Women who don't accept male friend requests
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I'm happy to be with friends with m's as well as f's, and just use common sense with both gender when adding friends. I've only got 3 friends so far 2 girlies and 1 boy. As long as any friend is appropriate in their message content I'm fine. My other half is also fine with this as he knows I'm not on here long enough to get chatting asuch, and knows I'm not here to flirt. Other forums I'm wary about, and FB is one site I have to know you to add you. (Lots of marriage proposals from rich foreigners needing to live in the U.K and perverts!). :ohwell: But you do have to be careful on any on line interaction.
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I accept anybody, despite race, age, gender or sexual orientation. As long as they're supportive and active on here. The most supportive friends I have on MFP are men. They've never came off as creepy, and they offer more realistic advice than a lot of women. "Keep going", "Don't give up" and "You can do this" isn't very helpful. Kind, but not helpful.0
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sorry to be harsh, but women that use their signifcant others as reasons for not adding guys are:
1. delusional and hope their guys would get mad
2. jealous, and would get pissed if their guy did the same
3. are in less then healthy relationships because any guy that would not approve of that has issues and must think you are less than faithful.
I mean what else could it be ... how much more innocent could adding a guy on a weight loss website be? what the hell?
Now, i know guys, bering one, and I totally agree there are weirdos out there, so if that is your reason, fine, but to say your guy would not approve ...? ISSUES ....0 -
Why are people focusing on the ones who deny males based on their relationship status? Let them be. No need to insult their relationship and say how insecure they are if they won't have male friends. Certain relationships have more limits and others have less limits. Doesn't make either of them "bad" relationships. There are couples who allow swinging and open relationships. Those type of relationships could easily be thought of as not a "real" relationship but they are because the couple says they are, and that needs to be respected.
I never understand why people get so up in arms about what other people do in their relationship. They're not involved in the couple, so why are you so invested and angry?0 -
I'm always amazed at how many hang-ups women have.
um, just about every women I know has told me THAT IS THE REASON THEY HAVE GUY FRIENDS AND PREFER MEN COWORKERS. its nuts! lol
I always am amazed by that.0 -
Of course it is no ones business!
So are a lot of the questions asked on the message boards. Still there is nothing wrong with the OP asking a question about something she is curious about.
She already outed herself several times of not just being curious by trying to force her standards of support on the rest of us. Because she has no problem having male friends on here, she thinks the rest of us shouldn't either. This was a why don't you do the same thing I do thread disguised as an innocent question. She's shown us that in her follow up responses.0 -
To each his/her own. Some women do not even like men, so why should they have to friend them on a website?
What would be sad is if a woman was scared to friend a man on a site out of fear from her significant other, but if she just does not feel comfortable being friends with men, then really, who cares? Its like if you dont believe people should be gay, then dont be gay.
So far I have had a good experience on MFP with the men I have met and friended on here, but let me tell ya, I can not count the number of times I have been creeped on by men on other sites.
I thought our goal here was fitness, to me that is nutrition and exercise, not who people should be friends with. That is petty and so high school.0 -
Eh. Me? Personally? Bring on the dudes. I haven't had any creepers.
My guy would only get cranky if the males on my list were being .. inappropriate. I'm a flirty creature by nature, but that doesn't bother him. It would, on the other hand, bother him if I were sending private messages or indulging in ~hardcore cybersex~. Whatever that is :huh:
I might actually get a little self conscious if some hot dude added me and he saw my food diary when I'm not doing my best, but I don't think that would stop me from adding some buff Peter Steele lookalike. (If you're a Peter Steele lookalike, please add me! :smooched: )
I think we're all human and enjoy attractive bodies, no matter what the gender. It doesn't make you a bad guy. If adding dudes makes you uncomfortable, don't do it. If your dude has issues with men adding you .. well, talk to him about it. If he can explain himself without being an asshat about it, and you /agree/ with him, don't do it. It's not a big deal. If you want to be ~mysterious~ and keep men from seeing how farty you really are, don't add 'em.
And. Uh. Having a picture of yourself in a bikini does not mean that person is looking to get inappropriate messages, people. Really? Way to blame the victim.0 -
I really love my mfp friends. I pray for them when they need. I get happy when they are happy and it has gotten to the point where i always say love ya or xoxo. I leave a flirty (in a good way) smile for my bff. All this makes me happy and my husband sees how happy I am when i do this. I want to have a true sincere relationship with them. If i were to have a guy in my friends, maybe I'd feel the same!!!! Maybe I will get happy and even love and celebrate his triumphs. Now, I dont think my husband would like that? I do not want a conflict and I do not want to ever make him feel any weird way about my outstanding mfp friends! Thats my reason.0
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it depends what site it is i am on,,, but i have been there and done that!0
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sorry to be harsh, but women that use their signifcant others as reasons for not adding guys are:
1. delusional and hope their guys would get mad
2. jealous, and would get pissed if their guy did the same
3. are in less then healthy relationships because any guy that would not approve of that has issues and must think you are less than faithful.
I mean what else could it be ... how much more innocent could adding a guy on a weight loss website be? what the hell?
Now, i know guys, bering one, and I totally agree there are weirdos out there, so if that is your reason, fine, but to say your guy would not approve ...? ISSUES ....
You ca be as harsh as you want but all stated above is just an OPINION and not a fact. You don't personally know every woman who's in a relationship that prefers NOT to have male friends do you? Didn't think so. There are some of us who just respect our partner's wishes out of respect for them, it doesn't mean they are controlling or psycho either. Just like I don't assume that all the women/men who do have relationships out of their marriage/relationship are liberating *kitten* who sleep around.
Just because you are on a fitness site doesn't mean that everyone here has a mind for fitness. I, and many other women have received unwanted attention and not all of us has our *kitten* and tits hanging out. Unless the guy is fine with being a friend to both my husband and I, why else would I need him as a friend outside of the site? There are some people who just cross the line when it comes to male/female relations. To each their own, but please don't label everyone who has a differing opinion from yours. At the end of the day it's still an opinion.0 -
lol this thread makes me laugh! If I didn't have male friends in RL then I probably wouldn't have many friends. Personally, I play video game (Xbox and PS3 online) and I've come across it ALL! I love guys they are funny and don't hide what they are thinking and will tell you point blank if something makes you look fat (at least my husband will) Also, I'm a little on the bent side of things and if a guy gets grossed out by talking about my period it is just deserts for having to hear about his ball sweat. Just sayin. But I also can understand blocking for relationship purposes. However, what I find appalling are these girls who post these obvious 'sexy' bikini/underwear shots and then put NO MEN well DUH! if you post something showing yourself off like that you invite your own attention. I don't care how good someone may look in Victoria secret I don't wanna see it on your profile pic.0
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Why are people focusing on the ones who deny males based on their relationship status? Let them be. No need to insult their relationship and say how insecure they are if they won't have male friends. Certain relationships have more limits and others have less limits. Doesn't make either of them "bad" relationships. There are couples who allow swinging and open relationships. Those type of relationships could easily be thought of as not a "real" relationship but they are because the couple says they are, and that needs to be respected.
I never understand why people get so up in arms about what other people do in their relationship. They're not involved in the couple, so why are you so invested and angry?
Agreed! I would never judge a couple based on what they do in their relationship. It's none of my business and I can't stand it when people go out on a limb to judge mine. Just because I'm married to a guy who doesn't prefer me to have male friends outside of "us" doesn't mean I'm married to some controlling psycho who has past relationship issues. In my opinion, me having male friends outside of him is a bit questionable. Again, that's my opinion and I respect those who don't agree, just don't throw it in my face and assume.0 -
Maybe they only want female friends. Isn't that reason enough?
I guess, but enough to go out of their way to specify that male friend requests won't be accepted? I just don't understand why. It's mind boggling to me. What's wrong with male friends?
I just prefer to have female friends. I have the "only accept female friends" on my profile so the guys know not to waste their time trying to add me and I don't seem rude for never accepting them.0 -
I am single so I accept male friends. many have been very nice to me. I think some in relationships may feel the boyfriend/ or husband may not like it if the lady would talk to another man.0
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From the ones that I did see with that request it was usually out of respect for their spouse or current relationship. I have majority females on mine besides my husband & a male cousin. I just don't get male requests but my husband is fine with it. My husband has both but majority females and I'm ok with it because we share some of the same people. He also tells me when he gets a new friend request also. The goal of this journey is to be supportive in a positive way to who needs it. Nothing more, nothing less. He's not communicating with them outside of MFP or being inappropriate with them on MFP. I understand that people may have to do what they need to do keep peace in their homes even if that means by not excepting certain requests. Can't do anything but respect their choice.0
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I wonder too sometimes especially if they are scantily clad... What they want to just tease the men? The male friends I have here are great.0
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My friends list on MFP is comprised of both men and women. My husband of nearly 12 yrs trusts me enough to be friends with whoever I want. Love my friends here - just wish they were more interactive. I enjoy friends with a sense of humor.0
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Very sweet and agree
with Rachellosesit. We are all different!
As we are different sizes and shapes so are relationships! 0 -
I personally prefer having female friends because I just feel that I can relate more to them. If I find a male that whom I feel would be helpful to me to have as a friend, then I have no problem adding them. I only have about 4 male friends, and they are all pretty close to my age. I don't care about the ages of my female friends, but it makes me uncomfortable to have male friends over a certain age. (I am only 18)0
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I accept anybody, despite race, age, gender or sexual orientation. As long as they're supportive and active on here. The most supportive friends I have on MFP are men. They've never came off as creepy, and they offer more realistic advice than a lot of women. "Keep going", "Don't give up" and "You can do this" isn't very helpful. Kind, but not helpful.
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The reason I don't accept male friend requests is something you hit on- the progress pics i've taken have been so helpful to me in seeing my progress but i don't feel comfortable having others guys look at and comment on my body. I'm engaged and i know 1. my fiancee wouldn't be comfortable with it either and 2. he is extremely supportive and always gives me feedback, constructive criticism, and encouragement. Also, men and women are SO different in what they need to train. I read forums and blogs so i do see good advice but i like to talk with women so i can relate.
If i get a male friend request, which is not frequent, i send a polite message explaining why i won't accept and wish them luck and offer encouragement. I have always gotten nice and respectful messages back so it's not really those men i'm guarding against. Just a little more cautious although anything on the internet is pretty public these days...
Yah might wanna make yer profile more private then. Yer picz are very visible.
Good, although painfully obvious, suggestion. Already thought of it. Not sure how to make only the pictures private. I want people to be able to read my profile but not see the pics. Not sure if it's possible.
Do ya have a suggestion on how to do that? Is yer profile private like that? How do you hide yer picz?
In addition, I honestly just don't want to interact with the guys that are creeping my page (like you did). If they do it, I can't stop it so whatever. But i can deny friend requests so i'm not put in compromising situations that i want to avoid.
If you do not want people seeing your pictures, you delete them.0 -
The reason I don't accept male friend requests is something you hit on- the progress pics i've taken have been so helpful to me in seeing my progress but i don't feel comfortable having others guys look at and comment on my body. I'm engaged and i know 1. my fiancee wouldn't be comfortable with it either and 2. he is extremely supportive and always gives me feedback, constructive criticism, and encouragement. Also, men and women are SO different in what they need to train. I read forums and blogs so i do see good advice but i like to talk with women so i can relate.
If i get a male friend request, which is not frequent, i send a polite message explaining why i won't accept and wish them luck and offer encouragement. I have always gotten nice and respectful messages back so it's not really those men i'm guarding against. Just a little more cautious although anything on the internet is pretty public these days...
I wouldn't exactly class clicking on someone's profile as 'creeping'
If you really are so sensitive why not make your profile restricted access? http://www.myfitnesspal.com/account/profile_privacy
Yah might wanna make yer profile more private then. Yer picz are very visible.
Good, although painfully obvious, suggestion. Already thought of it. Not sure how to make only the pictures private. I want people to be able to read my profile but not see the pics. Not sure if it's possible.
Do ya have a suggestion on how to do that? Is yer profile private like that? How do you hide yer picz?
In addition, I honestly just don't want to interact with the guys that are creeping my page (like you did). If they do it, I can't stop it so whatever. But i can deny friend requests so i'm not put in compromising situations that i want to avoid.0 -
Some women on here have boyfriends, husbands, or are even just single and want to post progress photos. Some of these women are more modest and would prefer only other females to see them. Or, as some women mentioned, they prefer to be modest about certain bodily functions and it makes them more comfortable to talk to these issues with women only. There is absolutely nothing wrong with a little modesty or respect for your spouse when it comes to showing off your near-nude body or sparing yourself embarrassment when it comes to talking about non 'lady-like' subjects (not my personal opinion of said subjects). There is also nothing wrong with the complete opposite and showing it off to everyone so long as you and your spouse are cool with that. I am friends with males and females, my husband knows and is perfectly fine with it, but the day I wanted to post some risque pictures I would probably choose to only have girl-friends on here as well.
I really don't know how or why people don't see the reasoning behind some women only wanting female friends. There is nothing wrong with it, just like there is nothing wrong with the opposite.0 -
I only except women because of the simple fact I have one man in my life that I need to look good to. No other man needs to tell me I'm looking good. And women understand things we go through more then man. Just what I do .0
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I really can't believe that so many people judge on something as arbitrary as gender. It's really confusing to me.
Anyway, people making comments implying girls are asking for creepy messages because of profile pictures is despicable. A member should be free to post any picture they want, within the rules, without the fear of being harassed by a creep online. Yes, there are creeps that will do so, but the blame lies with them, none of it lies with the person who posts the photo. It's almost like the usual justification of rape 'she was wearing skimpy clothes...' . Bull****.0 -
I would prefer to be friends with males because they are much less judgemental than women.
But, if I had to guess why, I would say it's because maybe some of their pictures show a little much and they're uncomfortable/insecure with men they don't know seeing them?
Hmm, I don't know about that. I think women are just less judgemental to your face. In general, guys will tell you the truth, women will tell everyone EXCEPT you the truth0 -
It sounds quite pretentious to me. I wonder what their reaction would be if all the men put 'no females!' on their profile.
LOL, I'm open to anyone :-)
I was wondering the same thing. Maybe I'm wrong, but I kind of feel like a lot of the women who refuse to have male friends would call it sexist if a guy tried to do the same thing0 -
I know I debated for awhile on not adding guys but ultimately decided I didn't care. I didn't want to get hit on/creepy messages, which I get anyway, but just ignore, but it was more that I didn't want to admit that I was "overweight" to a member of the opposite sex or post progress pics that guys could see and maybe go, "ew!" at. Just a little self conscious about my body, and a random guy's opinion matters more to me than a random girl's opinion, for whatever reason.0
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I really can't believe that so many people judge on something as arbitrary as gender. It's really confusing to me.
Anyway, people making comments implying girls are asking for creepy messages because of profile pictures is despicable. A member should be free to post any picture they want, within the rules, without the fear of being harassed by a creep online. Yes, there are creeps that will do so, but the blame lies with them, none of it lies with the person who posts the photo. It's almost like the usual justification of rape 'she was wearing skimpy clothes...' . Bull****.
Agreed, rape culture really sucks.0
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