How to deal with racists?

Elzecat · February 2012

On a more practical side,

IF someone is really getting to you. Say, "I'm sorry for that sir or ma'am. Let me get my manager and see if they can help you with that." Then let them deal with it. It's what they get paid for.

Unfortunately, since this is a work situation, I would have to agree with the above. In a customer service position, you have to be polite and respectful to customers even when they aren't polite or respectful to you...

cjonesmenefee · February 2012

I appreciate your courage and enthusiasm. I would like to reccomend a really good book by Allan Johnson ( a white guy) called Privilege, Power and Difference. To answer your question more directly, I would simply say " To make sweeping judgements about someone is (fill in the blank) racist, sexist, bigotry.... Many people good people of all races have fought and died to overcome such ignorance. Please do not expose me to such in my place of business. It is offensive to me." You are protected by harrassment laws - which apply to customers, coworkers, everyone in the United States.

Send me a friend request! I want to learn from you and discover how such a fabulous young woman lost so much weight! Thanks for being you... Rock on!

crimznrose · February 2012

I have a hard time sugar-coating anything I want to say to someone. For instance, the sales rep at my office is the stereotypical conservative Republican Bible-thumping Christian who believes that unless you repent and follow the straight and narrow you're doomed to fire and brimstone. Trouble is, the guy is also a bigot, sexist, racist insensative self-gratifying fool. He's always grated on my nerves, but none so much as after a meeting he had in our showroom with a new client he landed. The contact was a middle aged executive for a large Fortune 500 company. SHE was also black (and yes, I say black as well as African-American....because I'm white as well as Euro-American or mutt or whatever anyone wants to call a mixed ancestry caucasian type). Anyway....after the client left our offices, he had the nerve to call her "that n- woman" (and I do NOT use that word...I think it's derogatory and revile it with a passion).

I couldn't believe my ears - especially that he was talking about HIS client that was getting ready to place a large order with us. After asking him to repeat himself, I went off and pretty much called him everything I described him as in the above paragraph (bigoted, sexist,....) and told him if I ever heard him call anyone that again I would kick his....well you know where it goes from there. I am not a violent person, but when it comes to what is often an ignorent or blind persecution of someone based solely on the color of their skin and not the content of their character I do not mind putting them in their place. To this day, that rep knows I can't stand his presence and any office communication required between us I sent through someone else to avoid talking to him. On the rare occasion I do have to talk to him, I keep it to short emotionless statements and refuse to chat feign pleasantness with him.

(I guess I should add in there that I kind of took his racial slur of his client personally in part because I have cousins who are mixed race, whose father is black and mother is white and I know what they had to grow up with as far as teasing from both sides of the racial pool because they were both and neither race.)

machinegunkate · February 2012

Racism is so prevalent in society, that's just the way it is for now. I'm totally against discrimination of any form, but on the other hand I find stereotypes hilarious. Just the whole idea of pigeon-holing and believing a certain thing about someone because of their origin or sex or sexual orientation - it's crazy to me. So I do laugh at and make sexist and racist jokes - amongst like-minded people. Some people don't get the humor, but honestly I think it's just my way (and perhaps others who are similar) of lightening up about an issue that really upsets me. But if I see or hear genuine racism I get insanely mad sometimes. It s my biggest peeve, well one of them (I have a lot of peeves).

As far as how to deal with it - what can you do really? Voicing your opinion is about as far as you can go with it. Tell them not to speak that way around you. Try not to let it get under your skin if it's as common an occurrence as you're saying, it will only cause you distress, though I know it's hard. :ohwell:

ninerbuff · February 2012

How can you tell if you're racist or not? Ask yourself...................."Would I approve of my child marrying a ______(ethnicity)?"
You'll be honest with yourself and know.

A.C.E. Certified Personal Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

billsica · February 2012

monster trucks are pretty sweet..

^^^ this.

saragato · February 2012

While I try to remain optimistic, I honestly think hatred between races and even religion won't ever truly die down. Sad, but true.

I never really encountered racism until high school and surprisingly I was the subject of it. I'm your standard white female. The second high school I attended (I moved after my freshman year) was in a more urban area and I was 1 of 5 white students in the school and the only white female. I also had an Aunt who was a teacher there. No one really bothered to remember my name, I was "The White Girl" and the two years I attended I kept a 4.0 average and was always going on field trips to represent the school. My classmates said it was because I was white, the teachers were favoring "their own kind", or that my aunt was rigging the books. I was even ridiculed for being a virgin because many of the girls weren't or already had kids. I still get it periodically because the city I live in has a large black and hispanic population.

My boyfriend, who is black and works at Disney World, gets a LOT of racist commentary, mainly from park-goers. There was one incident not long after he started where an older gentleman approached him asking for directions and then the man went berserk, convinced my boyfriend had "touched my food with your dirty n

fingers" and spat in his face. He ended up reprimanded by the manager because he lost his cool and tried going after the man. When you work there, you have to smile and be happy. Any less and you can get fired.

I could go into a bunch of racist things my now ex-best friend said about him (including that he'd let his friends gang rape me) but that's just a lot of personal crap that was part of why I slammed the door in her face. She even gave me a lecture once when I was making a joke that "just because your boyfriend's black doesn't mean you can pretend you are too." I wasn't aware I had to pretend to be another ethnicity, in fact I find it fun to act myself and we compare "stereotype notes".

When I was in highschool and it was just me that was getting insulted, I just rolled with it and even made white jokes because I really have no problem poking fun at myself. When someone insults my boyfriend or any of my friends who are Mexican or Asian or anything else I do stick up for them. Hell I stick up for my Hispanic neighbors from my mother because she's from an older generation and she tends to group mannerisms by race, example being every Mexican is a thief, every black person's a thug or drug dealer. She threatened to disown me if I ever married my man. Long story short there's a lot of ignorant and angry people out there and they're looking for something to point their finger at and say "this is the cause". All you really can do is kill 'em with kindness. Be nice when they're being rude, smile when they frown, and just remember that no matter what, there is always one equalizer: Death.

becoming_a_new_me · February 2012

While I try to remain optimistic, I honestly think hatred between races and even religion won't ever truly die down. Sad, but true.

I never really encountered racism until high school and surprisingly I was the subject of it. I'm your standard white female. The second high school I attended (I moved after my freshman year) was in a more urban area and I was 1 of 5 white students in the school and the only white female. I also had an Aunt who was a teacher there. No one really bothered to remember my name, I was "The White Girl" and the two years I attended I kept a 4.0 average and was always going on field trips to represent the school. My classmates said it was because I was white, the teachers were favoring "their own kind", or that my aunt was rigging the books. I was even ridiculed for being a virgin because many of the girls weren't or already had kids. I still get it periodically because the city I live in has a large black and hispanic population.

My boyfriend, who is black and works at Disney World, gets a LOT of racist commentary, mainly from park-goers. There was one incident not long after he started where an older gentleman approached him asking for directions and then the man went berserk, convinced my boyfriend had "touched my food with your dirty n
fingers" and spat in his face. He ended up reprimanded by the manager because he lost his cool and tried going after the man. When you work there, you have to smile and be happy. Any less and you can get fired.

I could go into a bunch of racist things my now ex-best friend said about him (including that he'd let his friends gang rape me) but that's just a lot of personal crap that was part of why I slammed the door in her face. She even gave me a lecture once when I was making a joke that "just because your boyfriend's black doesn't mean you can pretend you are too." I wasn't aware I had to pretend to be another ethnicity, in fact I find it fun to act myself and we compare "stereotype notes".

When I was in highschool and it was just me that was getting insulted, I just rolled with it and even made white jokes because I really have no problem poking fun at myself. When someone insults my boyfriend or any of my friends who are Mexican or Asian or anything else I do stick up for them. Hell I stick up for my Hispanic neighbors from my mother because she's from an older generation and she tends to group mannerisms by race, example being every Mexican is a thief, every black person's a thug or drug dealer. She threatened to disown me if I ever married my man. Long story short there's a lot of ignorant and angry people out there and they're looking for something to point their finger at and say "this is the cause". All you really can do is kill 'em with kindness. Be nice when they're being rude, smile when they frown, and just remember that no matter what, there is always one equalizer: Death.

When I was young (High School) and before I had helped my parents to see the world differently, my dad told me he'd disown me if I ever married a black guy. I looked him straight in the eye and said 1. You'd have to own something I want for me to care and 2. If that's the way you see the world, I don't think I'd miss you.

Now nearly 15 years later, my parents have a different view of the world and are very accepting of other races. I do think that there is a string of underlying generation-bred indifferences, but they really try to accept all people. My family knows not to make derogitory statements around me. My drunken grandfather made the mistake of saying something about the "N- President" I unloaded a wrath of spew that made him cry. His own granddaughter is bi-racial black, and he will never, ever again use that word in mine or my daughter's presence. I don't care about a person's political views until it becomes racially motivated...then we are gonna talk.

Stupid thing? Grandpa is a HARD CORE democrat. WTF??

LaMujerMasBonitaDelMundo · February 2012

This thread makes me feel sad. No matter what our eyes, skin color, facial structure, height, language, country of origin, religion, etc. we all God's creatures & we all came from one race which is the Human Race. I'm not a religious person but I believe God created all of us equal. We are already in 2012 & yet it seems some people still couldn't outgrown the era of racial discrimination. Remember that our differences are what makes us unique & special to this world we live in. How I wish there would be a law prohibiting such racial stereotyping. Not all Asians are slanted eyed, into kung fu & nerdy. Not all Hispanics/Latinos are illegals, lazy, gang members, doesn't know any English, etc. Not all Blacks are criminals. There are good & bad person for every race & no one ever has a right to judge other people. As they say, you can't spot a speck on other person's eyes without first removing the speck on your own eyes.

dubw · February 2012

One of my sons married a beautiful woman of another race, they have three of the most gorgeous grandchildren. Racists burn me to the bone. Largely I ignore them and divorce them from my friend's list.

AntWrig · February 2012

We can start by not using the word race when describing one of the human race.

How to deal with racists?

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