SHOULD I TELL THE WIFE?? cheater
Replies
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Ok, i dont think you should tell the wife, i think that if you are strong enough to make a clean cut then do it
Now dont shoot me but......
I also think think that some of the ppl who replied are being quite insensitive to this ladies situation
its very difficult when you love someone and maybe im only saying this because i have been in a similar situation or am in a similar situation
letting go isnt easy, especially when u know that person loves you (or at least acts as though they do)
Anyway be thankfull that you dont have children for this person, unlike me you can get rid of him i unfortunately have to see him 3 -4 times a week, its torure!
good luck with this and i hope you have the strength to get over him without being bitter and hurting people in the process, your are worth so much more and deserve better
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Wow!! You need a hobby.
I can't believe some people get themselves into these situation WILLINGLY!!!!0 -
What has the WIFE done to you? Why didn't you "tell her" when he first came sniffing around?
In my opinion, BOTH of you are equally responsible for this cheating. Chalk it up as a lose and move on.
Like another poster stated. YOU allowed him to hurt you, because you knew beforehand that he chose to MARRY her :flowerforyou:
RIGHT.. its just being spiteful now..0 -
well you dont know me sweetie so thank you... my Karma isnt messed up... the part i guess i shouldnt have left out is... I HAVENT BEEN SLEEPING WITH HIM... we dont live in the same state..... so that factors out of the subject 0
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Seriously people? The OP was NOT PLAYED!! She knew he was married. She made her choice. She is being vindictive because he won't bow to her demands to leave his wife.
Let's keep this 100% ... we all know the wife is not going to believe some jump off (yes, you!) and kick him out on your word.
Proof? You have texts? Wow.. ok? A lot of wives forgive their men OR don't even believe the jump off and guess what - the jump off is still shyt out of luck.
You will not get what you want - you want him to leave her, her to be broken and you to be happy with him.
Karma? Honey, you need to take that class again because you failed Karma 101.
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:0 -
Seriously people? The OP was NOT PLAYED!! She knew he was married. She made her choice. She is being vindictive because he won't bow to her demands to leave his wife.
Let's keep this 100% ... we all know the wife is not going to believe some jump off (yes, you!) and kick him out on your word.
Proof? You have texts? Wow.. ok? A lot of wives forgive their men OR don't even believe the jump off and guess what - the jump off is still shyt out of luck.
You will not get what you want - you want him to leave her, her to be broken and you to be happy with him.
Karma? Honey, you need to take that class again because you failed Karma 101.
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i gree with this if u sleep with a married man u are a home wrecker wether it is really his kid or not .... so i suggest u cut the **** get over him and move on... this is stupid high school drama crap..Oh and your karma is already Fd up. Big time.0 -
Switch places with his wife and imagine how you would feel being told your husband has been cheating on you. Why would you even do that to someone? And if you did, they would likely break up, leaving that little one without a dad, breaking up a family. Would it really give you satisfaction to do that? If it does, then you have bigger problems than what you just wrote about. Leave them be and move on!0
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thanks i feel you... but were not sleeping together... 0
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not his baby....0
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I know this isnt a topic really for MFP but i need advice... ive known an been inlove with someone for years... we have been dating on an off for 6 years... 2 years ago he got married to a girl he dated inbetween me and him dating... for the last 6 months he texts me, calls me, tells me he really loves me wants to divorce her, wishes i would have his first baby, ect... well i since im nosy... i found her on facebook and his mom also and i found out in my investigating that he ended up adopting her kid but they havent had any together... this girl doesnt work, the kid isnt his.. ect... but now he tells me hes going to try to work it out with her... MIND YOU this is the 3rd time he has done this wishy washy mess with me... well i have proof NOW... im considering airing his dirty laundry to his family and her... I know that its kinda childish and im not really looking to hurt anyone... BUT im sick of him hurting me... telling me 3 times he was going to leave her... 3 times he comes back to me... ive even known and loved this man longer. I want to tell her soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo bad.... but i dont wanna Fk up my Karma... any ideas how i can make this better ALL the way around? and please dont just say let it go.... if it was that easy.. i wouldnt be writing this lol thanks all
OK, really, I know it can't be easy since you feel like you are in love with this guy, and you probably are. I am just going to be as honest as I can and it may sound harsh but I am not trying to be.
Why in the world would you let him come back to you three times? You say you don't want to be childish or hurt anyone but obviously that is what you both are being. To even consider ruining someone else's life just so you can get a guy who wasn't very into you to marry YOU, is so wrong. You can just stop talking to him. No it's not easy, and I understand that but you know that this isn't easy either. You are hanging onto someone who doesn't know what he wants, or he either sees this as "having his cake and eating it too" He knows if he tells you "I want to be with you and leave her, I wanna have babies with you" that you are just going to melt and give him whatever he wants.0 -
I don't believe in karma. I'm not going to bash you, but advise you to do what is right. Do you really feel it is right to tell his wife? If so, what are your motives in telling her? It's easy to say, "I'd want someone to tell me, so I'm telling her", but I doubt that's really your true motive. Otherwise, you would have already told her. If your motive is to cause pain because you're hurting, then I'd say don't tell her. Revenge, bitterness, anger, and jealousy are all emotions that will hurt you in the long run. Let all of that go and move on, for your sake if not his family's.0
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If you tell them all, the only thing you will accomplish is hurting her/her child... on the other hand... If I was being cheated on I would want to know. God only knows what he could be exposing her to... GROSS!!
As for you... WHY? Why? why? would you be participating in this? I know first hand how hard it can be to let someone go when you love them. But lets be honest here....You know what you are doing is WRONG or you wouldn't be posting this. . It isn't good for anyone, especially you. I think in your heart and mind you know that.
We all want to hear someone tell us how much they love us. That they think we would be an amazing wife and mother..... those words can make you feel so good.........
BUT you deserve to hear them from an honest and loyal man... who is honest and loyal to you only.
PLEASE.... i urge you for everyone involved.... ignore his texts, call, emails, billboards, sky writings....focus on yourself...on being the kind of woman that deserves that honest and loyal man.0 -
Sorry, i think my blood sugar level has dropped and I'm feeling a little edgy.....in all seriousness, I would probably write Kim Kardashian and seek advice from her.....What i would do in a situation like this is post all the sordid details on a weight loss forum bulletin board and solicit advice from a bunch of total strangers , compile all the responses into a spreadsheet, cross match them, creat an algorithim view the output. Then I would make life choices based on the results....0 -
Honestly, I would tell her. Just print everything out, tell her" I'm sorry but I still have feelings and I'm tired of getting walked on and thought you should know" also let her know you didn't before BC you didn't want to ruin their relationship but after 3 times there's a moral line in which you feel needs something to be said.0
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listen.. i been here.. and I cursed his *kitten* out to the point he was begging for a new *kitten*.. and I told her (THE WIFE.. sent her all messages and told her that i cursed his raggedy *kitten* out) . and he no longer has a FB.. cell phone or anything.. HER PROBLEM.... and I LOVED HIM!!! But hell first things... first I LOVE ME!!!!!! so bump that.. we arent being insensitive... i have been right where she is.. well not quite.. but you must ALWAYS love yourself... what would my Dad have thought of his daughter being someones JUMP OFF!!! REALLY?? i dont frickin' think so! its called LOVING ME and having VALUES that MEAN SOMETHING!Ok, i dont think you should tell the wife, i think that if you are strong enough to make a clean cut then do it
Now dont shoot me but......
I also think think that some of the ppl who replied are being quite insensitive to this ladies situation
its very difficult when you love someone and maybe im only saying this because i have been in a similar situation or am in a similar situation letting go isnt easy, especially when u know that person loves you (or at least acts as though they do)
Anyway be thankfull that you dont have children for this person, unlike me you can get rid of him i unfortunately have to see him 3 -4 times a week, its torure!
good luck with this and i hope you have the strength to get over him without being bitter and hurting people in the process, your are worth so much more and deserve better0 -
not his baby....
It is his baby if he signed the papers to legally become that childs father. It's not like she forged his signature or anything he had to do it willingly.0 -
What happens if you tell his wife? She leaves him and he comes to you?? Really, is that what you want??? I say HELL NO, you deserve better and its about time you start telling yourself that! Keep it movin'!! Start enjoying a "real" life!0
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I also think think that some of the ppl who replied are being quite insensitive to this ladies situation
its very difficult when you love someone and maybe im only saying this because i have been in a similar situation or am in a similar situation letting go isnt easy, especially when u know that person loves you (or at least acts as though they do)
Sorry but I disagree.
It's not love when you're being strung along for the ride, regardless of what he says. It may seem hard to leave, but you're hurting yourself a lot more staying like this. It's called self-respect and carrying yourself with dignity for yourself and your children. Sounds like you need to move on just like the OP.0 -
Had me here...He loves you! Fight for that love! You've already told the world, what's holding you back from telling the wife? It's not his child. Haters gonna hate. You take what you want, without regret.
Lost me here...
That's what you wanna hear, right? Seriously, leave it alone.0 -
First time.... Shame on me.
Second time... Shame on you.
Third time.... Oh hell, nevermind.0 -
well you dont know me sweetie so thank you... my Karma isnt messed up... the part i guess i shouldnt have left out is... I HAVENT BEEN SLEEPING WITH HIM... we dont live in the same state..... so that factors out of the subject
Then I'm sure he's just telling you this stuff to get you to send him nudes.0 -
You are no better then he is. I know that it is cliche, but it does take two to tango. You simply want to tell so that you can hurt him and probably her. By the way, adopted or not, her child most likely looks at him as "dad" and your need to lash out will ulitimately hurt that child.0
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I really agree with this thanks 0
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not his baby....
Don't fool yourself. If he adopted the kid, IT IS HIS BABY NOW! And even if you weren't sleeping with him, you are still having an emotional affair. That's just as bad. I feel so bad for his wife and kid.0 -
Do not tell his wife or family. Simply tell him to never contact you again and if he continues to contact you, then you will contact his family. Threaten him with it but don't actually do it. And for your own sanity cut all ties, seriously if he calls do not answer. If he texts, ignore the text. TRUST ME, if you ignore them long enough they will eventually go away. Good luck and do not let all these fake *kitten* people pretending to be perfect make you feel badly. **** happens, life happens, grow and move on.0
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WE ARE NOT SLEEPING TOGETHER!!!! WE MET AND HAVE BEEN DATING BEFORE THEY EVEN MET!!!! WE LIVE IN DIFFERENT STATES RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So? You are still emotionally cheating with him and considering starting up a world of drama that is going to hurt a lot of people. Stop acting like a 13-year old girl, grow up, leave, find someone else who isn't married and a father (adoption means he is that child's father now).0 -
Wow, bad situation... and these never end well. OK, since you asked that we not just say "let it go"..... I dont have anything constructive to say. I mean, is it going to make you feel any better to destroy this womans life and now this kid they adopted? She didnt do anything to you, he did... but YOU let it happen. Not judging you.... the heart wants what it wants and all that stuff....But Is he an *kitten* deserving of punishment? Absolutely..... then again, she may thank you for telling her if you decided to that. She will probably find out at some point anyway. You mentioned karma.... I say go with that feeling.0
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.... DO U SECRETLY WANT TO TELL HER THINKING SHE WILL LEAVE HIM AND HE WILL BE FREE TO BE WITH YOU???
Cause honey, if that is the case you are delusional!!! He may come running to you, but not for the right reasons.... what a "prize" that would be
not!
U NEED TO READ "HE'S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU" a man who truly loves you and is committed to be with you will move mountains to make that happen. FACT.0 -
well you dont know me sweetie so thank you... my Karma isnt messed up... the part i guess i shouldnt have left out is... I HAVENT BEEN SLEEPING WITH HIM... we dont live in the same state..... so that factors out of the subject
Then if you havent been sleeping with him, it shouldnt be as difficult to break it off.
Believe me i know how hard this situation can be, because i have been in it myself.
And i felt like i was the one being played and pulled along. Until one day i realised hang on a minute, he already has someone, he has already chosen someone.. And im not the one being played by him, im like his instrument to play her..
Im not very good at explaining things.. But really nothing will change, it will always be like this.. And one day youl think about it from the wifes point of view and youl just feel like the worst person in the world for doing that to another person..
And as hard as this situation is to break out of, if your not physical it will be SO much easier.. Pluss you live in a different country. Change your number and email address and wahla, he is out of your life for good.0
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