How to not cry when getting your *kitten* chewed??

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  • abvickrey
    abvickrey Posts: 76 Member
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    Yell to yourself in your head while the other person is verbally belittling you: "I CAN DO THAT TOO! YELLING IS FUN! AHHHHHH!!!" You might start laughing... but you definitely won't be crying! "ALL THIS YELLING IS NOT NECESSARY! I HAVE VOCALS TOOOOOO!!! AHHHHH!!!" ;)
  • darlene071207
    darlene071207 Posts: 2
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    Great responses and i needed this on Friday.
  • ahinescapron
    ahinescapron Posts: 351 Member
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    Once I figure out what they are mad about, I just tune the rest out. Then, I just shake my head a few times and say I'm sorry, so they think I am still listening. I can usually handle a situation where I am being chewed out, it is when I am angry that I start to cry.
  • PlanetVelma
    PlanetVelma Posts: 1,231 Member
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    my dad was an *kitten* when i was growing up and i simply stopped taking things personally. Instead, I let my anger seethe (seathe?) up and instead of crying, I have to think about quashing the urge to punch whomever it is in the face. I NEVER EVER give anyone the satisfaction of making me cry - over things like work. If it's real advice/criticism, then I obviously needed it and I'll take it - if they are just being an *kitten*, screw em - they don't get to bother me.

    This right here!

    We must've had the same dad. LOL I have a pretty thick skin due to how my dad raised me. Plus at work, it's all business - if I'm getting chewed out I must need the criticism. Although I had one supervisor that I had to assert myself, he was completely inappropriate and would chew me out for being on vacation (btw, he approved the time off). Once he realized that he couldn't bully me he left the alone.
  • ejohndrow
    ejohndrow Posts: 1,399 Member
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    I once got apprehended while at work. Just try and imagine how pissed off my chief was, and the *kitten* chewing I got then. Just do the 1000 yard stare and get through it the best you can.
  • horndave
    horndave Posts: 565
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    making mistakes is part of life and you will do it again. With that the mistake and you getting chewed out is not personal. Don't take it personal. Concentrate on the problem at hand, devoid any emotion and think critically on how to rectify the problem. Fix problem.
  • wickedcricket
    wickedcricket Posts: 1,246 Member
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    who in blue hell is chewing your *kitten* regularly and why!? You don't need to know how to man up about that- here's what you do- GO ON THE OFFENSIVE!
    I've discovered that I can make ppl cry too and when I do, I feel a LOT less like crying. RIP into a couple of *kitten*-holes - pick the biggest, scariest one & make him cry like a girl and NOBODY will fk with you.
    Also - address this person "HEY! you don't NEED to talk to me like that. I AM NOT YOUR WIFE! A simple reprimand will do. You want to abuse me? I'm calling the labor board & see what they have to say."
    Then when you win your court case you can name the company after yourself :)
  • QueenJayJay
    QueenJayJay Posts: 1,139
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    Picture them as the pathetic little thing they are.
  • puggleperson
    puggleperson Posts: 740 Member
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    Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do

    Punch.gif

    This!
  • jmaffett
    jmaffett Posts: 68
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    Don't listen to the tone, but focus on each of the words. Look for the key word that they use to describe why they are chewing you out. Then politely stop them and ask how you can rectify the situation or at least prevent it from happening again (using their key words to describe the event). If you focus your mind on a constructive solution, you're less likely to get pushed by the person's emotions.

    GREAT response! I always try to get to the "lesson" and then plan what I'll say to let them know that I got the message and it won't happen again.

    If the kicking is because of something you weren't responsible for and there is no need for it, focus on finding another job. Seriously.
  • jhartram
    jhartram Posts: 165
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    Store up all the anger and frustration they're inspiring in you and use it to work out harder later... then smile because they're helping you with your goals while being a jerk... then watch them get frustrated because you're smiling and disintegrate into partial sentences before stomping off :tongue:
  • bmqbonnie
    bmqbonnie Posts: 836 Member
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    It comes with time. I used to cry at the drop of a hat and almost never do now. Keep your breathing even, try not to take things personally, and if you feel tears coming anyway it helps to look up, especially at a light.
  • ilookthetype
    ilookthetype Posts: 3,021 Member
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    Any suggestions? I hate looking like a weak little girl when I get upset and cry when I get chewed out. I need to be strong and take it like a man! Lol, any suggestions???

    Not crying isn't "manly" its refusing to be guilted into something. So don't feel guilty, admit you fvcked up and move on.

    Also, don't feel shame in being a woman, which, those 4 sentences make it look like you think you're weak and less than men, you're not. Go listen to "Blood in the Boardroom" by Ani Difranco.
  • patcobill
    patcobill Posts: 2
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    Ask the person to STOP yelling and address you like an adult. People get treated like they allow themselves to be treated.
  • paulamarsden
    paulamarsden Posts: 483 Member
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    why is anbody allowing anyone to shout at them either in the workplace or in their personal lives?

    Man up the lot of you.

    just sayin'
  • mcdonl
    mcdonl Posts: 342 Member
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    Not much info to go on, so I will assume that maybe you made a mistake and the other person over reacted. Correct me if I am wrong.

    So, I will also assume that the other person has formal authority over you in a professional capacity.

    AND... I will also assume that somewhere mixed in with the *kitten* chewing (Not to be mistaken with gentle nibbling....) there was some constructive criticism not just punitive actions...

    All of that said, I have a chief who is just like the person I described. Likes to make mountains out of molehills, nit picks and if you are not doing it his way you are doing it wrong.

    So, what I do is listen intently, and thank him for his continued feedback. Kissing *kitten*? Sure, but his title is chief, my title is give me a ****ing pay check.... So, I take his power away by thanking him and making him think I appreciate his words... when in some cases I do.
  • jilers
    jilers Posts: 94 Member
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    First of all stare at the top of their head. They think you are looking at them but you are not. Focus on the words remember they are words That's all. If the words are relevant use it as constructive criticism - if not roll your eyes around (in your head!) and remeber this too shall pass
  • AlbertPooHoles
    AlbertPooHoles Posts: 530 Member
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    Any suggestions? I hate looking like a weak little girl when I get upset and cry when I get chewed out. I need to be strong and take it like a man! Lol, any suggestions???
    Don't be a "weak little girl". Be a strong woman. :flowerforyou:
  • CastleMadeOfSand
    CastleMadeOfSand Posts: 432 Member
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    By asking how to "take it like a man" you're asking how not to be a grown, strong, awesome woman. I suggest putting on gloves and busting the glass ceiling.
  • theoneandonlybrookie
    theoneandonlybrookie Posts: 341 Member
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    Yeah, this is why we all should realize that chewing someone out doesn't do anything helpful! And believe me, I work with a bunch of egos and routinely am made to feel dumber, less important, and generally just like a complete piece of *kitten* by some people I work for. I have many times wanted to cry my eyeballs out at work as a result of a good chew out. I feel for you.

    If someone is giving you constructive criticism, it probably won't make you cry. It will make you stop, think about what you're doing, and more than likely make positive changes.

    If someone is chewing your *kitten*, they aren't encouraging you to make positive changes. They very well could be very sad or angry at other things in their lives and are taking it out on you. At any rate, they don't deserve your respect or attention in that moment.

    In a perfect world, well, you wouldn't be chewed it out, but if you were, you could calmly tell that person to go away until they can speak constructively to you. I realize that this might not be the best option if it's your boss, though, and they have the power to fire you if you choose not to listen to them.

    So if it's someone you can't tell to go away, ignore them and try to make yourself think about something funny instead. Imagine that person naked attempting to do the electric slide. Or imagine how funny it would be if you actually COULD go kung fu on their *kitten* and how shocked they would be.

    This is my personal favorite funny beat someone up or tell them off fantasies from High Fidelity...

    http://youtu.be/28S-aOWtFdo

    Imagine doing THAT to them. :smile:

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