What's ur Best Marriage Advice

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  • ItsMeRebekah
    ItsMeRebekah Posts: 910 Member
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    talk to them and tell them what you feel/when you feel it.
    thats so important to me.
  • kjpersich
    kjpersich Posts: 55 Member
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    Fight fair, and right respectfully. There is no need for name calling or criticism. Also, never do anything behind your spouse's back that you wouldn't do if he was right in front of you.
  • sarahruizfitnessjourney
    sarahruizfitnessjourney Posts: 192 Member
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    Open communication. Talk about EVERYTHING. EVERYTHING.

    And flirt.
    I also agree with this. I've been with my husband almost 11 years married almost 6. The best advice I can give is open communication and complete honesty. Talk about everything and don't keep any kind of secrets from each other. Also be each others best friend.
  • Bahet
    Bahet Posts: 1,254 Member
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    Married almost 19 years. My parents have been married 45 years. Their parents were married until death. So I've learned a few things along the way.

    1. If you wouldn't marry him if he was broke/heavy/ etc then don't marry him. Looks change. Finances change. Marry because you know you will love him as much when he's a saggy 80yo as you do today.

    2. Do little things to let him know you love him. I pinch my hubby's big toes. I leave a note in the morning on weekends to say that coffee is all set up. There are a lot more but see #3.

    3. Keep some private cute things you do/say. My dad calls my mom WW. They won't tell us what it stands for. Hubby and I sign notes with ILYAYMBF! (It means I love you and you're my best friend! -- something kid 2 used to say) but while I did just post it here when I sign it to him in an email no one else knows what it means.

    4. Have fun together. One of my fondest memories of my parents is my dad chasing my mom down the hallway tickling her and she was running away giggling. Your spouse should be your best friend. Act it.

    5. I disagree on the "never go to bed angry" rule. Sometimes you are just dang tired and ticked off and have to get up early. Sometimes just sleeping on it will make you realize that he had a good point or it wasn't hat big of a deal in the first place. If not, you can always continue to discuss it later.

    6. Never sleep apart unless there is no option. Obviously, if one of you travels for work it's not an option. But if you are angry you should still sleep in the same bed. Don't move yourself or him to the guest room or couch. It's easy to move apart, it's not so easy to move back together.

    7. No matter how angry you are, don't yell. You are both adults and should be able to have a rational conversation even if you disagree. Hubby grew up in a family where his dad yelled a lot. When we were first married we got into an argument. He started yelling. I stood up, walked up the stairs, and stood as far away from him as I could while still being able to see each other. He asked what I was doing. I told him that if he wanted to have an adult conversation I'd come back down but if he was going to yell I'd at least give him a reason to have to yell so he could be heard. We've never yelled at each other since.

    8. Realize that even though it's a partnership, it won't always be 50/50. Sometimes it will be 90/10 and sometimes it will be 10/90.

    9. Know all the important things about each other before getting married. How many kids do you want? How long do you want to be married before starting a family? Will one of you be an at home parent? Where will you spend holidays? Know each other's spending habits. etc

    10. Above all, never, ever mention the D word unless you absolutely, positively mean it.
  • loseweightjames
    loseweightjames Posts: 365
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    So in 3 months I will be married. You always hear the horrible stuff but that's not what I am here for. With that being said I am looking for the besy marriage advice from some happily married people. It would be nice to have it before a rocky road or bad time occurs. So I am all ears........

    Cheat. Both of you. But remember where you sleep at night. We're all human, we all want something different once in awhile, no matter how great something is you'll always want something different every so often.

    Never lie about money.
  • PattyfromToledo
    PattyfromToledo Posts: 74 Member
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    It's impossible to not go to bed mad... if your mad you are... but don't let it linger... get it out in the open and move on. Also... be open and honest 100% of the time...makes things much easier in the end. good luck!!!
  • mrssmith636
    mrssmith636 Posts: 80 Member
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    Let your husband "think" he is right sometimes. Lol.
  • IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym
    IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym Posts: 5,573 Member
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    if you want a broken marriage, share the few problems between you with friends, family and Facebook. If you want a solid marriage, DON'T share your personal, marital problems with others, but DO share the MANY positive memories in your life with each other. :bigsmile:
  • mjf0461
    mjf0461 Posts: 470 Member
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    Communication, Trust, Respect for each other, Loyality to each other, Love.. Keys to a great marriage...
  • Destinie589
    Destinie589 Posts: 211
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    Work as a team and have sex. And don't forget to say please and thank you.
  • CRSE1214
    CRSE1214 Posts: 196 Member
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    Respect each other, loyalty, communication, compromise, and don't sweat the small stuff. We've been together 21 years (married 10)!!! Good luck in your future marriage.
  • lissypriss
    lissypriss Posts: 157 Member
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    Being married for 17 years, I can honestly say..laugh and joke! Nothing shows love more than walking around at walmart, then out of nowhere he shouts "Alissa, quit touching me there!! Rape!"....aaahhhh, love..:blushing:
  • MyFeistyEvolution
    MyFeistyEvolution Posts: 1,015 Member
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    if you want a broken marriage, share the few problems between you with friends, family and Facebook. If you want a solid marriage, DON'T share your personal, marital counseling with others , but DO share the MANY positive memories in your life with each other. :bigsmile:

    SERIOUSLY! Definitely a big no no....I watch too many people have friends and family in their fights and it's a downward spiral!!! Gah!!!
  • MakingProgress
    MakingProgress Posts: 19
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    Laugh. Don't forget your sense of humor, and don't forget to have fun. Laugh, as much as possible, laugh.

    Don't forget to talk to each other about something other than work, money and kids (once you have them, if you don't already).

    Eek out a little time every day to spend together, even if it's just 10 minutes before bed.

    I personally do not subscribe to the "don't go to bed angry" theory. I'm a very non-confrontational person for the most part, and when I get angry, I need time to cool down. Sometimes, bed is the best place for me to do that. I think "don't go to bed angry" is a very one size fits all approach, and in my marriage, it would be incorrect. I will say, though - don't let things fester. Don't ignore things that you feel strongly about - money, sex, kids, whatever - get it out in the open, but do it calmly and with some forethought. If we were to stay up all night to "talk things out" all we'd be is grumpy, still fighting and tired at the first light of dawn. Give me some time to get some space where I can think about what's going on and be rational, and I'm more than happy to work things out. So, my advice is, find what works for you in the resolution dispute department and then agree to the ground rules and let it work for you.

    Good luck!
  • bluberrygoo
    bluberrygoo Posts: 222 Member
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    There are NO secrets! My husband and I tell each other EVERYTHING. Be painfully honest if you have to be, I have been with my husband for almost 14 years and I am only 30 we still gab like girls lol he is my best friend in the whole world.

    This and sex is important, if you're not in the mood then just do something for him.
  • PattyfromToledo
    PattyfromToledo Posts: 74 Member
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    Dislike the advice to cheat...
  • pamelad77
    pamelad77 Posts: 292 Member
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    Run
  • thinktank32k
    thinktank32k Posts: 716
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    Married almost 19 years. My parents have been married 45 years. Their parents were married until death. So I've learned a few things along the way.

    1. If you wouldn't marry him if he was broke/heavy/ etc then don't marry him. Looks change. Finances change. Marry because you know you will love him as much when he's a saggy 80yo as you do today.

    2. Do little things to let him know you love him. I pinch my hubby's big toes. I leave a note in the morning on weekends to say that coffee is all set up. There are a lot more but see #3.

    3. Keep some private cute things you do/say. My dad calls my mom WW. They won't tell us what it stands for. Hubby and I sign notes with ILYAYMBF! (It means I love you and you're my best friend! -- something kid 2 used to say) but while I did just post it here when I sign it to him in an email no one else knows what it means.

    4. Have fun together. One of my fondest memories of my parents is my dad chasing my mom down the hallway tickling her and she was running away giggling. Your spouse should be your best friend. Act it.

    5. I disagree on the "never go to bed angry" rule. Sometimes you are just dang tired and ticked off and have to get up early. Sometimes just sleeping on it will make you realize that he had a good point or it wasn't hat big of a deal in the first place. If not, you can always continue to discuss it later.

    6. Never sleep apart unless there is no option. Obviously, if one of you travels for work it's not an option. But if you are angry you should still sleep in the same bed. Don't move yourself or him to the guest room or couch. It's easy to move apart, it's not so easy to move back together.

    7. No matter how angry you are, don't yell. You are both adults and should be able to have a rational conversation even if you disagree. Hubby grew up in a family where his dad yelled a lot. When we were first married we got into an argument. He started yelling. I stood up, walked up the stairs, and stood as far away from him as I could while still being able to see each other. He asked what I was doing. I told him that if he wanted to have an adult conversation I'd come back down but if he was going to yell I'd at least give him a reason to have to yell so he could be heard. We've never yelled at each other since.

    8. Realize that even though it's a partnership, it won't always be 50/50. Sometimes it will be 90/10 and sometimes it will be 10/90.

    9. Know all the important things about each other before getting married. How many kids do you want? How long do you want to be married before starting a family? Will one of you be an at home parent? Where will you spend holidays? Know each other's spending habits. etc

    10. Above all, never, ever mention the D word unless you absolutely, positively mean it.

    This is awesome!!!
  • Rae6503
    Rae6503 Posts: 6,294 Member
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    We go to bed angry all the time. Sometimes words can't solve things anymore and time is required.
  • CapsFan17
    CapsFan17 Posts: 198
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    I've been with my husband for 9 years(?) we'll be married 5 years this June. Communication is HUGE!!! And don't be afraid to tell him what you want. Even if its as small as what you want for your birthday, or what you want for dinner, or what chores you would like him to help with. Guys need directions and the can't figure out what you want or expect them to do. Its also good to talk about things like finances, chores, expectations about children before you get married. That way you're both on the same page. Good Luck!!

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