For the guys ... is ignoring the best way?

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  • ncahill77
    ncahill77 Posts: 501 Member
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    I always liked the direct but not clingy approach as in "I like you, you have a shot with me but I won't be chasing you, your move" that pretty much leaves it all up to the guy and let's you pursue but back off all at the same time. There is no misinterpreting that.
  • cg2cop
    cg2cop Posts: 2 Member
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    Just tell the truth
  • down_ell_beez
    down_ell_beez Posts: 23 Member
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    Honestly don't flat out ignore a guy. But don't make it so easy and available. That is definitely when I become uninterested in a girl. If she is too easy it makes it seem like she's desperate.
  • ErinBeth7
    ErinBeth7 Posts: 1,625 Member
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    He knows I like him ... that is not as issue.

    Then what's the issue?

    Sometimes he seems interested ... other times he doesn't. It seems the more I talk to him, the more he backs off. The more I back off, the more he talks to me. So then my friends told me to just ignore him ... and I'm clueless. My thinking is if I ignore him, he'll think I'm no longer interested. I'm so confused.

    Hmm... It seems he's getting advice from the same people as you.

    LOL - sounds that way to me too.

    Just get it over with and ask the guy out if you like him. Like ripping off a band aid... it can be painful to put yourself out there - but in the end you'll have your answer good or bad. If he says yes - great! If he says no - chalk it up to his loss and move on. No more confusion.

    Wonderful advice!! I've mostly had luck when I come forward. The one time I didn't was because he just didn't want a girlfriend....with anyone! So, be brave.
  • willidewbaby
    willidewbaby Posts: 27
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    First guys are not that smart to think "is she playing hard to get?" And then like everyone else said, who has time to play games.
  • onefitdiva
    onefitdiva Posts: 331 Member
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    I am a woman not a guy, so pardon me posting please. But I have a lot of adult nephews (6) and live by a fire station where I know the men very well, so they ask me about women and what's up with us or "what our deal is"..... They hate games, they also hate clingy women who text every 30 seconds. From what I can gather from them, be natural but be direct....once.... if there is no reply then he is not interested. But don't play with him to see if he will come running, I know men who have figured this tactic out and avoid the woman on purpose, finding the chase me thing a bit lame. Sorry if that was blunt. I am not always the best at getting a point across subtly. :ohwell:
  • rocketmouse
    rocketmouse Posts: 143 Member
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    He knows I like him ... that is not as issue.

    Then what's the issue?

    Sometimes he seems interested ... other times he doesn't. It seems the more I talk to him, the more he backs off. The more I back off, the more he talks to me. So then my friends told me to just ignore him ... and I'm clueless. My thinking is if I ignore him, he'll think I'm no longer interested. I'm so confused.

    Real talk: He sounds awful. I'm not sure what you think will be better in your life if you somehow "win" this guy's affections but this is one of the hallmarks of emotional unavailability and you need to save your energy and emotions for someone who's not going to **** around
  • bjs06
    bjs06 Posts: 316 Member
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    Don't ignore him...but don't hang off him either. I just read "Why Men Love B!tches" and it made sense...appear busy, if he wants to go out Wednesday night, ask him if he can do Friday instead because you have blah blah blah to do. Appear independant, not needy.

    I disagree. Dont appear busy - BE busy. Fill your life with things you love, be independent. Eventually you and a good guy (who you don't have to write to mfp to ask advice on) will find each other.
  • 12skipafew99100
    12skipafew99100 Posts: 1,669 Member
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    Letting him chase you is never a bad idea, but you wont try if he doesnt even have a clue that you're interested.

    Flirt a little, let him know you brought your trunks to the pool party, then back off and see if he responds.

    lol This^ this sounds right from a girl
  • DaveJ_43
    DaveJ_43 Posts: 139 Member
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    I think, Ignoring is NOT the best way. When I was single, if women ignored me I assumed she was not open to a relationship. Let him know you are interested in a low-key way. You'll know immediately if he want to pursue a romantic relationship and you won't be left wondering. Good luck. Hope Cupid strikes!
  • ganesha303
    ganesha303 Posts: 257 Member
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    Don't ignore him...but don't hang off him either. I just read "Why Men Love B!tches" and it made sense...appear busy, if he wants to go out Wednesday night, ask him if he can do Friday instead because you have blah blah blah to do. Appear independant, not needy.

    Thanks for reminding me of one of the many reasons I am happy to not be in the dating pool. But back when I was "on the market", if I felt like a lady was playing these kinds of games, I'd drop her like a bad habit. I am all about keeping it real. Honesty, Integrity, open communication!
  • RaeLB
    RaeLB Posts: 1,216 Member
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    He knows I like him ... that is not as issue.

    Then what's the issue?

    Sometimes he seems interested ... other times he doesn't. It seems the more I talk to him, the more he backs off. The more I back off, the more he talks to me. So then my friends told me to just ignore him ... and I'm clueless. My thinking is if I ignore him, he'll think I'm no longer interested. I'm so confused.

    Ask him what is going on. Say you're interested but you're getting mixed signals from him. That should clear things up.
    I'm a big fan of communication. Oh how the world would be a much simpler place.
  • RaeLB
    RaeLB Posts: 1,216 Member
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    double post oops
  • rocketmouse
    rocketmouse Posts: 143 Member
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    Don't ignore him...but don't hang off him either. I just read "Why Men Love B!tches" and it made sense...appear busy, if he wants to go out Wednesday night, ask him if he can do Friday instead because you have blah blah blah to do. Appear independant, not needy.

    I disagree. Dont appear busy - BE busy. Fill your life with things you love, be independent. Eventually you and a good guy (who you don't have to write to mfp to ask advice on) will find each other.

    RIGHT. ON.
  • warmachinejt
    warmachinejt Posts: 2,167 Member
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    if a girl ignores me...it means she is not interested
    imagine this... what other way can i know a girl is not interested other than her ignoring me? if he knows you like him and ignores you he doesn't like you (or is that much into you) or is a little kiddie playing with you
  • Secret_Agent_007
    Secret_Agent_007 Posts: 1,082
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    People always want what they think they can't have. It's human nature. I wouldn't suggest ignoring him but playing hard to get certainly will keep the chase on. If he's really into you.
  • JulieBoBoo
    JulieBoBoo Posts: 642
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    I'm not a guy, but direct worked for me. Begin as you mean to go on is my view.
  • Smuterella
    Smuterella Posts: 1,623 Member
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    Just be yourself, the problem with playing games is that, if someone falls for you they are falling for the false front you put on to play those games. You want someone to want you for YOU, not a pretend version of you that you wear to try and reel them in.
  • itsuki
    itsuki Posts: 520 Member
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    Ah yes, there's no better way to start a relationship than with manipulation and mind games.
  • DaveJ_43
    DaveJ_43 Posts: 139 Member
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    He knows I like him ... that is not as issue.

    Then what's the issue?

    Sometimes he seems interested ... other times he doesn't. It seems the more I talk to him, the more he backs off. The more I back off, the more he talks to me. So then my friends told me to just ignore him ... and I'm clueless. My thinking is if I ignore him, he'll think I'm no longer interested. I'm so confused.

    Ohhh - If he is backing off when you give him your attention, he is probably not the guy for you, sweetie. You should back off yourself, and start looking for other relationship possibilities.

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