WHAT THE "F" IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE!!!!???!?!
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That guy is lucky it was you and not me he grabbed. I grew up with an older brother who used to beat the crap out of me. So now I'm very sensitive to people grabbing me and my automatic reaction is to hit them back HARD>
Heh Heh, I've had something like this happen A LOT but by my family. My 90 year old Grandpa said "She's put on a little weight and is chubby now!" I was mortified. I had, but never thought he'd point it out. I chalked it up to him being old.
My Mother is another story all together. I finally had to have a "talk" with her telling her I didn't want to hear anything negative from her. If she didn't like my hair cut/hair color/hair length/clothes/weight/etc. she should keep it to herself. When she visits she likes to tell me what to do in my own home (my husband too). I tried everything to get her to stop. The one thing that does is when I look at her and say "you can tell me what to do this month if you pay my $2200 mortgage!" That shuts her up and I don't hear anything else the rest of the visit! I'd take that kind of stance with people like this and say "gee did I just pay you $75 for a personal training session" or "when did you go to Medical School? Congratulations." But that's me, I'm a sarcastic BEATCH!!!!!0 -
I lived in the same small town for the first 20 years of my life. YIKES right? So anyways, once I got away from there I didn't return for years. Due to a tragedy in the family I had to come home for funeral. So this is the first time I had seen some of these people in 6 years. I had my daughter in that time, had some bad relationships, a serious heart surgery, Just some MAJOR life changes. You know the ups and downs that we all face.
In the process I had gained some weight at that point probably 50 lbs. So I entered into the hall for the reception thing after the funeral and met up with Ruth. I have known this women since I was born. So I am already super self conscious b/c it's been so long, I have had a falling out with some of these people and life just changes ya know?
So she comes up to me with all my friends and family around and introduces herself. I am surprised and say Ruth...It's Amy..... Sharon's daughter.......She steps back. ( let me just say she has one of those voices that sounds like she is yelling even if she is attempting to be quiet) " OH, AMY....!!!!! WOW,!!! I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT IS YOU. I DIDN'T RECOGNIZE YOU BECAUSE YOU HAVE GAINED SOOO MUCH WEIGHT WOW YOU HAVE REALLY GOTTEN FAT.
So at this point everyone that is standing around us scatters like roaches when the lights turn on b/c they are horrified and I wanted to die. So I just said . "Yes, ruth you are right I have gained weight. A lot can change in a few years. Excuse I have to get my daughter something to drink."
AHHHHHH I haven't been back since.0 -
You were at a bar, right? How many cocktails did this guy have before you talked to him? Will he even remember your conversation this morning? People do and say the strangest things when they have been drinking, things they would normally never do. Or, maybe he just has 'little mans syndrome' and mixed it with some liquid courage. Does he drive a really big truck too?0
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wow! insecurity makes people act like *kitten*! (hugs) TOO bad no matter how hard he works out he will always be an *kitten*!0
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I have lost a significant amount of weight over the last few years...and put about 20 back on. There is this guy at my job I really just do not care for. You know the type...he HAS to make it a point to speak to everyone, even though no one really likes him. I was out walking one day and trying to ignore him, when I whizzed by him and he HAD to speak...frankly, my mind was in 20 jillion other places that day, and I didn't want to speak, so I didn't. So when I'm walking by I hear him say, "Oh, she's just mad because she's gaining her weight back!!" I wanted to SLAP the juice right of out his Jheri curl!!! He did apologize later, but it didn't do much good as far as I was concerned.0
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Umm, people don't talk to me like that and I don't touch people nor do they touch me.
It sounds like something is wrong with him and he has boundary issues, no boundaries at all.
I would avoid him at all cost only cause there is something not rite with him and he is not worth the aggravation :flowerforyou:0 -
wow you should have just kicked him in the b*lls....and walked away...lol0
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Wow! That sounds like something that someone with a very, very small penis would say and do. Just sayin'.
In all honesty though, he sounds childish and immature - this may be his "pulling on your pig tails and punch you in the arm:" because he was attracted to you and is too immature to know how to deal with it.
Exactly, what I was thinking.0 -
Wow! That sounds like something that someone with a very, very small penis would say and do. Just sayin'.
YES!!!!! My thoughts exactly!
Keep up the good work you're doing... your body and weight is something you can change and his loser behind is just stuck with his crappy personality for life.
My story - I was working retail at a craft store, I had this rude customer who was challenging the return policy and says "oh, you must be new here." Annoyed I told her that yes, I was, because I had just been laid off and had to find work. She says "oh, that's so tough, losing your job with that baby on the way" and she reached over the counter to pat my stomach. I smiled and said "Yeah... I'm not pregnant..."
I have had a few people ask me when the baby was due or how far along I was. Finally, one day this woman says "oh when is your baby due?" I looked her square in the eye and said "I am not pregnant, I am fat". This woman's face was PRICELESS! She hemmed and hawed, couldn't get out our store fast enough! I thought EVERYONE knew you don't ask that unless you know the person definately is!!0 -
I have totally had the same thing happened to me. Working on getting ready for my wedding I lost 15 lbs, this put my 5'3" frame at 135..while I could have stood to lose more...I looked pretty good. I had been busting it in the gym and had some nice ab definition. My fiance and I had a bon fire and I was showing off some of my hard work by having people touch my abs and feel how hard they were getting...some friend of my fiance's looks at me and says..."looks like you still have a ways to go!" I was shocked and his fiance said that he is always putting her body down...even though she was like 5'7" and probably my same weight...she had a kickin' body!
And yes...I have yet another story! After the wedding I gained 10 lbs back and this past Thanksgiving we were having a little lunch at work (I plan and host all of our awards ceremonies and luncheons which is what this was), this man that I work with came up...pinched my side...and said "we call those love handles!" I was so mad that he would do that so I just responded that the only man that has permission to touch my "love handles" is my husband and my doctor (only when needed). He just walked away! I think he was just joking...but it still made me feel bad especially since I had gained some back.
People can be rude...just remember that you're doing awesome and that's what matters!0 -
You should have slugged him for putting his hands on you, no one has the right to touch you without your permission. What he said was cruel and I'm sure his girlfriend is also being abused. Let's call this for what it is, abuse. When men objectify women, they abuse them and that is what he did to you, he treated you like an object rather than a person. Honestly, it may be time to consider "losing weight" in the friends department too and cut some folks loose. I don't think what he did was out of jealously, but rather out of control and abuse. He was trying to dominate himself for certain and intimidate you. You are right to be hurt, angry, mad and livid. It's an outrage. Keep doing what you are doing, don't let him discourage you. This journey isn't about him anyway, it is about you. Also, part of this journey is realizing who are true friends are and to muse over how we let ourselves get so far out of wack in the first place. With friends like this, Dude, who needs enemies? Part of the detox process is not just losing weight, but losing toxic relationships. They are oddly connected. Anyway, enjoy the journey, dust off your sandals and don't look back.0
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And this is the scene that shortly followed said disrespect...
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He most probably thought he was having a laugh. The laugh is on him. He has lost you as a friend.
He may have even lost his girlfriend. You said she was in hearing distance.0 -
I bet he has a horrible life to try to point out other's "flaws". I bet that guy is a complete loser!0
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i admit to only reading the first page, so i don't know if anyone has said this: if someone touches you without your consent, it is assult. this is a very important nugget of the US legal code. b/c when he grabs your stomach like that, you are now legally FREE to kick his @ss, right there in public and everything, and claim self defense.
so, if this wag ever, ever, EVER tries anything like that, beat him down.
the law is on your side.0 -
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And yes...I have yet another story! After the wedding I gained 10 lbs back and this past Thanksgiving we were having a little lunch at work (I plan and host all of our awards ceremonies and luncheons which is what this was), this man that I work with came up...pinched my side...and said "we call those love handles!" I was so mad that he would do that so I just responded that the only man that has permission to touch my "love handles" is my husband and my doctor (only when needed). He just walked away! I think he was just joking...but it still made me feel bad especially since I had gained some back.
People can be rude...just remember that you're doing awesome and that's what matters!
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Sweet heart, he was not joking, he was coming on to you. That is not acceptable behavior in the workplace.0 -
He deserves a swift kick in his small balls. Or one raised eyebrow look that would make him feel like he was sent straight to hell. What a moron.0
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OMG as if!! Nasty guy!!0
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and proceeds to grab onto my lower belly flab
He would have had a broken arm. And nose......And shins......and tailbone....yeah, I would have physically destroyed him. Sorry, but no one touches me without my permission (except some of my friends that give me hugs, but still...) You are a very strong and controlled person. He probably saw and envied that and decided to act that way to make himself feel better0 -
Let me ask this question... after you were groped by this guy who was SO MEAN, were you more or less inclined to go exercise / lose weight?0
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I have lost a significant amount of weight over the last few years...and put about 20 back on. There is this guy at my job I really just do not care for. You know the type...he HAS to make it a point to speak to everyone, even though no one really likes him. I was out walking one day and trying to ignore him, when I whizzed by him and he HAD to speak...frankly, my mind was in 20 jillion other places that day, and I didn't want to speak, so I didn't. So when I'm walking by I hear him say, "Oh, she's just mad because she's gaining her weight back!!" I wanted to SLAP the juice right of out his Jheri curl!!! He did apologize later, but it didn't do much good as far as I was concerned.
I think this dude works where I work...Jheri curl juice dripping motha fada...0 -
I would've put my hand wayyyy over his head and said..."You still have some more growing to do, should I order you a glass of milk?"
He's a douche. Forget him.0 -
HE's probs just jealous
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Sorry for the cliche, but "stupid is as stupid does."
Probably didn't even realize that he was making a royal fool out of himself.
Move on from this, as you're a better person for knowing how idiotic and demeaning he was being.
You've got people here who support you, no doubt, so stick with them.
katie0 -
HOLY crap batman... how effin rude.... I would have been pissed too. But hey, you know what they say.... People only try to break you down because you are ABOVE them.. 0
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First of all no one would ever get that close to me to touch or disrespect me, I don't care who you are. It couldn't be me. He probably would not have gotten his hand back. I'M JUST SAYIN'! --> I love MFP pet peeves BTW! (HA!)0
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My Grandma came for a visit from New Mexico. I hadn't seen here in probably 5 years and gained a considerable amount of weight. She had gotten to the house sometime while I was at work, when I walked in the door not even kidding first words out of her mouth were " You have gotten so fat." Not a hello, not a long time no see, nothing just a "You have gotten so fat" Really Grandma? Thanks for noticing. The whole visit she had made snide comments, when I grabbed breakfast ( which was not at all unhealthy) she made a comment of maybe I should have <insert something a tad healthier here> Finally my Dad intervined and told her I was aware I wasn't skinny anymore and making comments like that was not going to make me skinny again. What is worse is she is not at all skinny/healthy so for her to have the audacity to say something to me was ridiculous.0
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Honey, let me congradulate you on keeping your composer because I KNOW I would have had to let him know MY opinion of his opinion and it would not have been nice! So *pats you on the back* good job but next time you run into them I hope if he decides to be this rude again u let him have it!!! ugg hateful people reallly get under my skin!0
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You are a better person than me. I would have whacked him upside the head. And HARD!
Same here.
Kudos to you for keeping your cool.
I'm sure he'll get fat and miserable.0
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