Worst Date Ever

I have spent a lot of time reading these posts and I think I may have the mother of all bad dates. Let me know if I am wrong. Warning: This is a long and detailed story!!!!

This happened several years ago after I got out of a 4.5 year marriage. I had met this guy online (mistake #1) and we chatted off and on for a month. He was really sexy, funny, smart, ect and I really wanted to meet him. Our schedules conflicted a lot so it took us a while to get together.

We both had a night free and he asked me out. I was psyched to finally meet him. I had forgot that I agreed to pick up a sofa I bought from a co-worker that night and said I would have to meet up later. He said no problem and that he could help me pick up the couch and transport it back to my home. I thought that was very sweet so I accepted.

He shows up at my house and he is 10 times sexier than his pictures. I was thrilled because I felt this was going to be an amazing date. Boy was I WRONG! We got into his truck and proceeded to head into the city to go to dinner. We were not even 5 minutes from my house when he just decides to say out loud "God I can't wait until I get off probation!" I instantly freaked out. All these things ran through my mind like...WTH did this guy do that he is on probation??? I didn't want to be a jerk and jump to conclusions so I nervously asked what he was on probation for. He began to tell me this enchanting tale which went a little something like this:

He was at a club in the city and black gentleman (he used the racial slur instead...uncool!) he had had run ins with before was talking crap to him. He got really mad and decided he was going to "keep it real". He went out to his truck, pulled out a gun and shot up the dude's car in front of a crowd of people. Apparently gun shots bring about a lot of attention...so he had a nice little audience. He unloaded the gun in the dude's car and took off. Within a few hours the cops showed up and arrested him.

Ok so at this point I am wondering am I safer staying in this car with this psycho or jumping out of a truck going 65 miles an hour....should have taken my chances with a huge leap out the door but I didn't. I got very nervous and slid as close to the door as possible and gave him a freaked out look. He saw how panicked I was and touched my leg and told me it was ok, it happened years ago, he went through anger management, and it's all good. Well the massive idiot that I am, I let it go because he was so cute (man I am an idiot sometimes!). I casually asked what kind of vehicle he shot up...I am thinking a Ford Fiesta or a Gremlin....NOPE! He shot up an Escalade! What the hell ever happened to a strong "F/U" when someone talks crap to you? In the end result, he ended up paying the guy in civil court for a new vehicle and this is why he was on probation. Again...let me say I was an idiot and let it slide since he was so hot.

After the probation story wrapped up...he asked me if I smoked. Now I am naive and I thought he was talking about cigarettes (which I am a CIGARETTE smoker) and I replied yes. I was relieved because I needed a cigarette after that damn story. He replies "Thank God" and proceeds to pull out a roach from his ashtray. I jump back and yell "I MEANT CIGARETTES!!!!" He saw how upset I was that there were drugs in the vehicle and said oh I am sorry I won't smoke in front of you. I thought that was the end of it...NOPE!

He proceeds to tell me that weed is okay and said...and I quote "But you know what I really love? Cocaine!" My eyes were the size of Mars! I started looking around thinking ok am I on a freaking hidden camera show? This is RIDICULOUS! Nope...no hidden cameras...I was just in hell! He proceeds to go on and on about his love for cocaine. He informs me that he loves it so much but he cannot do it anymore because it turns his nose to hamburger and that when he sees people doing a line in movies, his mouth waters because he wants some cocaine so bad. At this point, I just want to be hit by a BUS! I cannot believe I am hearing this.

Fast forward......we are at my co-workers house to pick up my new sofa. We both come in and she shows us where the sofa is. Mr. ProbationGunCocaineA**hole decides he is going to life the couch by himself. Well the guy was pretty buff so I let him do it. He proceeds to bend over to pick up the couch..that's when I heard this blood curdling ripping sound....yep....his pants ripped from the top of his fly all the way down to his knee. I just stood there wanting to drop dead of embarrassment but apparently I had not suffered enough. This is the part where he whispers to me "Thank goodness I am wearing underwear tonight...I usually go commando!" Needless to say I ran out as fast as I could with him and my new sofa. Work on Monday was gonna be fabu!

After we left the pants ripping party house, he asks where I would like to go for dinner. I asked him if he was going to change his pants first and he replied, no I am fine. Needless to say I had my fill and I said it's okay we can just go to my house (meaning, TAKE ME HOME A**HOLE!). We finally get to my house and he is unloading my sofa and carrying it in to my house. I go to shut the door when I hear him gasp for breath and start wheezing. I then shout out "You have F***in ASTHMA????" He nods and is motioning that his inhaler is in the truck. I run outside and start looking for it. I am thinking holy crap what am I going to find in here? A gun, more drugs, a dead body???? I finally find the inhaler and run back in. He puffs on it and comes back down. I hollered at him why did you do that if you had asthma. He gave me some stupid reason, but I had had my fill of this idiot.

After the little medical emergency he asks if he can take off his pants because he feels silly with a rip in his pants. I said why do you feel foolish now? Well basically it was his way of asking for a bit of oral. Needless to say...that was my breaking point and I asked him to leave. I never called, emailed, texted, pigeon messaged this idiot again. I come to find out that this guy wasn't even single...HE WAS MARRIED with a pregnant wife at home! I didn't know if I felt sorrier for myself or her!!!!

The End!

Years ago I went on a date with this "high power" lawyer. I showed up first, and opened a bar tab so I could order a drink, because, you know, it's weird just sitting in a nice hotel bar, not ordering. He scolded me when he arrived because I "wasn't supposed to pay for anything." During the date he flirted with our waitress, and talked more about his cars than anything else. He actually told me he'd have to buy me a TV for my apartment (I didn't have one) so that he could watch sports at my place (on a FIRST date). And it just got worse from there, thankfully it was only drinks. When I emailed to tell him thank you, he emailed me back calling me a freak and saying there was something wrong with me. Apparently I wasn't impressed enough by his Astin Martin.

I also had a guy try to pick me up in a bar one time by telling me about all the feral cats he'd been shooting. Ugh. Just creepy and weird and sad.

I met up with a guy for a first date at a coffee shop. We spent a couple hours playing board games and having great conversation. I really enjoyed the time.

Two days later, I got an email from him that said: You seem really nice, but I don't think this will work out because you are a Green Bay Packer fan. Take care.

I thought it was pretty odd, but quickly moved on with life.

About 2 months later, I saw him at the grocery store. He was holding hands with another guy!

Who's the Packer fan NOW?!

Posted this before, but here goes:

I was set up with this guy a few months ago. We met at a public location, which is this huge botanical garden in our city. I got there a little early, and waited. Up rides this guy on a BICYCLE with what looked like a hiking pack on his back. The first thing he said to me was "You must be Danielle. I recognize your t*ts from the photo that _____ showed me"....ummmm....seriously?! So we walked through the gardens talking, and the entire time this guy bi.tched and moaned about how expensive dating was, how expensive EVERYTHING is nowadays...mind you, he makes 6 figures. He knew from our friend that I am vegan, and asked me a lot of questions about it, and seemed to be respectful. After the gardens, he said he wanted to take me to dinner, but we'd have to put his bike in my car....WTF?! I asked if he owned a car, out of curiosity, and he said he did, but "didn't want to waste the gas". So, I have to STRADDLE his bike in a skirt and heels while he took it apart so it would fit in my car, and got in. He guided me where to go, and it ended up being a pizza place....okay, so I can just get a small veggie pizza w/no cheese...no big deal. OH NO. He ordered for BOTH OF US. A MEAT LOVERS pizza. He told me I could just "pick everything off, it's a better deal this way." After having a nice meal of water, we got back in the car, and the first thing he said was, "well, I washed my sheets so I guess it's time to go back to my place." I obliged, but with a different motive. We got to his place, put his bike back together, and I got back in the car and took the hell off. He started calling me like, 3 times a day, texting, emailing me. I had to block his number and his email so he couldn't contact me. Believe me, I had some STRONG WORDS for my friend the next day!

:noway: WTF?!

I had a really nice date with a guy I'd met online, so I invited him over to watch a movie and have lunch one day. My ex was still in the habit of walking into the house whenever he felt like, so that was awkward when he decided to stop in, but then later the guy was kissing me, and I was trying to keep it at just that because I didn't want to rush into anything. He was wearing shorts, I was wearing yoga pants with flip flops. He kept pushing himself against me, and all the sudden I felt something wet plop on top of my foot. I was freaking out, but I didn't want to say anything to embarrass him! I could feel it soaking into the bottom of my pants, totally grossing me out.

Another date, a guy bit my bottom lip so hard it swelled up and turned purple. It was purple for a week, and I had a dentist appt and had to lie to my dentist and tell him someone stood up and bumped their head on my mouth. :ohwell:

Last one, and I have a lot more, but I was on a first date with a guy (probably the first since I'd kicked my husband out, so it was still weird for me to even be out with another guy), and we were sitting in his car talking. He asked me if I trusted him, then he took my hand and put it on his junk and said "This is how I feel about you." I was so shocked that he would do that, I spent the rest of the time with my back pressed against the car door. He said I was giving him that "don't touch me" vibe. Really?!?! Hmmmm!

You guys are making me feel much better about my dates!

Did he pull a Justin Timberlake????

Must say I never had a really bad date. Only ever dated my wife and we have been married for 32 years since.

SOOOOOOO many Girls do the texting thing so much, they completely miss out on life. Every time I go out to a bar, restaurant, or special event, i see most of the young 20s and 30s are always on their phones and the guys, friends, or parents are so bored. Women, no one wants to hang out with you to just watch you text. How can someone go out to a bar, sports, concert, or outdoors activity and all you want to do is text and tweet. How about this, actually do the thing that you are texting and updating statuses about.

You are boring and you are so missing out on life. The life that you think you have in your phone is not better than your real one. Please be respectful and actually engage with the people who are trying to spend time with you. Sorry but this is such a pet peeve for me. A few times me and my friends would just walk up to them and ask the people being ignored f they want to hang out with us or buy them a drink and not the disrespectful texter.

Sometimes I do believe that cells phone are bad and ruin relationships. In many cases, this is where the cheating starts. I know many people as soon as they get mad at their partner, the first thing they do is start texting other people. Sorry for venting. I just can relate to the original poster and it sucks. When it happens to me, I just leave the restaurant even if I took them there. They can just text someone for a ride. I dont put up with it.