Were you ever bullied in school for being overweight? How di

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  • jenng38
    jenng38 Posts: 105
    I was bullied relentlessly from 6th grade until senior year in high school. My worst memory was in middle school-- a group of girls surrounded me and started barking. The worst part of that was not the girls but it was when I caught a glimpse of the teachers watching and laughing. It was the middle of my senior year when I finally had enough and I put a boy (who had been the source of the bullying) into a wall and held him there by his shirt. No one saw except for his friends who laughed at him for being man handled by a girl. I didn't have any problems after that. It really sucks and I am glad that bullying is finally being recognized as a serious problem. I really feel for any kid who is going through it.
  • MaximalLife
    MaximalLife Posts: 2,447 Member
    When I was 11 years old, I got fat was was teased unmercifully by others, including my father and brothers,
    That was enough!
    I was like Rocky [play the music], and I worked out - lost the fat.
    And I was fit - peak condition as a teen on up to age 39 where I ballooned up for the first time after a back injury.
    I worked off the fat - peak condition again, then - BANG - age 46 - head injury with severe brain trauma.
    I bloated up to my highest weight: 265 lbs - OUCH!

    I did what has always worked, and today, I am 194 heading back to 185 - peak condition.

    I can still hear and feel every old would inflicted on me as a fat child.
    That is a large part of my motivation.
    It still hurts.

    im sorry you had to go through that =(
    Not me.
    Hard times and pain makes us stronger; it builds character.
    I just hate that the world is such a cruel place, but it is. And we must all face these challenges as they come.
    Now that I know how people are and how the world works, I make it work for me.
    People should beware the monsters they create.
    I have found my place, took my little piece of life's action, and all is well.

    Nobody's going to hurt me today without consequence.
  • Apazman
    Apazman Posts: 494 Member
    I was bullied for years until about 7th grade and I hit one kid in the face with a metal basket from the gym lockers.

    Sometimes, you just have to spill blood to make peace.

    Violence is only language that some people understand.

    You can try to ignore it .. or do something about it!,

    People are a-holes, time to correct the behavior

    I don't have kids but I have always thought about this way, If my kid got suspended or in trouble for fighting at school:
    Severe punishment - They started the fight
    Moderate punishment - They were defending themselves
    No punishment - they were defending a friend who can't stand up for themselves or if it was thier sibling.
  • jenng38
    jenng38 Posts: 105
    And one more thing...when a child experiences bullying for any length of time is shapes their personality. It stays with you for your whole life and it can be extremely damaging. Some are more affected than others, but for the most part it definitely shapes the kind of person you become. I tend to be mistrustful of people, but I seem to be getting better with that. It ruined my self esteem for a while, but I have managed to recover that as well. Sometimes the kids has to fight back in order for it to stop. They used to say "just ignore it" but that never works. Maximalife...I am sorry you feel that way. Yes I would agree that hard times make you stronger, but in the case of bullying there have been psychological studies that show this is not the case. Nowadays it is even worse because bullying at school leads to cyber bullying and there have been an increase in teen suicides. This particular problem never makes people stronger. If you were bullied and you feel like it made you stronger, then I would suggest your brain processed everything differently from the start and maybe it was not as devastating to you as it might be to another child. I don't mean to disrespect what you are saying, but I couldn't let this go because I am a psychology student and we have talked this issue to death. I am not in any way suggesting that I am an expert, but as someone who was severely bullied, I just had to make that point :)
  • When I was 11 years old, I got fat was was teased unmercifully by others, including my father and brothers,
    That was enough!
    I was like Rocky [play the music], and I worked out - lost the fat.
    And I was fit - peak condition as a teen on up to age 39 where I ballooned up for the first time after a back injury.
    I worked off the fat - peak condition again, then - BANG - age 46 - head injury with severe brain trauma.
    I bloated up to my highest weight: 265 lbs - OUCH!

    I did what has always worked, and today, I am 194 heading back to 185 - peak condition.

    I can still hear and feel every old would inflicted on me as a fat child.
    That is a large part of my motivation.
    It still hurts.

    im sorry you had to go through that =(
    Not me.
    Hard times and pain makes us stronger; it builds character.
    I just hate that the world is such a cruel place, but it is. And we must all face these challenges as they come.
    Now that I know how people are and how the world works, I make it work for me.
    People should beware the monsters they create.
    I have found my place, took my little piece of life's action, and all is well.

    Nobody's going to hurt me today without consequence.

    ^^^ like like like like
  • PhatAndy
    PhatAndy Posts: 285
    I had an uncle that started calling me Chubs when I was in second grade. In my eyes, he was a grown up and I believed him, even when others told me different. I mean why would he keep telling me that if it wasn't true. Well in second grade I was not chubby. In fact, I was not chubby until sometime in high school. However, I always felt fat and self-conscious. I am by nature an introverted person. This probably worsened that a bit.

    I was very bitter towards this uncle for a long time, thinking why would an adult do that to a child, because even when I cried he didn't stop. Then one day it hit me. My uncle, the one I thought was so grown up, was 13-14 years old when I was in second grade. I had let the comments of some punk *kitten* kid bother me my whole life!

    I am still very self conscious but I am working on it.

    I have faith you will overcome =)
  • PhatAndy
    PhatAndy Posts: 285
    Wasn't bullied too badly- only by a couple specific people, but i was an outcast until the summer before senior year.
    Freshman year: got a skateboard swung at my face because i was "already ugly anyways and it might fix me"
    sophmore: got my braces- god that was fun
    junior: ditched by my date as a joke on homecoming
    summer between junior and senior year: got cut (lost 35 pounds), grew my hair out long(i'd had it cut like a "rockers" short in back, long up front and dyed red purple- went blonde), braces off, lost the acne, changed how i dressed and held myself
    senior year and beyond: hottie-with-a-body who has a complete hatered of bullies (completely the one to call people out on being an *kitten*)
    Now? 3 years later? I haven't been to my hometown for more than a week since I graduated. Usually people don't recognize me
    ***all of these are the reasons for my obsession with the poem invictus***


    What an awful expirience, has this changed you at all? your mind how you think? Do you have compassion for others are you sensitive towards it?

    I'm now EXTREMELY guarded when first meeting people. I can even come off as abrasive or just really quiet- i honestly had never even had a boyfriend until 4 months ago (took me along time to get over that people weren't talking to me or saying things in a secretly teasing way like the homecoming experience). It definitely left some wounds. My boyfriend says trying to get me on a date was like coaxing an baby animal (yeah- not a fan of the comparison) because he had to be so careful.

    I'm also very very very defensive of people, especially girls, who talk badly about themselves or each other- i am always complimenting (sincerely) my friends and the people i'm closest to

    I hear you on the defensive part, i struggle with it bigtime. see the negative in things and take things as an insult when they arent
  • kammy92
    kammy92 Posts: 408 Member
    Yes I was in school, from about 4th grade to 7th.....................kids can be the cruelest that's all I'll say......................still scarred to this day!!!!!!!!:frown: :frown:
  • PhatAndy
    PhatAndy Posts: 285
    Yes I was in school, from about 4th grade to 7th.....................kids can be the cruelest that's all I'll say......................still scarred to this day!!!!!!!!:frown: :frown:

    PEOPLE can be cruel, it doesent always stop right after school!
  • tabithajoyy
    tabithajoyy Posts: 680 Member
    I absolutly was bullied. I was chubby from elementary-HS & now. I didnt have many friends in school but a few close girl friends It really has scard me, even to this day. I am so self-concious, not confident. Unfortunatly my marriage suffers some because of MY issues. Mainly boys made fun of me in school. Calling me every name you can think of. Making piggy noises (i have a piggy nose), even once i was drinking from the drinking fountain and they said Hey, save some water for the whales and said wait, you are a whale. Ouch! I can't even remember all the rude comments. I do remember i absolutly HATED co-ed gym time. Esp if it was dodge ball day. I was always too slow to run away from the ball and it'd bounce off of me sooo far and kids would laugh so hard and make fun of me for not being able to run. In a way that did motivate me, i will RUN some day. I cant wait to some day be thin & fit and prove to all of them i made it.

    ps my sister always bullied me too. she was mean and called me fat and made fun if my rolls showed etc.
  • HeikkiLaukkanen
    HeikkiLaukkanen Posts: 123 Member
    Wow lots of painful stories here. I too am glad that bullying is being put under the spotlight.

    I was a chubby kid. But a chubby active kid, never a couch potato. I remember lots of unkind comments. One in particular during junior high where it was pointed out that my "moobs" were larger than many of the girls starter breasts. I was fortunate that I was smart and a great student and could fall back on that as a backstop for my self esteem. I kept trying though. I started football in the 8th grade and worked out in the off-season every year. Eventually I leaned out in high school and made all conference offense and defense, and I was wrestling team captain, student body vice president, and valedictorian (disclaimer: it was a small school). Most of my antagonists I came to realize were making up for their own insecurities. By my senior year I could say I wasn't always liked by everybody but I was well respected.

    Even this many years later I'm still of the baseline mindset that I'm overweight at 18% bodyfat. The upside was the harassment made me determined to succeed at everything.
  • PhatAndy
    PhatAndy Posts: 285
    I absolutly was bullied. I was chubby from elementary-HS & now. I didnt have many friends in school but a few close girl friends It really has scard me, even to this day. I am so self-concious, not confident. Unfortunatly my marriage suffers some because of MY issues. Mainly boys made fun of me in school. Calling me every name you can think of. Making piggy noises (i have a piggy nose), even once i was drinking from the drinking fountain and they said Hey, save some water for the whales and said wait, you are a whale. Ouch! I can't even remember all the rude comments. I do remember i absolutly HATED co-ed gym time. Esp if it was dodge ball day. I was always too slow to run away from the ball and it'd bounce off of me sooo far and kids would laugh so hard and make fun of me for not being able to run. In a way that did motivate me, i will RUN some day. I cant wait to some day be thin & fit and prove to all of them i made it.

    How has this changed you emotionally? What is your personality like?
  • PhatAndy
    PhatAndy Posts: 285
    Wow lots of painful stories here. I too am glad that bullying is being put under the spotlight.

    I was a chubby kid. But a chubby active kid, never a couch potato. I remember lots of unkind comments. One in particular during junior high where it was pointed out that my "moobs" were larger than many of the girls starter breasts. I was fortunate that I was smart and a great student and could fall back on that as a backstop for my self esteem. I kept trying though. I started football in the 8th grade and worked out in the off-season every year. Eventually I leaned out in high school and made all conference offense and defense, and I was wrestling team captain, student body vice president, and valedictorian (disclaimer: it was a small school). Most of my antagonists I came to realize were making up for their own insecurities. By my senior year I could say I wasn't always liked by everybody but I was well respected.

    Even this many years later I'm still of the baseline mindset that I'm overweight at 18% bodyfat. The upside was the harassment made me determined to succeed at everything.

    Right on man, that is damn good dedication right there!
  • Mine started in the 7th grade. I would ride the bus to and from school. The boys on the bus would always call me big mona and say really mean things about me. There were countless times wheren I just went home and cried. I remember always dreading the bus because I never knew what they were going to say about me. The one thing I remember very well was I asked this gut that lived down the street from me why the fire truck came down our road the night before and to fit in with the crowd he said its because you ate a house. I never forgot that. My eight grade year I got sick and lost most of the weight. The crazy thing is when I got to high school I got reunited with one of the guys that bullied me on the bus and we wound up dating for about a year and a half. I did gain back everything I lost and then some. In which the guy I was dating was very mean and would always talk about my weight. We did finally break up and again I lost most of the weight. After the 10th grade I learned to ignore it, and after that it pretty much went away. By the 11th grade some of the people that bullied me became my friends and the others well I never spoke to again. I do believe that with time some people change (not all but some).
  • PhatAndy
    PhatAndy Posts: 285
    Mine started in the 7th grade. I would ride the bus to and from school. The boys on the bus would always call me big mona and say really mean things about me. There were countless times wheren I just went home and cried. I remember always dreading the bus because I never knew what they were going to say about me. The one thing I remember very well was I asked this gut that lived down the street from me why the fire truck came down our road the night before and to fit in with the crowd he said its because you ate a house. I never forgot that. My eight grade year I got sick and lost most of the weight. The crazy thing is when I got to high school I got reunited with one of the guys that bullied me on the bus and we wound up dating for about a year and a half. I did gain back everything I lost and then some. In which the guy I was dating was very mean and would always talk about my weight. We did finally break up and again I lost most of the weight. After the 10th grade I learned to ignore it, and after that it pretty much went away. By the 11th grade some of the people that bullied me became my friends and the others well I never spoke to again. I do believe that with time some people change (not all but some).

    Yes, Some, not all. I hear you there.
  • PhatAndy
    PhatAndy Posts: 285
    Some girls in middle school used to call me Shamu. Then the guy I lost my virginity to told people really rude things concerning my weight (after the fact, of course.) I'm not sure I ever got over that stuff. It doesn't sting like it used to, but one of those girls sent me a friend request on FB. I laughed heartily and ignored the request. You would think after all these years (15 to be exact) I would assume those girls had said those things just because they were young and heartless and let bygones be bygones, but no, that *kitten* can kiss my *kitten*.
    Amen!
  • natika33
    natika33 Posts: 154 Member
    Bullied, treated like complete crap, however you want to put it, yup.
    I was hospitalized in grade 7 and came back with quite a bit of weight gain due to lack of exercise and just in general being depressed. I was to ill to go to school but when I returned in grade 8, I was bullied a lot. I felt I had no friends but I took the bullying because, in my opinion, they were right. 5'4'' and 195 pounds, I was the heaviest girl in my class. I also got various insults such as that my nose makes me look like a witch, and that even if I lost weight I'd still be an ugly pig.
    By grade 10, the "teasing" as my councillor called it got worse. People physically attacked me more than once, and while I wanted to tell someone about it, my parents intimidated me. I felt (and still do) like if I told them what went on, they'd call me a failure and compare me to my sister who they say is dead to them, and that was the last thing I needed to hear. So I went through all of it on my own, my councillor's only encouragement being, "they're doing it to make you stronger. Its a lesson from God."
    When a rumour started going out that I was pregnant - which, being a virgin, I obviously wasn't! - I couldn't take it anymore. People started calling me obscene names and some boys took it far enough to throw pennies at me and say that's all I was worth.
    I dropped out. But I'm finishing my last year at home now [a bit late], though its hard with all the little encouragement that I get.

    Not that it really matters. No one has ever cared in the past or will care in the future but I may as well vent a little on MFP. Life has, and will always, suck.

    It sounds like you had a lot of crap happen to you and you deserve a good venting! Having been in a bad spot myself for years and years though and having overcome it, I have to tell you that life doesn't suck. It does get better.

    You've already made it this far on your own and that's awesome. Winston Churchill had a saying that if you are going through hell you should keep going. If you stop, you'll stay there forever, no? You have to keep going to come out the other side.

    It might be difficult, but you are now finishing up your diploma and you are on MFP losing weight. Don't let all those people who were mean to you win! The best revenge in the world is success.

    I thought life sucked too, but I was wrong. (^_~)
  • LelliAmi
    LelliAmi Posts: 327 Member
    I was overweight when i was in elementary and grade 7. grade 8 i started losing weight, but up until then i was bullied sooo badly. it didn't help at all that my A.D.D hindered my social skills. I never really coped with it. Even now, everything people said to me stays with me in my head. I'm working hard to prove those *kitten* wrong.
  • PhatAndy
    PhatAndy Posts: 285
    I was overweight when i was in elementary and grade 7. grade 8 i started losing weight, but up until then i was bullied sooo badly. it didn't help at all that my A.D.D hindered my social skills. I never really coped with it. Even now, everything people said to me stays with me in my head. I'm working hard to prove those *kitten* wrong.

    So much faith in you girl. you can do it! =)
  • godricshollow
    godricshollow Posts: 274 Member
    I was probably a little below average weight in primary/elementary school but that was because I was really active combined with being tall and lanky. Then in high school I was the polar opposite - extremely overweight due to an eating disorder. I was picked on pretty bad, mostly because I went to a performing arts school therefore surrounded by dancers who thought they were doing me some kind of favour by informing me that I was fat. I was okay with it for the most part, but that was only because I had two really great and supportive friends (well, I had more than two friends of course but those two are standout and the ONLY people I talk to from high school now) who were with me through it.

    The worst of the bullying was probably in 10th grade because I had the misfortune of being in the same gym class as the people who bullied me and none of my friends were in that class. Oy vey. Worst timetable ever! This one guy was the worst, he called me a "stupid fat ****" when we were playing softball. Ironically he found me on Facebook years later and thought it would be a great idea to not only add me, but somehow get my number and ask me out on a date. Obviously said no but lol, some people.
  • Your Story Is So Profound...Thank You For Sharing...

    in Elementary for being chubby, poor and having the same haircut as my brother (thanks a lot step-mother)

    in Middle School for being chubby and different. The school hottie heard I had a crush on him, walked by me in the hallway with all his friends and called my a "hephyr"...bad day. also I liked all sorts of music and all sorts of people: the "stoners" called me a Poser.

    in High School, I was still chubby and quiet and kind of a bookworm...I guess I just wasn't "cool" enough.

    Since then, from co-workers, I have been bullied for not being confident or brave....

    Seriously???

    Whey will people stop trying to hurt other people to make themselves feel better???
    What happened to treating people the way you want to be treated??? :-/
  • PhatAndy
    PhatAndy Posts: 285
    I was probably a little below average weight in primary/elementary school but that was because I was really active combined with being tall and lanky. Then in high school I was the polar opposite - extremely overweight due to an eating disorder. I was picked on pretty bad, mostly because I went to a performing arts school therefore surrounded by dancers who thought they were doing me some kind of favour by informing me that I was fat. I was okay with it for the most part, but that was only because I had two really great and supportive friends (well, I had more than two friends of course but those two are standout and the ONLY people I talk to from high school now) who were with me through it.

    The worst of the bullying was probably in 10th grade because I had the misfortune of being in the same gym class as the people who bullied me and none of my friends were in that class. Oy vey. Worst timetable ever! This one guy was the worst, he called me a "stupid fat ****" when we were playing softball. Ironically he found me on Facebook years later and thought it would be a great idea to not only add me, but somehow get my number and ask me out on a date. Obviously said no but lol, some people.

    Im sure he did! you are absolutely stunning, the feeling of telling him NO WAY must have felt pretty good! How have things been since then?
  • PhatAndy
    PhatAndy Posts: 285
    Your Story Is So Profound...Thank You For Sharing...

    in Elementary for being chubby, poor and having the same haircut as my brother (thanks a lot step-mother)

    in Middle School for being chubby and different. The school hottie heard I had a crush on him, walked by me in the hallway with all his friends and called my a "hephyr"...bad day. also I liked all sorts of music and all sorts of people: the "stoners" called me a Poser.

    in High School, I was still chubby and quiet and kind of a bookworm...I guess I just wasn't "cool" enough.

    Since then, from co-workers, I have been bullied for not being confident or brave....

    Seriously???

    Whey will people stop trying to hurt other people to make themselves feel better???
    What happened to treating people the way you want to be treated??? :-/

    Its awful! People say kids can be cruel, EVERYONE can be cruel.. Its funny yesterday i posted on that thread "Say somthing nice about the person above you" Thread... I thought it would be a mistake and it was.. I ended up completely shutting the thread down for 10 minutes, going from 50 people constantly hitting refresh to being abandoned, because nobody had anything at all to say nice about me. I took it upon myself to write the following.

    Well I would like to say you are a very handsome man and you have the potential to be a tank when you meet your goal! And then maybe people wont be so judgemental of your looks anymore"

    Guilt trip seemed to work cuz the thread fired up again haha.
  • I was "husky" in high school and when I was a freshman I had a senior try to give me crap about it. Bad move... I bounced him off a couple of lockers and he got a nice shiner from the deal. I got a 3 day suspension but I never got any crap again for the rest of my hs days.
    Man I thought about that so many times....I still think I have anger issues because of it.
  • Your Story Is So Profound...Thank You For Sharing...

    in Elementary for being chubby, poor and having the same haircut as my brother (thanks a lot step-mother)

    in Middle School for being chubby and different. The school hottie heard I had a crush on him, walked by me in the hallway with all his friends and called my a "hephyr"...bad day. also I liked all sorts of music and all sorts of people: the "stoners" called me a Poser.

    in High School, I was still chubby and quiet and kind of a bookworm...I guess I just wasn't "cool" enough.

    Since then, from co-workers, I have been bullied for not being confident or brave....

    Seriously???

    Whey will people stop trying to hurt other people to make themselves feel better???
    What happened to treating people the way you want to be treated??? :-/

    Its awful! People say kids can be cruel, EVERYONE can be cruel.. Its funny yesterday i posted on that thread "Say somthing nice about the person above you" Thread... I thought it would be a mistake and it was.. I ended up completely shutting the thread down for 10 minutes, going from 50 people constantly hitting refresh to being abandoned, because nobody had anything at all to say nice about me. I took it upon myself to write the following.

    Well I would like to say you are a very handsome man and you have the potential to be a tank when you meet your goal! And then maybe people wont be so judgemental of your looks anymore"

    Guilt trip seemed to work cuz the thread fired up again haha.
    Well I think you are BRAVE and AMAZING.....Telling your story helps people Heal....that is a Beautiful Gift.
    Thanks Again!!
  • Weebles03
    Weebles03 Posts: 8 Member
    I have been bullied all of my life up until I reached to age of 21 myself. I remember all the names they called me. It was anything from porkchop to lard butt, you named it I was called it. I almost felt like I didn't have an identity anymore. I remember one time this one girl didn't like me at all just because I was a big girl and she spat on the back of my neck. Another guy pulled the chair out from underneath me for no aparent reason. During all through my schools year I didn't deal with it very much, I just took it and believed them and took the scars in my heart with it. Today though I have overcome on handling people who make fun of me. I instead show them love and compassion and it seem to really work out for me, but I can say I can't wait for this weight to start coming off. I am so sick of breaking things in my parents household because of this weight, and it'd be nice to sit in a booth of a restaurant again.
  • PhatAndy
    PhatAndy Posts: 285
    I have been bullied all of my life up until I reached to age of 21 myself. I remember all the names they called me. It was anything from porkchop to lard butt, you named it I was called it. I almost felt like I didn't have an identity anymore. I remember one time this one girl didn't like me at all just because I was a big girl and she spat on the back of my neck. Another guy pulled the chair out from underneath me for no aparent reason. During all through my schools year I didn't deal with it very much, I just took it and believed them and took the scars in my heart with it. Today though I have overcome on handling people who make fun of me. I instead show them love and compassion and it seem to really work out for me, but I can say I can't wait for this weight to start coming off. I am so sick of breaking things in my parents household because of this weight, and it'd be nice to sit in a booth of a restaurant again.

    Oh man, I hear you about the reastraunt booth. so embarasing.. Especially at subway, they have pre designed booths and when i go there with a bunch of friends to eat in they are like Sit down andy! and im like nahhh... im okay. (Legs super tired).
  • godricshollow
    godricshollow Posts: 274 Member
    I was probably a little below average weight in primary/elementary school but that was because I was really active combined with being tall and lanky. Then in high school I was the polar opposite - extremely overweight due to an eating disorder. I was picked on pretty bad, mostly because I went to a performing arts school therefore surrounded by dancers who thought they were doing me some kind of favour by informing me that I was fat. I was okay with it for the most part, but that was only because I had two really great and supportive friends (well, I had more than two friends of course but those two are standout and the ONLY people I talk to from high school now) who were with me through it.

    The worst of the bullying was probably in 10th grade because I had the misfortune of being in the same gym class as the people who bullied me and none of my friends were in that class. Oy vey. Worst timetable ever! This one guy was the worst, he called me a "stupid fat ****" when we were playing softball. Ironically he found me on Facebook years later and thought it would be a great idea to not only add me, but somehow get my number and ask me out on a date. Obviously said no but lol, some people.

    Im sure he did! you are absolutely stunning, the feeling of telling him NO WAY must have felt pretty good! How have things been since then?

    Thank you! I actually felt bad for about two seconds, especially because he apologized for being so horrible, but y'know. End of the day he made me pretty upset in high school so too bad for him :p Things have been better for the most part. A few hiccups along the way but I consider myself recovered and I have a very healthy relationship with food :D
  • Apazman
    Apazman Posts: 494 Member
    "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." - Eleanor Roosevelt

    Inspiring words to live by....
    yep, but as my friend Phil once said...

    "I will probably not win the fight, but Ill sure as hell break his nose!" - Phillip Martin
  • Cold_Steel
    Cold_Steel Posts: 897 Member
    I learned early on that you just make an example out of people quickly and effectively. From about 3rd grade until high school I was kind of the kid that beat up the bullies.

    A lot of people say that violence is not the answer, but it sure was for me. Some one would make fun of me and I would just knock them out right there right then. The only time it really got to me was when a girl would say it, that would break my heart. As I got older I realized that the people in life that say that crap are really just not happy with themselves and use the bullying as a coping mechanism for their own failures too make themselves feel better.
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