"Lost 100lbs & found out what the world thinks of fat ppl"

I've actually thought about this from day 1 of my weight loss journey. I wonder how differently I will be treated when I lose the weight and how I will act towards those who knew me but ignored me. Honestly, I want to have the attitude of "if I wasn't good enough for you when I was fat, then you're not good enough for me now" but I know that is really not the way to go about things. An eye for an eye makes the world go blind but I do wish I could make people aware of how horrible it feels to be ignored. It also doesn't help when you have an incredibly thin, beautiful younger sister. It kills me to walk into a room and the first words out of everyones' mouths are "where's your sister?". It happens almost every day and I am sick of it.

Sorry, somebody please take the soapbox away from me before I hurt myself.

These are all of the things that fill my fat-turned-skinny-one-day daydreams. I am assuming a lot of it is confidence, but some is just people being ridiculous.

Thanks for posting. It was interesting!

This article got me thinking about how *I* treat people. Do I treat them differently based on how they look? I hope not. I like to think that I treat people the same despite their weight. Especially since it grinds my gears so much when people treat me differently because I'm female (I'm an engineer - a very predominantly male profession). The only difference I think I make in my head is that when I see someone who is fit, I am immediately gauging how attractive they are, and trying to make sure that my conversations and body language do not show any signs of "dang, you are attractive!" Meanwhile if someone is overweight, I don't even have to think about it. I'm not attracted to them, so I can just be natural. Which, now that I think about it, is a lot easier. I can take in their personality and just talk to them, and not worry about "omg they are so good looking" in the back of my mind. This goes for both boys and girls. For girls it's a matter of intimidation? I'm honestly *really* intimidated by pretty girls. Weird, I know.

Anyways, did anyone else have this reaction? Analyzing your own responses to peoples' images? Just curious.

Just had a flashback...I was 14 at the pool with my super skinny best friend. Some guy was flirting with her and I overheard him call me "Jabba the Hut". So I tried to drown him then made him apologize...

It hurt immensely emotionally but I never showed it outwardly (except aggressively) so I guess this is where I get my personality of not taking any crap from anyone...then going home and eating an entire cake.

I love this read, and it's true! I have not lost a huge amount of weight compared to a lot of peeps on here, but the 18 lbs that I have lost have just opened the doors to more respect from others.

We are our biggest critics and it's only natural people are going to criticize us the same way. No matter how much someone complimented me in my 'fat' body, I never really believed them, but now, whether people compliment me or not, I feel absolutely great. When I do get a 'WOW you look so great compliment" I say thank you and I believe them 100% bcz I do look GREAT!!!

This article is not a shock to me, it's just the way 'we' humans are, as ugly as it is!! I doubt we will ever live in a world with no judgements, it's what makes us humans. I am by no means an expert on weight loss or fitness, but I do know what it takes and when someone says to me 'my body is different I just can't lose weight', I'm not nice about it and I do not pretend to understand.. this *kitten* is FN hard and not one person on this site can say it's a walk in the park. So I have and I do reply with, 'you will lose weight when you are ready' cause it's the truth!!

Thanks for sharing! I completely agree for this woman, especially about the relationships part. I struggled in the same way when I was younger and looking for a relationship, all of my male friends were interested in sleeping with me but didn't seem to want to tell anybody. At the time I was only a size 16 but because I was so 17 years old the social effects were even crueler and stuck in that high school mentality that look matter. Unfortunately for some people that mentality never changes. I am happy to share that my close friends and family are all different shapes and sizes and I have never felt judged by them. At high school I was never bullied once, despite being overweight. I think it may have been down to confidence, and being part of a small high school of less than 200 people, we were a close community. I have been in a very happy relationship for over 2 years now. My partner and I got together when I was a size 18 and since I have put on more weight (hence I am on this website hehe) and we are still madly in love, perhaps it because he comes from a large size family, although is very slim himself, it's not abnormal for him for people to be overweight.
I love the last comment. I too hope I will always be fat inside. Larger people live larger lives. I would never want to be accepted by the prentencious skinny people that judge on looks. I am losing weight for health reasons only. I think big is beautiful,
As Tyra Banks would say, love to all the fiercely real women out there!!

Great read!

I hope I also have the benefits when I reach my goal weight, but I am not sure how it will affect me relationship wise. When I was fatter I used to walk looking at the ground, so I didn't really know if anyone was looking at me but in the corner of my eye I would see the stares and looks of some people, but i guess it was because of my weight an my appearance. I hated walking down the 'prep' part of the hallway in highschool. I used to take the long way to avoid it. I remember in highscool how I wish I could turn heads of my male classmates, I wished I got a candy gram from someone on valentines day, I wish someone would ask me to a dance and I never experienced any of that. Of course over a course of years in school, my confidence dropped so bad I could not lift my eyes from my desk during classes, to a point when a teacher thought I was asleep. But I never had the problem of people just wanting to sleep with me and not wanting to admit, or anything like that. I guess I was kind of a ghost at one point, or I made myself a ghost. And I graduated highschool like that and after that I isolated myself from the few firneds I had known and lost all my highschool friends.

Half of my primary school and all of my journal high school years I was made a outcast and made fun of my weight. Safe to say I never had a BF when in highschool and I do believe it was in result of my weight. Sense my weight loss I'm not too far from my goal weight (In my mind). I now make myself hold my head up, and not to gaze them at the floor, and back into my old habits but what I hate the most is that now that I do hold my head up, I can see everything from the corner of my eyes, even if I am not staring at them I can catch people taking a look at me or a quick stare. From both genders, and I can't help but feel that the stares are just like the ones from highschool because I was fat and unattractive, and that's why the stares are there and I can't help it, I can't help but think that is why they are staring, even now in my current weight loss.

Sense the start of my weight loss journey I have had experienced relationships, but I am unsure if it's from the weight loss or from the fact I am showing more confidence in myself. But other then that, I haven't received much attention from men, or any change at all. I'm hoping when I reach my goal weight the stares will be what I hope they mean, that it's because I am attractive.

I'm also sure my weight made me loose job opportunities too.

I think that being a fat person though my childhood and though my teens did help me be a more compassionate person. Because I know how it felt and how it feels to hurt, thus giving me a more open mind and understanding to other people in the same situation and not being judgmental their weight either. If only everyone could have the same understanding, but I guess society and their views on more heavy people will stay the same.

I'm glad this story reminded me what I learned and what contributed my personality, when I was a fatter person, for who I am today.

There are so many things I want to say here. But I know what will happen. People will read them the wrong way and it will probably turn into an arguement.

I have have my own weight issues which I am currently working on. I am married for more than 20 years with 3 teenaged sons. I am losing weight for me and my family.

Let's put personalities, money, fame and fortune aside here for a minute and ask ourselves a few questions.

Purely from a looks prespective.
Men: Who are you more atracted to? RoseAnn Barr type or Cindy Crawford type?
Women: Who would you rather look like? RaseAnn Barr or Cindy Crawford?
Women: Who are you more atracted to? John Goodman type or George Clooney type?
Men; Who would you rather look like? John Goodman type or George Clooney type?

We all know the answers that 99 percent of society would give.

Let's face it, blame society or whatever you want, but WE all want to be that good looking, well dressed, confident, head turner.

And for the record, I was in LOVE with Anna Nicole Smith when she was the PLUS sized model for Guess jeans.

There are so many things I want to say here. But I know what will happen. People will read them the wrong way and it will probably turn into an arguement.

I have have my own weight issues which I am currently working on. I am married for more than 20 years with 3 teenaged sons. I am losing weight for me and my family.

Let's put personalities, money, fame and fortune aside here for a minute and ask ourselves a few questions.

Purely from a looks prespective.
Men: Who are you more atracted to? RoseAnn Barr type or Cindy Crawford type?
Women: Who would you rather look like? RaseAnn Barr or Cindy Crawford?
Women: Who are you more atracted to? John Goodman type or George Clooney type?
Men; Who would you rather look like? John Goodman type or George Clooney type?

We all know the answers that 99 percent of society would give.

Let's face it, blame society or whatever you want, but WE all want to be that good looking, well dressed, confident, head turner.

And for the record, I was in LOVE with Anna Nicole Smith when she was the PLUS sized model for Guess jeans.

thank you. so far, I seem to be the only person in here that thought this. I am working hard to lose weight, I did not work hard to gain it...so, to me, hard work deserves a payoff, laziness does not. YES, I like being liked, and in my extremely obese days, I struggled constantly for attention and being liked, but I know I didn't truly respect myself, so why would others. if i treat myself better now, it's only natural others will follow suit.

Brilliant read.
I know someone who has gone from being incredibly thin to being over weight, and she has on a couple of occasions come crying to me. She can not believe how crule people can be towards her now that she is over weight.
What makes people think that they can say these things and yes it is so much harder to get good jobs, even if you are more than qualified and experienced. Maybe us 'fatties' are to lazy to work? I dont know...

I am not looking to stereo type here. Because I am a FATTY as well.
My wife works in a fast food joint. They have what they call RUNNERS. People that get the food and bag it to bring to the counter after it is ordered. There is one girl there that happens to weigh in the 400 pound range. My wife hates working with her. The girl leans on the counter and doesn't move. She just reaches for things and doesn't move. And constantly asks others to grab things for her the she CAN'T reach. She is a good 3" taller than my wife and is constantly asking my wife to grab something she CAN'T reach. And to add to it, the other girls have to walk AROUND her all day, because she doesn't move. Is it because she is FAT? Is it because she is just plain LAZY? I don't know. But being in the 400 pound range is certainly not helping her.

This has been a wonderful thread. I love hearing both sides and I, as confusing as it may sound, totally agree with both sides. I have been the big girl, no dates in school...not best friends with the popular (thinner girls) but I didn't let that stop me from smiling and saying hello. I've been the girl that men's mouth's drop open when I walk by.....and the one who never gets asked to dance with. To be honest I like the thin girl feeling. But I can also admit that I am the one who is in control. No one did this to me...I could blame it on sexual abuse, being taken away from my parents, being adopted...dumped....dissed.....but I can't, in all honesty, blame anyone but myself. There were times that the little disapproving voices would start to creep in but I immeadiatley chose to shut them out. Maybe that was ignorance, maybe it was a defence mechinism....either way.....I'm glad that I was able to and I can only wish that others could find this strength within themselves. I'm sure people used to talk about me...I did see the looks....but deep in my heart I KNOW who I am.....and no one can take that from me. Please all just love your selves and look deep for the strength to be all that you can be. Love yourself enough to find that strength to get healthy and the rest.....just enjoy it! Let the past go...and always treat others as you would like to be treated!

Thank you so much for sharing! So true...

I have never been slim so have no experience of what it's like on the other side. I can only hope it gets better though, as it can't be much worse than the attitudes people have towards you when you're overweight!

One thing I've found is that people don't seem to view me as a 'fat girl' for some reason, probably because I've always been overweight they've never known me any other way, so people say the most AWFUL things about other fat people in front of me. I often have to reprimand people for saying incredibly cruel things and remind them 'Hey, fat girl standing right here' while thinking 'Jesus, so is that what you think of me?'. It's very hurtful and it definitely shows you another side to people.

Being fat is unattractive. This has been drilled into our minds our entire lives. Is it really suprising that overweight people are treated as less than, unworthy, and undeserving.
We are all part of 'Society'. It's not just an entity that one can blame for all the Ill's in the world, it starts with us, when we move about and live in it, lets educate ourselves and not just inject vapid meaningless drivel into it all the time, and then expect it to somehow guide us in the right direction.
I like the original article, I think it provokes many thoughts and viewpoints from people. It brings up emotional experiences and it exposes a side of prejudice that we don't see as often because it is not considered to be a very big deal.

Deep down we all want admission to the Thin Club. We are told that we are unworthy and nasty so we believe it. And for many of the users that join this site, that is why they joined..! It fuels the diet and fitness industry. I antcipate the day when I will be treated differently, I actually expect that many more doors will open to me. I also believe my current relationships will be improved. This is sad in some ways, but I also recognize the world for what it is.

The sad part is that no matter, fat or thin people are human and deserving of the same respect anyone else is, but we constantly judge people based on so many aspects, even as overweight people we judge others for different reasons and perhaps do not even realize it.
I think it's that people do not know how to stop before they cross over into meanness and hurtful behavior, perhaps it's also a case of manners and respect being so lacking in people lately. Not so much an inability to stop as a lack of a reason to do so, especially when it's socially acceptable and funny to others in your group.

We like to and should I say NEED to feel superior in some way to others, and so sieze upon some way that we can. I notice that it's very often previously fat people that are (in some cases) much more cruel and hurtful than people who have been thin their entire lives, they view the weightloss process (whatever way they achieved it) as deprivation and a terrible hardship on themselves. Then they see this fat and 'jolly' person enjoying what they 'couldn't' have; they become in a strange way, disdainful and jealous. They see themselves in that person, and become so frightened of going back to what they once were, maybe losing all of the psychological and social benefits that have come along with that weightloss.

The Fat Vs. Thin debate, is only one of the many prejudices and injustices in the world today.

I think you have to look at it in a larger context than just the current world. Has it always been percieved to be as unattractive is it is considered today? What is driving and motivating these social prejudices and what could encourage them to stop?
Look at other prejudices, physical disabilities, racial, sexual, even what parts of the country or area of the world you come from. Wealth, money, or the lack thereof. Everything was considered at one time or another, to one group or another to be desirable and or terrible....
Putting it in perspective helps me, I see how entangled I am, we are, and yet sometimes I see a glimmer of a different viewpoint, a different way of thinking and it puts me into another place entirely.


**As a sidenote to my post, I want to point out that the Original Poster of this topic is not the author of the article. She copied it to be read and debated, it is clearly prefaced by her telling you that, and is also linked with a URL at the bottom. That seems to be a fact that people miss out on.**