SHOULD I TELL THE WIFE?? cheater

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  • sofaking6
    sofaking6 Posts: 4,589 Member
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    Hey, if cheating, lying losers are your thing then by all means, take this one and keep him busy so he doesn't ruin any MORE lives besides yours and those of his FAMILY. Enjoy.
  • CJKopp
    CJKopp Posts: 14 Member
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    She probably already knows deep down and is living in a silent hell, don't make it worse...... She is move on when she is ready. Only Speaking From Experience.
  • Gianna5587
    Gianna5587 Posts: 59 Member
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    don't think for one moment that he'll get with you if you do tell her!

    might continue to use you if he can't get it anywhere else though...

    seriously, don't be that girl. get some self respect
  • JennaM222
    JennaM222 Posts: 1,996 Member
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    Don't say anything and move on.
  • mallorybriann
    mallorybriann Posts: 1,380 Member
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    You would be hurting people.
    Don't let him still have control over you. You need to leave, you know that. If he wanted to be with you, then he wouldn't have gotten married... correct?
    He's playing you both. Doesn't sound like a great "man."
    ... I know that its kinda childish and im not really looking to hurt anyone...
  • MaximalLife
    MaximalLife Posts: 2,447 Member
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    is this shyt for real? please tell me this story is made up. I sincerely hope I raised my daughters to be smarter than this!
    ^^^^^^^
    THIS!
  • getfitdiva
    getfitdiva Posts: 1,148 Member
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    Truthfully... why would you tell her? WHAT WOULD YOU TELL HER?? that you were hoping to have his first Baby and he divorce her? You should accept he was playing with you... he is married.. you ned to check his *kitten* if he does it again. You are beautiful.. make yourself available so incase someone who IS available comes along you are ready. Sorry he played with your feelings.. but honestly you never should have considered it.. HE IS MARRIED! you didnt need proof on that... he wasnt being wishy washy he was trying to get some side *kitten*!

    Hear hear! He's married and that's the end. You were played and his deeds will catch up to him. Move on and meet some available men. You are better than this! If he leave his wife for you . . . ummm he may cheat on you? Food for thought.
  • applebobbrush
    applebobbrush Posts: 235 Member
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    Seriously girl, you have some low self esteem going on! You deserve to be happy, to be the ONE person in someone's life that dedicates their life to you in return. You deserve better.
    Ignore him, his calls, texts, emails, unfriend him facebook. If he shows up at your door don't answer it. He'll get the idea real quick. If you tell his wife/family it won't help. He may leave her, divorce her and get some nooky from you while he's free, but he had a chance to marry you and he didn't. He didn't choose you. Go find someone that does choose you and isn't going to just use you.
    Sorry if this sounds harsh, you need to leave him and this whole situation. Prove to yourself you are worth it, love yourself first!
  • JennaM222
    JennaM222 Posts: 1,996 Member
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    Please listen to the sugarland song "stay"
  • seehawkmomma
    seehawkmomma Posts: 815
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    I know this isnt a topic really for MFP but i need advice... ive known an been inlove with someone for years... we have been dating on an off for 6 years... 2 years ago he got married to a girl he dated inbetween me and him dating... for the last 6 months he texts me, calls me, tells me he really loves me wants to divorce her, wishes i would have his first baby, ect... well i since im nosy... i found her on facebook and his mom also and i found out in my investigating that he ended up adopting her kid but they havent had any together... this girl doesnt work, the kid isnt his.. ect... but now he tells me hes going to try to work it out with her... MIND YOU this is the 3rd time he has done this wishy washy mess with me... well i have proof NOW... im considering airing his dirty laundry to his family and her... I know that its kinda childish and im not really looking to hurt anyone... BUT im sick of him hurting me... telling me 3 times he was going to leave her... 3 times he comes back to me... ive even known and loved this man longer. I want to tell her soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo bad.... but i dont wanna Fk up my Karma... any ideas how i can make this better ALL the way around? and please dont just say let it go.... if it was that easy.. i wouldnt be writing this lol thanks all


    She has the ring on her finger.

    Not you. Even if you have known him longer he even adopted her child and lets her stay home with out having to work.

    He clearly didnt love you.

    Telling her this might make you feel better for a minute but think about this what you could potentially be doing is making him cling to her more because YOU decieded to go crazy.

    Theres a reason why he keeps going back to her.

    Do yourself a favor. Hurt, cry, be mad, and move on.

    Delete his number and dont let him come back.
  • BerryH
    BerryH Posts: 4,698 Member
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    Imagine you somehow wrestle this horrid man away from his wife and family and you marry him, maybe even have a baby with him. 18 months later someone messages you on Facebook to say she's been having an on-off affair with your husband. How would you feel? Better if you didn't know? Better if you'd never got together with someone you knew from the outset is a cheater?

    There is no reason to punish his innocent wife for moral crimes you and this reprobate have committed. Get him out of your life immediately and completely.
  • nikkif87
    nikkif87 Posts: 193 Member
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    Be done! Try your best to forget him and move on. If he wanted to be with you, he would have. Let him live his life and karma will catch up to him. Hopefully his wife will realize what a d-bag he is and move on too.
  • Starkle09
    Starkle09 Posts: 238 Member
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    im considering airing his dirty laundry to his family and her... I know that its kinda childish and im not really looking to hurt anyone... BUT im sick of him hurting me...

    So what do u think is going to happen if u air his dirty laundry...u think feelings arent going to be hurt?? Is that going to make u feel better? U think hes gonna leave her and be with u? NOT GONNA HAPPEN BOO!! Have his first child? UGH!! He already has his first child. He adopted hers therefore making that child his own. Uve been used. I know it hurts but uve already given him way too much of ur time with the back and forth in ur relationship and ur even bigger waste of time of "investigating" I have him if u want but i PROMISE u hes not going to be any better to u. People do what u allow them to do and u have allowed him to string u along for all this time...Its time to keep it moving.
  • HeatherBriggs1970
    HeatherBriggs1970 Posts: 59
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    Until I learned to respect and love myself I attracted men that didn't know how to respect and love me. Sounds like once you repair the relationship you have with yourself you won't even be interested in a guy like this.

    Honestly...if you don't get help for yourself you will continue to find yourself in these situations.
  • CRMrunner
    CRMrunner Posts: 88 Member
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    Oh and your karma is already Fd up. Big time.

    IMO there is no such thing as Karma. We have guilt from things that we regret. I think that when we feel bad about something, it affects our actions moving forward.

    My advice would be to pray for guidance and understanding. I don't think that you will find that this situation is helping you at all. Look ahead at what you want/need to do and move that direction.
  • avavin_ac
    avavin_ac Posts: 10
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    Walk away. Stop reading his texts, stop taking his calls, and stop stalking his family on FB,etc. Just make a clean break, and go live your life. Sounds like you have been living your life for him....no more. Get away from him,,,,,no more drama or wondering, and go live for you.

    I agree with the above wholeheartely! Just drop off the face of the Earth as far as he is concerned. It's hard, trust me, we have all been in some kind of situation where our feelings are left out to dry...but being the bigger person here is all that karma needs to show him that what he is doing to you and possibly someone else at some point or another is eventually going to leave him alone and heartbroken himself!
  • HugznKiki
    HugznKiki Posts: 170 Member
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    Truthfully... why would you tell her? WHAT WOULD YOU TELL HER?? that you were hoping to have his first Baby and he divorce her? You should accept he was playing with you... he is married.. you ned to check his *kitten* if he does it again. You are beautiful.. make yourself available so incase someone who IS available comes along you are ready. Sorry he played with your feelings.. but honestly you never should have considered it.. HE IS MARRIED! you didnt need proof on that... he wasnt being wishy washy he was trying to get some side *kitten*!

    Truth.... and remember Karma is a beast...stop doing to others what you wouldn't want done to you... leave it be..
  • bella24xo
    bella24xo Posts: 177 Member
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    i was in a very similar situation ( no one was married though)....what i learnt was that was goes around comes around and he damn well knows what he is doing is wrong..in my situation the guys girfriend found out on her own and confronted me and i wouldnt tell or admit anything to her...because basically whatever u r going to tell her, u r going to look like the homewrecker..what i had to teach myself was to move on because their are guys out there that wont do this to you..and that is what u deserve...i PROMISE:)!
  • Journeyingascrystal
    Journeyingascrystal Posts: 195
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    [/quote]
    JERRY! JERRY! JERRY!
    [/quote]
    lol..
  • KimmieBrie
    KimmieBrie Posts: 825 Member
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    I know this isnt a topic really for MFP but i need advice... ive known an been inlove with someone for years... we have been dating on an off for 6 years... 2 years ago he got married to a girl he dated inbetween me and him dating... for the last 6 months he texts me, calls me, tells me he really loves me wants to divorce her, wishes i would have his first baby, ect... well i since im nosy... i found her on facebook and his mom also and i found out in my investigating that he ended up adopting her kid but they havent had any together... this girl doesnt work, the kid isnt his.. ect... but now he tells me hes going to try to work it out with her... MIND YOU this is the 3rd time he has done this wishy washy mess with me... well i have proof NOW... im considering airing his dirty laundry to his family and her... I know that its kinda childish and im not really looking to hurt anyone... BUT im sick of him hurting me... telling me 3 times he was going to leave her... 3 times he comes back to me... ive even known and loved this man longer. I want to tell her soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo bad.... but i dont wanna Fk up my Karma... any ideas how i can make this better ALL the way around? and please dont just say let it go.... if it was that easy.. i wouldnt be writing this lol thanks all

    Time to grow up.

    He's MARRIED, and not to you, respect that. What makes you think you're so special he'd treat you any differently than what he's doing to her? AND HE MARRIED HER

    He doesn't love you or respect you.

    Accept it, walk away, and do it with dignity.
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