Were you ever bullied in school for being overweight? How di
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I learned early on that you just make an example out of people quickly and effectively. From about 3rd grade until high school I was kind of the kid that beat up the bullies.
A lot of people say that violence is not the answer, but it sure was for me. Some one would make fun of me and I would just knock them out right there right then. The only time it really got to me was when a girl would say it, that would break my heart. As I got older I realized that the people in life that say that crap are really just not happy with themselves and use the bullying as a coping mechanism for their own failures too make themselves feel better.
Violence is NOT the answer .... its the Questsion .... YES is the answer!0 -
As I got older I realized that the people in life that say that crap are really just not happy with themselves and use the bullying as a coping mechanism for their own failures too make themselves feel better.
^Truth.
I am 6 foot 8 and over 400 pounds, you would think people wouldnt mess around with me, but I am a gentle giant, the idea of violence makes me sick to my stomache, some people are born for it, some aren't0 -
Violence is NOT the answer .... its the Questsion .... YES is the answer!
I am a fan of "violence is not the answer, I got it wrong on purpose"
or ...
"Violence is not the answer, sure it is, see... you didn't ask me another question after that.."0 -
As I got older I realized that the people in life that say that crap are really just not happy with themselves and use the bullying as a coping mechanism for their own failures too make themselves feel better.
^Truth.
I am 6 foot 8 and over 400 pounds, you would think people wouldnt mess around with me, but I am a gentle giant, the idea of violence makes me sick to my stomache, some people are born for it, some aren't
The interesting part about what you said is why I think people get bullied. They fact is you are a big dude, when people realize they can push your buttons and you don't push back they get this sense of accomplishment and make their small minded actions and personality seem so strong and important. It is like the napoleon complex.... yeah I pick on a dude that is 5 times my size so therefore I am more masculine and stronger than he is and blah blah blah...
Yeah, I didn't have to do much with the violence.... It was really one kid a year or every two years that was made "the example" once that occurred no one picked on me due to the reputation that followed.0 -
I guess I might be the exception, I was never bullied in grade or highschool. And I was a big big girl.
The first tease I remember is my first year of college. Walking down the hall and hearing "boom boom boom." I don't remember being hurt by it, just pondering on how very childish they were.
I think they are going to revoke my middle child status for not being scarred enough.0 -
LOVE this QUOTE!!!"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." - Eleanor Roosevelt
Inspiring words to live by....
yep, but as my friend Phil once said...
"I will probably not win the fight, but Ill sure as hell break his nose!" - Phillip Martin0 -
You're My Freakin' Hero!!I guess I might be the exception, I was never bullied in grade or highschool. And I was a big big girl.
The first tease I remember is my first year of college. Walking down the hall and hearing "boom boom boom." I don't remember being hurt by it, just pondering on how very childish they were.
I think they are going to revoke my middle child status for not being scarred enough.0 -
wow. its crazy what people say to other people to make themselves feel better. i remember when i was like 7 years old i told one of my aunts i wanted to be a ballerina and she started to laugh until she got tears in her eyes and i just sat there looking at her wondering what was so funny. and then shes like omg do you really think you would look nice dancing that you have to loose alot of weight to be a ballerina. i gotta say i use to looove to dance, i still do i just dont do dance in public. lol makes me feel like people are going to make fun of me.
in school i was always tease i remember when i was in middle school, i was walking to the lunch line and some girl yelled out hey you have to go to jenny creig instead of going to that lunch line. and then guys would make fun and say no one would ever want to date a girl like me. everyone in my family always said i have a cute face but that i would always be fat. and i have always been such a shy girl, always afraid to talk and get attention to me. *sigh* but i need to change that now i dont want to be referred to as the girl with thee pretty face anymore.0 -
I was bullied until I quit in the 9th grade, I never remember going home and crying about it because I knew my family and friends were the ones that really mattered but it did hurt. I fell into depression over the summer after 8th grade, and we moved from NJ to FL and I tried school and just couldn't do it, so I dropped out and spent the next few years in a fog of manic depression. I still battle with depression, I don't think being overweight caused it, but it sure hasn't helped.0
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I know people said stuff but I always just tried to ignore it. Some of it was really hurtful though. I come from a really funny family and I learned early on to beat them to the punch. I made fun of myself before others could and I just became the funny fat girl. It was a way to hide all my insecurities, but eventually they caught up to me and it wasn't pretty. Years of soul searching later, I think I turned out ok.
I wouldn't change any of it. I wouldn't be where I am today if I didn't have to go through all of that. I still to try to find humor in the things that bother me the most, but I'm not hiding anymore. I'm just trying to make a living out of it
Of all the stories on here, the ones where the parents teased their own children made me the angriest. Some people shouldn't be allowed to have kids. I was one of the lucky ones, my parents just wanted me to be healthy. My family teases each other a lot but it's all lighthearted and fun. They NEVER touched on my weight because they knew it was something that really bothered me.0 -
These stories have made me kinda sad
I cant actually believe that people / kids can be so nasty. I was always quite lucky in school, never got bullied as my mouth was as big as my *kitten*, but i was always the funny fat girl. NEVER AGAIN!
People can be cruel. not just kids.
Oh i know, thats why i said people SLASH kids, i think with kids its a different kind of cruel. Adults should know better, you are all doing amazing btw x0 -
I was bullied for being "overweight" in school. Although I didnt feel fat I believed it and decided I didnt care so just ate what I liked. I know its not there fault Im overweight now, I take full responsability for that but that definatley didnt help. When I look back on pictures now I realise that I didnt look fat at all, I developed early and always had a large bust and very womanly figure. I suppose next to all the still skinny young girls at school I looked big!0
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I was bullied for my weight in Jr High and in 9th grade, so I shed the weight, muscled up and became an all everything football player, plus I beat the snot out of the guy who was the ringleader bully in the lunch room in front of half my school. But then after football, I let myself fall back out of shape and gained tons of weight and just now getting my confidence back. I let my past be where I came from, but it does not define who I am today. Thanks for sharing.0
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I was bullied from the age of 4 up to the age of 30 when I decided enough was enough. I was beaten up at secondary school (high school) on a regular basis, I was pushed, spat at, things thrown at me and not by just one group of people, and that's just the beginning of what happened to me.
Then through adult life, I had abuse shouted at me as I walked down the street by complete strangers, and again had things thrown at me.
Now I've lost weight, those bullies from school want to be my friend - I'm polite to them when I see them, but say to myself, why should I , they didn't want to be when I was bigger so why now!
People can be so cruel. I'm scarred for life from it, but it has made me the strong, independant woman that I am today and going through that I know I can get through anything. Life is good now and I love it!!
K xx0 -
School was hell for me--I went from being a "normal" sized child to being drastically overweight in the space of one year. I was eight. The taunting and abuse (even from overweight boys--how does that work?) was devastating. By junior high, the bullying was so bad I turned it around and became the "tough girl" who bullied the bullies. That's right, I was the girl who knocked the daylights out of the kids who tortured the other kids. I was still a mess inside, but I came across as funny, strong, and self-confident. Well, and violent--I went through 8 junior highs in a year-and-a-half, most of the expulsions and suspensions due to fighting.
Even my parents took part. My dad handed me a fork, said he was going to drop me off at the city dump for dinner, and made snorting noises. My mother? I was invisible.
By high school, I was done--I sat on my mom's bed with her .38 in my hand for hours, trying to work up the courage to end me. I finally made a deal with myself--I would be "thin" in 6 months or I'd kill myself. Isn't that horrible? I was 15 years old, and ready to end it because people are so rejecting and cruel.
I stopped eating at that point. Began exercising obsessively. I went from 235 lbs to 105 in 6 months. My periods stopped, my gums bled, my hair thinned, but I was no longer a size 20. I was a baggy size one. And those same creeps who treated me so poorly started asking me out. Most of them didn't even realize I was the same girl they'd barked insults at, pointing and laughing. No, I didn't date any of them. By then my father was out of the picture, but my mother fell in love with me. Ribs sticking out, vertebrae protruding, and suddenly she could see me again. I became her Barbie Doll, her clothes hanger, and she took me to all the fancy places to dress me. Yeah, the message was loud and clear.
I kept the weight off for 8 years, but that was 8 years of really unhealthy diet, a lot of starving, bingeing, and starving again. And when the weight came back, it came back hard, fast, and a lot more than I even imagined possible.
I have to say that the bullying didn't stop with high school. College professors who treated me differently heavy than slim, fellow college students who nudged each other and snickered as I walked by. Prospective employers who were so positive and upbeat on the phone but lost all interest in hiring me once they saw how big I was. Teenagers (and grown men) following me through stores making hateful cracks or snorting like pigs. Groups of teenage girls breaking into peals of laughter after looking at me, once even pleading with each other to "please kill me if I ever look like that."
School was just the start. It's where we train kids to grow up to devastate their peers throughout life.
Kris0 -
That's awful I just want to hug you!
When I was in 10th grade there was a group of girls who were always really mean to me. They made fun of me everyday.
They would moo at me when I walked by, once they stuck their foot out so I would trip and they yelled "TIMBER" as I fell on my face. I hated them. One day at the end of the day when everyone was around I went to open my locker and out pours twinkies, little debbie cakes, and oversized undies. I was humiliated.
Funny thing is, two of those girls are now in jail for production and sale of meth. Karma's a B!0 -
And what do you do to cope? has knowing/recognizing this about yourself changed the way you try to interact with people?Wasn't bullied too badly- only by a couple specific people, but i was an outcast until the summer before senior year.
Freshman year: got a skateboard swung at my face because i was "already ugly anyways and it might fix me"
sophmore: got my braces- god that was fun
junior: ditched by my date as a joke on homecoming
summer between junior and senior year: got cut (lost 35 pounds), grew my hair out long(i'd had it cut like a "rockers" short in back, long up front and dyed red purple- went blonde), braces off, lost the acne, changed how i dressed and held myself
senior year and beyond: hottie-with-a-body who has a complete hatered of bullies (completely the one to call people out on being an *kitten*)
Now? 3 years later? I haven't been to my hometown for more than a week since I graduated. Usually people don't recognize me
***all of these are the reasons for my obsession with the poem invictus***
What an awful expirience, has this changed you at all? your mind how you think? Do you have compassion for others are you sensitive towards it?
I'm now EXTREMELY guarded when first meeting people. I can even come off as abrasive or just really quiet- i honestly had never even had a boyfriend until 4 months ago (took me along time to get over that people weren't talking to me or saying things in a secretly teasing way like the homecoming experience). It definitely left some wounds. My boyfriend says trying to get me on a date was like coaxing an baby animal (yeah- not a fan of the comparison) because he had to be so careful.
I'm also very very very defensive of people, especially girls, who talk badly about themselves or each other- i am always complimenting (sincerely) my friends and the people i'm closest to
I hear you on the defensive part, i struggle with it bigtime. see the negative in things and take things as an insult when they arent0 -
Middle school was my worst. I thinned out a bit in High school so it wasn't bad. There was a kid in my middle school who used to TORMENT me. He'd put "Wide Load" stickers on my back pack, tell everyone to run for cover from the earthquake when I'd walk by, etc. Awful.0
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omg Kris I want to hug you too! When I was going through my thing, at least I could go home and get away from it. You couldn't even escape it because the adults in your life were no better! My hat goes off to you for not giving up and being here on this site to do it the healthy way. Keep your chin up and don't ever give up on yourself!
Jenn0 -
I was bullied for being "the fat girl" since the first day of school. It started on the bus ride to school. No one would let me sit down & at 5 years old I had to stand on the bus almost everyday on the ride to school. The bus driver was old & didn't care. To top it off he didn't like me either because I was "the fat girl"
Some teachers were mean to me as well because of my size. They made me sit cross-legged on the floor with all my books piled on top of my legs until I couldn't feel my feet anymore. Nice adult-like behavior, huh?
No matter how much weight I lost from year to year, I was still bigger than the average kid, so they would still bully me terribly.
Finally, I don't know where I got the courage, I told these kids that it just didn't matter what they thought of me because I was going to love myself even if they did not.
I told them that "I can always lose more weight, but not even a plastic surgeon could correct their ugliness!"
After that things weren't as bad in school as they once were before.0 -
I was bullied throughout my entire childhood all the way through high school and am still currently bullied by certain members of my family. It started in first grade and just wouldn't stop. What hurt the most was in 7th grade when I fractured my ankle and couldn't walk. One of the meanest boys in school was moping the floor as punishment and he slammed the mop into my cast, breaking the bottom and thrusting the pieces into the heel of my foot. Then he laughed at me and said something under his breath then kept going. High school wasn't much fun either. I had a small group of friends and was constantly picked on for being the fat girl that couldn't run the mile.
It doesn't help that there are several people in my family that bully me about my weight. My mom, my aunt and my grandma are probably the worst offenders followed by my grandpa. It sucks that I have another year and a half before I can escape these people and head off to college halfway across the country. But I'm making due with what I have, and it helps to have really solid, grounded friends who see past the weight and encourage me to stay on track with my goals.0 -
From my profile...
I have spent my entire life "overweight," "obese," "fat," "heavy," "hefty," "thick" etc. From elementary school, I was called all these names from just about anyone. In third grade, in P.E., we all got our BMI and weight checked. Upon viewing my results, my P.E. coach informed me, without kindness, love or encouragement that I was obese. This along with the comments of other children made had me viewing my body differently. In high school, I took the bus and I had what we call "child-bearing hips." I was probably between 160-180. I had to walk sideways to get to the back of the bus with my friends. Some kids along with the college age bus driver began to harrass me when I got on and off the bus. While walking down the hall in school one of the kids from the bus squirted me with a squirt gun in the hallway and laughed at me. This is where I come from. I let that past haunt me and shape me into this large woman with self-image issues. I tried diets, but failed. I lost motivation when I didn't see results.
On top of this story...I have red hair, glasses & am intelligent. So I got called a fat four eyed *****...in the 4th grade! I ALWAYS got picked last in PE. But you know what....I am 27. I have been married for over 9 years to a faithful husband. I have a 5 year old daughter who is gorgeous and is getting testing for the gifted program in a few months. AND I have a bachelors degree. Those people are likely working at a fast food joint making minimum wage with 3 children with 3 different people and NO education.
About 5 months ago, I was out jogging/walking and these high school boys were walking home from school coming towards me. One of them said, "Excuse me, but my friend over here wants you to know if you'd go out with him." Then they all busted out laughing. Little did they know that my husband was about 50 steps behind them. I said "How about you ask my husband?" then hollered to my husband "Hey baby, these boys want to know if I'll go out with them. They like their women big. mmmmm"
I felt so liberated and powerful. I know people laugh at me when I work out. BUt oh well!0 -
I was bullied because I was "ugly" & the odd one out, I liked metal & was into the skater scene & the other kids weren't.
I got called fat all time, even though when I was at school I wasn't fat at all.
I was bullied in NURSERY! Until a few months before I left High School. Kids are horrible & teachers don't help at all.
I even got called fat by kids that where A LOT bigger than me, so it made me think I was huge & that's how my disordered eating started, so yeah, it's probably going to affect my whole life but Karma will get them back one day.0 -
I got it in middle school and high school, both middle and high school being the worst case. I still know the people that did it to me, and I talk to them, most of them have become obese lol.
To be honest, i don't think you should ever care about what others think of you, just follow your own path, like find what it is that makes you tick and go after it.
For me its powerlifting, and it has gotten me pretty far lol atleast as far as my profile pic
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I was actually bullied for being tall and too skinny................hurts just the same
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I was bullied for being over weight and worse.0
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I got it in middle school and high school, both middle and high school being the worst case. I still know the people that did it to me, and I talk to them, most of them have become obese lol.
To be honest, i don't think you should ever care about what others think of you, just follow your own path, like find what it is that makes you tick and go after it.
For me its powerlifting, and it has gotten me pretty far lol atleast as far as my profile pic
Yeah, almost all of my bullies have become obese or they haven't grown into the pretty little butterflies they thought they'd be.
I'm gonna be successful whilst they're stuck in their counsel houses wishing they where superstars.0 -
QUOTE:
I'm so sorry that happened to you, nobody should go through it, but you're right. It does make a person stronger, or at least some people.
I was made fun of all through school, elementary to 9th grade. I was also very tall, the tallest girl through elementary school (also taller than the boys) and most of middle school, so I got to be the tall 'freak' too. Joy. It was mostly mean kids being mean to me, just rude comments. Middle school I had an arch enemy, he was no prize himself, but his locker was next to mine in an out of the way area and he'd tease me all morning at the lockers, he'd stick cards down the back of my shirt in math class, and it got to the point where we kicked and hit each other once because I was so angry. When I'd ride my bike around our complex during middle school years, high school guys would make fun of me every time I passed them. The worst was when they were throwing eggs and missed me, so I hid by another building. One thing that made a difference, their one friend came over to me and apologized for his friends stupid behavior. It was a tiny glimmer of hope that I clung to. By 9th grade I'd get teased by those same guys every morning when I walked to my first class, but then after a couple of months, miracle of miracles, their one silent friend reamed them out for doing that and I was left alone. A guy in my neighborhood was teasing me later that year when we got off the bus, but his friend finally told him to let it go, it'd been years, he needed to stop. The weird thing is that by my junior year of high school many of these people started being nice to me and even got to be friends.
A small part of me wants to stomp on their foot if they ever mention me getting thin/hot/fit when I reach my goal. I'm not so forgiving as to totally forget the past.
"How has this affected you today? Have you changed as a person is your personality different? Depression anxiety? "
At the time it was all happening I had anxiety and very low self esteem. I still feel nervous having people sit behind me, not that I think anyone will throw things at me anymore, but it makes me nervous. In high school I hit my lowest weight and I looked much better, but I didn't know it at the time, I was still thinking I was so fat because the teasing didn't taper off until later in school.
Right now, at 25 years of age, I feel confident. I know, KNOW, that I can lose the weight and every pound I drop feels like 10 have been lifted from me. I'm not depressed thankfully, and I know I had it better than many other people. What really saved me was those two guys sticking up for me. I think when a bully's peers stand up to them it is incredibly powerful. I couldn't stop smiling when it happened. It showed me that they were being immature and that there was nothing wrong with me, it was all them.
Having a supportive husband, family and great friends helps too. I have never dealt with any of these people being jerks about my weight loss journey. I am very lucky.0 -
I was bullied 1st to 12th grade and I think in college too, but chose to ignore that
I got called "fat", "fatty" "Ha ha, hey my friend likes you!" (<-That pissed me off greatly), and even a group of girls in middle school bullied me personally and poked me in the butt with a pencil while we were heading for our science class (it was horrible x_x). And that continued until maybe 8th grade or something (I think this occurred in 7th grade). High school was really bad, but by then I was immune to the idiots, so I was used to them saying horrible things like they would during my life. And sadly I just kept eating very crappy and NEVER ate breakfast in the morning! (Because I chose not to because "I didn't have time to")
And that group of girls probably did other stuff to me, but I can't remember (because it's not worth remembering!). But one thing that made me VERY upset is a handicap guy (who I wasn't even talking to) decided to jump into my business when I answered my phone to talk to my mom. And though I don't understand too much of Spanish, but I know enough to know that he called my mom fat -_- Believe me, I SEVERELY wanted to kick his *kitten*, but lucky me it's not "in my nature" to do that :explode:
So that's all of my nightmare stories. Didn't go to a point where I got beat up for it, but the verbal abuse and harassment was enough :brokenheart:0 -
For me, I was bullied starting in about 3rd grade until high school. Thankfully, after middle school, I ended up going to a different high school than most of my peers that bullied me, so it tapered off other than a few instances. However, the fact that the bullying often had to do with my weight spiraled me into a world of disordered eating. Going into high school, I finally became proportionate in my body through my height, but a lot of my weightloss was contributed to the disordered eating. I can even remember once when a kid in my high school math class came up to me and told me how much better I looked than middle school, and I really didn't know what to say due to the fact that I know I wasn't getting results in a healthy manner. But in middle school, girls would harass me in the locker room by saying things like I could only wish I had their body or that no guy would ever like a fatass. After awhile, prank phone calls started happening where guys would pretend to like me and then would call me out the next day in front of groups to basically make fun of me. To this day, I still can't dress in front of people or wear a swim suit. On my vacation to Japan a couple years back, I refused to go swimming because of this.
Unfortunately, even now being a senior in college, I still suffer self-confidence issues. Ultimately, my fiance split up with me due to my depression and disordered eating problems. But I don't regret this at all, because it finally pushed me to get the help that I needed. So even to this day, I go to therapy sessions with both a psychologist and psychiatrist to work on this problems ultimately caused by bullying early on in life.0
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