How to not cry when getting your *kitten* chewed??

Wow, is sure need help with this one two...we need some suggestions from emotional females, not logical men!!

::facepalm::

I'm the most emotional man you'll ever meet in your life. However my emotions don't dictate my gender OR my behavior! Jeez! And they call MEN sexist...

I LOVE YOU! ^^

OP: I am an unemotional woman, I'm not less of a woman for that!

Look, when you're talking to him/her and (s)he starts to yell ask him/her to lower his/her tone as you can hear him/her fine, sit up right, and maybe just tell him/her, "Look I did these things wrong and here is how I intend to fix it"

Also, if you AREN'T wrong tell them that.

You aren't a girl, you are WOMAN, so don't act like a "little girl" and don't think you have to "man up" your sexual organs are way more powerful than a man's, don't forget that.

There are many ways that people identify sexuality/gender, however, crying isn't one of them, please don't try to say that crying is womanly or that not crying is manly.

^^^ This exactly. I have never cried when confronted with something at work I just listen - then I concede and pledge to do better and throw out ideas to help me do this or I provide information/documentation to show I actually am doing what I should be. I think I'm very womanly :flowerforyou:

Picture them as the pathetic little thing they are.

Be careful. There are people on MFP that actually go around to threads under the guise of "anti-bullying" and "protecting the innocent" - I wouldn't want your harsh words misinterpreted and reported.

Instead of listening to them, I sit there in my head and chew their *kitten* back!

Any suggestions? I hate looking like a weak little girl when I get upset and cry when I get chewed out. I need to be strong and take it like a man! Lol, any suggestions???

I am incredibly hypersensitive. It's just the way I'm wired. There are pros and cons to this characteristic. But it won't go away. I've had to learn behaviors and thought patterns to not let it rule my life.

There is a difference between not becoming a mess because you made a mistake and someone talked to your sternly, or even yelled - and standing up for yourself when confronted with verbal abuse. Based on your original post, I will assume you are talking about the former. I'm also going to assume you meant "take it like a man" as an idiom for being a little tougher, and not commentary on gender stereotypes. Because, you know, that might start a debate where we have little detail or follow-up explanation to go on (but that won't stop us from posting our politically-charged opinions). For a lot of people yelling can trigger childhood stuff, which is obviously beyond the scope of this discussion.

There is some good advice already posted. I think you have to decide that no one can harm you unless they physically assault you. People will argue this point. But that's why I'm calling it a decision. You can decide whether to be offended/hurt/etc. in response to someone's words. At the very least, you can decide how to react. How much power and control do you want to give over to others? Ask yourself that question. You can affect how much, if not control it completely.

When I make a mistake, I am quick to own up to it. I find it's easier that way. If someone wants to yell at me for it, that's fine. I don't really care. If the yelling continues, is in front of co-workers or other people, I might care more. If the yelling is a pattern, I might want to change that relationship. I strive for this perspective: the way someone else handles their emotions is none of my business. Easier said than done, I know. But I strive for it. I hope some of this helps.

Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do

this.

When I feel the tears start coming I jut my jaw out - I read somewhere that can help disrupt the tear ducts or some crap like that. Also, I firmly squeeze the skin between my thumb and pointer finger. Breathe deeply and try to calm down. I do let myself cry after a bad day when I'm driving home alone in my car - it's cathartic. I get it out of my system and then when I get home I can move on with my life.

Good luck! :flowerforyou:

I would have punched them.

I'm amazed that there are people who tolerate being abused verbally by anyone!!!

A boss a few years ago used to speak to his wife like **** & at work communicated to staff the same way. He generally left me alone but one instance he started having a go at me for something in a really unprofessional & aggressive manner, about 1 minute into his little rant I raised my palm to his face, looked him in the eye & told him calmly that until he was prepared to talk to me in a civilized manner the conversation was over or he could take it to HR. You could hear a pin drop as not one of the other staff had ever stood up to him. He flustered for it a bit then lowered his voice, changed his tone & we discussed it like adults. From then on his tone mellowed considerably with the rest of the staff & he spoke to me like a treasured relative.

I am a grown women, I do not take abuse from anyone, at home, at work or in the street. Anyone who attempts it gets one chance to redeem themselves then they will regret being born.

My advice is to be more proactive in defending yourself, even if you are in the wrong don't give someone the right to verbally abuse you, ANYTHING can be resolved calmly, civilly & with respect. Until you understand this people will continue to control you & you will be unable to control your emotional reaction. Just my opinion as a women.

This is along the lines of what I was going to post. Don't tolerate being belittled or yelled at. "I'm sorry but I will not allow you to talk to me in that manner. I am happy to discuss this respectfully, otherwise this is not the right time."

...your sexual organs are way more powerful than a man's, don't forget that.

For reals? I think this calls for a cage match!

Two words: natural childbirth.

'Nuff said.

Kidney stones.

More painful than childbirth.

I'm not going to read 4 pages of responses. Sorry if I'm redundant. My answer is....

Stop caring.

For me to feel something about what someone is saying, I have to actually care about their opinion of me. I don't actually care what anyone thinks of me - including my boss or other supposed "important" people in my life. I can't think of anyone's opinion I value more than my own.

So if anyone wants to waste their breath by going off of me, be my guest. I'm too busy considering the source, finding it amusing that anyone would lose their cool trying to tell me something, and then wondering when they'll be done.