Relationship Question?? Cheating.

PenguinPrincess
PenguinPrincess Posts: 101
edited November 12 in Chit-Chat
Just curious! What do you consider cheating in a relationship? From your answer to that, have you ever cheated or been cheated on? (I'm curious if this alters people's opinion.) What in your definition of cheating can be forgiven?
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Replies

  • KJVBear33
    KJVBear33 Posts: 628
    Just curious! What do you consider cheating in a relationship? From your answer to that, have you ever cheated or been cheated on? (I'm curious if this alters people's opinion.) What in your definition of cheating can be forgiven?

    In answer to your question.........another........why would you like to know? "Just curious" doesn't really answer my question.........in most cases curiousity killed the cat.........is there a deeper meaning behind it all? Or was your brain in the clouds today (not intending for it to have negative connotations......just wanted to know because it happens sometimes)?
  • neverstray
    neverstray Posts: 3,845 Member
    If you have to ask, it's cheating.

    I have never cheated. I would say that I don't think I've ever been cheated on, but I'm not 100% certain. I think there's emotional cheating. It's not just physical.
  • EmCarroll1990
    EmCarroll1990 Posts: 2,832 Member
    Cheating for me:
    Kissing someone else
    Having sex with someone else
    Written texts / emails to someone else with the intent to do the above

    I've not cheated, nor have I been cheated on, that I know of.

    But there are different levels to it, that I am finding hard to explain, so if someone else explains it better than I could, I'll let you know. :P
  • neverstray
    neverstray Posts: 3,845 Member
    As much as I think Dr Phil is a tool, I think in regards to this issue, he's dead right: if you can't tell your spouse, or have him/her right there and you have to do it, what ever "it" is, behind his or her back, it's cheating.

    It's really that simple.
  • EmCarroll1990
    EmCarroll1990 Posts: 2,832 Member
    As much as I think Dr Phil is a tool, I think in regards to this issue, he's dead right: if you can't tell your spouse, or have him/her right there and you have to do it, what ever "it" is, behind his or her back, it's cheating.

    It's really that simple.

    This. Great way to put it.
  • Munque
    Munque Posts: 123
    I agree. Every once in a while, I get hit on at work, but I'm a big flirt too. I tell my husband EVERYTHING, and if there was anything that I wouldn't tell him, I would feel so incredibly guilty, and I would consider that being dishonest in the cheating category, so I make sure not to do anything that would jepordize our relationship. He's fine with me being a big flirt, hell, I do it right in front of him, he thinks it's funny and he the same way, so it works.

    I have cheated on boyfriends when I was young, and the relationships were meaningless, can't even call them relationships really. But haven't done it since I've been all growed up. :)
  • xo_morgan
    xo_morgan Posts: 298
    i agree with the above posters. Anything you wouldnt do/say in front of your significant other is considered cheating. whether it be physical or on an emotional level. a lot of people dont understand that cheating doesnt have to be sex.
  • Firefighter_Jay
    Firefighter_Jay Posts: 426 Member
    If you have to ask, it's cheating.

    I have never cheated. I would say that I don't think I've ever been cheated on, but I'm not 100% certain. I think there's emotional cheating. It's not just physical.

    Agreed
  • ItsCasey
    ItsCasey Posts: 4,021 Member
    To me, any kind of betrayal of trust is "cheating." It doesn't even have to be romantic betrayal. Willful failure to live up to the responsibility you have to your partner (and this is dependent upon the level of commitment you've made to each other) is infidelity, in my book.

    But assuming you're talking about "straying" with another man/woman, I draw the line at any kind of contact that is made with romantic intent. That includes e-mails and text messages, as someone else mentioned.

    As far as what I'd be willing to forgive, theoretically, I can forgive anything. But forgiveness and trust are not the same thing. If you do something that makes me unable to trust you, unable to believe you even when you're looking me dead in the eyes, then we're done.
  • ScottyNoHotty
    ScottyNoHotty Posts: 1,957 Member
    Are we talking regular person cheating or Bill Clinton cheating?
  • Captain_Tightpants
    Captain_Tightpants Posts: 2,215 Member
    When we play Scrabble, my wife uses the American dictionary and I use the English one. I think that might be cheating.
  • AmberJslimsAWAY
    AmberJslimsAWAY Posts: 2,339 Member
    kissing and anything beyond is cheating. Yes I have been cheated on.
  • Antigone
    Antigone Posts: 70 Member
    If you have to hide it or lie about it to your partner, it's cheating. Period.
  • DeeJayTJ
    DeeJayTJ Posts: 355 Member
    I cant stand a cheater and would never put up with one.

    been cheated on, and its got me messed up even though it was a long time ago.

    so DONT CHEAT!
  • Chairless
    Chairless Posts: 583 Member
    if you can't tell your spouse, or have him/her right there and you have to do it, what ever "it" is, behind his or her back, it's cheating.

    Exactly this.
  • TrailRunner61
    TrailRunner61 Posts: 2,505 Member
    As much as I think Dr Phil is a tool, I think in regards to this issue, he's dead right: if you can't tell your spouse, or have him/her right there and you have to do it, what ever "it" is, behind his or her back, it's cheating.

    It's really that simple.
    Agreed!
  • tig_ol_bitties
    tig_ol_bitties Posts: 561 Member
    Would you and your partner be willing to switch cell phones for a week? If the answer is no, one of you is probably cheating.
  • NYCDutchess
    NYCDutchess Posts: 622 Member
    Very easy question:

    My definition of cheating is doing anything behind your SO's back that you cannot tell them about.
  • auroranflash
    auroranflash Posts: 3,569 Member
    We don't lie to each other, period.

    Exclusion of the truth is also lying.

    If I've told little white lies to him in the past (or felt that I portrayed something in a way other than it was), I always feel guilty, come back to it later, tell him, and tell him why I felt that way.

    We try to be very honest, it's disrespectful to yourself and to the other person not to be...
  • PenguinPrincess
    PenguinPrincess Posts: 101
    Just curious! What do you consider cheating in a relationship? From your answer to that, have you ever cheated or been cheated on? (I'm curious if this alters people's opinion.) What in your definition of cheating can be forgiven?

    In answer to your question.........another........why would you like to know? "Just curious" doesn't really answer my question.........in most cases curiousity killed the cat.........is there a deeper meaning behind it all? Or was your brain in the clouds today (not intending for it to have negative connotations......just wanted to know because it happens sometimes)?

    Sorry, I was in the shower and it was one of the random thoughts that passed through my head. Don't have a deep dark meaning to share with you.
  • PBmaria
    PBmaria Posts: 854 Member
    In my opinion, it's a personal definition but it should include anything that your partner would not approve or anything you wouldn't tell your partner about and feel the need to hide or lie about.
  • BaconMD
    BaconMD Posts: 1,165 Member
    As much as I think Dr Phil is a tool, I think in regards to this issue, he's dead right: if you can't tell your spouse, or have him/her right there and you have to do it, what ever "it" is, behind his or her back, it's cheating.

    It's really that simple.
    Yep. Agree on all counts (including the "Dr Phil is a tool" part).
  • paigemarie93
    paigemarie93 Posts: 778 Member
    Any physical contact in a sexual way with someone other than your SO, I consider cheating, even if it's not going the whole hog, even if it's just a kiss.
    I don't even like my SO talking to other girls privately, be it girls I know or don't know, like private FB messaging or something like that, it just brings out the jealous girl in me. Maybe I'm just weird? haha.
  • alecta337
    alecta337 Posts: 622 Member
    In my opinion, it's a personal definition but it should include anything that your partner would not approve or anything you wouldn't tell your partner about and feel the need to hide or lie about.

    I agree with this. I always pretend my bf can see everything that I am doing. If he wouldn't approve if he was there, then I won't let that thing happen.
  • rebecky27
    rebecky27 Posts: 842 Member
    simply put, If you don't want your SO to find out about it....it's cheating.

    Never been cheated on (well, as far as I know anyway! - but I highly doubt it) lol

    I guess I have cheated, but with a HS boyfriend, who just wouldn't accept our breakup...but...since I didn't care that he found out...I guess it wasn't cheating after all by my own standards...
  • Ladyiianae
    Ladyiianae Posts: 271 Member
    As much as I think Dr Phil is a tool, I think in regards to this issue, he's dead right: if you can't tell your spouse, or have him/her right there and you have to do it, what ever "it" is, behind his or her back, it's cheating.

    It's really that simple.

    This sums it up.
  • ItsMeRebekah
    ItsMeRebekah Posts: 909 Member
    giving yourself emotionally to another person, just as you would do physically.
    also, i am a firm believer that if you have to hide something, you think its wrong.

    in my book, this is the only deal breaker that you can not recover from. or that i CHOOSE to not recover from.

    yes i have been cheated on while i was young, dating years.
  • huneybun1
    huneybun1 Posts: 12
    Cheating is just that.. However cheating is if you and the other person dont share the same views per a monogomous relationship. If they are doing things that you feel comprimises your relationship and involves someone of the opposite sex or same sex and this does not make you happy its cheating.
  • loombeav
    loombeav Posts: 391 Member
    As much as I think Dr Phil is a tool, I think in regards to this issue, he's dead right: if you can't tell your spouse, or have him/her right there and you have to do it, what ever "it" is, behind his or her back, it's cheating.

    It's really that simple.
    I agree completely!
    Yes I have been cheated on. 2 marriages ruined due to infidelity. The 1st one my ex got his *kitten* from HS pregnant and the 2nd my ex and I separated before their relationship got physical, but they had been having an emotional affair for months.

    Before my last husband and I got married we were on and off a lot. I cheated on different guys with him. Neither of them were serious, but they also didn't know I was still in a relationship with him.

    I am now remarried and have huge trust issues. My husband knows that I consider any form of dishonesty with the opposite sex to be cheating and he thankfully does not have female friends and has been faithful. I'm a bit jaded though and even though I do "think" I can trust him, I don't fully.
  • EmCarroll1990
    EmCarroll1990 Posts: 2,832 Member
    Any physical contact in a sexual way with someone other than your SO, I consider cheating, even if it's not going the whole hog, even if it's just a kiss.
    I don't even like my SO talking to other girls privately, be it girls I know or don't know, like private FB messaging or something like that, it just brings out the jealous girl in me. Maybe I'm just weird? haha.

    If you're weird, then so am I. I am exactly the same.
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