Would you date someone whose religion is different than your

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  • BrunetteRunner87
    BrunetteRunner87 Posts: 591 Member
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    I think this is condescending and unasked for.
  • D446
    D446 Posts: 266 Member
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    Well..now my ex has changed his tune a little, and says he'd allow his children to go to church.
    And you believe him, that's cute.

    gee, thanks.

    Thank you (everyone else) for your responses! Keep them comin'!
    Do you think I'm joking? Honey. Think about it for a few seconds. He didn't suddenly do a 180 on his beliefs. He's telling you what you want to hear to get you back. Open your eyes OK?

    ...I'm going to keep my mouth shut and just ignore you.
    Try looking up the word "gullible" in the dictionary, sweetie. Sorry if the extremely obvious truth offends you.

    I think the way you are speaking so condescendingly is more offensive
  • TheMaidOfAstolat
    TheMaidOfAstolat Posts: 3,222 Member
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    As a Christian I have dated men who are not...all of those relationships failed. I dated and married a man who is/was Christian, it didn't work out but it had nothing to do with beliefs. I have a few friends that are in relationships that have lasted even though their beliefs are different. It can work, but both of you must compromise. My friend grew up in a home where her father was Buddist and her mother was Catholic, she attended church with both parents. Two weeks with mom two week with dad, she no longer believes in either faith, she is agnostic. It's your choice to be with this man...but think of the future. If you were to have children with him and he wouldn't allow them to attend church, it could destroy your marriage. Be careful.
  • ElizabethRoad
    ElizabethRoad Posts: 5,138 Member
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    Well..now my ex has changed his tune a little, and says he'd allow his children to go to church.
    And you believe him, that's cute.

    gee, thanks.

    Thank you (everyone else) for your responses! Keep them comin'!
    Do you think I'm joking? Honey. Think about it for a few seconds. He didn't suddenly do a 180 on his beliefs. He's telling you what you want to hear to get you back. Open your eyes OK?

    Maybe he didn't do a 180 on his beliefs, but he has decided to allow his kids to go to church
    He doesn't HAVE kids. He's talking about fictional children. He started out completely adamant and then changed his tune in order to get his way.
  • fiberartist219
    fiberartist219 Posts: 1,865 Member
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    If you want to hold out for someone who believes what you do and you think your life might be easier that way, that's what you should do. Raise your kids however you want. However, please don't be mad at them if they still decide on something else as adults.

    I'm an atheist, and I have countless stories of how uncomfortable it is when someone doesn't accept me for my religion or lack thereof. Yes, I have dated people with faith before, and yes, I sat quietly when religious topics came up. I'm never going to speak up and shout it from the rooftops that I don't believe, but I'm not going to chime in at prayer time either. I would never tell someone that their religion is "wrong" and I'd prefer that they give me the same respect.

    I did end up marrying another atheist, but even then, we still don't see eye to eye on all things spiritual. We don't want kids though, so the issue of how they would be raised isn't really an issue.
  • Marie92281
    Marie92281 Posts: 194 Member
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    hi! I am a believer and my husband believes but does not attend church with us and does not live his life according to scipture. I think it is very important to have Christ in the center of your marriage because with Christ at the Center that will be your focus.
    Its hard and marriage is hard and why go into a relation ship where you dont belive in the same thing?
  • Lleldiranne
    Lleldiranne Posts: 5,516 Member
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    I'm an Athiest and would prefer to date Athiests and Agnostics. Blind faith is just not something I can be intimate with as a woman of science.

    I wouldn't want my kids to go to church unless I'd educated them about all the different ideas about the origin of the universe and they personally decided to explore that religion.

    Interesting. I am a woman of science (math major, physics minor) and very religious and I see no inconstancies. Science cannot explain the things of faith and spirituality, they are different realms. And I'm okay with that.
    Not all faith is blind. There are some people who have very illuminated reasons for what they believe. Just because you can't understand it or see it doesn't mean the believer is blind.
  • Eats_With_A_Fist_Returns
    Eats_With_A_Fist_Returns Posts: 77
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    With dating/marriage, I think it's really important, specifically because the issue of kids has to be considered. It might not be a problem at first, but if one of you suddenly decides that the issue is very important then how much trouble might it cause?

    General friendships though...no way man. I think that we should all be able to talk about our beliefs with one another and enjoy the company of others who have drastically different religions, cultures, etc. Of course personalities don't always let that happen..but c'est la vie.
  • BrunetteRunner87
    BrunetteRunner87 Posts: 591 Member
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    [/quote]

    I think the way you are speaking so condescendingly is more offensive
    [/quote]

    You're not being condescending I meant the big eyes girl is.

    Besides last I checked relationships are all about compromise
  • katiew00t
    katiew00t Posts: 164
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    Well..now my ex has changed his tune a little, and says he'd allow his children to go to church.
    And you believe him, that's cute.

    gee, thanks.

    Thank you (everyone else) for your responses! Keep them comin'!
    Do you think I'm joking? Honey. Think about it for a few seconds. He didn't suddenly do a 180 on his beliefs. He's telling you what you want to hear to get you back. Open your eyes OK?

    Maybe he didn't do a 180 on his beliefs, but he has decided to allow his kids to go to church
    He doesn't HAVE kids. He's talking about fictional children. He started out completely adamant and then changed his tune in order to get his way.


    He doesn't have kids? Really? Do you actually know ME or HIM? No. So read the original post where all I asked for was people's opinions on dating someone a different religion than you. I am not asking for your opinions on my actual relationship.
  • Fit_Canuck
    Fit_Canuck Posts: 788 Member
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    No. I am not religious and I wouldn't date sOmeone who was.

    You wouldn't date someone who believes in a religion? Ouch that's harsh.

    As for the OP, at the end of the day it comes down to you, are you comfortable dating someone who's beliefs differ from yours. We can all give you our opinions but when all is said and done you'll need to decide what your comfortable with.

    I have my own Catholic beliefs which I don't impose on anyone else and it has never caused any issues with anyone I've dated regardless of their religion.

    Also to the one who says as a woman of science you can't date someone who is religious. Religion for me is a part of my life but only a part, I'm also a firm believer in science and it's many facets. With everything I do I balance each side and take from each something that helps me feel better and makes me happy. I don't personally deal in absolutes.
  • Tskitzo
    Tskitzo Posts: 42
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    I'm a Christian and my bf is agnostic. For me religion is very personal so I'd rather be w someone who believes nothing than someone forcing his beliefs on me. We've discussed beliefs and were fine agreeing to disagree. As for kids I want them to choose their own religion so I will take them to church if they want. I want them to be educated about all religions and we've agreed that if there ever were children we would tell them what we believe if they ask, but make sure they know it's our beliefs and not make it sound like absolute truth. Idk works out well for me.

    I agree with this. I consider myself Christian, though not church-going, and my husband is Agnostic/Atheist. He's somewhere in the middle. Each and every person, and relationship, is different. My husband and I had this discussion, he is fine with them going to church as long as he isn't forced to as well, though his reasons for not going are personal and I respect them. He doesn't care that I want to raise them this way, and we will not force either of our religions on the children, I just think that having them go is a life experience they need, there are many lessons to be learned in a church.
  • megmanning
    megmanning Posts: 20
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    I'm very atheist, anti-religion. I couldn't be in a serious relationship with someone religious.
    My husband is more agnostic and even that borders on being a problem. He has no issues with the kids going to church if they want (but he's not taking them, i.e. go with a friend) wheras I'm totally against them going at all.

    This is just as bigoted and close minded as conservative, right-winged Christianity. It is plain ignorant not to expose your children to as many things as possible and let them decide on their own.

    As for the actual topic, it is much easier to date someone who mostly aligns with your religious beliefs. It is one less thing to fight about that way.
  • MandyMarie01
    MandyMarie01 Posts: 448 Member
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    i think you were right to break up with him. It is really important to date and marry someone who has the same beliefs as you, same faith and practice helps too. (there are different flavors to each denomination)

    I wouldn't date anyone who doesn't believe like me. I have thought about it a couple times in the past, but the first time it didn't work out, for which I am glad, and then the last time, it just was not even going to happen. God protects us. :)
  • Umeboshi
    Umeboshi Posts: 1,637 Member
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    I couldn't date someone who was religious, at least in a serious relationship. If I had kids with them I would need to put my foot down and say NO, we will not be indoctrinating them.
  • SalishSea
    SalishSea Posts: 373 Member
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    No I would never date someone who was truly a believer in the supernatural. I am a atheist, a believer in the power of the universe. Fortunately, my sweet husband feels the same as I do.
  • InnerFatGirl
    InnerFatGirl Posts: 2,687 Member
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    My boyfriend isn't an atheist like me but I could never be with someone who's highly religious or wants to debate with me about Sky-Daddies.

    I am spiritual, though, and so's my BF so we work well on that front.

    I also wouldn't want my kid's going church either, unless they really wanted to.
  • sculley
    sculley Posts: 2,012 Member
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    Well I know when I started dating my husband I was a Christian and he was completely against going to church etc, I simply asked him to not forbid me to go andi wouldnt force him. Well octoberof 2011 he was baptized by his own decision. So honestly just be willing to be open minded and not push if you love him. Just pray for the best for him, you just never know. And by praying I mean ask god to do what and how he thinks is best for your love. Good luck ;)
  • chachadiva150
    chachadiva150 Posts: 482 Member
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    Well..now my ex has changed his tune a little, and says he'd allow his children to go to church. He misses me, still loves me, etc, etc, and wants to get back together. Great! But is he going to ignore everything relating to God except the going to church part? For example, if I am having a conversation about God to my kids, is he just going to leave the room? I really don't see how I can keep God in my life AND my ex at the same time.

    How important do you think it is to date someone who has the same religious beliefs as you? I want your opinions, please!
    If your religion is important, why feel bad about it? Different people believe different things. You have every right to value your spiritual path. He has every right to value his (or lack thereof).

    What is wrong with just accepting that you are two people who want different things in life. This is a big red flag. Why walk down a path that you know has a HIGH potential to blow up in your face?

    I'm sure this guy is a wonderful person. You two are just moving in different directions. There are other guys out there for you.
  • PoeRaven
    PoeRaven Posts: 433 Member
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    No I wouldn't but hindsight is 20/20

    My hubby is my best friend...my soulmate.
    Christ is at the center of our relationship. We are true to Him first and everything else just falls into place.

    Good luck in your search for the answer.

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