How to deal with racists?
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"That's your opinion"
"We all bleed red"0 -
Wow! This post got a lot of replies... obviously a **HOT TOPIC** :noway: :brokenheart:
I recently moved closer to family members so I'm exposed more often to their Conservative attitudes I don't agree with. I had to get up from the dinner table at Thanksgiving when the host started Obama-bashing.
I've also worked in office environments where it was considered OK to bash other cultures etc. While I hate to keep quiet, there's just no battling people set in their opinions who are unwilling to have an open-minded & intelligent conversation.
I usually disagree in a humorous or non-confrontational way and then quickly change the subject.
PEACE out :flowerforyou:0 -
racists taste good when slow roasted,deep fried is good to but all that oil ick0
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I always feel kind of bad because I don't confront racists, I'm half black but appear white and so many times I've been told racist jokes, sentiments, blah blah blah and I just do the "you're disgusting stare" and walk away...I don't feel that type of person can be reasoned with.
Living in a state that is now notorious for bigotry and racism (Arizona) is pretty embarrassing as a lot of racism is like celebrated, it's almost like a political view here as in a lot of people will respect it as a they are entitled to their personal opinion type thing. It's effing revolting.0 -
I'd say 'thats not very appropriate'. And leave it at that.
If one of the older ppl at work does something (not racist, but goes through a procedure improperly or wrong) I say 'you know better than that'. It's a nice way of saying 'dont do that'. I feel like I'm coming down on them, but it's true.
It's actually a form of harassment, I hate to say it cause it is pretty dumb and childish. But people can be reported and repremanded or whatever for it.
I recently read that in some classes/courses I just took, and it's come up in a few tests. In Ontario there's policies and procedures to follow. I personally wouldn't report it, or do or say anything, but as far as the government here is concerned, you should.
I live in a town with literally <5 black people, I can't stereotype them. One randomly comes to the bar, never drinks (only coca-cola) and is super cool. And I worked with one of the other ones (i didnt really like his work ethic), the last 2, one works with children and one's a doctor. So I stereotype them as normal human beings....
Sorta like everyone else in my life I've met.
For the most part, every race has someone hard-working, lazy ugly, smelly, smart, attractive, strong, weak...etc. etc. etc.
Being somewhere small isn't really a good excuse to conclude ALL such-and-such people are like that.
I used to stereotype that all smurfs were happy, but along came grumpy smurf. 0 -
:bigsmile: :bigsmile: :smokin: i'm brown :laugh:
well, i'm colombian but a lot of us are like half white looking so it's all good0 -
Being a white, Christian conservative, I hate racists.
Jesus was a Jewish guy from the backwoods part of Israel who hung out with prostitutes, tax collectors & sinners and was more concerned about their soul than the color of their skin.
^^THIS0 -
It's quite the dilhemma!! I'm white if you saw me (my grandfather was black) and I have 3 grandsons who are half black and I adore them. I've heard stories from my daughter of certain incidents with her boys in public where she has come up against racist attitudes. I've wondered how I'd react if I were there, would I use my words calmly or lose my cool completely. Nobody messes with the grands!0
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My family looks like a UN peacekeeping force - we have English, Slovak, Ghanaian and Pakistani.
To be honest, it is the Pakistani part of the family who are racist, don't know what that's all about.0 -
Bump 4 later0
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I live in a redneck town where if you are brown you are automatically mexican, and if you are "yellow" you are autimatically chinese. It's full of extreme conservatives who feel like since they are white and christian, they can say anything about anyone they feel is beneath them,so i told him since hes white he must play his banjo in his trailor white the cousin he married is in the kitchen making possum suprise..so yeah, i need a WAY more tactful way of handeling the situation.
IRONY! Get yours while it's hot and fresh! That is not how to do it.
^ +1 :]
She was trying to show him how silly he sounded saying racial slurs about someone...anyone!. DUH!
Some people...thick as s***!
No need for that! Now waddle off & untwist your knickers, dear.
Yes, actually there was a need for that. I'm sure you haven't experience racism time and time again on a regular basis as I (as someone of mixed race in a small town in Pennsylvania) have. You are just squawking, my frustration comes from day to day life. You don't even know how life in the US is for a minority in small towns filled with ignorance.0 -
Unless you're a racist yourself, or are indifferent to racism, then you should speak up. I will say things like, "Do you know how wrong it is to use racial slurs"? or "I'm seriously offended by your racist comments". If everyone who claims to dislike racism would speak up, we'd hopefully shut some ignorant people up.0
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I am a middle aged, midwestern, white, male, fiscally conservative, business professional.
After reading that, I am sure many already have a view of a racist in their mind. That is also racism. Yet, I am not racist. I do have negative opinions about some people, however that is based on their actions not on how they were born or what they believe.
For example, I have a negative opinion towards those that commit violent crimes. Based on our current prison population, some would say that means I am racist against a certain race. Yet, that is completely wrong. I am against any violent criminal, including the sex offenders who are more predominantly white. Disliking an action or behaviour is not racism.
As a fiscal conservative who believes that government spending is out of hand, I am automatically lumped together with extreme social conservatives. I may share some watered down versions of there views, but certainly not all of them. Fiscally conservative is a far cry from socially conservative (by the way, they have rights as well).
See I am of a different mindset i suppose, because when i hear someone say "i am against violent offenders" the only ones i have ever known myself were white...so i don't really associate certain races with crimes, but then again the only races i was ever really raised around were predominantly white. And I'm totally with you, government spending is WAY out of hand0 -
I live in a redneck town where if you are brown you are automatically mexican, and if you are "yellow" you are autimatically chinese. It's full of extreme conservatives who feel like since they are white and christian, they can say anything about anyone they feel is beneath them,so i told him since hes white he must play his banjo in his trailor white the cousin he married is in the kitchen making possum suprise..so yeah, i need a WAY more tactful way of handeling the situation.
IRONY! Get yours while it's hot and fresh! That is not how to do it.
^ +1 :]
She was trying to show him how silly he sounded saying racial slurs about someone...anyone!. DUH!
Some people...thick as s***!
No need for that! Now waddle off & untwist your knickers, dear.
Yes, actually there was a need for that. I'm sure you haven't experience racism time and time again on a regular basis as I (as someone of mixed race in a small town in Pennsylvania) have. You are just squawking, my frustration comes from day to day life. You don't even know how life in the US is for a minority in small towns filled with ignorance.
I do.
I have not let the obvious intolerance and questionable ignorance change who I am though.0 -
Racism exists everywhere. Well this also happen here in Manila, Philippines where I live right now although I know most Filipinos won't admit it but there are really some who are racists who make fun of Blacks, Indians & Chinese. I'm half Filipino-Mexican & my father's side family background is Spanish (Andalusian to be exact) but sometimes I hear negative comments especially among the brainwashed people about Hispanic people & mestizos being stereotyped as snobish, corrupt elites or traitors which are really offensive. Although I try my very best to be good. There was a time where some of my classmates even went as far as not considering me a Filipino at all because of my family background or simply because I don't look like an average Filipino.
I'm also wondering how to do it. I find it really tough to handle this thing because in my case it ruined my self-esteem, ego & my sense of belongingness which is why I don't have much friends here in real life & instead those I consider my true friends I found online, mostly Latinos.0 -
i just ignore them, dont give them the attention they seek0
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'No, then you don't get that. Read it again.I get that, but I don't get why you would hit back at a racist with a racist/culturally derogatory comment aimed at them & not aimed at yourself if you mean it in a witty comeback way. It just seems wrong to fight one racist comment with another.
She didn't hit back with a comment against them... she ran it down with a deprecating comment about herself. SHE was from the inbreedin', banjo-pickin' holler. She tore herself down as a way of saying that she didn't understand what would be so great about her upbrining and hometown as to make her write off a whole race of people simply based on how they were born. It just so happened that the racist in question shared her background - just not her capability for introspection.
There's no point where she turned to the racist and said "Shut it, hillbilly." That wouldn't work... 'cuz then the hillbilly just puffs his chest and wraps himself in Ol' Glory and says, "Yeah, I AM a hillbilly and I make this here nation great with mah Toby Keith songs and monster truck jams!" And then he's beaten you by doing exactly what I suggested.0 -
monster trucks are pretty sweet..0
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You're never going to change most people let alone an old racist.
Either learn to deal with the ever-present bigotry or move. That'd be how I'd see it if I were in your position.0 -
Being Mexican, and a DARK Mexican at that, I have dealt with it for as long as I have lived in the US. A lot of it is how you carry yourself. Responding with another racist comment doesn't make it any better. Usually, I walk away. However, I was in a Walmart a while back, helping my mother shop for a vacuum. We were speaking Spanish, and an older couple was walking by. They lady said, rather loudly to her husband, "I don't know why those wetbacks can't learn English when they come to this country." It did set me off. So I turned to her and in English I said, "Excuse me ma'am, not only can I speak Spanish and English, but I probably speak them better than you. The next time you have a comment like that, I suggest you try not shouting it, so that the people you are offending don't hear it, or they may want to kick your *kitten*." Her husband practically launched her out of the aisle and said to her, "I told you to shut up." It was pretty funny, but sad that people can be so ignorant. Believe me, I have a lot of stories about this, what I have learned is either a funny witty response works, or just walk away. Hope that helps!0
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On a more practical side,
IF someone is really getting to you. Say, "I'm sorry for that sir or ma'am. Let me get my manager and see if they can help you with that." Then let them deal with it. It's what they get paid for.
Unfortunately, since this is a work situation, I would have to agree with the above. In a customer service position, you have to be polite and respectful to customers even when they aren't polite or respectful to you...0 -
I appreciate your courage and enthusiasm. I would like to reccomend a really good book by Allan Johnson ( a white guy) called Privilege, Power and Difference. To answer your question more directly, I would simply say " To make sweeping judgements about someone is (fill in the blank) racist, sexist, bigotry.... Many people good people of all races have fought and died to overcome such ignorance. Please do not expose me to such in my place of business. It is offensive to me." You are protected by harrassment laws - which apply to customers, coworkers, everyone in the United States.
Send me a friend request! I want to learn from you and discover how such a fabulous young woman lost so much weight! Thanks for being you... Rock on!0 -
I have a hard time sugar-coating anything I want to say to someone. For instance, the sales rep at my office is the stereotypical conservative Republican Bible-thumping Christian who believes that unless you repent and follow the straight and narrow you're doomed to fire and brimstone. Trouble is, the guy is also a bigot, sexist, racist insensative self-gratifying fool. He's always grated on my nerves, but none so much as after a meeting he had in our showroom with a new client he landed. The contact was a middle aged executive for a large Fortune 500 company. SHE was also black (and yes, I say black as well as African-American....because I'm white as well as Euro-American or mutt or whatever anyone wants to call a mixed ancestry caucasian type). Anyway....after the client left our offices, he had the nerve to call her "that n- woman" (and I do NOT use that word...I think it's derogatory and revile it with a passion).
I couldn't believe my ears - especially that he was talking about HIS client that was getting ready to place a large order with us. After asking him to repeat himself, I went off and pretty much called him everything I described him as in the above paragraph (bigoted, sexist,....) and told him if I ever heard him call anyone that again I would kick his....well you know where it goes from there. I am not a violent person, but when it comes to what is often an ignorent or blind persecution of someone based solely on the color of their skin and not the content of their character I do not mind putting them in their place. To this day, that rep knows I can't stand his presence and any office communication required between us I sent through someone else to avoid talking to him. On the rare occasion I do have to talk to him, I keep it to short emotionless statements and refuse to chat feign pleasantness with him.
(I guess I should add in there that I kind of took his racial slur of his client personally in part because I have cousins who are mixed race, whose father is black and mother is white and I know what they had to grow up with as far as teasing from both sides of the racial pool because they were both and neither race.)0 -
Racism is so prevalent in society, that's just the way it is for now. I'm totally against discrimination of any form, but on the other hand I find stereotypes hilarious. Just the whole idea of pigeon-holing and believing a certain thing about someone because of their origin or sex or sexual orientation - it's crazy to me. So I do laugh at and make sexist and racist jokes - amongst like-minded people. Some people don't get the humor, but honestly I think it's just my way (and perhaps others who are similar) of lightening up about an issue that really upsets me. But if I see or hear genuine racism I get insanely mad sometimes. It s my biggest peeve, well one of them (I have a lot of peeves).
As far as how to deal with it - what can you do really? Voicing your opinion is about as far as you can go with it. Tell them not to speak that way around you. Try not to let it get under your skin if it's as common an occurrence as you're saying, it will only cause you distress, though I know it's hard. :ohwell:0 -
How can you tell if you're racist or not? Ask yourself...................."Would I approve of my child marrying a ______(ethnicity)?"
You'll be honest with yourself and know.
A.C.E. Certified Personal Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
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Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition0 -
monster trucks are pretty sweet..
^^^ this.0 -
While I try to remain optimistic, I honestly think hatred between races and even religion won't ever truly die down. Sad, but true.
I never really encountered racism until high school and surprisingly I was the subject of it. I'm your standard white female. The second high school I attended (I moved after my freshman year) was in a more urban area and I was 1 of 5 white students in the school and the only white female. I also had an Aunt who was a teacher there. No one really bothered to remember my name, I was "The White Girl" and the two years I attended I kept a 4.0 average and was always going on field trips to represent the school. My classmates said it was because I was white, the teachers were favoring "their own kind", or that my aunt was rigging the books. I was even ridiculed for being a virgin because many of the girls weren't or already had kids. I still get it periodically because the city I live in has a large black and hispanic population.
My boyfriend, who is black and works at Disney World, gets a LOT of racist commentary, mainly from park-goers. There was one incident not long after he started where an older gentleman approached him asking for directions and then the man went berserk, convinced my boyfriend had "touched my food with your dirty n
fingers" and spat in his face. He ended up reprimanded by the manager because he lost his cool and tried going after the man. When you work there, you have to smile and be happy. Any less and you can get fired.
I could go into a bunch of racist things my now ex-best friend said about him (including that he'd let his friends gang rape me) but that's just a lot of personal crap that was part of why I slammed the door in her face. She even gave me a lecture once when I was making a joke that "just because your boyfriend's black doesn't mean you can pretend you are too." I wasn't aware I had to pretend to be another ethnicity, in fact I find it fun to act myself and we compare "stereotype notes".
When I was in highschool and it was just me that was getting insulted, I just rolled with it and even made white jokes because I really have no problem poking fun at myself. When someone insults my boyfriend or any of my friends who are Mexican or Asian or anything else I do stick up for them. Hell I stick up for my Hispanic neighbors from my mother because she's from an older generation and she tends to group mannerisms by race, example being every Mexican is a thief, every black person's a thug or drug dealer. She threatened to disown me if I ever married my man. Long story short there's a lot of ignorant and angry people out there and they're looking for something to point their finger at and say "this is the cause". All you really can do is kill 'em with kindness. Be nice when they're being rude, smile when they frown, and just remember that no matter what, there is always one equalizer: Death.0 -
While I try to remain optimistic, I honestly think hatred between races and even religion won't ever truly die down. Sad, but true.
I never really encountered racism until high school and surprisingly I was the subject of it. I'm your standard white female. The second high school I attended (I moved after my freshman year) was in a more urban area and I was 1 of 5 white students in the school and the only white female. I also had an Aunt who was a teacher there. No one really bothered to remember my name, I was "The White Girl" and the two years I attended I kept a 4.0 average and was always going on field trips to represent the school. My classmates said it was because I was white, the teachers were favoring "their own kind", or that my aunt was rigging the books. I was even ridiculed for being a virgin because many of the girls weren't or already had kids. I still get it periodically because the city I live in has a large black and hispanic population.
My boyfriend, who is black and works at Disney World, gets a LOT of racist commentary, mainly from park-goers. There was one incident not long after he started where an older gentleman approached him asking for directions and then the man went berserk, convinced my boyfriend had "touched my food with your dirty n
fingers" and spat in his face. He ended up reprimanded by the manager because he lost his cool and tried going after the man. When you work there, you have to smile and be happy. Any less and you can get fired.
I could go into a bunch of racist things my now ex-best friend said about him (including that he'd let his friends gang rape me) but that's just a lot of personal crap that was part of why I slammed the door in her face. She even gave me a lecture once when I was making a joke that "just because your boyfriend's black doesn't mean you can pretend you are too." I wasn't aware I had to pretend to be another ethnicity, in fact I find it fun to act myself and we compare "stereotype notes".
When I was in highschool and it was just me that was getting insulted, I just rolled with it and even made white jokes because I really have no problem poking fun at myself. When someone insults my boyfriend or any of my friends who are Mexican or Asian or anything else I do stick up for them. Hell I stick up for my Hispanic neighbors from my mother because she's from an older generation and she tends to group mannerisms by race, example being every Mexican is a thief, every black person's a thug or drug dealer. She threatened to disown me if I ever married my man. Long story short there's a lot of ignorant and angry people out there and they're looking for something to point their finger at and say "this is the cause". All you really can do is kill 'em with kindness. Be nice when they're being rude, smile when they frown, and just remember that no matter what, there is always one equalizer: Death.
When I was young (High School) and before I had helped my parents to see the world differently, my dad told me he'd disown me if I ever married a black guy. I looked him straight in the eye and said 1. You'd have to own something I want for me to care and 2. If that's the way you see the world, I don't think I'd miss you.
Now nearly 15 years later, my parents have a different view of the world and are very accepting of other races. I do think that there is a string of underlying generation-bred indifferences, but they really try to accept all people. My family knows not to make derogitory statements around me. My drunken grandfather made the mistake of saying something about the "N- President" I unloaded a wrath of spew that made him cry. His own granddaughter is bi-racial black, and he will never, ever again use that word in mine or my daughter's presence. I don't care about a person's political views until it becomes racially motivated...then we are gonna talk.
Stupid thing? Grandpa is a HARD CORE democrat. WTF??0 -
This thread makes me feel sad. No matter what our eyes, skin color, facial structure, height, language, country of origin, religion, etc. we all God's creatures & we all came from one race which is the Human Race. I'm not a religious person but I believe God created all of us equal. We are already in 2012 & yet it seems some people still couldn't outgrown the era of racial discrimination. Remember that our differences are what makes us unique & special to this world we live in. How I wish there would be a law prohibiting such racial stereotyping. Not all Asians are slanted eyed, into kung fu & nerdy. Not all Hispanics/Latinos are illegals, lazy, gang members, doesn't know any English, etc. Not all Blacks are criminals. There are good & bad person for every race & no one ever has a right to judge other people. As they say, you can't spot a speck on other person's eyes without first removing the speck on your own eyes.0
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One of my sons married a beautiful woman of another race, they have three of the most gorgeous grandchildren. Racists burn me to the bone. Largely I ignore them and divorce them from my friend's list.0
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