Significant other not going to work/school when they say the
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Immediately go and get tested for STD's...0
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I would ask them about it... it may be nothing other than maybe they need some time for themselves and feel guilty for taking it. But, trust is the mainstay of any relationship... if they can't be honest with you, then you need to know why.0
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Talk to them.0
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I used to lie about going to class because I wanted to sleep in, and didn't want to seem lazy lol
"I'd rather be a lazy liar instead" :yawn:0 -
Ask why they felt the need to lie about it in the first place. It could be something really messed up, or it could be something like this:
When my bf and I started dating he worked for a cable company. I knew he didn't really like his job, but it was a job, and this was right around the time everybody everywhere was starting to get laid off, he was thankful he had a job.
A few months go by and he tells me they've started laying people off at his company, but as far as he knew his job was safe (he's a really hard worker no matter what the job). Well one day I got off work pretty early and noticed his car was at my place (we didn't live together, but he stayed at my place a lot...he had 3 roommates lol). When I came inside he told me that he had been laid off the Friday before (this was on a Thursday) and every day that week he'd gotten up and gone out job hunting and he was just so ashamed he'd lost his job he didn't know how to tell me. That was the 100% truth of the matter. I was upset he hadn't told me right off the bat and had mislead me, but I understood the situation.
Just giving a little personal story to say that it's not always what you think. Then again, it could be exactly what you think, them doing something shady. I say confront them, get to the bottom of it.0 -
BTDT. It's not necessarily because they're doing something they shouldn't...sometimes it's simply not wanting to admit failure at something. I'd have a long talk and then plan on working on rebuilding your trust and letting them work on whatever it is that made them feel lying was the only option...there's life after lying, but it takes work,0
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Is it a regular thing or a one off? I'd see if it's happening consistently before I jumped to any conclusions. There have been times i've told my SO i'm doing something but then my plans have changed. Perhaps they have a doc apt they didn't want to talk about, perhaps it was a freak occurrence. I'd def get my facts straight before confronting them
Good point. If it's like one time there could be a totally normal explanation, but if it's a habit, then I'd worry.0 -
Absolutely talk to them. Do your best to remain calm and non-accusatory at first. Did this happen once or consistently? In other words, are they planning a huge birthday party for YOU and needed the time or are they cheating? Find out the facts before pointing fingers. But once the trust is broken, that's a really difficult thing to repair IMHO. Communication is key. Don't let it eat away at you. Best of luck.0
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This is where I would go all P.I. on them confirm what I can then confront then take it from there.0
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I'm going to go a different direction than anybody else so far... Sometimes I tell my wife I'm going to work and I will get up, shower, dress, and leave like I'm going to work. I go to Starbucks and get a cup of coffee and wait for her to go to work. Then I go back to the house and work on projects that I need to get done around the house. If I tell her I'm taking the day off, some of her projects will get put on my to-do list. Another time I did this, I stayed home and put up all of the Christmas decorations on the outside of the hosue for my wife. I always tell my wife when she gets home what I've done. She just HATES me using my vacation for house projects. I'd rather ask for forgiveness than permission. It sounds like you have the need for a sit down talk...!!!0
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I used to lie about going to class because I wanted to sleep in, and didn't want to seem lazy lol
"I'd rather be a lazy liar instead" :yawn:
Yep! I was a "lazy, lying, stoner" when I was 19. It was fun, but not a sustainable lifestyle.
Now I'm 22 and almost finished with my 2nd degree, and in the healthiest relationship of my life
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u don't wanna know.
I would set myself FREE. NO room for dishonesty in MY bed. NONE. I don't tolerate it at any level for ANY reason.
free is better0 -
If you have a gut feeling that he/she is cheating, then find out on your own what's going on so you have the information you need when you talk about it. If you have a strong relationship and have no other reasons for suspicion, just ask.0
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I would have to find out what they are doing instead, just to make sure nothing other than lying is going on. Also it gives you more evidence when you have to confront them. But boy o boy would I be super pissed!!0
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I'd cut them loose.
Dishonesty is the worst thing that can happen to a relationship.
My wife doesn't report to me and doesn't need my permision for anything and that goes both ways, but neither of us lies to the other for any reason.0 -
Doesn't sound good but find out the facts before you react.0
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Talk to them and find out what's really happening. Maybe there's some reasonable explanation. Or maybe they're having trouble and afraid/embarrassed to ask for help. Sometimes people do things like this when they are suffering with depression and don't feel up to dealing with it.0
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Personally I wouldn't waste my time asking them anything because if they are lying about that there are lying about a whole lot more than that...so for me recon would be in order. I believe what I see and seeing the facts for myself. So i would make arrangement to find out exactly where they were going and then after I have busted them, then I would confront the situations with the facts that I already know.0
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Mine DID do this once. He was supposed to be going to serve his community service, I went up to the animal shelter at lunch and they said he was not there. I was furious. I drove by his mom's house, and his truck was there. I knocked, told him mom what was going on, and went in and woke him up. Just told him I thought that since he was working SO HARD, I should bring him some lunch...... and that he better enjoy it, because it is much better than the food he would soon be eating in jail. He was REALLY embarrassed.0
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I had a friend of mine pretend to go to work for almost two weeks before his wife caught him. She called the office to ask him some question, and found out he had been let go two weeks ago. He was simply too embarrassed to tell his wife, and was working his butt off trying to find a new job.
What he did wasn't right, but it wasn't the worst possible scenario either. Talk about it.
I forgot. I actually read a novel about this. It was called The Pursuit of Other Interests and was quite good. Highly recommend.0 -
I would get really suspicious! Maybe get a bright spotlight and give'em the third degree. I can make you taaaalk.:huh: :huh:0
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I would ask them why they weren't there! If you know for a fact they weren't where they said they were and that person blatantly lies to your face then you have a problem. Obviously there is something to hide otherwise there would be no reason to destroy the trust between each other!0
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Just talk to them that is all you can do.0
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I actually had this happen to me. My then s/o dropped out of school and didn't tell me for whatever reason. We didn't go to the same school so I didn't find out until he eventually told me. I was upset that he dropped out because I wanted us both to go to school to be better for the other. He just wasn't mentally ready for the disciplined life of school. We broke up because he wasn't exactly supportive of me continuing with school. 4 years later he's wrapping up his AA and I'm finishing my MS and we have both moved on.0
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I'm going to go a different direction than anybody else so far... Sometimes I tell my wife I'm going to work and I will get up, shower, dress, and leave like I'm going to work. I go to Starbucks and get a cup of coffee and wait for her to go to work. Then I go back to the house and work on projects that I need to get done around the house. If I tell her I'm taking the day off, some of her projects will get put on my to-do list. Another time I did this, I stayed home and put up all of the Christmas decorations on the outside of the hosue for my wife. I always tell my wife when she gets home what I've done. She just HATES me using my vacation for house projects. I'd rather ask for forgiveness than permission. It sounds like you have the need for a sit down talk...!!!
This... I find that if people know I'm home from work, my day never ends up being MY day. Sometimes a person just wants a day to themsevles.
That being said, I would definitely just ask them.0 -
I used to lie about going to class because I wanted to sleep in, and didn't want to seem lazy lol
"I'd rather be a lazy liar instead" :yawn:
Yep! I was a "lazy, lying, stoner" when I was 19. It was fun, but not a sustainable lifestyle.
Now I'm 22 and almost finished with my 2nd degree, and in the healthiest relationship of my life
Bam! I'm super happy for you.
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Follow them and find out where they are going and what they are doing. If its bad then I'd confront them.0
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The story of my life. My spouse routinely doesnt go to work, stay at work or is late for work. He hasn't had a full 80 hour paycheck in 2 years. And this is no exageration. He misses work for doctor appointments, dentist appointments, anxiety attacks, poor weather, sick, too sore from hockey the night before, too tired, or just bored of the work he was doing that day. It is frustrating because we work for the same company and the routinely quiz me on why he is absent. He was told if he is late again they are firing him. He has been suspended because of his attendence. He knows that if he is to be fired because of this, I am gone.
This routine places alot of stress on our relationship so I suggest address it now before it turns into a regular habit like I am dealing with now. Good luck.0 -
I kicked him out. My oldest son's dad was doing this for a few months. It was the straw that broke the camel's back. I kicked him out and ended our relationship. I couldn't support him and my son.0
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If I catch someone in a lie, I will make them lie a little more so that I can really bust them.
"So how was work honey?" "What did you do in school today? Oh, that's cool. Was Brittany there? How is she doing?"
See how far they'll go before they trip up. Then drop the hammer.0
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