im not taking anything away from those who have lost a lot o

I agree in most cases but there ARE exceptions, and not just "medical problems".

My partner, for example, eats an average of 4,500 cal a day. We've added up his calories many times. His weight does not vary outside of 79-81kg, and he is 6'4" - BMI of 22. Somewhat buff, relatively muscular, neither "slim" or anywhere near fat. Relatively low activity levels.

He quite happily admits he is a "lucky one"

I know what you mean - I put medical problems etc. basically meaning those 1% who don't fit the standard mould.

My point is more against those who generalise that 1% up to create an excuse for everyone.

I also have to say,
some people who look normal weight may not be healthy!

Example

My friend is 21, weighs around 8 stone and is 5`4.

Her daily intake consists of sugary cereals, pizza, indian curries, crisps, chocolate, you get my drift. That is every day! She never eats healthy salads, etc. She does dance for an hour one day aweek and that's it. So she may look healthy, but infact she's shoveling down rubbish!

Ha-Ha. .

The already skinny people have their cheerleaders... They get all the attention in magazines, tv, movies, in clubs, dating, social events, high average wages, and in generally being treated better. Let the struggling have a moment....

AMEN

I am sorry. Who cares?

Yeah naturally fit people do have that "unspoken" advantage. Sometimes they even start their own dating websites and say "no fatties allowed" SO I think we don't have to feel bad not praising them. They usually have a very good self opinion as it is! ;-)
Sort of joking but sort of not!

The already skinny people have their cheerleaders... They get all the attention in magazines, tv, movies, in clubs, dating, social events, high average wages, and in generally being treated better. Let the struggling have a moment....

^^^^^^^^^^^ This!! Well-said!!!

I see your point.

HOWEVER..... Then should we say kudos to those who never smoked a cigarette, never tried a joint, never drank alcohol, never mainlined.... etc.

It IS an achievement to do it right in the first place, but it's hard to pick and choose every little thing someone did right. It is much easier to notice a dramatic change.

.

Actually, personally I think we SHOULD celebrate not just people who come back from addictions, but also those (esp. kids) who consistently make good choices all along.

As a culture, we do a lot of glorifying people in recovery. I'm not saying we shouldn't celebrate them, but I think there's also an element of gory "rubbernecking" that we do in listening to their stories. It seems the gorier, the farther down they fell, the more we like to hear about it (as a culture, not necessarily as an individual).

The kid who grew up with a lot of temptation, who stayed in school, who never took drugs, who every day made the decision to keep on a path, we never celebrate that kid, and perhaps we should.

So true. It really does take work to always do the right thing, but I guess this is like the prodigal son. The son who had always been there and been faithful "seemed" overlooked while the son who had squandered his inheritance was celebrated when he lost everything and was humbled and dragged his sorry butt home. But really the faithful son had been blessed all the years the other son was out making a mess of his life. The father was just glad to have his son learn his lesson and come back.

Truth is, I'd rather be like the faithful son who steadily worked hard all his life instead of busting my butt double time today. Yes there are some out there who eat like crap and don't exercise but still look thin, but I know more people who eat a healthy moderate diet and exercise daily. I commend them and hope to be in that category one day.

To those people who say that it is just down to luck and genetics - I say bull****.

There is very little difference in the way 2 different people metabolise food. There is a difference however in how much people eat.

I agree, I don't feel like there's much luck involved. Portion control and a lot of moving around keep you the same size. As we've all seen on the before and afters. Once a person controls their portions and exercises, look at the results! It may be that the lifestyle wasn't always there until later on, but you can see right before our eyes what works.

We should be all in this together. Eating right and getting fit, no need to cut others down.

There is something to be said for health aliment and genetics for being overweight but America hasn't gotten heavier for those reasons. As a country we have become less active and being nutritionally irresponsible. That is why the vast majority of this country is overweight. If you analyze the data and look around the world you will see our obesity rate is not because of genetics.

For me, it all clicked when I viewed eating as an addiction. I have been doing that and I just hit the 20 pound mark for weight loss just yesterday. I still have a way to go but right now I am better than I have been in 2 years. If I lose another 7 pounds I will be the lightest I have in almost a decade. Even after that point I still have to lose 30 more pounds for my goal weight. I put myself into this position. Not my genetics, not any health complications, me. An alcoholic can't have just one drink and walk away. People who are recovering alcoholics still have that desire for drinking. Myself, I could have a beer at a bar and then not pick up another drink for another month or two (and have). But with food I have the same type of addiction as an alcoholic. I would love to tear into a fast food joint or grab a bag of chips and dip but I know it will lead to me falling off the track. (Savoring the memory of that delicious food, mmmmm)

I have two you girls (5 and 3) and I am trying to teach them to be active and healthy in their lives. My wife and I serve them their appropriate meals and snacks. After that, if they are still hungry they can pick any fruit or vegetable they want until they feel satisfied. At this age (or really any age for a child) you don't want to be lording over EVERYTHING they eat. That is probably how eating disorders are started. But giving them healthy options is a way to go. We also don't live by the "Clean Plate Club" that I was raised up with.

This post started off fine but there is still a lot of negative attitudes (both sides) about weight loss people vs maintaining people. I look up to people who have remained healthy. I would love to be them and just think of fitness and nutrition as a normal routine in my life like they do. Just because they have never been overweight doesn't mean we should hate on them. I also admire people who are going through a journey like mine. Trying to lose lots of weight and change their fitness and nutrition lifestyle.

first of all, i'm new to MFP and i was feeling excited about how supportive and motivating this site is.. UNTIL THIS MOMENT (not yelling, just capitalizing for emphasis )

ok. i'm going to admit, i do not have as long of a journey as most of the people on here because i am not overweight. that doesn't mean i shouldn't be on MFP does it? i'm on here because i really want to eat healthier and learn how to fuel my body with good food. and also to learn about exercise and what works for me. yes, i want to tone up and lose a few pounds, but i don't need to lose 20, 30, 40+ pounds. i physically can't.

my point is, i'm starting to feel dejected by a lot of these comments. i feel like people on here will look at me and say - oh she's skinny, she doesn't need to lose weight or be on here. i don't want to help her. i hope this isn't true..

Don't be discouraged.
MFP is a great place. But just like a lot of places, there's a little bit of everything here.
Read around the boards some more and you'll see and learn to take what helps and ignore the rest.
And good on you for working towards better habits!

There is something to be said for health aliment and genetics for being overweight but America hasn't gotten heavier for those reasons. As a country we have become less active and being nutritionally irresponsible. That is why the vast majority of this country is overweight. If you analyze the data and look around the world you will see our obesity rate is not because of genetics.

For me, it all clicked when I viewed eating as an addiction. I have been doing that and I just hit the 20 pound mark for weight loss just yesterday. I still have a way to go but right now I am better than I have been in 2 years. If I lose another 7 pounds I will be the lightest I have in almost a decade. Even after that point I still have to lose 30 more pounds for my goal weight. I put myself into this position. Not my genetics, not any health complications, me. An alcoholic can't have just one drink and walk away. People who are recovering alcoholics still have that desire for drinking. Myself, I could have a beer at a bar and then not pick up another drink for another month or two (and have). But with food I have the same type of addiction as an alcoholic. I would love to tear into a fast food joint or grab a bag of chips and dip but I know it will lead to me falling off the track. (Savoring the memory of that delicious food, mmmmm)

I have two you girls (5 and 3) and I am trying to teach them to be active and healthy in their lives. My wife and I serve them their appropriate meals and snacks. After that, if they are still hungry they can pick any fruit or vegetable they want until they feel satisfied. At this age (or really any age for a child) you don't want to be lording over EVERYTHING they eat. That is probably how eating disorders are started. But giving them healthy options is a way to go. We also don't live by the "Clean Plate Club" that I was raised up with.

This post started off fine but there is still a lot of negative attitudes (both sides) about weight loss people vs maintaining people. I look up to people who have remained healthy. I would love to be them and just think of fitness and nutrition as a normal routine in my life like they do. Just because they have never been overweight doesn't mean we should hate on them. I also admire people who are going through a journey like mine. Trying to lose lots of weight and change their fitness and nutrition lifestyle.

^^THIS....is the right attitude - and is one of someone will continue to have success.

I know a girl that is small, I mean small 5 feet tall 100 pounds has been this small since I have known her. she has never done anything to be that way. She had her daughter and walked outta the hospital in her size 0 jeans. I am not going to say its not good for her. But I myself get a little upset because she seems to think that anyone that isnt that small is HUGE! I am a size 5-7 depending on the type of clothes she compared me to a friend of ours that lost 65 pounds!! she asked me if I had thought about seeking out overweight friend for advice on how to lose the weight! She has no idea what it is like to EARN YOUR BODY so no not everyone deserves a pat on the back for being lucky enough to never have to diet or do anything to look that great!

Sounds like the kind of friend no one needs.

I agree and BTW my mother was always tiny like that (although not obnoxious about it like the girl in this scenario sounds) and when she got older she put on a lot of weight because its very hard to maintain that weight, even harder when you're super small and can not eat as much calories as everyone else. Now she exercises all the time and in her 60's is having a hard time just getting into a size 10.