"Lost 100lbs & found out what the world thinks of fat ppl"

Brilliant read.
I know someone who has gone from being incredibly thin to being over weight, and she has on a couple of occasions come crying to me. She can not believe how crule people can be towards her now that she is over weight.
What makes people think that they can say these things and yes it is so much harder to get good jobs, even if you are more than qualified and experienced. Maybe us 'fatties' are to lazy to work? I dont know...

I am not looking to stereo type here. Because I am a FATTY as well.
My wife works in a fast food joint. They have what they call RUNNERS. People that get the food and bag it to bring to the counter after it is ordered. There is one girl there that happens to weigh in the 400 pound range. My wife hates working with her. The girl leans on the counter and doesn't move. She just reaches for things and doesn't move. And constantly asks others to grab things for her the she CAN'T reach. She is a good 3" taller than my wife and is constantly asking my wife to grab something she CAN'T reach. And to add to it, the other girls have to walk AROUND her all day, because she doesn't move. Is it because she is FAT? Is it because she is just plain LAZY? I don't know. But being in the 400 pound range is certainly not helping her.

This has been a wonderful thread. I love hearing both sides and I, as confusing as it may sound, totally agree with both sides. I have been the big girl, no dates in school...not best friends with the popular (thinner girls) but I didn't let that stop me from smiling and saying hello. I've been the girl that men's mouth's drop open when I walk by.....and the one who never gets asked to dance with. To be honest I like the thin girl feeling. But I can also admit that I am the one who is in control. No one did this to me...I could blame it on sexual abuse, being taken away from my parents, being adopted...dumped....dissed.....but I can't, in all honesty, blame anyone but myself. There were times that the little disapproving voices would start to creep in but I immeadiatley chose to shut them out. Maybe that was ignorance, maybe it was a defence mechinism....either way.....I'm glad that I was able to and I can only wish that others could find this strength within themselves. I'm sure people used to talk about me...I did see the looks....but deep in my heart I KNOW who I am.....and no one can take that from me. Please all just love your selves and look deep for the strength to be all that you can be. Love yourself enough to find that strength to get healthy and the rest.....just enjoy it! Let the past go...and always treat others as you would like to be treated!

Thank you so much for sharing! So true...

I have never been slim so have no experience of what it's like on the other side. I can only hope it gets better though, as it can't be much worse than the attitudes people have towards you when you're overweight!

One thing I've found is that people don't seem to view me as a 'fat girl' for some reason, probably because I've always been overweight they've never known me any other way, so people say the most AWFUL things about other fat people in front of me. I often have to reprimand people for saying incredibly cruel things and remind them 'Hey, fat girl standing right here' while thinking 'Jesus, so is that what you think of me?'. It's very hurtful and it definitely shows you another side to people.

Being fat is unattractive. This has been drilled into our minds our entire lives. Is it really suprising that overweight people are treated as less than, unworthy, and undeserving.
We are all part of 'Society'. It's not just an entity that one can blame for all the Ill's in the world, it starts with us, when we move about and live in it, lets educate ourselves and not just inject vapid meaningless drivel into it all the time, and then expect it to somehow guide us in the right direction.
I like the original article, I think it provokes many thoughts and viewpoints from people. It brings up emotional experiences and it exposes a side of prejudice that we don't see as often because it is not considered to be a very big deal.

Deep down we all want admission to the Thin Club. We are told that we are unworthy and nasty so we believe it. And for many of the users that join this site, that is why they joined..! It fuels the diet and fitness industry. I antcipate the day when I will be treated differently, I actually expect that many more doors will open to me. I also believe my current relationships will be improved. This is sad in some ways, but I also recognize the world for what it is.

The sad part is that no matter, fat or thin people are human and deserving of the same respect anyone else is, but we constantly judge people based on so many aspects, even as overweight people we judge others for different reasons and perhaps do not even realize it.
I think it's that people do not know how to stop before they cross over into meanness and hurtful behavior, perhaps it's also a case of manners and respect being so lacking in people lately. Not so much an inability to stop as a lack of a reason to do so, especially when it's socially acceptable and funny to others in your group.

We like to and should I say NEED to feel superior in some way to others, and so sieze upon some way that we can. I notice that it's very often previously fat people that are (in some cases) much more cruel and hurtful than people who have been thin their entire lives, they view the weightloss process (whatever way they achieved it) as deprivation and a terrible hardship on themselves. Then they see this fat and 'jolly' person enjoying what they 'couldn't' have; they become in a strange way, disdainful and jealous. They see themselves in that person, and become so frightened of going back to what they once were, maybe losing all of the psychological and social benefits that have come along with that weightloss.

The Fat Vs. Thin debate, is only one of the many prejudices and injustices in the world today.

I think you have to look at it in a larger context than just the current world. Has it always been percieved to be as unattractive is it is considered today? What is driving and motivating these social prejudices and what could encourage them to stop?
Look at other prejudices, physical disabilities, racial, sexual, even what parts of the country or area of the world you come from. Wealth, money, or the lack thereof. Everything was considered at one time or another, to one group or another to be desirable and or terrible....
Putting it in perspective helps me, I see how entangled I am, we are, and yet sometimes I see a glimmer of a different viewpoint, a different way of thinking and it puts me into another place entirely.


**As a sidenote to my post, I want to point out that the Original Poster of this topic is not the author of the article. She copied it to be read and debated, it is clearly prefaced by her telling you that, and is also linked with a URL at the bottom. That seems to be a fact that people miss out on.**

There are so many things I want to say here. But I know what will happen. People will read them the wrong way and it will probably turn into an arguement.

I have have my own weight issues which I am currently working on. I am married for more than 20 years with 3 teenaged sons. I am losing weight for me and my family.

Let's put personalities, money, fame and fortune aside here for a minute and ask ourselves a few questions.

Purely from a looks prespective.
Men: Who are you more atracted to? RoseAnn Barr type or Cindy Crawford type?
Women: Who would you rather look like? RaseAnn Barr or Cindy Crawford?
Women: Who are you more atracted to? John Goodman type or George Clooney type?
Men; Who would you rather look like? John Goodman type or George Clooney type?

We all know the answers that 99 percent of society would give.

Let's face it, blame society or whatever you want, but WE all want to be that good looking, well dressed, confident, head turner.

And for the record, I was in LOVE with Anna Nicole Smith when she was the PLUS sized model for Guess jeans.

While I'm not trying to reading your comments 'the wrong way', I don't quite understand your point... Of course if we had to choose between looking like either Roseanne Barr or Cindy Crawford, etc. most people would choose to look like the more 'in-shape' person. I doubt many would state otherwise...

The letter was more about how people treat you when you are overweight/obese/morbidly obese/super-morbidly obese, as if the extra poundage you carry somehow makes you less of a person and unworthy of common courtesy, dignity and respect. Regardless of a person's age, gender, ethnicity, weight, handicap, etc., I do my utmost to treat them as I would like to be treated.

***Sidenote - It's often humorous/hurtful that people seem to think being fat is contagious... Their reaction is like a smile or acknowledgement of my existence would somehow translate to them catching some sort of communicable disease... or they must have smelled crap in their pants!***

Great story!!!

Thank you to everyone for reading it! I have read this article many times and it makes me cry. I am no where near my goal of 100 lbs lost, so it also gives me hope, but people always see a common denominator of losing the weight & feeling they can't trust anyone because those same ppl that hated them before now love them. It scares me to think of that. i am currently in love with my best friend. he knows, but says we are only friends. i fear that once i lose the weight he'll like me- and i'll just accept it. i dont want to be treated differently because of my weight but it is a reality for those of us suffering with being overweight.
it's hard to think that some of my closest friends, who say "i look great the way i am" are secretly thinking that i look horrible and should lose weight.

I know exactly how you feel. I teared up a couple of times. And it's sad but true. Can totally relate. I'm not at my goal weight of losing 100lbs either, but I can totally relate. I sometime question did my ex-husband leave me because I was fat . And when I lose the weight will he come back or even treat me differently. That makes me SAD. lol

I have experienced this personally... and I can say that in a wierd way I am happy I grew up morbidly obese. It gave me a lot of empathy that has motivated me to be a better person.

I don't want to be "fat" because, as this article points out, it isn't pleasant - and there are benefits to not being fat, but I don't know if someone who hasn't lived the life of a morbidly obese person can understand. It is just something they will never get.

I would like to think that the struggle has made me a better person, but that might just be a pipe dream

While I agree with most of everything said here, it sounds like she is blaming these guys who "only slept with her and not dated her" for doing just that. Look, I agree that there is a stigma and a ton of abuse that hardly gets noticed by anyone else that goes with being over weight. But honey if you are giving yourself up that easily and that is not the kind of relationship you want than get out of it before it even happens. I have never had someone dump me because of my size! I wouldn't date someone that would!