Can you handle having a CLINGY significant other?

Options
135678

Replies

  • love22step
    love22step Posts: 1,103 Member
    Options
    Of course not! Why is he still your boyfriend?

    Edit: I went back and saw why you like him. I suppose it's kinda sweet, if you like that sorta thing. I have a male friend who's like that with his wife. I teased him that I've seen Jr. High boys act like that. I'm pretty sure there are people who can appreciate a super-sensitive man/woman like that, but most of us can't. I think giving each other space helps my husband and I to better enjoy and appreciate the time we spend together. Good luck to both of you. May you live happily ever after--with or without each other.
  • laurel1211
    laurel1211 Posts: 2
    Options
    Honestly, you just need to talk with him about it. My boyfriend was using the "I love you" after 2 weeks and I had to explain to him that it meant something to me. IDK
    Communication is good. Brutal honesty is why my boyfriend and I are still together.
  • 7bel0
    7bel0 Posts: 192 Member
    Options
    Are you sure he's a guy?


    jk If you are uncomfortable something is wrong - listen to your instincts.

    agrreeed! totallllllyyy!
  • wittlelacey
    wittlelacey Posts: 412 Member
    Options
    Of course not! Why is he still your boyfriend?
    I fell for him.
  • Erinslove
    Erinslove Posts: 139
    Options
    "I love that my boyfriend is clingy in a way and jealous, it shows he cares about me"

    " boys crying so much is such a turn off."

    Clingy/jealous people are not showing love...they are insecure. I am not NOT saying your BF doesn't love you.I am sure he adores you. I am speaking of my feelings about being overly clingy and a jealous person in general. I have no doubt you guys are happy just making a point about how I feel about jealousy.

    I find it sad when men are not encouraged to feel and express their full range of emotions. Crying is a normal and needed human release for everyone and is not gender specific.
  • Thad81
    Thad81 Posts: 138 Member
    Options
    This kind of thing gets old in a hurry. I think it is a sign of a insecure person to need to display that kind of affection all the time. I would run the other way, but that is only me.
  • wittlelacey
    wittlelacey Posts: 412 Member
    Options
    Honestly, you just need to talk with him about it. My boyfriend was using the "I love you" after 2 weeks and I had to explain to him that it meant something to me. IDK
    Communication is good. Brutal honesty is why my boyfriend and I are still together.
    You're very right :) Thank you!
  • wickedcricket
    wickedcricket Posts: 1,246 Member
    Options
    omg! are you kidding me? gack! no- I'd kick him so far so fast he'd get the fkin 'bends' and btw- that's NOT love. Any sick, twisted suffocating obsession is NOT love. in fact, it's not even about YOU at all- it's about HIS NEEDS- HIS INSECURITY. He'd be that way with ANYONE who lets him.
    Love isn't possessive. Love isn't an obligation or debt. Love is a gift, freely given with NO expectation or condtions

    ick- no. THIS is why I will live alone until I die. Which I wll also do with some smelly sweat-badger clinging to me.
  • Ree_Chatelain
    Ree_Chatelain Posts: 229 Member
    Options
    I understand where you are coming from here, since mine is similar. Have you tried talking to him and explaining that he needs to back off a bit so you can breath and live. I've had that talk with my boyfriend and it has helped some. Honesty and communication is very important for a relationship to work.
  • journalistjen
    journalistjen Posts: 265 Member
    Options
    That person has too many mental/emotional issues. You have a right to privacy, freedom, and autonomy. You need to leave this relationship, and hopefully, this person will seek professional help.
  • susannamarie
    susannamarie Posts: 2,148 Member
    Options
    hahaha didn't think so, no worries :) I've gone through many boyfriends and have dumped them all. I'm very picky, and fell for this one fast. At first, I loved our relationship! I can admit I was a little clingy, but an average amount-nowhere near this! The last couple of weeks have been different. It's more annoying than cute. When I try to approach him about it, I get the waterworks. He's a terrific person, so there's a special place in my heart for this boy, but unless our relationship can escape the "puppy love" stage, there's no future for us. I will give him time, but I may end up leaving. It just pains me so much, he treats me so well and I do love him. It's tough.

    It may be easier for both of you to write him a note expressing your concerns. That way he can process it in private.
  • wittlelacey
    wittlelacey Posts: 412 Member
    Options
    I understand where you are coming from here, since mine is similar. Have you tried talking to him and explaining that he needs to back off a bit so you can breath and live. I've had that talk with my boyfriend and it has helped some. Honesty and communication is very important for a relationship to work.
    I have definitely attempted it, and he shuts me down. He starts crying and saying he can't handle talking about things like that. And it just isn't pretty. We really need to talk. Thank you!
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,081 Member
    Options
    If you do try to leave, be verrrrrrry careful. He may threaten suicide or he may threaten to harm you or someone you love. Do not fall for the manipulation, but do tell someone in authority. These types of guys will tell you they can't live without you.....until you decide you can live without them, then the tears turn to revenge.

    This much "passion" has a dark side.
  • TweedleDebo
    TweedleDebo Posts: 423 Member
    Options
    I would go nuts!
  • Erinslove
    Erinslove Posts: 139
    Options
    To the OP. Everyone is different and different people like different levels of together time, affection and sappy romance. Some love tons, others little. Neither position is right or wrong just different. Sounds like you guys are on different pages. Maybe find someone on your page?

    P.S. Best of luck to you and I hope u find happiness!
  • marekdds
    marekdds Posts: 2,209 Member
    Options
    No! You are not crazy! But this would make me crazy. I've been married 41 years, we obviously enjoy each other's company, but we need our own space. If this is making you uncomfortable now, get out. Breaking his heart is not a reason to stay and ruin your life. Follow your instincts.
  • BarbWhite09
    BarbWhite09 Posts: 1,128 Member
    Options
    I wouldn't survive 3 days & I'd lose my damn mind. I thought I was clingy...but the things you described, I'm waaay less clingy than that! Lol
  • Amom2Two
    Amom2Two Posts: 10 Member
    Options
    maybe he just has OCD?

    Yep, got to agree with this one. My husband of 18 years has most of those traits and he has OCD. He never grew out of it and he got worst wtih time. The list also gets longer the more years I am with him. One annoying one is not wanting to . go to his families house without me, even though I don't like his family.... Here's another ,,,.demanding we spend every Christmas day wtih his sister...who does not like me. This is the first year, I said no. No to her coming here, no to me going there. Oh it was a big fight....but you know what....i had it. I had enough of his controlling behavior. Now I go and do what I want and he whines about it.

    My advice..............run...run very fast......
  • spearfox
    spearfox Posts: 276 Member
    Options
    Sometimes you have to care for yourself, not whether you will shatter his heart.
    He has set it up so that you will break his heart unless he always has you.
    RUN, RUN FAR AWAY!

    And if things ever get broken off, DO NOT COMMUNICATE ANYMORE!
    I have heard and seen the "remaining friends" or whatever. All it is is a ploy to stay in touch and convince you to change your mind and take the person back.
  • xtinalovexo
    xtinalovexo Posts: 1,376 Member
    Options
    overall based on this description i am kind of clingy :/

    this is why i do not date.

    some people are naturally very attached and interested in you. when i like someone alot, i just cant get enough. i do also have my space and dont say i love you quick, but i love frequently interacting and telling my man how much i like him or how good he looks or anything i want to say.

Categories