Darn. Noone even gave me some dollar bills for the free show!

KatieCuth

I agree with you about toilets. What stemmed this wasn't about a restroom, though, it was a mom not wanting to go to a changing room, and instead wanting to sit on the floor in the aisle at Target, nursing. I don't think you should have to hide, but I don't think it does anyone any good to plop down on the floor of Target to nurse. What's the point? Well, the point is to be the catalyst to a media story, that's what.

I guess that's what bothers me about "Lactivism." You want to be able to find a comfortable spot to discreetly nurse? I totally defend that. As a mom of 3, I've done that myself a million times (& I've literally never once had someone look at me crossways, frankly BECAUSE I was discreet). But you want to stop in the middle of Target, sit on the floor, and make sure everyone damn well knows your nursing now? WHY?

Sorry, I didn't BF my babies to make a political statement. And I don't think the FLOOR at Target is so much cleaner than a restroom, so I'm not buying that line, anyway.

I think how a Lactivist thinks is that it should be offered and not forced for a more private area. I'm not one to say where a mother will be most comfortable as comfort is important for let down. Perhaps the mother declined to move because her child was already latched on? The story says she was also covered with a blanket and then harrassed after she chose not to go into the dressing room. I'm not sure of her reasons and I personally wouldn't sit on a floor to nurse but if someone chose to do so it's their perogative and is protected by law. No one should harass someone for feeding their kid covered or not.

I think you hit the nail on the head. I don't think a person should sit down in an aisle for safety reasons and it's unfortunate the mother chose such a spot, ........

If she wasn't on the floor in a Target, I'd really agree with you guys. I mean, I'm shopping for clothes, and you're sitting on the floor there in the section? How can that be appropriate? I would never have said anything to the mother, but believe me, I would be confused, at best.
Also, just... you can't tell me that a bathroom is too dirty, so you need to be on the floor.


Maybe it's because I have BF in public approximately 800 times, in restaraunts, malls, zoos and the like all over the midwest, and no one has ever said anything but "oh, so sweet!" to me... And the women I've known who have people take issue with them are the ones who do things like sit on the floor in a Target, essentially daring someone to make it a news story.

These types of things have to be handled delicately. If a woman wants to show a little more than is necessary, yeah, probably looking to make a point, but most women don't do that and if there's some flash of nipple because the baby gets distracted and moves its head away or something (or as was mentioned if a mom is at the beach and wearing only a bathing suit - situations like that), people really need to get over it. The small number who might make a scene shouldn't be public breastfeeding opponents' focus, but they always will be. And in a situation like this, an employee isn't always going to say the right thing, just not possible, but had the mom been asked to move because it's an issue of safety, she really couldn't have made a logical argument to that. Asking her to go to a dressing room is violating the law and opening the door for such protests.

Wouldn't it be more comfortable for the woman to breastfeed in private, where she get close with the baby? Instead of in front of people? That's my whole thing about this. Isn't it more comfortable for everyone to do it in private?
If I breastfed, which I don't and won't, and I was doing it somewhere in the store, and a cashier came up to me and said, "would you like to move to our break room/our breastfeeding room/our family bathroom/a private office" I would definitely take the offer. I'm sure no breastfeeding mother likes to do it in public, but it is their only choice, so if you were offered a private place, why wouldn't you take the person up on the offer? Instead everyone gets offended. The store is doing it for your comfort, and the comfort of others.

OMG every body gets offended, only narrow minded people get offended. We get your not going to breast feed horray for you....

veganbaum

Wouldn't it be more comfortable for the woman to breastfeed in private, where she get close with the baby? Instead of in front of people? That's my whole thing about this. Isn't it more comfortable for everyone to do it in private?
If I breastfed, which I don't and won't, and I was doing it somewhere in the store, and a cashier came up to me and said, "would you like to move to our break room/our breastfeeding room/our family bathroom/a private office" I would definitely take the offer. I'm sure no breastfeeding mother likes to do it in public, but it is their only choice, so if you were offered a private place, why wouldn't you take the person up on the offer? Instead everyone gets offended. The store is doing it for your comfort, and the comfort of others.

I really think you are imposing your own feeling on others. Plenty of women have attested to the fact that they can breastfeed in public without it being a big deal. For instance, the baby's in a sling and nursing while mom continues to shop with her other child; or the mom who posted a pick of her breastfeeding at a sports stadium. If it's part of the routine, why make such a big deal of it? If you want extra special skin-to-skin bonding time with baby, that can be done at home, if you're out in public and can feed your baby without making it a bigger deal than it needs to be, then why wouldn't you?

CharityEaton

the only reason I could think of for her NOT to go to a private area would be to cause a scene. A brand new mom is certainly not going to turn down privacy...a mom who has breastfed a million times MIGHT turn down privacy if she was concened about disturbing the baby by having to move BUT a mom that has breastfed a million times is also a pro at doing things quickly OR in a manner in which not to disturb the baby!
It's called the football hold as you run around chasing a toddler while still feeding and it can be done pretty un-noticeably if so desired!
In this case too many women have ruined public breastfeeding for the average woman that does it tactfully.
It is sad that manners just really don't matter to some people.

meshellmybell76

Following the logic that a breast is a "private", "sexual" body part I find it offensive and downright creepy to see people openly feeding babies in public out of a fake breast (bottle). I have never seen an exposed nipple when I have encountered public breastfeeding, however, people display these plastic boob replicas with reckless abandon! This breastfeeding Mom feels uncomfortable being exposed to this "dirty", private apparatus! Please be discreet and throw a blanket over your kid suckling these fake breasts, or better yet, hide in shame in a bathroom stall. Thank You!

christine24t

No. For one thing, as has been said over and over in this thread, if you are out with your baby it is not always possible to find a private place even if you wanted one and a mom shouldn't have to be a shut-in. And second, lots and lots, and lots and lots, of people aren't bothered by public breastfeeding. So it's absolutely not more comfortable for everyone, only for some who have issues being the nursing moms in public because they are embarrassed/feel it is a private "function" that they don't want others to see or for those who attach weird attitudes to seeing a woman breastfeed. It is simply not more comfortable for everyone. And how does being in public keep you from being close with your baby?

So you have NO preference as to public or private breastfeeding? For some reason, I doubt that. And leaving a social situation for twenty minutes does not make you a shut-in or a recluse. I leave social situations for while to talk on the phone, fix my hair or makeup, talk privately with a friend, go to the bathroom, etc, and I don't miss much.
And by getting close I mean in a quiet situation, instead of a store where there is a lot of hustle-and-bustle. If mothers breastfeed because it's so "beautiful" why are they doing it in the middle of a store?

OMG every body gets offended, only narrow minded people get offended. We get your not going to breast feed horray for you....

The reason I keep reiterating this is because not every goes back and reads EVERY post on this page. So for those who don't watch so closely, I just repeat my general points I'm terribly sorry if you don't agree with my points of view or how often I repeat them.

veganbaum

I gotta say (just in response to this whole thread), I can start to understand some of the "lactivists'" positions more and more. The more extreme ones have probably been pushed by people around them that have been really negative about public breastfeeding. I am filled with a desire to go to cities in the U.S. where it is legal for a woman to go topless and do it, just to see what happens. No wonder Europeans shake their heads at our silly paradoxical culture.

Bahet

the only reason I could think of for her NOT to go to a private area would be to cause a scene. A brand new mom is certainly not going to turn down privacy...a mom who has breastfed a million times MIGHT turn down privacy if she was concened about disturbing the baby by having to move BUT a mom that has breastfed a million times is also a pro at doing things quickly OR in a manner in which not to disturb the baby!
It's called the football hold as you run around chasing a toddler while still feeding and it can be done pretty un-noticeably if so desired!
In this case too many women have ruined public breastfeeding for the average woman that does it tactfully.
It is sad that manners just really don't matter to some people.

I think some people just have different definitions of "manners". I've seen a woman in a water park nursing her baby outside the pool while her other kids were playing in the water. I also overheard someone walk past and say to someone else "Someone should tell her to go to the locker room to do that." Why? Then she'd have to take her other kids out of the water park and make them sit in the locker room too which, of course, would upset someone as one of her kids was about a 6yo boy.

Incidentally, the woman complaining about the mother was wearing a thong bathing suit. Oh the irony!!

It's pretty easy to up and move to a private location if you have no other kids and nothing in your cart that needs to be refridgerated or frozen nd have plenty of time. But throw in another child or 2, a schedule where you are running behind, and a cart with ice cream and milk in it and I'd be nursing while shopping and anyone who thought it was bad manners could just go look in a mirror. It's bad manners to stare. It's bad manners to look scornfully at someone. It's bad manners to not give somone the benefit of the doubt that maybe they don't really have another option.