Relationship Question?? Cheating.

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  • BAMFMeredith
    BAMFMeredith Posts: 2,829 Member
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    I was watching a show last night where a girl who had a boyfriend was walking into a club holding hands with a guy who wasn't her boyfriend (and he wasn't gay, either), and they had been overtly flirting with each other. I yelled out to my boyfriend right then that I would kick his a** if he ever did that. I think a friendly hug is fine, but just about anything else that involves touching at all is not okay with me. Also, any secret correspondence with the opposite sex (if you wouldn't let me read it, then you probably shouldn't write it...?) or correspondence that suggests that there should be a physical relationship would really hurt me.
    Oh, and of course, that girl and guy on the show went on to make out heavily and ended up in his bed. Sad times, and now that girl's boyfriend gets to be humiliated when everyone watches the show.
    Springer? Cheaters? Maury Povich?

    Real World/Road Rules Challenge. Were you talking about Paula and Tyree??

    Not that I watch that sort of trashy television, only the History channel in my house...
  • stablesong
    stablesong Posts: 224
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    Anything you do with another person that you can't tell you significant other about is wrong. I don't know if I'd consider it cheating, but I'd be angry if my boyfriend was flirting with someone else while we were together. Anything past that and he'd be kicked to the curb.

    I've never cheated and I don't think he's ever cheated on me. There was an incident at a party he was at, when a girl (my best friend's girlfriend to be exact) got into his bed while he was sleeping. She was hammered and I think he was pretty drunk but just asleep, not passed out. He didn't tell me about it until two days later when I confronted him about it, after my best friend told me. He swears up and down nothing happened, but it still makes me very uncomfortable and caused a lot of problems for us for a while.
  • Moe4572
    Moe4572 Posts: 1,430 Member
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    I agre with many here....if you wouldn't want your SO to see/hear/read what you are doing, because it would hurt them, then it is cheating.

    I was cheated on by ex husband, and he told me that he "emotionally cheated" on me. However, I had already recieved an email at that point saying "I think your husband is having an affair with my wife".........more than emotional cheating!
  • tabinmaine
    tabinmaine Posts: 965 Member
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    I have said to my husband on occasion that if he ever has an affair or one night stand that he had better do his damnest to make sure that I never find out, I don't want to know, I don't want him to come to me drunk or filled with guilt and needing to confess.....

    Just leave me alone in my own ignorant perfect bliss.... don't drag me down because you messed up one night..... lol We have far too much invested in time, money and love to mess it up with having to confess...ignorance is bliss.

    If I were to ever have an affair I would do the same thing for him, why hurt him and ruin our relationship and all we have built together over a one night stand or something.... I love him and therefore never plan on doing anything to jeopardise that but if I did I would NEVER tell him.... I would be taking it to my grave.....
  • wantangbob
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    The philosophy that my wife and I have is that it isn't cheating if you would do it with\to your parents.
  • christibam
    christibam Posts: 478 Member
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    Anything physical that is either sexual or flirtatious in nature. ie: Sex, kissing, hand holding (if more than sympathy), passionate back rubs, etc.

    Anything emotional that oversteps friendship boundaries or mentioning something like, "I wish I was single so we could hook up."

    Those are no-nos.

    Flirting, watching porn (by himself obviously), staring at boobs, etc. In my opinion, those things are not cheating.
  • LuckyLeprechaun
    LuckyLeprechaun Posts: 6,296 Member
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    Would you and your partner be willing to switch cell phones for a week? If the answer is no, one of you is probably cheating.

    BUT he has a ghetto piece of crap and I LURVE my iPhone! :love: :heart:

    Haha I assure you nobody is cheating, but he can't have my precioussssssss :laugh:
  • Sidesteal
    Sidesteal Posts: 5,510 Member
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    I think it depends if we're talking about an entire cheat day or just a cheat meal.


    wut
  • Rae6503
    Rae6503 Posts: 6,294 Member
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    Sex = "cheating".


    However there are a lot of non-sex things that would still get him in big HUGE trouble.
  • TeutonicKnight
    TeutonicKnight Posts: 367 Member
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    If you're not in the same zipcode as your SO at the time, is it still cheating?
  • jennifermcornett
    jennifermcornett Posts: 159 Member
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    I was watching a show last night where a girl who had a boyfriend was walking into a club holding hands with a guy who wasn't her boyfriend (and he wasn't gay, either), and they had been overtly flirting with each other. I yelled out to my boyfriend right then that I would kick his a** if he ever did that. I think a friendly hug is fine, but just about anything else that involves touching at all is not okay with me. Also, any secret correspondence with the opposite sex (if you wouldn't let me read it, then you probably shouldn't write it...?) or correspondence that suggests that there should be a physical relationship would really hurt me.
    Oh, and of course, that girl and guy on the show went on to make out heavily and ended up in his bed. Sad times, and now that girl's boyfriend gets to be humiliated when everyone watches the show.
    Springer? Cheaters? Maury Povich?

    Real World/Road Rules Challenge. Were you talking about Paula and Tyree??

    Not that I watch that sort of trashy television, only the History channel in my house...

    Ha, of course it was History channel... Or maybe Paula and Tyree... Yeah, we all knew it was coming, but I just can't imagine the humiliation that boyfriend is feeling right about now.
    I dreamed about my boyfriend cheating on me last night and woke up pissed off at him for it. :) Obviously reality TV rots your brain...
  • Miss♥Ivi
    Miss♥Ivi Posts: 461
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    I'd much rather a drunken one-night-stand than a long term affair for example.

    This. I'm quicker to forgive a slip up like this than an ongoing emotional relationship. Because it's one thing to say he fell to temptation and another to say he fell in love.

    I've cheated and been cheated on. When I found out I was being cheated on, I wasn't angry or hurt or anything. Loved him to pieces but people have the right to fall out of love with their SO's. It happens. Who am I to make them stay and work on something that no longer exists? So we broke up and he got with the other girl. Now they're happily married and have a 3 month old :smile: We weren't for each other. No sappy ending, no crying, no guilt.

    When I cheated, I flat out told my ex of four and a half years, "Hey, you're not making the cut. We can either pretend I'm not cheating on you OR you can pack up your things and go. It's not working, hasn't been for years and I'm sick of trying. Now hurry up because I have a date in about 3 hours."

    Life is too short to waste it with someone that isn't right for you. And that goes both ways.
  • christibam
    christibam Posts: 478 Member
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    Would you and your partner be willing to switch cell phones for a week? If the answer is no, one of you is probably cheating.

    That's not very precise science right there. I would never be willing to switch cell phones with my husband for a week. Never.

    1. he would end up throwing my phone against a wall from all my friends not shutting up with the texting. Seriously, I get about 100-200 texts daily, depending on if I say anything back or not.

    2. I have an iPhone. He has a Droid.

    3. I use so many apps on my phone on a daily basis. (ie: Run Keeper, MFP, Pandora, etc) I don't want to go without those or deal with changing his stuff to my stuff.



    Just because someone is unwilling to switch cell phones does not mean they are unfaithful. That's just horrible logic, in my opinion.
  • christibam
    christibam Posts: 478 Member
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    If you're not in the same zipcode as your SO at the time, is it still cheating?

    Not in the same zip code? Yes.

    Not in the same area code? Hells nah, Broseph!
  • TeutonicKnight
    TeutonicKnight Posts: 367 Member
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    Would you and your partner be willing to switch cell phones for a week? If the answer is no, one of you is probably cheating.

    That's not very precise science right there. I would never be willing to switch cell phones with my husband for a week. Never.

    1. he would end up throwing my phone against a wall from all my friends not shutting up with the texting. Seriously, I get about 100-200 texts daily, depending on if I say anything back or not.

    2. I have an iPhone. He has a Droid.

    3. I use so many apps on my phone on a daily basis. (ie: Run Keeper, MFP, Pandora, etc) I don't want to go without those or deal with changing his stuff to my stuff.



    Just because someone is unwilling to switch cell phones does not mean they are unfaithful. That's just horrible logic, in my opinion.

    ^^THIS! My spouse would rather give me one of her kidneys than her iPhone. She can have my phone, and all the e-mails I get from work on it! BAHAHA! Plus, my phone can only text if you use speech to text, the keyboard and touchscreen for texting are broken!
  • TeutonicKnight
    TeutonicKnight Posts: 367 Member
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    If you're not in the same zipcode as your SO at the time, is it still cheating?

    Not in the same zip code? Yes.

    Not in the same area code? Hells nah, Broseph!

    If I say you are awesome, is that cheating? I called another girl awesome!! I AM A *kitten*!
  • mrsjennifermaffei
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    Cheating is when you sneak around or do something with another person your partner doesn't know about and/or wouldn't like. If you can't do it with them looking over your shoulder, its probably cheating!
  • christibam
    christibam Posts: 478 Member
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    If you're not in the same zipcode as your SO at the time, is it still cheating?

    Not in the same zip code? Yes.

    Not in the same area code? Hells nah, Broseph!

    If I say you are awesome, is that cheating? I called another girl awesome!! I AM A *kitten*!

    I dunno. What area code are you in? I think it still doesn't count if you and the other person are in different area codes too...
  • iwillsoonbeslim
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    If you do something that you would be unhappy about your partner doing with A. N. Other, then you probably know you're about to cross a line....
  • MissAlexxMarie
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    I'd much rather a drunken one-night-stand than a long term affair for example.

    This. I'm quicker to forgive a slip up like this than an ongoing emotional relationship. Because it's one thing to say he fell to temptation and another to say he fell in love.

    I've cheated and been cheated on. When I found out I was being cheated on, I wasn't angry or hurt or anything. Loved him to pieces but people have the right to fall out of love with their SO's. It happens. Who am I to make them stay and work on something that no longer exists? So we broke up and he got with the other girl. Now they're happily married and have a 3 month old :smile: We weren't for each other. No sappy ending, no crying, no guilt.

    When I cheated, I flat out told my ex of four and a half years, "Hey, you're not making the cut. We can either pretend I'm not cheating on you OR you can pack up your things and go. It's not working, hasn't been for years and I'm sick of trying. Now hurry up because I have a date in about 3 hours."

    Life is too short to waste it with someone that isn't right for you. And that goes both ways.



    What in the f**kin world?!! I would not forgive a slip up? Who teaches these women it's ok to cheat and it's ok to forgive! If you accept for someone to cheat on you with somebody that was "attractive" what kind of standards do you set for yourself? Why in the hell would you forgive them? why not find somebody that won't do it to you? And the fact that you would say that to someone you dated for so long is pathetic. Doesn't make you awesome-sauce! Just saying! Grow up!!