How to ask out my lady crush?
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Gee i wonder why she stopped smiling and looking at u..shes caught on..!! yur a creeper dude!!! Really if i caught a dude doing what yur doing i wud get a restraining order and stop riding the bus..Yur a freak ,,im sorry to say!! To me i think its to late..if u ask her out shes goin to slap u and tell u to **** off. i wud back up dude yur way to obessed. people like u scare the **** out of me.
She's stopped smiling 'cause he needs to work HARDER to get her attention. People have given wonderful suggestion I just know she will respond to (crotch stroking is a personal fav of mine).
Also does she have pets?
A bunny.
Excellent! With a rabbit there are many options. As someone wonderfully suggested, take pictures of ourself caring for the animal (not TOO caring mind!), or rescue the animal from imminent death making you the hero. Or ransom the animal for ever lasting love/serious snuggles
Edit: of course if she spurns you cook it.0 -
I think you should just sweetly ask her to sit on your lap next time you see her. Tell her you just want to talk about "whatever comes up."
I cant do that. She will crush my TI-84. I know it's the best calculator money can buy and I am sure it is tested but do you really think it can support 500+lbs of weight?
Honestly,
I think she will say something like is that a TI-84 I'm sitting on or are you happy to see me?
This just deserved to be quoted.0 -
This is simple. Just write a letter that says "I like you, do you like me"? Then put 2 check mark boxes and make them both YES!
You can't lose!!!
That is actual genius! Cos she has to tick one, and whichever she ticks will be yes. That's practically legally binding so perhaps you should have the ring ready, and put a minister on alert in case she wants to get married there and then.
We're all invited to the wedding for giving you advice!
Is the wedding before or after the Grand Jury inquest?0 -
I think you should climb up to her bedroom window and record her sleeping. Then edit the video to include some Michael Bolton in the background and give it to her as a gift with a note containing the lyrics to Sting's "Every Breath You Take" to let you know that you're always watching her.
She'll be overwhelmed, and will fall into your arms (that is, if you yank her out of the bedroom window when you do this).0 -
Well these are all pretty good suggestions, but I'm going to throw in my own:
You need to start taking polaroid pictures of her, anytime, anywhere..but (listen carefully), she cannot know you're doing this b/c it will ruin the surprise. Once you have about 100 or so photos of her, get some candles, thumb tacks and a pig's heart (please don't use your own...not at this stage of wooing).
When she's not home, access her house with the above items and build her a shrine in her bedroom. Use the thumb tacks to fasten the photos of her on the wall where the head of the bed is. Genlty place the fresh pig's heart in the middle of the bed surrounded by romantic items such as candles, rose pettals or semen. Leave quickly.
When she arrives home from a hard day at work, she will find her shrine and immediatley smile - she now knows someone out there cares and finds her beautiful. Wait 5 minutes, then call her - disguise your voice to add to the mystique (women love a mysterious man!). Tell her that you've been watching her and that she's meant to be with you forever. Tell her that you will see her soon, then hang up the phone. Playing a little hard to get will really get her juices flowing and want more from you.
don't know if it will work on her, but it worked on me......Le-le, I love you!
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Everyday on the way home from work I sit on the bus and read my favorite book by Richard Dawkins. Everyday I see this same girl and I think she is very attractive. I am a bit sheepish when it comes to women so I don't really know how to approach her but I yearn for her to see my collection of insects under glass.
I was wondering if I should just mail her a letter pieced together from letters out of a magazine or if I should send her a hand written love note? I am shooting for the former.
I am sure you guys are wondering how I know her address so I thought I would add that I follow her home pretty often, I don't think she has caught on yet, and sometimes at say 1-2 in the morning I will go out and sit on the park bench that directly faces her apartment and just stare aimlessly for hours on end till the sun comes up, Then when she leaves her building I will stroll to the bus stop as to catch my bus to the laboritorium. There I day dream about her as I slowly dissect cadavers for the day's medical classes.
Before we used to share glances and faint smiles, now she wont even look in my general direction though other then to give me a quick look, I can't tell if she is giving me "that look" or not.......
Can someone please tell me what to do as I feel our time might be fleeting and I don't want to lose my chance with her.
You are pretty much doing what any good old fashioned stalker or serial killer would do bro. Keep it up and soon you will be seeing her..at your trial..lol0 -
Wow! So many great suggestions here. I hope you are taking notes.
Present her with a replica of her bunny that you lovingly crafted from your pubic hair. That's cute and sexy at the same time. She will not be able to resist.0 -
I'm actually a little surprised nobody has mentioned a couple other options. Do you know if she prefers tough guys or artistic guys?
If she prefers tough, strong men, write love letters, wrap them around bricks, and throw them through her windows. She'll be so impressed with the strength it took to lob all those bricks that she may not even wait to read the letters - she just may come screaming out of the house in ecstasy.
If she prefers the artistic type, obtain some spraypaint and loudly proclaim your love for her all over the side of her house. If you can get inside and write loving messages on her bedroom walls that will really seal the deal. Women won't admit it, but they love jealous men, so make sure you mention several times that if you can't have her, nobody will.
Good luck my friend. I miss those early days of romance. *sigh*0 -
I say you hit her *kitten* over the head with a club and drag her back to your place ... like courting should be done0
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Wow! So many great suggestions here. I hope you are taking notes.
Present her with a replica of her bunny that you lovingly crafted from your pubic hair. That's cute and sexy at the same time. She will not be able to resist.
may i suggest using vaseline to keep it together.0 -
I think the best approach would be to talk this over in person, in a nice quiet place, like, say, your basement. So, bring her to your basement and just take it from there.0
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Wow! So many great suggestions here. I hope you are taking notes.
Present her with a replica of her bunny that you lovingly crafted from your pubic hair. That's cute and sexy at the same time. She will not be able to resist.
Like those people who knit dogs from the dogs own hair! Love this, so creative.0 -
Wow! So many great suggestions here. I hope you are taking notes.
Present her with a replica of her bunny that you lovingly crafted from your pubic hair. That's cute and sexy at the same time. She will not be able to resist.
may i suggest using vaseline to keep it together.
I was thinking semen. Again, it is personal, cute and super sexy!0 -
Wow! So many great suggestions here. I hope you are taking notes.
Present her with a replica of her bunny that you lovingly crafted from your pubic hair. That's cute and sexy at the same time. She will not be able to resist.
Like those people who knit dogs from the dogs own hair! Love this, so creative.
And, if it doesn't work (as if it won't
) you could start selling them on Etsy! 0 -
Wow! So many great suggestions here. I hope you are taking notes.
Present her with a replica of her bunny that you lovingly crafted from your pubic hair. That's cute and sexy at the same time. She will not be able to resist.
Like those people who knit dogs from the dogs own hair! Love this, so creative.
Bahahahaha!!!!0 -
I don't know what is making me laugh harder - this post or the people who are contributing all the other "suggestions", or.... the ones responding who actually think you serious!!!!0
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If she's looking away and you aren't sure if she is giving you 'the look' then you obviously aren't staring hard enough. Make it your mission not to look anywhere else, even when you/her get off the bus. Otherwise how else is she supposed to know you care.
Quiet grunts and visible erection through your pants also help her to know you find her sexually attractive.
Good luck OP
holy crap - I can't guffaw at my desk... I am going to get in trouble. My work isn't that funny!!!!!0 -
Creepy stalker much!?!?!:noway: If ANY ONE followed me home once, the second time I would pull my gun on them, no joke.
If you want to move from CREEPER to NORMAL, try TALKING to her. Jeez. Try even saying "Hello, how are you?" When you notice her. A relationship should start from there, and THEN you can decide if you like her and want to ask her out.
I would follow up by being clear that you are talking to her, and not the voices in your head. Sometimes ladies get confused where they stand in the conversation. let her know SHE is the priority by being more imporant than all fo the other people you have crammed in your head.
Speaking of crammed... Crawl spaces are also nice cozy places to hang out in - she may be interested in checking yours out. Sometimes, if you have it decorated with pictures of naked women, and various body parts you find attractive on other women, she will get a better sense of what you are looking for in a mate.
Good luck - keep us posted!0 -
Wow! So many great suggestions here. I hope you are taking notes.
Present her with a replica of her bunny that you lovingly crafted from your pubic hair. That's cute and sexy at the same time. She will not be able to resist.
Can I use my back hair too?0 -
Wow! So many great suggestions here. I hope you are taking notes.
Present her with a replica of her bunny that you lovingly crafted from your pubic hair. That's cute and sexy at the same time. She will not be able to resist.
Can I use my back hair too?
No. Back hair is gross.0 -
^^yes this,I have an inbox full of Creeper messages^^EAsy.........if its on MFP I think most of the creepers just PM the ladies0 -
^^yes this,I have an inbox full of Creeper messages^^EAsy.........if its on MFP I think most of the creepers just PM the ladies
You save them? Is it so you can read them over and over?
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yes how did you know? i especially like reading
^^yes this,I have an inbox full of Creeper messages^^EAsy.........if its on MFP I think most of the creepers just PM the ladies
You save them? Is it so you can read them over and over? your message about the midgets and cheeze wiz 0 -
Write her a poem or a letter saying how beautiful she is. Tell her if she isn't involve in a relationship would she allow you to take her out. If you she turns you down. The next day give her a flower and tell her thank you for giving me a second of your time and don't ever look her way again. Lol than that will make her look your way and she may want you if she has a heart.0
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you're welcome0 -
Remember, when you do finally get a chance to talk to her, it's important to work in to the conversation every bit of personal knowledge you have about her. That way she'll know you you really care about the details of her life. If you've been doing your homework, and it sounds like you have, you've accumulated quite a familiarity with her. Make sure she knows this.
You know her bus route, where she works, her pets, etc. Be able to describe the inside of her home, her room, her underclothing... anything that a really close loved one should know. It's important for her to see you as someone very close. Make mention of what she wore on any given day and what your favorite outfit is of hers and that you know where she shops. Talk about her kids & how much you love them too. Say things like "it would be a shame if something were to happen to little Timmy". She is sure to fall for someone who is genuinely concerned about her loved ones.0 -
You know her bus route, where she works, her pets, etc. Be able to describe the inside of her home, her room, her underclothing..
Wait, what the ****? You know that you can go to jail for that correct?
But in all seriousness women aren't normal like they used to be. You have to take what you want, you have to be a tiger and she has to be your food. You tell her that you two are going to hang out, you be assertive. You let her know what you two will do. Women like that nowadays.0 -
But in all seriousness women aren't normal like they used to be. You have to take what you want, you have to be a tiger and she has to be your food. You tell her that you two are going to hang out, you be assertive. You let her know what you two will do. Women like that nowadays.
soo he should sprinkle her with cinnamon?
Tigers f-ing love cinnamon. They hate pepper.0 -
But in all seriousness women aren't normal like they used to be. You have to take what you want, you have to be a tiger and she has to be your food. You tell her that you two are going to hang out, you be assertive. You let her know what you two will do. Women like that nowadays.
Nice method.. When she's asleep get her measurements and make her a custom-fit gazelle costume out of your own hair (shows a personal touch)
The next time you get on the bus, follow her and go for the chloroform approach. When she is unconscious get her changed in to the gazelle outfit and when she wakes up you'll know if she's interested. If she just sits there.. She's not bothered.. If she runs then she's obviously playing along with your tiger/gazelle roleplay and she wants you to catch her and drag her in to a corner with your mouth.
Simples 0 -
I seriously hope all of this is a joke to the OP. Otherwise, I would hate to think what all of you have been putting in his head. As a joke, all of this is cool. As a serious situation, this is all so screwed up........ Some of you have such sickness in your heads. I shudder to think what you all might do without a conscience to direct you.0
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