breastfeeding in public
Replies
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BS! There is nothing harmful or narrow minded about her point of view. Especially considering that she appears to be miles more open minded to differing views than you are. How many times must she state that she is not against breast feeding and supports before her overall view is deemed acceptable? Not once has the OP told anyone they were wrong for their opinion on this topic, but the OP has been repeatedly slammed, insulted, and told to not become a mother. Simply because her choices are different. What is truly harmful is the intolerance shown to those with differing/unpopular opinions.
Thank you for this!Okay let me ask you a question... what is it that makes you feel uncomfortable when a mother is breastfeeding her child in public? How many times have you see it?
I've seen it a couple of times myself. What makes me uncomfortable is that to me, feeding a child from your breast, which is a private part of your body, should not be a public act. I don't get why it is so hard to go and find a private room to do it in, or pump (if you can) and bring it with you to the store instead of lifting your shirt and having to have the baby latch on and be exposed like that.
Because private rooms SUCK... it is where mothers also change there babies nappies. Frankly for my SAKE I dont want to sit in there. I would rather be in a cafe and be comfortable feeding my child and not feel like its a chore. If i was at a social gathering at someones house obviously I would move myself away from the group and sit in the lounge etc.
Most women wear tops that are move revealing I know that point has being made, an experienced breast feeding mother can have the baby latch on within seconds.0 -
Breast feeding, public or not, is natural. Sometimes awkward, but hey, when baby is hungry, would you rather have screaming baby or happy baby? Imagine how you would feel if you weren't allowed to eat in public!
And also how uncomfortable they would feel while sitting in a cafe drinking coffee while the baby is screaming. A screaming child now that is uncomfortable.
Admittedly, I don't get all warm and fuzzy seeing a woman breastfeed in public. But I'm much more comfortable tolerating an annoyed infant than I am an older child screaming and causing chaos in public. I'm appalled that so many parents today allow their children to behave so unruly. But that's another topic for another thread.0 -
Breast feeding, public or not, is natural. Sometimes awkward, but hey, when baby is hungry, would you rather have screaming baby or happy baby? Imagine how you would feel if you weren't allowed to eat in public!
And also how uncomfortable they would feel while sitting in a cafe drinking coffee while the baby is screaming. A screaming child now that is uncomfortable.
Admittedly, I don't get all warm and fuzzy seeing a woman breastfeed in public. But I'm much more comfortable tolerating an annoyed infant than I am an older child screaming and causing chaos in public. I'm appalled that so many parents today allow their children to behave so unruly. But that's another topic for another thread.
Ha so true, unruly children, YUCK maybe I just struck lucky with mine she has never caused a public scene EVER....0 -
The good thing about all this is that, no matter what other people's OPINIONS are on this matter, the vast majority of states have laws in place that supercede all of them. Almost all states allow a mother to BF wherever they and children are otherwise allowed to be. Period.
Laws can change, especially when something is divisive. But yes, at least for now all those who are offended by it luckily can't enforce their feelings.
I don't think it will ever become unlawful. There is just a huge part of the population you would lose if you were a politician who supported it. I'm acknowledging that the majority of people don't feel how I do. I just wish that the people who do BF in public might consider others' feelings before engaging in the act.
It wouldn't likely become unlawful in many places, but I believe the laws are state laws, which means it just takes a motivated opposing voting force. But, I edited my post to also point out that laws do not remove social stigmas, and there are still social stigmas attached to breastfeeding, so the fact that there's a law is great, but breastfeeding mothers can still be made to feel very uncomfortable when exercising their legally protected right. I also find your choice of words interesting - "engaging in the act" - like it's dirty. And you've stated you're comfortable with bodies in a clinical sense, but clearly not outside a clinical environment, even though we're not talking about sexuality here but nourishing a baby. I just don't get it.0 -
My goodness, everyone will raise their family how they want!!!
Agree to disagree and leave it alone!!
Breastfeeders go on and feed and just try to cover up!!!
Some people just don't want to see a strangers breast while eating at Applebees!!0 -
And some people want to feed there child while having a applebees. The End...0
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Just know that 90% of the rest of the world thinks you Americans are crazy for even having this debate. :flowerforyou:0
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My intake on breastfeeding is that I am perfectly fine with a women breastfeeding in public, but like many have said I prefer her cover up because a) the child I believe needs its privacy as well as the mom and b) its only fair. Not everyone wants to see a womens breast whether it be breast feeding or hanging out of a low cut shirt. You can "exercise your right" to breastfeed your baby without making someone feel uncomfortable.
For me though, when I do have children I choose to not breastfeed my baby. It's my choice just as it is yours to breastfeed. That wouldn't make me a bad mom because I choose to formula feed. Sure breast milk has the best nutrients for a baby, I agree with that, but formula milk has great nutrients to and if it didn't they wouldn't sale it.
Why, you ask? Its just not for me. I wouldn't feel comfortable doing so. To each their own. But when I get to that point in my life where I am married and having children, I will go into the whole thing with an open mind. I won't shut out completely Breastfeeding because who knows how I will feel once I hold my baby in my hands for the first time maybe I may want to breastfeed
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Okay let me ask you a question... what is it that makes you feel uncomfortable when a mother is breastfeeding her child in public? How many times have you see it?
As other posters have said, I pretty much view it as an act that doesn't have to be shared with the rest of the world. I've seen more than few women breastfeed in public. Some were discreet. Some, not so much. The one incident that is forever burned into my mind was a lady feeding her baby in the middle of the mall. I was probably 16 at the time. There was nothing discreet about it - NOTHING! Chalk it up to teenage immaturity, but I was grossed out by the whole thing. On the other hand, I have no doubt that I've been in presence of the women breast feeding while in public and had absolutely no clue about what was going on. I can't be offended or even have a mild reaction to something I don't know is happening. But whenever I am aware, my mind flashes back to that traumatic experience as a teenager.0 -
Just know that 90% of the rest of the world thinks you Americans are crazy for even having this debate. :flowerforyou:
As Americans, we could care less what the rest of the world thinks of us.
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Okay let me ask you a question... what is it that makes you feel uncomfortable when a mother is breastfeeding her child in public? How many times have you see it?
As other posters have said, I pretty much view it as an act that doesn't have to be shared with the rest of the world. I've seen more than few women breastfeed in public. Some were discreet. Some, not so much. The one incident that is forever burned into my mind was a lady feeding her baby in the middle of the mall. I was probably 16 at the time. There was nothing discreet about it - NOTHING! Chalk it up to teenage immaturity, but I was grossed out by the whole thing. On the other hand, I have no doubt that I've been in presence of the women breast feeding while in public and had absolutely no clue about what was going on. I can't be offended or even have a mild reaction to something I don't know is happening. But whenever I am aware, my mind flashes back to that traumatic experience as a teenager.
THIS!^^^
chalk it up to ignorance, but breastfeeding in public makes me extremely uncomfortable.0 -
Okay let me ask you a question... what is it that makes you feel uncomfortable when a mother is breastfeeding her child in public? How many times have you see it?
As other posters have said, I pretty much view it as an act that doesn't have to be shared with the rest of the world. I've seen more than few women breastfeed in public. Some were discreet. Some, not so much. The one incident that is forever burned into my mind was a lady feeding her baby in the middle of the mall. I was probably 16 at the time. There was nothing discreet about it - NOTHING! Chalk it up to teenage immaturity, but I was grossed out by the whole thing. On the other hand, I have no doubt that I've been in presence of the women breast feeding while in public and had absolutely no clue about what was going on. I can't be offended or even have a mild reaction to something I don't know is happening. But whenever I am aware, my mind flashes back to that traumatic experience as a teenager.
THIS!^^^
chalk it up to ignorance, but breastfeeding in public makes me extremely uncomfortable.
This is a problem that you have though not the problem of the mother breastfeeding. Your issue.0 -
Just know that 90% of the rest of the world thinks you Americans are crazy for even having this debate. :flowerforyou:
As Americans, we could care less what the rest of the world thinks of us.
Spoken like a true Yank. :laugh:0 -
Most AMERICANS are uncomfortable because it's a BARE BOOB in public. We are so "anti sex" in the US that a natural part of life is viewed as sexual. Chaulk it up to how ultra conservative people banter about the naked body.
A.C.E. Certified Personal Trainer
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Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition0 -
Just know that 90% of the rest of the world thinks you Americans are crazy for even having this debate. :flowerforyou:
As Americans, we could care less what the rest of the world thinks of us.
Spoken like a true Yank. :laugh:
Hey - that's not all of us!0 -
obviously there are other people in the world that are very uncomfortable with the situation, what's to say that their rights as americans aren't as important? i've also viewed breastfeeding as a private moment between the mother and child, so maybe it is personal. who knows.
like others have said, there are some moms who do it so discreetly that no one would know- that's fine. it's private. but when i go to a public pool or grocery store and someone is being less than private (to say it kindly) while breastfeeding, i feel very uneasy.0 -
I addressed this. You didn't reply.
I've seen it a couple of times myself. What makes me uncomfortable is that to me, feeding a child from your breast, which is a private part of your body, should not be a public act. I don't get why it is so hard to go and find a private room to do it in, or pump (if you can) and bring it with you to the store instead of lifting your shirt and having to have the baby latch on and be exposed like that.
Leaving a social situation is easy. I'd do that regularly. Leaving a store when you have a cart with milk and frozen foods and you should have had dinner in the oven already and older kid is getting cranky because it's coming up on nap-time and baby wants to be fed NOW is not so easy.
Breastfeeding is beautiful. It's also necessary if you are a BFing mother. I think it's equally beautiful to have a nice sit down dinner with my family around the dining room table. That doesn't mean we haven't scarfed down burgers in the car every once in a while.
Not everyone can pump. Some of those who can work outside the home and need that supply for while they are gone. You don't see why it's so hard to go find a private room in a store for 20 minutes because you compared it to leaving a social situation to talk on the phone or do your makeup. That's an entirely different world than parenting, especially with babies and young kids. It most definitely is hard, all but impossible even, to take a cranky toddler to the dressing room at WalMart (because I'll feed my kids in the bathroom when you eat a your lunch in the next stall), keep the toddler still, patient, and occupied for 20 minutes, feed the baby, go find your cart which has probably been put away or if not you will at least need to switch out the refrigerated/frozen foods, then get home 20 minutes later than the already running late you were already doing, try to get the toddler down for a nap which won't happen because after screaming through the rest of your shopping trip (which got you many more nasty looks than nursing a baby ever would) he fell asleep for 5 minutes in the car so that means no more nap and do all of that so some stranger doesn't have to wonder if that baby in the sling is asleep or nursing. Sorry, you're just not that important for me to go through all of that so you don't have to feel slightly uncomfortable passing me in an aisle for 5 seconds.0 -
It's the law everywhere. It was never illegal anywhere. Some states have just had to write it as actual laws so the stupid people wouldn't try to have BFing mothers arrested or kicked out. It's a bit like drinking water. It's not on the books in any state that a person can drink a glass of water in public. But if people started harassing people for drinking water in public, tried to kick them out of restaurants, malls, etc, then legislators would write laws stating that it is legal for people to drink water in public.The good thing about all this is that, no matter what other people's OPINIONS are on this matter, the vast majority of states have laws in place that supercede all of them. Almost all states allow a mother to BF wherever they and children are otherwise allowed to be. Period.0 -
Breast feeding, public or not, is natural. Sometimes awkward, but hey, when baby is hungry, would you rather have screaming baby or happy baby? Imagine how you would feel if you weren't allowed to eat in public!
AGREEEEEEEED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!0 -
Okay let me ask you a question... what is it that makes you feel uncomfortable when a mother is breastfeeding her child in public? How many times have you see it?
As other posters have said, I pretty much view it as an act that doesn't have to be shared with the rest of the world. I've seen more than few women breastfeed in public. Some were discreet. Some, not so much. The one incident that is forever burned into my mind was a lady feeding her baby in the middle of the mall. I was probably 16 at the time. There was nothing discreet about it - NOTHING! Chalk it up to teenage immaturity, but I was grossed out by the whole thing. On the other hand, I have no doubt that I've been in presence of the women breast feeding while in public and had absolutely no clue about what was going on. I can't be offended or even have a mild reaction to something I don't know is happening. But whenever I am aware, my mind flashes back to that traumatic experience as a teenager.
THIS!^^^
chalk it up to ignorance, but breastfeeding in public makes me extremely uncomfortable.
This is a problem that you have though not the problem of the mother breastfeeding. Your issue.
I've never stated nor meant to imply that it was anyone else's issue but my own. However, my issues shape my opinions and viewpoints. It is what it is. I don't have a problem that other people think differently than I do. I'm comfortable with how I feel and I don't see a need to change. My preference to not be exposed to other people's body parts is not depriving me of anything particularly important or profound.0 -
Im sure there are many things in life that make you feel uncomfortable. Please allow women to freely feed there child with RESPECT. Why have debates like this its crazy and the majority are women. It's very upsetting. Babies do not have voices so US as women have to speak up for them and not be at the mercy of formula milk companies.
In this day and age you want a women confided at home.
I breastfeed my child for 2 years, after the first year I returned to work, the only place I could express my milk was in the SICK BAY... My child never took to the bottle so luckily I didnt express for long.0 -
Okay let me ask you a question... what is it that makes you feel uncomfortable when a mother is breastfeeding her child in public? How many times have you see it?
As other posters have said, I pretty much view it as an act that doesn't have to be shared with the rest of the world. I've seen more than few women breastfeed in public. Some were discreet. Some, not so much. The one incident that is forever burned into my mind was a lady feeding her baby in the middle of the mall. I was probably 16 at the time. There was nothing discreet about it - NOTHING! Chalk it up to teenage immaturity, but I was grossed out by the whole thing. On the other hand, I have no doubt that I've been in presence of the women breast feeding while in public and had absolutely no clue about what was going on. I can't be offended or even have a mild reaction to something I don't know is happening. But whenever I am aware, my mind flashes back to that traumatic experience as a teenager.
THIS!^^^
chalk it up to ignorance, but breastfeeding in public makes me extremely uncomfortable.
This is a problem that you have though not the problem of the mother breastfeeding. Your issue.
I've never stated nor meant to imply that it was anyone else's issue but my own. However, my issues shape my opinions and viewpoints. It is what it is. I don't have a problem that other people think differently than I do. I'm comfortable with how I feel and I don't see a need to change. My preference to not be exposed to other people's body parts is not depriving me of anything particularly important or profound.
Sorry my mistake I should not of quoted the whole message, that was aimed at Clamity.0 -
Okay let me ask you a question... what is it that makes you feel uncomfortable when a mother is breastfeeding her child in public? How many times have you see it?
As other posters have said, I pretty much view it as an act that doesn't have to be shared with the rest of the world. I've seen more than few women breastfeed in public. Some were discreet. Some, not so much. The one incident that is forever burned into my mind was a lady feeding her baby in the middle of the mall. I was probably 16 at the time. There was nothing discreet about it - NOTHING! Chalk it up to teenage immaturity, but I was grossed out by the whole thing. On the other hand, I have no doubt that I've been in presence of the women breast feeding while in public and had absolutely no clue about what was going on. I can't be offended or even have a mild reaction to something I don't know is happening. But whenever I am aware, my mind flashes back to that traumatic experience as a teenager.
THIS!^^^
chalk it up to ignorance, but breastfeeding in public makes me extremely uncomfortable.
This is a problem that you have though not the problem of the mother breastfeeding. Your issue.
I've never stated nor meant to imply that it was anyone else's issue but my own. However, my issues shape my opinions and viewpoints. It is what it is. I don't have a problem that other people think differently than I do. I'm comfortable with how I feel and I don't see a need to change. My preference to not be exposed to other people's body parts is not depriving me of anything particularly important or profound.
Sorry my mistake I should not of quoted the whole message, that was aimed at Clamity.0 -
Just know that 90% of the rest of the world thinks you Americans are crazy for even having this debate. :flowerforyou:
As Americans, we could care less what the rest of the world thinks of us.
Spoken like a true Yank. :laugh:
Although, I understand that to non-Americans, all Americans are "yanks", as a southerner I take great offense to being called any variation of a yankee.
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Just know that 90% of the rest of the world thinks you Americans are crazy for even having this debate. :flowerforyou:
As Americans, we could care less what the rest of the world thinks of us.
Spoken like a true Yank. :laugh:
Hey - that's not all of us!
^^Yeah, that. Some of us realize that American conceit and disdain only further worsens our image and still others of us realize there isn't much worth being conceited about anymore. Europe has us beat in a lot of ways. Ditto the land down under. 0 -
Maybe its because I had a fun night out with other moms, but man let's just all get along!!
Seriously to each their own, let's all be happy that we have great children in our lives !! Along with what ever blessings we are given.
Debating with one another isn't going to change anything!!0 -
obviously there are other people in the world that are very uncomfortable with the situation, what's to say that their rights as americans aren't as important? i've also viewed breastfeeding as a private moment between the mother and child, so maybe it is personal. who knows.
like others have said, there are some moms who do it so discreetly that no one would know- that's fine. it's private. but when i go to a public pool or grocery store and someone is being less than private (to say it kindly) while breastfeeding, i feel very uneasy.
I still find it revealing that many of the people who are uncomfortable with BF in public are young women. I don't see a ton of young men here. I feel bad for the girls who are so uncomfortable with BF! It really is not a big deal! Especially, after you've been through labor and had part of your body examined and put out there during labor! Luckily, something chemical will happen in women's brains when we get pregnant and you start to care about the really important stuff, like the health of your baby, rather than who is wearing what or doing whatever in public!
I also think when you tell someone who is trying to meet the needs of their child that they are making your life difficult, it is a bit annoying. Hardly anyone WANTS to breastfeed in public. It is super embarrassing enough without random people on a MFP thread saying how uneasy it makes them feel.0 -
Just know that 90% of the rest of the world thinks you Americans are crazy for even having this debate. :flowerforyou:
As Americans, we could care less what the rest of the world thinks of us.
Spoken like a true Yank. :laugh:
As an American, I'm with the other 90% of the world...0 -
I addressed this. You didn't reply.
I've seen it a couple of times myself. What makes me uncomfortable is that to me, feeding a child from your breast, which is a private part of your body, should not be a public act. I don't get why it is so hard to go and find a private room to do it in, or pump (if you can) and bring it with you to the store instead of lifting your shirt and having to have the baby latch on and be exposed like that.
Leaving a social situation is easy. I'd do that regularly. Leaving a store when you have a cart with milk and frozen foods and you should have had dinner in the oven already and older kid is getting cranky because it's coming up on nap-time and baby wants to be fed NOW is not so easy.
Breastfeeding is beautiful. It's also necessary if you are a BFing mother. I think it's equally beautiful to have a nice sit down dinner with my family around the dining room table. That doesn't mean we haven't scarfed down burgers in the car every once in a while.
Not everyone can pump. Some of those who can work outside the home and need that supply for while they are gone. You don't see why it's so hard to go find a private room in a store for 20 minutes because you compared it to leaving a social situation to talk on the phone or do your makeup. That's an entirely different world than parenting, especially with babies and young kids. It most definitely is hard, all but impossible even, to take a cranky toddler to the dressing room at WalMart (because I'll feed my kids in the bathroom when you eat a your lunch in the next stall), keep the toddler still, patient, and occupied for 20 minutes, feed the baby, go find your cart which has probably been put away or if not you will at least need to switch out the refrigerated/frozen foods, then get home 20 minutes later than the already running late you were already doing, try to get the toddler down for a nap which won't happen because after screaming through the rest of your shopping trip (which got you many more nasty looks than nursing a baby ever would) he fell asleep for 5 minutes in the car so that means no more nap and do all of that so some stranger doesn't have to wonder if that baby in the sling is asleep or nursing. Sorry, you're just not that important for me to go through all of that so you don't have to feel slightly uncomfortable passing me in an aisle for 5 seconds.
I apologize for not responding to your post. There are a lot of posts I could reply to, so I've been picking and choosing ones.
About having a cart of groceries, etc. I understand that may occur sometimes, but couldn't a woman feed the baby before they go out? The baby should be satiated for a while, at least the amount of time it takes to dip into the grocery store. I think it could be more timed out. And yes, I do understand that babies get hungry when they get hungry. But if you understand your baby, you may know, "okay, I just fed him, he should be good for a while now" and be able to plan your trips accordingly.I still find it revealing that many of the people who are uncomfortable with BF in public are young women. I don't see a ton of young men here. I feel bad for the girls who are so uncomfortable with BF! It really is not a big deal! Especially, after you've been through labor and had part of your body examined and put out there during labor! Luckily, something chemical will happen in women's brains when we get pregnant and you start to care about the really important stuff, like the health of your baby, rather than who is wearing what or doing whatever in public!
I also think when you tell someone who is trying to meet the needs of their child that they are making your life difficult, it is a bit annoying. Hardly anyone WANTS to breastfeed in public. It is super embarrassing enough without random people on a MFP thread saying how uneasy it makes them feel.
I think that men care, but they don't feel like they have a say or deserve to say something because they aren't women. Like I pointed out before, Kasey Kahne recently got some flak for saying that he lost his appetite in the grocery store when he saw a woman breastfeeding in the aisles of a grocery store. He later recalled his words, and said that a woman can breastfeed where she wants, but regardless, he said the original words and I'm not sure he believes his apology.
Also about the people not wanting to BF in public - I would agree completely. If I did end up BF, I would not feel one bit comfortable with doing it in public, that is why I'd come up with a plan and a plan B scenario to deal with the situation, whether it be a supplemental bottle of formula or what-not.0 -
Just know that 90% of the rest of the world thinks you Americans are crazy for even having this debate. :flowerforyou:
As Americans, we could care less what the rest of the world thinks of us.
Spoken like a true Yank. :laugh:
Hey - that's not all of us!
Duly noted!! (and the "we don't care what the world thinks of us" actually represents a small number of Americans, in my experience.)
I can't imagine how the prudish would feel living in another country. When I lived in India, you would regularly see people going to the toilet on the side of the road. In South America, topless (and almost bottomless) is de riguer. In Europe, no one looks twice at a bare breast... they're everywhere!! LOL!! I just can't imagine being so uptight about a baby feeding from a BREAST!!
How do you feel about bare ankles? :laugh:0
This discussion has been closed.
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