'You'd be more attractive if you were thinner'

This may not be the answer you are expecting. What I have found is that women are the harshest judges in terms of weight requirements for their friends. Next to that then there are men that specifically will not date anything other than arm candy. These are few and not representative of most men. Most men find women appealing if they are confident, have a great personality, intelligent, and well groomed. I weighed 233 lbs at 5 ' 6. I now weigh 172 and the truth is that I realize I am as attractive now as before, really. The difference is that my girl friends say I'm much prettier now, lol. But my guy friends really don't focus on it.

I notice differences that have impact such as the ability to move with more ease, the ability to dress with more style, and more desire to be well groomed (hair, nails, make-up, etc).

I've seem many happy men in love with overweight women. For me, its not about being more attractive for men. I need to be more fit, healthy, and have more fashion options. lol

I used to get "oh you've got such a pretty face....."
killed me everytime.

Or the "You're just a pretty face." Now, wtf is that suppose to mean. LOL

No, I pretty much accept that fact that right now, I wouldn't be too attractive to the opposite sex lol. It isn't really upsetting me because I know it's true.

Sorry, but that's a load of BS. Unless all you're looking for is some jerk who just wants a pretty trophy wife, and who will probably ditch you when you get old anyway. Don't fall into the trap of thinking you're only worth something if you're thin. In a REAL, LOVE-based relationship, you will stick by each other because you enjoy each other's company and conversation, you respect each other, you share the same values... a real love relationship has nothing whatsoever to do with looks. After all, the way you look will change. You may get fatter or thinner, you will definitely get older & wrinklier, so if attractiveness were all about looks then no one would stay married after age 50. Or 60, with surgery... :laugh: And if it were all about looks, how come there are so many celebrity divorces? They're all gorgeous, and it certainly doesn't help them keep a mate.

Don't sell yourself short. Yes, it's beneficial to be healthy. But you shouldn't be trying to lose weight just to be attractive to the opposite sex. Find a quality person who's attracted to the inner you.

If someone had told me "You'd be more attractive if you were thinner," I hope I would reply "You'd be more attractive if you were smarter. But at least I can lose weight."
On the other hand, you deliberately asked him, so you can't really complain that he answered your question honestly. And if he is a former boyfriend, there's always the possibility that he deliberately said that to hurt you.

My Dad used to tell me that all the time while growing up. That hurt like the ****ens of course.

Also, a friend of mines ran up to me in high school and randomly blurted out, 'Such-n-such said you'd be fine as hell if you were skinny'... He refused to tell me who this person was. A wise choice indeed.

The fact of the matter is that guys are raised by their mothers and society to be very narrow minded. Its sad and not fair. I'm 24 years old and i refuse to go out with anyone my own age because i hate that attitude of "you are so irreplacable and its an honor for you to have me". I have within the last 2 years have lost 70 pounds and i am 152. All i have left to do is lose the pouch. Right now i can honestly wear anything i want except a bikini and i love that. I am very new at being healthy because my whole life i was overweight. I got all of those lines "You'd be more attractive if you were thinner" and it killed me. But i finally got mad and changed myself.

Now i am that girl that when i go to bars, everyone tries to get my number. hahaha like they have a chance. I actually have people who use to call me fat in H.S try to ask me out today. Do they seriously think i have forgotten all the torment. I have a bf right now who is in his 40's. i chose him because he loves me and cares about me and thought i was beautiful when i was at my heaviest. We lost weight together. I honestly hate people who judge people only on looks. discusting.

I may sound a bit cocky but you have no idea how much fun it is for a guy to come up to me and ask for me for my number and i get to tell him "uh you could lose like 20 pounds fatty". I will say that to a skinny guy too. They get mad and upset and call me the lovely B word, but i just laugh. In reality, if they would have saw me at 230 pounds, they would never give me the time of day and insult me because most guys (not all) my age are shallow. If they really want to get my number, they are going to have to try a lot harder and guys don't want to give that much effort. Too much work

Who are they to judge my appearance!!!

Women who are wanting to lose. One of the biggest motivations for me losing weight was to treat these guys how they have treated me. But again this is me and what worked for me. I know people are going to think i am very spiteful person but i am being honest, it motivated me and its fun. Plus when you lose this weight, you will feel like a million bucks.

For me, it was my mom and aunt who told me, if I just worked at losing some weight I'd have such a great body. Since I had the chest and legs already going on. But I think a lot of people would agree with your statement and as others have said, some won't come out and admit it. Of course I also believe there is someone who will love you just how you are, those are the kind of guys you want to date.

The fact of the matter is that guys are raised by their mothers and society to be very narrow minded. Its sad and not fair. I'm 24 years old and i refuse to go out with anyone my own age because i hate that attitude of "you are so irreplacable and its an honor for you to have me". I have within the last 2 years have lost 70 pounds and i am 152. All i have left to do is lose the pouch. Right now i can honestly wear anything i want except a bikini and i love that. I am very new at being healthy because my whole life i was overweight. I got all of those lines "You'd be more attractive if you were thinner" and it killed me. But i finally got mad and changed myself.

Now i am that girl that when i go to bars, everyone tries to get my number. hahaha like they have a chance. I actually have people who use to call me fat in H.S try to ask me out today. Do they seriously think i have forgotten all the torment. I have a bf right now who is in his 40's. i chose him because he loves me and cares about me and thought i was beautiful when i was at my heaviest. We lost weight together. I honestly hate people who judge people only on looks. discusting.

I may sound a bit cocky but you have no idea how much fun it is for a guy to come up to me and ask for me for my number and i get to tell him "uh you could lose like 20 pounds fatty". I will say that to a skinny guy too. They get mad and upset and call me the lovely B word, but i just laugh. In reality, if they would have saw me at 230 pounds, they would never give me the time of day and insult me because most guys (not all) my age are shallow. If they really wanna get my number, they are going to have to try a lot harder and guys do not wanna give that much effort. Too much work

Who are they to judge my appearance!!!

Women who are wanting to lose. One of the biggest motivations for me losing weight was to treat these guys how they have treated me. But again this is me and what worked for me. I know people are going to think i am very spiteful person but i am being honest, it motivated me and its fun. Plus when you lose this weight, you will feel like a million bucks.

I LOVE THIS!

OMigod, have women really said that to you?? Pretty disgusting. I apologize!! not all women are like that, that's for sure!

To summarize without going into gory depth, yes women have said that to me often. It's one of the biggest reasons I started buckling down on my weight. Granted I was only about 40 lbs over but people equate 40 lbs over as the same as 200 lbs over. Once you get to a certain point it doesn't matter anymore.

Whenever people try to pass this off as a gender thing (meaning that women are so open about dating, but men are only interested in barbie) i have to laugh my *kitten* off because I have found it to be equal no matter what gender we're talking about.

No, I pretty much accept that fact that right now, I wouldn't be too attractive to the opposite sex lol

that is a pretty broad statement...not all men find the same things/qualities/features attractive. Just as we women are attracted to different looks in guys.

Confidence is sexy. So do things that build your confidence and the rest will follow.

Just my .02. take it for what you paid for it.

It's true. I'm way more attractive when I'm thinner.

Me too. If I dropped 20 more pounds I'd be pretty dang hot.

Yes I get the "you're a beautiful girl but..."

My mother told me I had a pretty face but because I had gained weight my pores had stretched so my skin wasn't nice anymore (thanks mam)

My ex told me I was too fat for sex, I was 40lbs lighter back then! My self esteem hit rock bottom and I ate for comfort. He also used to tell me there was no point in putting on make up or getting dressed up because I was so fat it wouldn't make a difference.

I met my current boyfriend 2 years ago and from day one he has told me I'm sexy and beautiful. He is overweight too following a car accident the year before I met him but I fancy the *kitten* off him. He makes me feel safe, he constantly makes me laugh, we never run out of things to say and he treats me like a goddess!

We do have our off days but we are motivating each other to lose weight so one day we can get married and hopefully start a family and set our children a good example.

People tell me all the time I have a pretty face but I ignore them now because I come home and he tells me I'm beautiful! He has really built up my confidence and I know we'll do this together! So ignore those horrible people!!

It's true. I'm way more attractive when I'm thinner.

Me too. If I dropped 20 more pounds I'd be pretty dang hot.

Totally true. That's my one of my incentives to lose the weight.

Real women have curves!

I hate this saying with such a passion. While it's true that curvy women are mighty attractive, it's been skewed so badly that it's now used as an excuse for *obese* women to say that they're "curvy".

Curves means that the shape of your body is naturally curvy, not that you have so much fat that your fat is curved. Accept what you are and either deal with it, or lose the weight. Seriously.

*rant*

I used to get "oh you've got such a pretty face....."
killed me everytime.

ME TOO. I used to silently end their sentence in my head, "...but your body is horrid."

They eat their words now though

I get that pretty face thing a lot too.