"Lost 100lbs & found out what the world thinks of fat ppl"

Great story, thanks for sharing...

My Mom had a gastric bypass... as she lost weight, her confidence soared and she spoke up for herself more. One guy at work actually told her to her face that she was easier to deal with when she was fat. Really, what he meant was that she'd always do whatever he needed her to do without questioning him, even when he was using the company resources for personal use and making her into his errand girl... but it was easier for him that way.

I can totally relate to what she says about growing up in OK too. I grew up in TX and didn't realize you could have eggplant that wasn't fried until I was about 20 years old.

I've never been terribly overweight... definitely not obese, but growing up with a mom and several aunts who were obese was definitely hard at times. There's a saying about if you want to know what a girl's going to look like in 20 years, just look at her mom. And, living in a small town, if someone's parents don't like your parents (because your mom is fat), that means their kids don't like you either.

I know the whispers and the outright insults because people weren't shy about saying them to me about my mom. As if they thought I should hate her too because she's fat. Really, she's my mom. I disliked that she was fat because there were lots of things she couldn't do, and at times I was the typical teenager and was embarrassed to be seen with her (I probably would have been anyway, but her being fat didn't help).

But I never hated her for it. Even now, as she's gaining weight again after her bypass, I don't hate her. I feel sad, and sometimes angry that she won't take care of herself but I still love her because she's my mom. I wish she could find the inspiration and success the author has, but if she never does, I'll still love her just the same.

I have to comment on this...I once weighed 280+ pounds, and that was hard. Harder than anything I've ever been through in my entire life. The way a person would look at you and quickly jerk their head away, like god forbid they should get caught looking at the fat girl, the way doors were always left to shut in your face, the way the booths would squish you and my breasts would practically be sitting on the table. The way it felt to go into a grocery store and know, just KNOW that everyone was judging me if I put one piece of fattening anything in my cart. It was a hard way to exist, that I never wish to go back to.

The funny thing is, that if you've never been there, I cannot fully explain what this existence was like. There's so much shame and self deprecation. The need to just hide in your house and not be seen and looked at.

Now that I've lost a lot of weight, though some of it was before coming here, it's hard to look at the world without the 'fat girl' inside looking out. I see people hold the door open for me, or people talking to me, and I still want to duck and hide. I'm still the same person that was always treated poorly, so the inside me doesn't understand the change. The really hilarious thing, to me at least, is when men flirt. I've been married since I was very young, so I'm a little naive in this area anyways, but since I've been heavy my entire adult life, it really hasn't happened much. Now when it does, I don't even get it until hours later...then I'm like...uh, was that guy hitting on me? Doh.

Thank you for sharing this. I think it reminds us that even though we are/were overweight, we know how to be nice and have empathy and compassion for people. I definitely get treated nicer, get more attention, etc and I am not even at my goal weight. Maybe it's because I am smaller but maybe a part of it is is because I have more confidence and am more outgoing and won't put up with crap like I used to. Of course the flip side is that getting healthy has caused a lot of jealousy issues in my experience - fiancee thinks I am going to go cheat with my best guy friend, friends are jealous that I have kept to my goal to lose weight, etc. No matter what size we are, we are always going to have things that are not perfect in our lives.

Thank you for sharing.

It is pretty amazing the things we see when someone else holds up the mirror.

Now if I could stop seeing the "old fat guy" staring back at me when I look in the mirror. He doesn't seem to know he's lost 50 pounds so far!

This is beautiful and it breaks my heart. I have never been overweight, but have always had body image issues and insecurities. I cannot imagine what it must be like for those who are overweight. I cannot stand the thought of any human being treated with less than the utmost respect... though I am sure I am as guilty as the next person.

I do not understand why society looks down upon being overweight as it does. We all have our flaws, vices, and personal battles. Perhaps being overweight is visible and so it is targeted, albeit unjustly. I don't have any solutions...but thank you posting. It is inspiring, and an excellent reminder to treat all of those around us with love and respect--regardless of appearance.

Great read. I can definitely relate in the reverse sense though, I used to be thin and received lots of attention. Now i'm bigger, and yeah...

That is a great article. It is one of the reasons I can't imagine being my size as a woman. It isn't better or worse to be a fat man than a woman, but it is different. I feel the same way about how differently people treat you as you get smaller, but for the sake of discussion I want to bring up the biggest difference that I have noticed (other than what has been talked about already.)

Ironically, one of the things that I HATED when I was at my largest was how people "helped" me with things I shouldn't have needed help with. It hurt my pride when I would hear "let me get that for you" or "No, you stay there." It was like cutting my nuts off.

Friends wouldn't ask me to help them move. If they were going somewhere like an amusement park they didn't want to embarrass me. One of the things that finally gave me my come to Jesus moment was when my daughter, who was about 5 at the time, told me "I will ask mommy to go, I know you don't like to walk."

I was always athletic and strong. Being overweight is different when you are strong and on the football team or the rugby team. I dressed like a slob because one of my defenses was that I would rather look intimidating than neat. I would wear shirts that would emphasize my arms or shoulders and would never tuck anything in because it gave a straighter line. I could look intimidating enough that I never was directly teased often.

I am just relieved now that people are not as "nice" as they used to be.

I am on the journey of major weight loss, and I worry about this. When I go to the supermarket to buy food for my family, I will watch the checker be outgoing and friendly with everyone in front of me, yet she can barely return my greeting or look at me. I'm friendly, and try to be polite when every I am out and about, but it's a rare thing to have the same politeness returned. I would think it's just the way the clerk/cashier/ect is, except I tend to be singled out for rudeness. (BTW, when I go shopping, my cart is much more healthy than those around me, and it's a rare day that I buy junk food).
I have lost over 50 lbs (from a start weight of 371lb at my highest), and almost dread having to deal with the two-faced people once I do get down to a lower weight. I am shy and sensitive, so, yeah, it's going to hit me.

I love this!!

10 years ago I lost 90lbs and was at 149, I stayed between 149 and 166 for about 4-5 years. I noticed a LOT of changes in how I was treated, and then it was heartbreaking as I regained all of it plus as I noticed getting treated differently once again. Slowly stopped getting invited out as much, male friends stopped talking to me as much especially.

Now that I'm on my way back down, I haven't really been out as much to notice the difference as much, mind you I still have at least 50lbs to go before I think I'll really notice.

I do not understand why society looks down upon being overweight as it does. We all have our flaws, vices, and personal battles. Perhaps being overweight is visible and so it is targeted, albeit unjustly. I don't have any solutions...but thank you posting. It is inspiring, and an excellent reminder to treat all of those around us with love and respect--regardless of appearance.

I think a lot of it is overweight people like myself are just easy targets. We (as a whole) tend to not defend ourselves and will just stand there and take it, perhaps acting like we don't hear the comments directed at us. There is a lot of self-hate as well, because of what we hear constantly from society, and a lot of us feel we deserve it. It's not right, and only serves to bring on emotional eating and more weight gain. Fat-shaming will never work.

There is also a general attitude that we are fat and it is our own fault. While that is true to some degree, things aren't that simple. This idea though is why so many people feel they have free reign to treat others like crap. As if it is somehow deserved.

The hard part is how many of us hate ourselves because we think that way too. We must be worthless or we wouldn't have let this happen.

When you do lose the weight, there is no healthy reason to question others, or hold a grudge.

I am nicer to myself as I get smaller, how can I truly be angry at someone else doing the same thing?

I have a lot of self confidence and am a happy outgoing person and have a lot of good friends, thin and overweight friends. . I am still overweight, and there are a few thin people who have totally ignored me for years now. So I learned to ignore them in return.

I know they will be friendly when I lose more weight. I plan on totally ignoring these few people in the future because they have a "problem" with overweight people... Give them a taste of their own medicine. I don't approve of their behavior toward the overweight.

Already strangers are much nicer. That's OK with me as they never knew me as heavier. And I like the extra attention. And I like to make new friends.
But the ones who have known me and have ignored me for years, I will continue to ignore them in the future. There is no room for these ignorant people in my life.

At 230 pounds people always held the door for me,infact I got treated no diffrent at 230 than I do now at 175 or when I was 120.

I don't understand, if we treat OURSELVES better, why shouldn't others?

Thanks for sharing the article

Thank you so much for sharing this! Great read...and it hits home pretty strongly.