Can you handle having a CLINGY significant other?
Replies
-
Well, you've lasted 3 months and 29 days longer than I would have in a relationship like that. LMAO, but seriously...I'm really independent and have a pretty strong personality (I've been told I can be a bit intimidating and am really hard to read) and clingy just isn't going to work. That's not to say that relationships like that can't work. My younger sister and her bf of over a year are pretty attached to each other and do everything they can together. While I could never do that because I need to be alone sometimes or go out with just the girls, it totally works for them. To each their own I guess...0
-
NO!!!!!!
That's just creepy!0 -
Wanting to talk on the phone every single night, without fail. -Me and my boyfriend have been doing this most nights for 2 years
HAVE to text you 24/7 (or during every waking second). - yup we do this everyday
Make long texts/poems/notes/letters/wall posts/messages describing their infinite love for you on a daily basis. - not on a daily basis xD that is a bit much. But my boyfriend will send me these occasionally while i sleep
Can't be near you without holding/touching you in some way, shape, or form. - how we are a lot when we are together
maybe it is different since we are in a long distance relationship though. I love that he is like that though.
Yeah i agree that is what im doing too its more than reasonable with long distance imo for the sole fact im going through that. And for the op i would give him a chance i mean sure it may seem a bit bizarre but its like children they go through stages if you will, as time passes it'll dissipate im sure0 -
Wanting to talk on the phone every single night, without fail. -Me and my boyfriend have been doing this most nights for 2 years
HAVE to text you 24/7 (or during every waking second). - yup we do this everyday
Make long texts/poems/notes/letters/wall posts/messages describing their infinite love for you on a daily basis. - not on a daily basis xD that is a bit much. But my boyfriend will send me these occasionally while i sleep
Can't be near you without holding/touching you in some way, shape, or form. - how we are a lot when we are together
maybe it is different since we are in a long distance relationship though. I love that he is like that though.
Yeah i agree that is what im doing too its more than reasonable with long distance imo for the sole fact im going through that. And for the op i would give him a chance i mean sure it may seem a bit bizarre but its like children they go through stages if you will, as time passes it'll dissipate im sure
Very wise padawan - I concur.0 -
Run!! It will only get worse.
this0 -
DEVILS ADVOCATE:
So ask yourself this, are you fueling this type of behavior? He actually might think you like it.0 -
DEVILS ADVOCATE:
So ask yourself this, are you fueling this type of behavior? He actually might think you like it.0 -
If you are happy with him in general, give him some more time and SET BOUNDARIES about how often you will talk/contact each other. If he cannot follow them, then get the heck outta dodge!!0
-
Nope, can't deal with it personally, but I tend to be guilty of grabbing my mans junk constantly when I have one. Not when we're with other people, but just like when it's us kickin it around the house.0
-
sounds like a teenage romance to me0
-
He is WAY TOO insecure of himself so controling you makes him feel better RUN NOW WHILE YOU STILL CAN the longer you wait the worse it will be. Once he figures out he cant control you is when bad things start to happen. I hope you have a strong support system and a safe place to go. ask yourself is he stocking me is he having others watch my every move if your parents dont aprove of him really listen to the reasons why IF any of this is true get help dont do this alone0
-
My husband and I were like this and we have been together for 16 years now and we still do a sappy good night phrase we said every night.
However, what may be clingy to one person may just be normal to another. I had a guy I dated that after 4 months we were on a double date with his sister and I wanted to hold his hand. The next day I asked about what his sister thought about me and he said she thought I was too clingy because I 'forced' him to hold my hand. WOW! I hung up on him and never spoke to him again. HOW'S THAT FOR CLINGY YOU SOB!!!!!0 -
I would say try to talk again. If you are as important as he thinks you are then he should listen to what you have to say. If you can't have a conversation with him now, it doesn't get any better the longer you are together. Let him know how it is making you feel. Tell him you appreciate him, but that you need a little space. Tell him that ff you don't get your space, things won't work out for sure. I don't think he would want to end it with you and he just might listen. Good luck to you!0
-
noooooo way!
Well, technically I married one. But that cutesy puppy stuff turned controlling. Be aware of that - insecurity and control issue warning signs.0 -
I'm a happy participant in a co-dependent relationship. We're clingy and sappy. He needs to know where I am at all times. I use Google latitude on my phone, which we jokingly call Google Stalk, and it updates my gps location for him (and only him) throughout the day. The first time he called me to give me directions because he saw that I had taken a wrong turn was a bit creepy, but I'm used to it now. He's just the kind of person that is always imagining all of the horrible things that could have happened.
Husband doesn't have control issues. I sure as heck do, but we have a happy thing going on here. I don't mind that he wants to know I'm safe.
We constantly overuse the L word. And we are always touching in public. And although we do have busy days where things get too hectic, for the most part we keep conversation going on over IM all day.
I think the biggest problem with your relationship is not his behavior, but your reaction to it. Not that it's bad, but rather that his relationship mode is obviously not meshing with yours. You function differently. If this is driving you nuts now, do you really think it will change?0 -
I was with a guy like this for several years. Final straw was when he tried to sit on my lap because he was jealous of my niece and nephew sitting on my lap. Dropped him and never looked back. It wasn't a partnership the way a relationship should be, it was a parasitic relationship. He wasn't happy unless he was clinging to me 24/7. I felt like I couldn't breathe most of the time. He was smothering me slowly. I felt like I lost 50 pounds the day I dumped him.0
-
Emphasis on CLINGY. I'm talking a boyfriend or girlfriend who:
Overplay the phrase "I love you"
Can't go an hour apart without letting you know that they miss you terribly.
Saying you'll be together forever after 2 months.
Wanting to talk on the phone every single night, without fail.
HAVE to text you 24/7 (or during every waking second).
Want to hang out every day.
Cry (boys too!) whenever they think you're remotely upset.
Say "Do you not love me anymore? Are you going to dump me?" during every argument.
Make long texts/poems/notes/letters/wall posts/messages describing their infinite love for you on a daily basis.
Can't be near you without holding/touching you in some way, shape, or form.
etc. etc.
Note: All of the above describe my boyfriend of 4 months. These were just the ones that came to the top of my head instantly, there's plenty more but this is the jist. I feel suffocated and I need to know-am I crazy for feeling discontent by all this affection or am I a lucky girl to have a boyfriend so sensitive and considerate? How do you guys handle this? Turn on or turn off?
A.C.E. Certified Personal Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition0 -
I'd shoot myself or them. Not sure which.0
-
NO NO NO!!! I am an introvert to the core, and I hate when people try to smother me. That is why I am only compatible with other introverts because I need a lot of alone time, quietness and personal space. I seriously don't need to see my SO, family, or most people every day to function.
This is also me to a tee, I have a very limited amount of time I can be sociable with others and go crazy if I'm around anybody for too long. I NEED my own time and space, and a lot of it. So someone clingy like this definitely wouldn't cut it for me!0 -
I LOVED it when my fiance used to be clingy/overprotective/jealous. It showed me that he cared. I never had that happen to me before, so of course it was nice!!
But then, after a while, it got WAYYY out of hand where he wouldnt even let me see my girlfriends because he thought there would be guys there...seriously? There were ALOT of other things too, but i dont wanna go into details :P
get out of the relationship...IT WILL GET SO MUCH WORSE!!0 -
I couldn't put it with it, no way.
If they miss me after being out of the house for a couple of hours they clearly they are too dull to keep themselves entertained.
If I'm so important to them, then they need to get some other hobbies.0 -
Yeah, my significant other started out like that but she's mellowed out quite a bit. I don't mind it personally. Kinda flattering.0
-
If they miss me after being out of the house for a couple of hours they clearly they are too dull to keep themselves entertained.
Love this XD0 -
He has codependent behaviors. Not good. I agree with the others, run, run fast and far.
THIS!!! Codependency is no fun. And if you're putting up with it, well something's going on in you.0 -
0
-
I would be cleaning the blood stains off of my baseball bat for weeks. Yuck.
Tell him to back off some. If he doesn't, then end it.0 -
I have been married for 4 years now and mine acts like this all combined from time to time and I will tell you it is annoying as hell!!
He didn't act this way while we were dating, nor for the first year or two. He started this about a year ago, if he is acting this way now, then how is he going to act later on when he feels insecure because you are working out with a guy or something?
You make your own decisions luv, and I will tell you it is very hard to put up with on the long term. Men who act this way are like children and it is difficult to look at them with love, admiration and respect. Especially when they make a big deal out of little stuff that just doesn't matter and not in a good way.
Good luck sweetie and remember there are plenty of fish in the sea0 -
hell to the nah.0
-
Well, no, that sounds miserable. That's a tough situation for sure!
If you really love him, tell him specific ways that he needs to back off. I emphasize being specific. Just saying, "Stop being so clingy" isn't enough.
However, don't stay with anybody just because his heart will shatter if you leave him. That's a recipe for unhappiness for both of you. If you don't love the guy, don't stay with him out of pity. Let him go and find someone who will love him back.
Good luck!0 -
Gawd no! That would drive me effin insane. I'm not even a big fan of holding hands for longer than 2 mins. RUN! Use this as an excuse to get some serious cardio going.0
This discussion has been closed.
Categories
- All Categories
- 1.4M Health, Wellness and Goals
- 393.4K Introduce Yourself
- 43.8K Getting Started
- 260.2K Health and Weight Loss
- 175.9K Food and Nutrition
- 47.4K Recipes
- 232.5K Fitness and Exercise
- 426 Sleep, Mindfulness and Overall Wellness
- 6.5K Goal: Maintaining Weight
- 8.5K Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
- 153K Motivation and Support
- 8K Challenges
- 1.3K Debate Club
- 96.3K Chit-Chat
- 2.5K Fun and Games
- 3.7K MyFitnessPal Information
- 24 News and Announcements
- 1.1K Feature Suggestions and Ideas
- 2.6K MyFitnessPal Tech Support Questions