SHOULD I TELL THE WIFE?? cheater

In reading your OP, you believe in karma, am I right? Don't tell her. It will come out, and he'll get what's coming to him.

Telling the wife accomplishes nothing but harm - and it will mainly hurt her, not him. Do not devote ANY more of your energy to this TAKER. That is what he is. No excuses you make for him are good enough.

Even if he leaves her - don't take him back. If he cheated WITH you... he will cheat ON you.

No - it will not be easy to let go - but you have to do it for you. :flowerforyou: Turn it around. You can do it.
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The quote above is the exact piece of advice that I'd give to you. Sometimes the hardest thing to do is the right thing to do. I know you are hurt and I know that you see telling his wife what happened is the only way to seemingly get back at him, but would you think about the child that would be hurt. That child now has a stable home and someone to call Dad. They have family. The best vengeance is to go on with your life and to no longer give him your love, energy and attention. Your value and worth is so much greater than being a hidden affair. Whether he'd leave her or not, there would still be a mark of shame on your relationship and it would forever stain it. Could you live with wondering in the future "Is he really working late?" when he says that's his excuse or wondering after you were to have his first child, "Will he cheat on me?" because of the insecurity that happens when getting used to a pregnant and post-partum body. Don't do it. Open a life of joy and freeness with someone else. A love that is free of this.

The only reason you want to tell her is to screw up HIS life because he f'ed you over. And you gave him permission to do it when you continued to be involved with him after he MARRIED someone else. You've made just as many mistakes here as he has, and airing his dirty laundry, as you put it, would just be one more mistake. You want a resolution to this situation? Stop seeing him. Stop talking to him. Stop having any kind of contact with him, his wife, his friends, his family, etc. Find some self-respect, and move on with your life.

Amen to that !

YES! This.

I haven't read the whole thread, so someone may have already said what I'm about to say.

Blow him out to his wife and get rid of the loser!!

If I were his wife I'd want to know what he'd been up to, and then I could make the decision as to whether I wanted to stay with the stinking rat or not. That's not ruining her life, that's doing her a favour.

He doesn't want you, he's using you. End of story.

Send the message, and forget you even met him. Don't make excuses for him. He's full of cr*p and you know it. A guy who loved you would not behave in this way.

REALLY??? This is your answer to her?? Maybe you should've read the entire thread because this is NOT what people have been saying. Heck, you must have not read HER entire original post for that matter. It's a shame that FEMALES (and I didn't say WOMEN on purpose) will stoop to the level of messing w/ a MALE (once again, avoiding the word MAN) that they knew was married, had a family, not available and when they don't get what they want or he doesn't leave his family, they want to tell the wife. There's enough SINGLE men in this world that MARRIED ones can truly be avoided, REGARDLESS if you slept w/ him first.

Yep, that's my answer to her and I'm sticking to it. I DID read her entire inital post and my answer still stands. I have now read the entire thread and several other people are of the same opinion, plus at no point did I say "Everyone else has already told you this..." So I'm not exactly sure where you shock horror at my response comes from. What exactly is so surprising?

Now I've read the immature, illogical responses she's put on here I'm ashamed to have spent any time responding. She's clearly a sandwich short of a picnic which explains rather brilliantly why she's in this situation to start with.

If you tell her, it will just make you look bad. It will look like you are trying to get back at him. That is my opinion.

1. Do not tell the wife. It will accomplish nothing because she will only believe him.

2. Get the book Boundaries and read it - learn how to set limits that enhance your self worth and stop being treated like a doormat.

3. Find a good therapist that can help you process your thoughts and emotions and figure out why you want to stay with a mega loser who obviously has the morals of a wharf rat.

Truthfully... why would you tell her? WHAT WOULD YOU TELL HER?? that you were hoping to have his first Baby and he divorce her? You should accept he was playing with you... he is married.. you ned to check his *kitten* if he does it again. You are beautiful.. make yourself available so incase someone who IS available comes along you are ready. Sorry he played with your feelings.. but honestly you never should have considered it.. HE IS MARRIED! you didnt need proof on that... he wasnt being wishy washy he was trying to get some side *kitten*!


I couldn't have said it better!!

Oh and your karma is already Fd up. Big time.

Oh please. How ridiculous is this comment? I'm not a believer in "karma" as injustice goes on all the time, so don't let people with their "magical thinking" doom you to bits. Silly.

Anyway - alright, look at it this way. Say this guy does dump the wife and the kid who's not his (what a jerk)...what would stop him from doing the same thing to you further down the road if he gets a little bored? Nothing. If a slimeball like this is doing this to you now, chances are likely he'll do it again. Also - how do you know you're the only one he's playing this game with on the side? You don't know. He sounds like he's got his priorities only in one place - his pants. If I were you, I'd tell this *kitten* to go get some help and I would lose his number. You're a beautiful woman, and you deserve a man's devotion 100% - not this "whenever it's convenient for him". As for telling the wife or the family, that's not your place either. If that woman doesn't know just how slimy he is yet, she'll figure it out eventually. Just do yourself a favor and lose this guy's number.

This comment WOULD be ridiculous if you don't believe in Karma but some people do, and apparently the OP does , so I don't think it is too far fetched.

I haven't read the whole thread, so someone may have already said what I'm about to say.

Blow him out to his wife and get rid of the loser!!

If I were his wife I'd want to know what he'd been up to, and then I could make the decision as to whether I wanted to stay with the stinking rat or not. That's not ruining her life, that's doing her a favour.

He doesn't want you, he's using you. End of story.

Send the message, and forget you even met him. Don't make excuses for him. He's full of cr*p and you know it. A guy who loved you would not behave in this way.

REALLY??? This is your answer to her?? Maybe you should've read the entire thread because this is NOT what people have been saying. Heck, you must have not read HER entire original post for that matter. It's a shame that FEMALES (and I didn't say WOMEN on purpose) will stoop to the level of messing w/ a MALE (once again, avoiding the word MAN) that they knew was married, had a family, not available and when they don't get what they want or he doesn't leave his family, they want to tell the wife. There's enough SINGLE men in this world that MARRIED ones can truly be avoided, REGARDLESS if you slept w/ him first.

Yep, that's my answer to her and I'm sticking to it. I DID read her entire inital post and my answer still stands. I have now read the entire thread and several other people are of the same opinion, plus at no point did I say "Everyone else has already told you this..." So I'm not exactly sure where you shock horror at my response comes from. What exactly is so surprising?

Now I've read the immature, illogical responses she's put on here I'm ashamed to have spent any time responding. She's clearly a sandwich short of a picnic which explains rather brilliantly why she's in this situation to start with.

Because she made the CHOICE to be with a married man, she should tell the wife???? Hmmm...that's a wonderful idea. NOT. She was not blind-sided and in the dark about this. She KNEW. What's surprising is MFP is for 18 and older people and to tell someone that KNOWING cheated w/ a married man that she should tell his wife is dang sure not an ADULT decision. Ever heard of the 'BLOCK' feature on a cell phone? It really works wonders.

I AM DYING!!!!! LMAO!!



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But remember..........

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I didn't even read it but this is why you don't chase married people (male or female).

is this shyt for real? please tell me this story is made up. I sincerely hope I raised my daughters to be smarter than this!

AMEN!! I hope mine are much much smarter, morally sound women. whats WRONG with people, HES MARRIED! HANDS OFF!!
YOU CROSSED THE LINE....

I.....just...don't care enough to reply....

We will have forgotten all about this post by tomorrow but you will be working through the consequences of your actions - not us.

when you put your business out like that, you open yourself up for all that has been presented. i understand that you were with him first but the fact still remains that he chose someone else..that in itself should have been your clue to get to stepp'n and leaving that loser alone.. but you didnt.. you decided to continue on with him be it emotional or physical, both bad by the way..i'm not name calling, i'm not judging..but since you asked for opinions i'm just giving my 2 cents worth.. let it be and find someone who is all about you because clearly "he" is not.. and like some others have said, if he continues after you ask him not to, then consider telling her..until then.. move on..

But remember..........

BWAHAHAHAHAH

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: