Dr. Phil - Open Marriage
Replies
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There is a huge difference love and wanting to have sex with someone. People sometimes cannot separate these things. It's entirely possible, if not normal, to find someone that you completely connect with on every level. Physical, emotional, intellectual, etc. etc. This is the person you get together with, who you marry and have a life with. But that doesn't mean you don't ever feel sexually attracted to others. This is where the open relationship comes in, if you and your partner want to experiment with sleeping with others that doesn't mean you love each other any less, it just means you're human. It's not for everybody, but do not judge it because you don't understand it.
And when and if you fall in love with one of your partners? What then?0 -
You know, being unaccepting of those who are OK or IN Open Marriages is (in my book) right up there with those that are unaccepting of gays, other skin colors, other cultures, or other religions. I mean, I have my limits - Pedofilia, necrophilia, rape (etc), but in the scheme of life, this is a non-issue. I can "Live and let live" as far as this one is concerned.
Too right. There are too many personal attacks on here. Very disturbing. If you think someone is wrong, why can't you discuss it without getting ugly?
So just because you don't agree with open marriages, you're on the same level as a racist? Oh my:noway:
In my book, yes. People that are judgmental towards others are the same people that are usually discriminatory by nature also.
Open mind = open heart. Closed mind = closed heart
I personally don't agree with Open Marriage & I am strictly against racism/ableism (all that), so please, don't jump to conclusions. Just because I think the Marital bed should not be shared with anyone that isn't married to you (but do what you want, it's your life, just 'cos I don't agree with it doesn't mean I'm gonna stop you), does not mean I advocate racism! That's ridiculous.
No one said you were a racist, they said that you are intolerant. Racism is a type of intolerance, not all intolerance is racism.
I'm not Intolerant, if they want to have an open relationship, then let them! Just because I don't agree doesn't mean they need to stop.
Their lives their choices & opinions, just like this is my life, my choice & my opinion.
I don't see why, just because I don't agree & wouldn't take part in an open marriage myself, all of a sudden I'm made out to be a horrible person?
Woah, woah, woah. Let's ease up a little here, people. She's MORE than allowed to have her opinion and shouldn't be called racist and intolerant to something simply because it's not for her. She's straight, does that mean she's a homophobe? No, get your heads out of your *kitten*.0 -
You know, being unaccepting of those who are OK or IN Open Marriages is (in my book) right up there with those that are unaccepting of gays, other skin colors, other cultures, or other religions. I mean, I have my limits - Pedofilia, necrophilia, rape (etc), but in the scheme of life, this is a non-issue. I can "Live and let live" as far as this one is concerned.
So just because you don't agree with open marriages, you're on the same level as a racist? Oh my:noway:
In my book, yes. People that are judgmental towards others are the same people that are usually discriminatory by nature also.
Open mind = open heart. Closed mind = closed heart
I personally don't agree with Open Marriage & I am strictly against racism/ableism (all that), so please, don't jump to conclusions. Just because I think the Marital bed should not be shared with anyone that isn't married to you (but do what you want, it's your life, just 'cos I don't agree with it doesn't mean I'm gonna stop you), does not mean I advocate racism! That's ridiculous.
No one said you were a racist, they said that you are intolerant. Racism is a type of intolerance, not all intolerance is racism.
I'm not Intolerant, if they want to have an open relationship, then let them! Just because I don't agree doesn't mean they need to stop.
Their lives their choices & opinions, just like this is my life, my choice & my opinion.
I don't see why, just because I don't agree & wouldn't take part in an open marriage myself, all of a sudden I'm made out to be a horrible person?
Woah, woah, woah. Let's ease up a little here, people. She's MORE than allowed to have her opinion and shouldn't be called racist and intolerant to something simply because it's not for her. She's straight, does that mean she's a homophobe? No, get your heads out of your *kitten*.
I actually love you so much right now!
I love you too.
Wooo partaaaay :laugh: :smokin:0 -
There is a huge difference love and wanting to have sex with someone. People sometimes cannot separate these things. It's entirely possible, if not normal, to find someone that you completely connect with on every level. Physical, emotional, intellectual, etc. etc. This is the person you get together with, who you marry and have a life with. But that doesn't mean you don't ever feel sexually attracted to others. This is where the open relationship comes in, if you and your partner want to experiment with sleeping with others that doesn't mean you love each other any less, it just means you're human. It's not for everybody, but do not judge it because you don't understand it.
And when and if you fall in love with one of your partners? What then?
There's a huge difference in the way this lifestyles run. Many do not have "relationships" with people, they simply use them for sex a couple of times and that is all. It's not like they call each other before bed and say goodnight.0 -
You know, being unaccepting of those who are OK or IN Open Marriages is (in my book) right up there with those that are unaccepting of gays, other skin colors, other cultures, or other religions. I mean, I have my limits - Pedofilia, necrophilia, rape (etc), but in the scheme of life, this is a non-issue. I can "Live and let live" as far as this one is concerned.
So just because you don't agree with open marriages, you're on the same level as a racist? Oh my:noway:
In my book, yes. People that are judgmental towards others are the same people that are usually discriminatory by nature also.
Open mind = open heart. Closed mind = closed heart
I personally don't agree with Open Marriage & I am strictly against racism/ableism (all that), so please, don't jump to conclusions. Just because I think the Marital bed should not be shared with anyone that isn't married to you (but do what you want, it's your life, just 'cos I don't agree with it doesn't mean I'm gonna stop you), does not mean I advocate racism! That's ridiculous.
No one said you were a racist, they said that you are intolerant. Racism is a type of intolerance, not all intolerance is racism.
I'm not Intolerant, if they want to have an open relationship, then let them! Just because I don't agree doesn't mean they need to stop.
Their lives their choices & opinions, just like this is my life, my choice & my opinion.
I don't see why, just because I don't agree & wouldn't take part in an open marriage myself, all of a sudden I'm made out to be a horrible person?
Woah, woah, woah. Let's ease up a little here, people. She's MORE than allowed to have her opinion and shouldn't be called racist and intolerant to something simply because it's not for her. She's straight, does that mean she's a homophobe? No, get your heads out of your *kitten*.
I actually love you so much right now!
I love you too.
Wooo partaaaay :laugh: :smokin:
If that's the "good" kind of cigarettes, I'm down.0 -
You know, being unaccepting of those who are OK or IN Open Marriages is (in my book) right up there with those that are unaccepting of gays, other skin colors, other cultures, or other religions. I mean, I have my limits - Pedofilia, necrophilia, rape (etc), but in the scheme of life, this is a non-issue. I can "Live and let live" as far as this one is concerned.
Too right. There are too many personal attacks on here. Very disturbing. If you think someone is wrong, why can't you discuss it without getting ugly?
So just because you don't agree with open marriages, you're on the same level as a racist? Oh my:noway:
In my book, yes. People that are judgmental towards others are the same people that are usually discriminatory by nature also.
Open mind = open heart. Closed mind = closed heart
I personally don't agree with Open Marriage & I am strictly against racism/ableism (all that), so please, don't jump to conclusions. Just because I think the Marital bed should not be shared with anyone that isn't married to you (but do what you want, it's your life, just 'cos I don't agree with it doesn't mean I'm gonna stop you), does not mean I advocate racism! That's ridiculous.
No one said you were a racist, they said that you are intolerant. Racism is a type of intolerance, not all intolerance is racism.
I'm not Intolerant, if they want to have an open relationship, then let them! Just because I don't agree doesn't mean they need to stop.
Their lives their choices & opinions, just like this is my life, my choice & my opinion.
I don't see why, just because I don't agree & wouldn't take part in an open marriage myself, all of a sudden I'm made out to be a horrible person?
Woah, woah, woah. Let's ease up a little here, people. She's MORE than allowed to have her opinion and shouldn't be called racist and intolerant to something simply because it's not for her. She's straight, does that mean she's a homophobe? No, get your heads out of your *kitten*.
Too right. There are too many personal attacks on here. Can't we disagree without getting nasty? That's a truly ugly trend.0 -
Do a bit of research before you post things you aren't aware of. These are covered under the blood of the sacrifice! As all sins are. They were also used in a MUCH different context. Read the whole bible and understand the book Do not pick and choose verses...
My point was you are all picking and choosing verses to follow.
Leviticus 19:19 says don't wear clothes of mixed material. I'm pretty sure you all have cotton and polyester clothes.
Leviticus 24:16 says to stone people to death that blaspheme.
Deuteronomy 21:18-21 says to stone children that disobey.
Numbers 15:32-56 Says to stone people that break the Sabbath.
Deuteronomy 22:23-24 says to stone people that are raped if they don't scream loud enough.
So lets ignore the OLD testament, as you guys always like to do.
My point is that EVERYONE has sinned. Whether it is swearing, lying, judging, hating someone, being jealous, whatever.
Matthew 7:5 - "You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye. "
I grew up in the church. I was raised in a christian faith, and I believed. Intolerant, hypocritical, lying, backstabbing, judgmental people were the reason I stopped. Don't quote scripture to me, because I've memorized hundreds of verses.
The more I learn about religion, the less I want anything to do with it.
Of course everyone has sinned, like I said before, "for all have sinned & fall short of the glory of God".
The bible also says that we have to obey the law, that is why we don't stone people.0 -
There is a huge difference love and wanting to have sex with someone. People sometimes cannot separate these things. It's entirely possible, if not normal, to find someone that you completely connect with on every level. Physical, emotional, intellectual, etc. etc. This is the person you get together with, who you marry and have a life with. But that doesn't mean you don't ever feel sexually attracted to others. This is where the open relationship comes in, if you and your partner want to experiment with sleeping with others that doesn't mean you love each other any less, it just means you're human. It's not for everybody, but do not judge it because you don't understand it.
And when and if you fall in love with one of your partners? What then?
Well, in my case, you keep them both!
But yeah, if you don't think these issues through carefully *in advance*, you are going to have some very bad results.0 -
You know, being unaccepting of those who are OK or IN Open Marriages is (in my book) right up there with those that are unaccepting of gays, other skin colors, other cultures, or other religions. I mean, I have my limits - Pedofilia, necrophilia, rape (etc), but in the scheme of life, this is a non-issue. I can "Live and let live" as far as this one is concerned.
So just because you don't agree with open marriages, you're on the same level as a racist? Oh my:noway:
In my book, yes. People that are judgmental towards others are the same people that are usually discriminatory by nature also.
Open mind = open heart. Closed mind = closed heart
I personally don't agree with Open Marriage & I am strictly against racism/ableism (all that), so please, don't jump to conclusions. Just because I think the Marital bed should not be shared with anyone that isn't married to you (but do what you want, it's your life, just 'cos I don't agree with it doesn't mean I'm gonna stop you), does not mean I advocate racism! That's ridiculous.
No one said you were a racist, they said that you are intolerant. Racism is a type of intolerance, not all intolerance is racism.
I'm not Intolerant, if they want to have an open relationship, then let them! Just because I don't agree doesn't mean they need to stop.
Their lives their choices & opinions, just like this is my life, my choice & my opinion.
I don't see why, just because I don't agree & wouldn't take part in an open marriage myself, all of a sudden I'm made out to be a horrible person?
Woah, woah, woah. Let's ease up a little here, people. She's MORE than allowed to have her opinion and shouldn't be called racist and intolerant to something simply because it's not for her. She's straight, does that mean she's a homophobe? No, get your heads out of your *kitten*.
I actually love you so much right now!
I love you too.
Wooo partaaaay :laugh: :smokin:
If that's the "good" kind of cigarettes, I'm down.
Haha! If I'm ever in Canada, I'm hanging out with you.0 -
You know, being unaccepting of those who are OK or IN Open Marriages is (in my book) right up there with those that are unaccepting of gays, other skin colors, other cultures, or other religions. I mean, I have my limits - Pedofilia, necrophilia, rape (etc), but in the scheme of life, this is a non-issue. I can "Live and let live" as far as this one is concerned.
So just because you don't agree with open marriages, you're on the same level as a racist? Oh my:noway:
In my book, yes. People that are judgmental towards others are the same people that are usually discriminatory by nature also.
Open mind = open heart. Closed mind = closed heart
I personally don't agree with Open Marriage & I am strictly against racism/ableism (all that), so please, don't jump to conclusions. Just because I think the Marital bed should not be shared with anyone that isn't married to you (but do what you want, it's your life, just 'cos I don't agree with it doesn't mean I'm gonna stop you), does not mean I advocate racism! That's ridiculous.
No one said you were a racist, they said that you are intolerant. Racism is a type of intolerance, not all intolerance is racism.
I'm not Intolerant, if they want to have an open relationship, then let them! Just because I don't agree doesn't mean they need to stop.
Their lives their choices & opinions, just like this is my life, my choice & my opinion.
I don't see why, just because I don't agree & wouldn't take part in an open marriage myself, all of a sudden I'm made out to be a horrible person?
Woah, woah, woah. Let's ease up a little here, people. She's MORE than allowed to have her opinion and shouldn't be called racist and intolerant to something simply because it's not for her. She's straight, does that mean she's a homophobe? No, get your heads out of your *kitten*.
I actually love you so much right now!
I love you too.
Wooo partaaaay :laugh: :smokin:
If that's the "good" kind of cigarettes, I'm down.
Haha! If I'm ever in Canada, I'm hanging out with you.
Hell yes, any time!0 -
Do a bit of research before you post things you aren't aware of. These are covered under the blood of the sacrifice! As all sins are. They were also used in a MUCH different context. Read the whole bible and understand the book Do not pick and choose verses...
My point was you are all picking and choosing verses to follow.
Leviticus 19:19 says don't wear clothes of mixed material. I'm pretty sure you all have cotton and polyester clothes.
Leviticus 24:16 says to stone people to death that blaspheme.
Deuteronomy 21:18-21 says to stone children that disobey.
Numbers 15:32-56 Says to stone people that break the Sabbath.
Deuteronomy 22:23-24 says to stone people that are raped if they don't scream loud enough.
So lets ignore the OLD testament, as you guys always like to do.
My point is that EVERYONE has sinned. Whether it is swearing, lying, judging, hating someone, being jealous, whatever.
Matthew 7:5 - "You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye. "
I grew up in the church. I was raised in a christian faith, and I believed. Intolerant, hypocritical, lying, backstabbing, judgmental people were the reason I stopped. Don't quote scripture to me, because I've memorized hundreds of verses.
The more I learn about religion, the less I want anything to do with it.
Deuteronomy 21:18-21 says to stone children that disobey.
Nice. The bible got something right! 0 -
I'm game
wait... nevermind... hubby would NEVER approve 
0 -
Do a bit of research before you post things you aren't aware of. These are covered under the blood of the sacrifice! As all sins are. They were also used in a MUCH different context. Read the whole bible and understand the book Do not pick and choose verses...
My point was you are all picking and choosing verses to follow.
Leviticus 19:19 says don't wear clothes of mixed material. I'm pretty sure you all have cotton and polyester clothes.
Leviticus 24:16 says to stone people to death that blaspheme.
Deuteronomy 21:18-21 says to stone children that disobey.
Numbers 15:32-56 Says to stone people that break the Sabbath.
Deuteronomy 22:23-24 says to stone people that are raped if they don't scream loud enough.
So lets ignore the OLD testament, as you guys always like to do.
My point is that EVERYONE has sinned. Whether it is swearing, lying, judging, hating someone, being jealous, whatever.
Matthew 7:5 - "You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye. "
I grew up in the church. I was raised in a christian faith, and I believed. Intolerant, hypocritical, lying, backstabbing, judgmental people were the reason I stopped. Don't quote scripture to me, because I've memorized hundreds of verses.
The more I learn about religion, the less I want anything to do with it.
Of course everyone has sinned, like I said before, "for all have sinned & fall short of the glory of God".
The bible also says that we have to obey the law, that is why we don't stone people.
Ok, I really *really* don't want to pick on you; and I understand that you are live-and-let-live.
But.... when religious people say things like that, it's scary. Because what I hear is "We would stone you, except that there is a local law against it. So we won't beat you to death with stones for wearing cotton with polyester, today. But, you know, otherwise we would."0 -
Do a bit of research before you post things you aren't aware of. These are covered under the blood of the sacrifice! As all sins are. They were also used in a MUCH different context. Read the whole bible and understand the book Do not pick and choose verses...
My point was you are all picking and choosing verses to follow.
Leviticus 19:19 says don't wear clothes of mixed material. I'm pretty sure you all have cotton and polyester clothes.
Leviticus 24:16 says to stone people to death that blaspheme.
Deuteronomy 21:18-21 says to stone children that disobey.
Numbers 15:32-56 Says to stone people that break the Sabbath.
Deuteronomy 22:23-24 says to stone people that are raped if they don't scream loud enough.
So lets ignore the OLD testament, as you guys always like to do.
My point is that EVERYONE has sinned. Whether it is swearing, lying, judging, hating someone, being jealous, whatever.
Matthew 7:5 - "You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye. "
I grew up in the church. I was raised in a christian faith, and I believed. Intolerant, hypocritical, lying, backstabbing, judgmental people were the reason I stopped. Don't quote scripture to me, because I've memorized hundreds of verses.
The more I learn about religion, the less I want anything to do with it.
Of course everyone has sinned, like I said before, "for all have sinned & fall short of the glory of God".
The bible also says that we have to obey the law, that is why we don't stone people.
Ok, I really *really* don't want to pick on you; and I understand that you are live-and-let-live.
But.... when religious people say things like that, it's scary. Because what I hear is "We would stone you, except that there is a local law against it. So we won't beat you to death with stones for wearing cotton with polyester, today. But, you know, otherwise we would."
I didn't mean it like that, I could never kill anyone.0 -
Open relationships dont work. Period.0
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Open relationships dont work. Period.
And that's quite the generalisation.0 -
I think something's broken inside you if you can't commit completely to one person and have that be enough. Either you're with the wrong person or you have insecurities that you have to fill with promiscuity and outside attention.
Well said!0 -
I've never seen Dr. Phil but on open marriage I guess I believe to each their own. No way could I deal with it. I get jealous when hubby smiles too big at the cashier at the gas station. I'm jealous by nature - always have been and in turn I don't do anything that would make hubby nervous himself...just an old fashion lady I guess. But I also figure everyone finds what works for them, if they bring it on t.v. I imagine they like the attention from it.0
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Open relationships dont work. Period.
For you. Exclamation point.0 -
Definitely not for me!! Ick!!0
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I think something's broken inside you if you can't commit completely to one person and have that be enough. Either you're with the wrong person or you have insecurities that you have to fill with promiscuity and outside attention.
Well said!
And back to 3 hours ago, I think something must be broken in y'all if you are so quick to pass judgement on something you don't understand. Sure, it may not be for you and that's totally cool, but insulting what others like is not cool.0 -
Open relationships dont work. Period.
An open relationship didn't work for YOU. Period.0 -
Definitely not for me!! Ick!!
:grumble:
I could have done without the last word... nice.0 -
"For all have sinned & fall short of the glory of God" - That is why their is a little thing called Repenting!If we really want to talk about the Bible, lets talk about lying. There's not a one among us who has never done this. Even if all you've ever done is tell someone their baby was cute when it wasn't, or that dress looked good when it didn't. They are told to spare feelings, but still, they are lies.
So we've all sinned to one degree or another. Which means that not a one of us qualifies to judge anyone else on the "let he who is without sin cast the first stone" prerequisite.
We can judge in righteous judgement - judge on sin & rebuke.
"let he who is without sin cast the first stone" - that applies to people who judge unrighteously.
I'm sorry, but I disagree. Of course you can repent. But you're still not perfect. And, let's face it, the next time your girlfriend asks you if these pants make her butt look big, you're gonna lie again. Cuz no one is gonna tell their friend, you betcha, it looks like two pounds of sh-- in a one pound bag. You're gonna sin again. None of us is entirely righteous. But a lot of us, it is apparent, are self-righteous. And isn't hubris a sin, too, according to the bible?
It's wrong of them to jump all on your case and call you a racist just because you disagree with them. But it is also wrong of you to believe that you have any right to judge anyone else for the decisions they make. None of us does, not if they aren't hurting anyone.0 -
We all make our way through life as best we can. If everyone is on board, I fail to see the problem.
What's right for some may not be for others, but that doesn't make it wrong.
Agreed.
Personally, I could not do this. If someone else wants to do this and it makes them happy then rock on.0 -
my horse is dead....
what to do....?0 -
No thank you. I don't care what others do, but this would NEVER work for me. Forget the part about sleeping with someone other than your spouse. What about thinking of yourself. Too many diseases out there, with no cures. I work too hard in my commited relationship, and I feel like intimacy is an added benefit to a realtionship. No one else is going to enjoy the extra, when I am the one doing the cooking, cleaning, and birthing of his children........side note no condoms just gross.0
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No, No, and NO, thats what I think.0
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Another .02 --- agreeing that each to their own and skipping over the ugly replies -- I sat here and thought about this for a minute and honest to goodness I could NEVER EVER EVER imagine wanting anyone other then my husband. Never. He is more then enough for me, we never get bored or curious - we keep things exciting and I feel that as his wife it's part of my role in the relationship to make our sex awesome (and no matter my size or what else goes on in our marriage I assure you that he's got no complaints there). I just couldn't even imagine being with another man. We've been together 16 years and I've never even had the slightest temptation.
Also for US if hubby even considered bringing it up he'd probably know to pack a suitcase at the same time.
I don't judge - I mean really what you do in your own bedroom I could care less about. I don't think it's a great thing for marriage - but that's just my .02.
My biggest hobby is minding my own business 0 -
my horse is dead....
what to do....?
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:0
This discussion has been closed.
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