Relationship Question?? Cheating.

Options
24567…14

Replies

  • PBmaria
    PBmaria Posts: 854 Member
    Options
    In my opinion, it's a personal definition but it should include anything that your partner would not approve or anything you wouldn't tell your partner about and feel the need to hide or lie about.
  • BaconMD
    BaconMD Posts: 1,165 Member
    Options
    As much as I think Dr Phil is a tool, I think in regards to this issue, he's dead right: if you can't tell your spouse, or have him/her right there and you have to do it, what ever "it" is, behind his or her back, it's cheating.

    It's really that simple.
    Yep. Agree on all counts (including the "Dr Phil is a tool" part).
  • paigemarie93
    paigemarie93 Posts: 778 Member
    Options
    Any physical contact in a sexual way with someone other than your SO, I consider cheating, even if it's not going the whole hog, even if it's just a kiss.
    I don't even like my SO talking to other girls privately, be it girls I know or don't know, like private FB messaging or something like that, it just brings out the jealous girl in me. Maybe I'm just weird? haha.
  • alecta337
    alecta337 Posts: 622 Member
    Options
    In my opinion, it's a personal definition but it should include anything that your partner would not approve or anything you wouldn't tell your partner about and feel the need to hide or lie about.

    I agree with this. I always pretend my bf can see everything that I am doing. If he wouldn't approve if he was there, then I won't let that thing happen.
  • rebecky27
    rebecky27 Posts: 842 Member
    Options
    simply put, If you don't want your SO to find out about it....it's cheating.

    Never been cheated on (well, as far as I know anyway! - but I highly doubt it) lol

    I guess I have cheated, but with a HS boyfriend, who just wouldn't accept our breakup...but...since I didn't care that he found out...I guess it wasn't cheating after all by my own standards...
  • Ladyiianae
    Ladyiianae Posts: 271 Member
    Options
    As much as I think Dr Phil is a tool, I think in regards to this issue, he's dead right: if you can't tell your spouse, or have him/her right there and you have to do it, what ever "it" is, behind his or her back, it's cheating.

    It's really that simple.

    This sums it up.
  • ItsMeRebekah
    ItsMeRebekah Posts: 910 Member
    Options
    giving yourself emotionally to another person, just as you would do physically.
    also, i am a firm believer that if you have to hide something, you think its wrong.

    in my book, this is the only deal breaker that you can not recover from. or that i CHOOSE to not recover from.

    yes i have been cheated on while i was young, dating years.
  • huneybun1
    huneybun1 Posts: 12
    Options
    Cheating is just that.. However cheating is if you and the other person dont share the same views per a monogomous relationship. If they are doing things that you feel comprimises your relationship and involves someone of the opposite sex or same sex and this does not make you happy its cheating.
  • loombeav
    loombeav Posts: 391 Member
    Options
    As much as I think Dr Phil is a tool, I think in regards to this issue, he's dead right: if you can't tell your spouse, or have him/her right there and you have to do it, what ever "it" is, behind his or her back, it's cheating.

    It's really that simple.
    I agree completely!
    Yes I have been cheated on. 2 marriages ruined due to infidelity. The 1st one my ex got his *kitten* from HS pregnant and the 2nd my ex and I separated before their relationship got physical, but they had been having an emotional affair for months.

    Before my last husband and I got married we were on and off a lot. I cheated on different guys with him. Neither of them were serious, but they also didn't know I was still in a relationship with him.

    I am now remarried and have huge trust issues. My husband knows that I consider any form of dishonesty with the opposite sex to be cheating and he thankfully does not have female friends and has been faithful. I'm a bit jaded though and even though I do "think" I can trust him, I don't fully.
  • EmCarroll1990
    EmCarroll1990 Posts: 2,849 Member
    Options
    Any physical contact in a sexual way with someone other than your SO, I consider cheating, even if it's not going the whole hog, even if it's just a kiss.
    I don't even like my SO talking to other girls privately, be it girls I know or don't know, like private FB messaging or something like that, it just brings out the jealous girl in me. Maybe I'm just weird? haha.

    If you're weird, then so am I. I am exactly the same.
  • krissypea79
    krissypea79 Posts: 362 Member
    Options
    As much as I think Dr Phil is a tool, I think in regards to this issue, he's dead right: if you can't tell your spouse, or have him/her right there and you have to do it, what ever "it" is, behind his or her back, it's cheating.

    It's really that simple.

    EXACTLY!!!! If it is something you wouldn't do or say in front of your significant other, then it is probably wrong. I would go as far to say that I'd be VERY unhappy even if my significant other was making innuendos or being casually flirtatious with other women (complimenting their outfit, etc), either at work or out at the bar with the guys. Maybe I'm too jealous though, who knows. People seem to have different opinions on that, though, and some think it is harmless. Personally, if I found out, I'd be bothered by it, but I might be expecting a bit much. Unfortunately, many people seem to operate under the delusion that if they're not getting caught, then it isn't wrong. People don't seem to have much of a conscience these days!!!
  • PenguinPrincess
    PenguinPrincess Posts: 101
    Options
    Would you and your partner be willing to switch cell phones for a week? If the answer is no, one of you is probably cheating.

    I've not heard this one before! But it's totally true! lol
  • RedVelvetCurls
    RedVelvetCurls Posts: 304 Member
    Options
    Yes I have been cheated on, and in my humble opinion, even kissing is cheating. I let a "harmless" kiss slide once and it turned into a "harmless" shag, so there's no way I'm tolerating that again.
  • bellevie23
    bellevie23 Posts: 208 Member
    Options
    Just curious! What do you consider cheating in a relationship? From your answer to that, have you ever cheated or been cheated on? (I'm curious if this alters people's opinion.) What in your definition of cheating can be forgiven?

    Anything that has been pre-determined as not okay in the relationship along with all the common sense reasons a person should have. There is physical and emotional cheating, neither are okay. If you are spending more time flirting with someone else when you have a loved one at home, you are wrong. Simple as that.

    As for your second question, yes I have cheated on one person before, my ex, kissed/made out with another guy, told him about it, then requested a divorce as I am pretty firm on if you cheat on someone then you dont respect them as much as someone should, therefore shouldnt be with them. However, on a same note, I felt so horrible doing it, I told myself I would never put myself in that position again, and I havent.

    On the flip side, I am currently going through a divorce, my husband is/was cheating on me with a female soldier who is with him in afghanistan. I told him I would forgive him, being a hypocrite of my own views, solely because I do love him and we have kids. However, I firmly believe you can go a relationship without cheating, this was just my karma I suppose, sucks our kids have to be a recipient of such a thing, but it happens. I cant say someone cant get past it, because my BIL and sister both cheated on each other and are now expecting their second child and happy together, but things will never be the same.

    As for forgiveness, Ive forgiven my husband, despite how stupid I think he is/was for doing such a thing, but we both felt the same on if someone cheats, so although Ive forgiven him, he cant forgive himself at this point, so we are divorcing. I would never stay with a repeat cheater and it would always depend on the circumstances on how long it took me to forgive.
  • rjbrowne
    rjbrowne Posts: 28
    Options
    As much as I think Dr Phil is a tool, I think in regards to this issue, he's dead right: if you can't tell your spouse, or have him/her right there and you have to do it, what ever "it" is, behind his or her back, it's cheating.

    It's really that simple.

    This is what I was going to say! It really comes down to keeping EVERYTHING out in the open. I'm in the process of getting myself put back together after my spouse cheated and I can tell you it is unimaginably painful. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. I can say that as of right now, I definitely react more to finding out about anything little, than I would have before.
  • Legalchica
    Legalchica Posts: 462
    Options
    As much as I think Dr Phil is a tool, I think in regards to this issue, he's dead right: if you can't tell your spouse, or have him/her right there and you have to do it, what ever "it" is, behind his or her back, it's cheating.

    It's really that simple.

    sooo when I go to the gym to lift and don't tell my hubby because he is against it... its cheating?
  • bellevie23
    bellevie23 Posts: 208 Member
    Options
    I think what would be worse would be staying in a relationship where you find something cheating and your partner does not. There is a difference in someone doing something and knowing they were wrong and someone doing it and not seeing why it is a big deal. Better to just be with someone who has the same views as you do on cheating, otherwise it will prob be a matter of time before another 'whats the big deal?' occurs.
  • paigemarie93
    paigemarie93 Posts: 778 Member
    Options
    Any physical contact in a sexual way with someone other than your SO, I consider cheating, even if it's not going the whole hog, even if it's just a kiss.
    I don't even like my SO talking to other girls privately, be it girls I know or don't know, like private FB messaging or something like that, it just brings out the jealous girl in me. Maybe I'm just weird? haha.

    If you're weird, then so am I. I am exactly the same.

    I guess I'm not weird then haha.
  • hope516
    hope516 Posts: 1,133 Member
    Options
    Cheating:

    ANYTHING and EVERYTHING you feel compelled to hide from your significant other because you KNOW they wouldn't like it :smokin:
  • 2fit4fat
    2fit4fat Posts: 559 Member
    Options
    In my opinion, it's a personal definition but it should include anything that your partner would not approve or anything you wouldn't tell your partner about and feel the need to hide or lie about.

    I agree with this. I always pretend my bf can see everything that I am doing. If he wouldn't approve if he was there, then I won't let that thing happen.


    This...

Categories