Horrible things your parents did to you

My parents are pretty awesome but once my my mom was mad at me becuase instead of helping her unload groceries I was on the phone with my best friend. She came in the house pissed off and chucked a gallon of milk at my head. Thankfully I was about 20 feet away and the milk only went 8 to 10 feet...max. When the milk hit the floor and exploded she then threw a pound of bologna at me (got my shoulder), I told my friend I had to get going becuase I was being attacked by flying oscar meyer. To this day, I steal tease my mom about her absuing me with lunchmeat.

My Dad told me that the radio in his truck was broken and it would only play country music. I believed him until I was 13!!

When my pops worked on his car he would make me hold the flashlight. You know what I learned.....I can't hold a flashlight. All my dad did was yell at me "You're doing it wrong put the light over here" then he'd hit the back of my head and say "Pay attention pendejo"..........................GOD I f*cking hate flashlights!!!

This made me crack up!


When we were little my middle sister had this thing about drawing on her dolls faces and cutting their hair.. even brand new dolls. My mom got so fed up with it that one day she took a pen and wrote all over my sisters face.. just like Betsy did on her dolls. To think of it today, is hilarious but it was bad back then. Mom told her to go outside and play and my sister was crying. So we went outside with her face all drawn on. hahahaha I love my mom.

OMG, most of these are just too hysterical - thanks so much for the laughs. and ((hugs)) to all for what we've endured.

My parents weren't too awful - love you Mom! (I know she creeps on my page to see what posts I participate in lmao). But some of the things I can remember - we were pretty tight on funds so our mom also made our clothes, which in itself wasn't so bad. The bad part was being dragged to fabric stores while she shopped for fabric for HOURS on end (ok, ok, perhaps it only SEEMED like hours at the time, but still traumatic.) To this day I get panic attacks when I pass by a fabric or craft type store

Also being tight on funding, to save on laundry costs, she would make us wear our clothes for two days before putting them in the laundry hamper. The bad part? We wore them 2 days in a ROW, so yea, we got teased (this was in grade school) And for some reason, it didn't occur to us to tell her we got teased. It was only after we were older that this came out and we teased her about making us go through this. She claims it didn't occur to her to have us alternate the days we wore them.

When I skipped school in junior high and got caught, my mom made me write notes of apology to all my teachers for skipping their class. That was pretty mortifying.

My dad would try out his (non-existant) martial arts moves on me and my little sister after any movie that featured said martial arts. Oh, yes, and he also routinely sat on us, held us down and would let his spit string out until it was barely touching our noses before sucking it back up again. ::shudders::

On the other hand, I am pretty sure after being scarred for life by my own parents, that I have successfully scarred my own kids far worse :laugh:

I regularly dance and/or sing to store music when they are with me. I flirt with their friends (of any sex, doesn't really matter - it is, after all, for mortification sake so all goes). I have sneaked into the oldest child's room and woke her up by holding a pillow over her head and telling her just before lowering it "I"m sorry honey, but times are tough and one of you just has to go" LOL. The youngest was told that she was dropped on our doorstep by a band of traveling gypsies.

And my favorite: I regularly threatened them that if they didn't behave, I would drive them to school and pick them up every day and walk them to their class holding their hand wearing only my bathrobe and hair curlers. Also if said good behavior wasn't forthcoming, another favorite threat was to volunteer at their school dances just so I could dance in front of them with their friends. :happy: Evil? Perhaps. But at least they have good sense of humor and plenty to tell their future therapist :laugh:

My mom used to beat me with wooden spoons and the metal end of the belt. She ran out of wooden spoons my sophomore year of HS.

I think the saddest part is that you were still getting beat your sophomore year in high school.

yeah, you'd think the OP would've learned her lesson long before high school

lol - my mom still can't talk about that subject without whispering. :embarassed:

My Dad told me that the radio in his truck was broken and it would only play country music. I believed him until I was 13!!

I think every radio we OWNED was broken that way. And our TV only played "Hee Haw" and "Lawrence Welk." :noway:

When my pops worked on his car he would make me hold the flashlight. You know what I learned.....I can't hold a flashlight. All my dad did was yell at me "You're doing it wrong put the light over here" then he'd hit the back of my head and say "Pay attention pendejo"..........................GOD I f*cking hate flashlights!!!

HA! Flashlight flashback! (without the pendejo part)

Growing up, my mom was pretty prim and proper. My father on the other hand, was a total dork.

When I was probably about 11, I went to visit my dad and step mom in the states. We stayed at a Hotel and I forgot to bring any of my bras. So my step mom and I went out and bought a couple of those white ones that have the triangular cups. No big deal... Well, we go to check out of the Hotel once we were done our weekend stay, and I'm standing around while my step mom is dealing with the reception dude. Out of no where, from down the other side of the lobby I hear, "Hey Emma! Did you make sure you didn't forget anything in the room?!" I'm just like, "Yeah..." Please note, there are QUITE a few people in the lobby, it is so far from being empty. My dad says, "Are you sure?!" "Yeah..." At this point I'm starting to get a little worried. And finally, "WELL, I FOUND YOUR BRAZIER IN THE BATHROOM!!!" Not, "bra" but "brazier". And flings the pathetic little bra over towards me. I was so mortified.

My mom awarded me with this beautiful buzz cut when I was about 2 or 3. A friend told her it'd make my hair grow out nice and full. Problem is I look like a little boy in a dress. Awesome mom.

My mom cut my hair. I always looked like I'd be hacked by Edward Scissorhands. :grumble:

After 10 minutes of trying to teach me stick, my dad had me stop the truck...switched me spots, looked at me and said "NEVER buy a clutch. You drive the car, it's an automatic" To this day I still cannot drive a stick...well, vehicle stick anyway :devil:

same thing with me!!! Horrible too - I really want a civic si, but they're manual

Maybe you need a new teacher. My father and my best friend tried to teach me and I failed miserably, but my husband taught me and it was easy! You need someone who has a proven track record.

I need someone with patience. Saint like patience. I'm very difficult when frustrated!

-One time, when I was maybe 12, he was working on his car and I was helping him. He took out some petroleum jelly to lube up a part, and then somehow got onto the subject of how you should never let a guy have sex with you up your butt, because its disrespectful. Yes, my dad had this conversation with me when I was that young...I think I might be a little traumatized and that's why I can't forget it.

OMG, I could not stop laughing at this--so sorry....

My father took me to see Poltergeist when I was 6!! I still cant watch it

ooh gosh, my dad sent me to my first non-uniform day at secondary school in a neon green jogging suit, with a brand new cut pudding bowl bob. never did live that one down, thanks dad!