'You'd be more attractive if you were thinner'

I've been told this a few times... and, quite honestly, it didn't bother me in the least. Why? Because I placed absolutely no value on the opinion of the people shallow enough to say it.

Attractiveness is a helluva a lot more than how one looks; it's attitude as well. My husband (whose usually brutally honest opinion I trust) has never ONCE told me I was unattractive, even when I was at my heaviest. He's seen me at my worst - almost 100 pounds heavier than I am now, post-surgery, red-eyed and crying in the midst of the futility of infertility treatments, you name it -- and has ALWAYS made me feel attractive and wanted.

You can tell all of those people who give you the "you'd be pretty, but.." to shove off. The people who really matter won't say it. They may want to motivate you to be healthier, but "thinner" doesn't always equal "healthier."

Looks aren't everything. This isn't a news flash, but *everyone* gets older. If the motivation to lose weight is only so that you can meet anyone else's definition of "attractive" except your own, then good luck with that.

I, for one, have no fear that the person I love most in the world would ever find me unattractive... because *I* find me attractive.

I also hate, "You have such a beautiful face" don't people realize these are insults. I would rather someone say "Your almost all gross" than the other.

My ex-husband said this to me almost every day.

My current husband says... "You are HAWT!... Kids, don't you think your mother is HAWT?"

Guess which one I like better?
Guess which one I spend more "quality" time with?

And, guess which one is going to get the in shape, hot, and sexy me?

You asked him to be "honest" with you. If you aren't prepared for an honest answer, then don't ask.

As a guy, I have learned that if a girl says, "be honest," that is my cue to shut up. Of course then she gets mad cause I wont answer. Hey. The whole question is a trap. The only way to win is to LIE, but even then you can't win, cause she knows your lying.

That is a stupid question. Don't ask me that. EVER!

This probably isn't very helpful, but I've overheard someone saying about me, "--great body but look at her face."

At least weight you can control, right?

Is that you in your profile piccie? If so, whoever it was said that about you must be bloody blind!

I dated a guy a couple of years ago who told me I would be prettier if I didn't have a "pooch" I said I'll show you a ****ing pooch, dumped him and then proceeded to lose 20 lbs.

My wife told me the same thing, but I didn't dump her.
No, I thanked her.

I value honesty.

Sometimes I wonder if people are here looking for fat acceptance or fat loss.

The world can be cruel - yes, but let's keep it real.

Those comments sound familiar. "You look great from the neck up" or "you have a great personalit/sweet girl". That kills me everytime too.
It is always interesting to get the opposite sex's view point. It's healthy (if not a little bit painful). I enlightened one of my guy friends not too long ago. We were talking about dating and the singles scene ( I am married, some of my friends involved the conversation are not). The consensus among the girls was that they would not date an overweight man. Some of the guys were very surprised. I said, "Well you wouldn't date 'fat chicks', what makes you think women are any different?" Obesity, genetically, is a sign of an unhealthy mate. For women, looks are not number one on the list but it is definetly in the top 5.

Why would it be a shock to you if someone said that you would look better if you lost weight? Isn't that why 99.9% of us on here? The words may sting but you got an honest answer. You got the answer to a question that you already knew the answer to. Come on man....

And it works the same for you ladies as well.
You don't see any obese Chippendale entertainers getting the attention of females - lol

No, being fit is attractive; fat is NOT to most people.
That's reality.

This. Women don't like fat men. Men don't like fat women. That's why we are on this site and suffering through intense discomfort, pain, and injury to get thin again. Because to play the social game you have to look the part.

We may hate it. It may sound harsh. It *is* harsh. But it is the society that we live in, and no matter what we may say... most of us want to conform at least a little to society's rules so that we can play society's games.

It's no fun being the fat person who is never physically touched by anyone because of their weight.

When people tell me that "i'm a great guy but i don't date big guys" or "you're pretty cool to hang out with but i am attracted to athletic guys" or "you are a fat **** and i'm disgusted you even bothered talking to me", it all means the same thing. Some are nicer than others but it boils down to "fat people are not allowed on this ride".

Either do something about it, or accept it and move on. It's a nasty world. We all know this. That's why sites like these are so popular. I for one don't want to ride the fat person ride anymore.

What a B@$t@rd! Don't worry, what goes around comes around.

The best revenge is to live well.

Real women have curves!

This. Women don't like fat men. Men don't like fat women. That's why we are on this site and suffering through intense discomfort, pain, and injury to get thin again. Because to play the social game you have to look the part.

We may hate it. It may sound harsh. It *is* harsh. But it is the society that we live in, and no matter what we may say... most of us want to conform at least a little to society's rules so that we can play society's games.

It's no fun being the fat person who is never physically touched by anyone because of their weight.

When people tell me that "i'm a great guy but i don't date big guys" or "you're pretty cool to hang out with but i am attracted to athletic guys" or "you are a fat **** and i'm disgusted you even bothered talking to me", it all means the same thing. Some are nicer than others but it boils down to "fat people are not allowed on this ride".

Either do something about it, or accept it and move on.

OMigod, have women really said that to you?? Pretty disgusting. I apologize!! not all women are like that, that's for sure!

We are all dealt with pretty bad blows to our self esteem based on our weight, if that is what we struggle with. And for sure, they are long lasting. Jeez, otherwise, why would I remember being called the "one with the pretty face" in high school (and I would look more hot if I lost weight?) - that was 20+ years ago!

Someone always tells me this everyday "Oh you have such a pretty face" and I think to myself "but I have a disgusting looking body...I know "

This probably isn't very helpful, but I've overheard someone saying about me, "--great body but look at her face."

At least weight you can control, right?

WHAT?! You are not, repeat, NOT a "Butterface". YOU...ARE...BEAUTIFUL!

Real women have curves!

For SURE!

I do not like those muscled, cut up man-looking females.