SHOULD I TELL THE WIFE?? cheater

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  • pretty_ribbons
    pretty_ribbons Posts: 154 Member
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    Ok, i dont think you should tell the wife, i think that if you are strong enough to make a clean cut then do it

    Now dont shoot me but......

    I also think think that some of the ppl who replied are being quite insensitive to this ladies situation
    its very difficult when you love someone and maybe im only saying this because i have been in a similar situation or am in a similar situation :s letting go isnt easy, especially when u know that person loves you (or at least acts as though they do)

    Anyway be thankfull that you dont have children for this person, unlike me you can get rid of him i unfortunately have to see him 3 -4 times a week, its torure!

    good luck with this and i hope you have the strength to get over him without being bitter and hurting people in the process, your are worth so much more and deserve better :)
  • FrenchMob
    FrenchMob Posts: 1,167 Member
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    Wow!! You need a hobby.

    I can't believe some people get themselves into these situation WILLINGLY!!!!
  • Journeyingascrystal
    Journeyingascrystal Posts: 195
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    What has the WIFE done to you? Why didn't you "tell her" when he first came sniffing around?

    In my opinion, BOTH of you are equally responsible for this cheating. Chalk it up as a lose and move on.

    Like another poster stated. YOU allowed him to hurt you, because you knew beforehand that he chose to MARRY her :flowerforyou:


    RIGHT.. its just being spiteful now..
  • katzmeow_83
    katzmeow_83 Posts: 27 Member
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    well you dont know me sweetie :) so thank you... my Karma isnt messed up... the part i guess i shouldnt have left out is... I HAVENT BEEN SLEEPING WITH HIM... we dont live in the same state..... so that factors out of the subject :)
  • rhaya96
    rhaya96 Posts: 66 Member
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    Seriously people? The OP was NOT PLAYED!! She knew he was married. She made her choice. She is being vindictive because he won't bow to her demands to leave his wife.

    Let's keep this 100% ... we all know the wife is not going to believe some jump off (yes, you!) and kick him out on your word.

    Proof? You have texts? Wow.. ok? A lot of wives forgive their men OR don't even believe the jump off and guess what - the jump off is still shyt out of luck.

    You will not get what you want - you want him to leave her, her to be broken and you to be happy with him.

    Karma? Honey, you need to take that class again because you failed Karma 101.

    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • rhaya96
    rhaya96 Posts: 66 Member
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    Seriously people? The OP was NOT PLAYED!! She knew he was married. She made her choice. She is being vindictive because he won't bow to her demands to leave his wife.

    Let's keep this 100% ... we all know the wife is not going to believe some jump off (yes, you!) and kick him out on your word.

    Proof? You have texts? Wow.. ok? A lot of wives forgive their men OR don't even believe the jump off and guess what - the jump off is still shyt out of luck.

    You will not get what you want - you want him to leave her, her to be broken and you to be happy with him.

    Karma? Honey, you need to take that class again because you failed Karma 101.

    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • margiemommy
    margiemommy Posts: 76 Member
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    Oh and your karma is already Fd up. Big time.
    i gree with this if u sleep with a married man u are a home wrecker wether it is really his kid or not .... so i suggest u cut the **** get over him and move on... this is stupid high school drama crap..
  • changinmyways72
    changinmyways72 Posts: 73
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    Switch places with his wife and imagine how you would feel being told your husband has been cheating on you. Why would you even do that to someone? And if you did, they would likely break up, leaving that little one without a dad, breaking up a family. Would it really give you satisfaction to do that? If it does, then you have bigger problems than what you just wrote about. Leave them be and move on!
  • katzmeow_83
    katzmeow_83 Posts: 27 Member
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    thanks :) i feel you... but were not sleeping together...
  • katzmeow_83
    katzmeow_83 Posts: 27 Member
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    not his baby....
  • yoshi91610
    yoshi91610 Posts: 177 Member
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    I know this isnt a topic really for MFP but i need advice... ive known an been inlove with someone for years... we have been dating on an off for 6 years... 2 years ago he got married to a girl he dated inbetween me and him dating... for the last 6 months he texts me, calls me, tells me he really loves me wants to divorce her, wishes i would have his first baby, ect... well i since im nosy... i found her on facebook and his mom also and i found out in my investigating that he ended up adopting her kid but they havent had any together... this girl doesnt work, the kid isnt his.. ect... but now he tells me hes going to try to work it out with her... MIND YOU this is the 3rd time he has done this wishy washy mess with me... well i have proof NOW... im considering airing his dirty laundry to his family and her... I know that its kinda childish and im not really looking to hurt anyone... BUT im sick of him hurting me... telling me 3 times he was going to leave her... 3 times he comes back to me... ive even known and loved this man longer. I want to tell her soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo bad.... but i dont wanna Fk up my Karma... any ideas how i can make this better ALL the way around? and please dont just say let it go.... if it was that easy.. i wouldnt be writing this lol thanks all

    OK, really, I know it can't be easy since you feel like you are in love with this guy, and you probably are. I am just going to be as honest as I can and it may sound harsh but I am not trying to be.

    Why in the world would you let him come back to you three times? You say you don't want to be childish or hurt anyone but obviously that is what you both are being. To even consider ruining someone else's life just so you can get a guy who wasn't very into you to marry YOU, is so wrong. You can just stop talking to him. No it's not easy, and I understand that but you know that this isn't easy either. You are hanging onto someone who doesn't know what he wants, or he either sees this as "having his cake and eating it too" He knows if he tells you "I want to be with you and leave her, I wanna have babies with you" that you are just going to melt and give him whatever he wants.
  • macpatti
    macpatti Posts: 4,280 Member
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    I don't believe in karma. I'm not going to bash you, but advise you to do what is right. Do you really feel it is right to tell his wife? If so, what are your motives in telling her? It's easy to say, "I'd want someone to tell me, so I'm telling her", but I doubt that's really your true motive. Otherwise, you would have already told her. If your motive is to cause pain because you're hurting, then I'd say don't tell her. Revenge, bitterness, anger, and jealousy are all emotions that will hurt you in the long run. Let all of that go and move on, for your sake if not his family's.
  • cleoleigh
    cleoleigh Posts: 76 Member
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    If you tell them all, the only thing you will accomplish is hurting her/her child... on the other hand... If I was being cheated on I would want to know. God only knows what he could be exposing her to... GROSS!!

    As for you... WHY? Why? why? would you be participating in this? I know first hand how hard it can be to let someone go when you love them. But lets be honest here....You know what you are doing is WRONG or you wouldn't be posting this. . It isn't good for anyone, especially you. I think in your heart and mind you know that.

    We all want to hear someone tell us how much they love us. That they think we would be an amazing wife and mother..... those words can make you feel so good.........

    BUT you deserve to hear them from an honest and loyal man... who is honest and loyal to you only.

    PLEASE.... i urge you for everyone involved.... ignore his texts, call, emails, billboards, sky writings....focus on yourself...on being the kind of woman that deserves that honest and loyal man.
  • bikermike5094
    bikermike5094 Posts: 1,752 Member
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    What i would do in a situation like this is post all the sordid details on a weight loss forum bulletin board and solicit advice from a bunch of total strangers , compile all the responses into a spreadsheet, cross match them, creat an algorithim view the output. Then I would make life choices based on the results....
    Sorry, i think my blood sugar level has dropped and I'm feeling a little edgy.....in all seriousness, I would probably write Kim Kardashian and seek advice from her.....
  • xsmilexforxmex
    xsmilexforxmex Posts: 1,216 Member
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    Honestly, I would tell her. Just print everything out, tell her" I'm sorry but I still have feelings and I'm tired of getting walked on and thought you should know" also let her know you didn't before BC you didn't want to ruin their relationship but after 3 times there's a moral line in which you feel needs something to be said.
  • Journeyingascrystal
    Journeyingascrystal Posts: 195
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    Ok, i dont think you should tell the wife, i think that if you are strong enough to make a clean cut then do it

    Now dont shoot me but......

    I also think think that some of the ppl who replied are being quite insensitive to this ladies situation
    its very difficult when you love someone and maybe im only saying this because i have been in a similar situation or am in a similar situation :s letting go isnt easy, especially when u know that person loves you (or at least acts as though they do)

    Anyway be thankfull that you dont have children for this person, unlike me you can get rid of him i unfortunately have to see him 3 -4 times a week, its torure!

    good luck with this and i hope you have the strength to get over him without being bitter and hurting people in the process, your are worth so much more and deserve better :)
    listen.. i been here.. and I cursed his *kitten* out to the point he was begging for a new *kitten*.. and I told her (THE WIFE.. sent her all messages and told her that i cursed his raggedy *kitten* out) . and he no longer has a FB.. cell phone or anything.. HER PROBLEM.... and I LOVED HIM!!! But hell first things... first I LOVE ME!!!!!! so bump that.. we arent being insensitive... i have been right where she is.. well not quite.. but you must ALWAYS love yourself... what would my Dad have thought of his daughter being someones JUMP OFF!!! REALLY?? i dont frickin' think so! its called LOVING ME and having VALUES that MEAN SOMETHING!
  • yoshi91610
    yoshi91610 Posts: 177 Member
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    not his baby....

    It is his baby if he signed the papers to legally become that childs father. It's not like she forged his signature or anything he had to do it willingly.
  • handy05
    handy05 Posts: 53 Member
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    What happens if you tell his wife? She leaves him and he comes to you?? Really, is that what you want??? I say HELL NO, you deserve better and its about time you start telling yourself that! Keep it movin'!! Start enjoying a "real" life!
  • Elizabeth_C34
    Elizabeth_C34 Posts: 6,376 Member
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    I also think think that some of the ppl who replied are being quite insensitive to this ladies situation
    its very difficult when you love someone and maybe im only saying this because i have been in a similar situation or am in a similar situation :s letting go isnt easy, especially when u know that person loves you (or at least acts as though they do)

    Sorry but I disagree.

    It's not love when you're being strung along for the ride, regardless of what he says. It may seem hard to leave, but you're hurting yourself a lot more staying like this. It's called self-respect and carrying yourself with dignity for yourself and your children. Sounds like you need to move on just like the OP.
  • IronmanPanda
    IronmanPanda Posts: 2,083 Member
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    Had me here...
    He loves you! Fight for that love! You've already told the world, what's holding you back from telling the wife? It's not his child. Haters gonna hate. You take what you want, without regret.

    Lost me here...:tongue:
    That's what you wanna hear, right? Seriously, leave it alone.
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