The "Sissifying" of America...

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  • FitLink
    FitLink Posts: 1,317 Member
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    Well, I was the last one picked, too, and I wasn't the fat kid. The fat kid got picked ahead of me. I was clumsy. I have Asperger's, (a form of high-functioning autism) so I'm smart, and classes and tests were EASY for me, but my muscle coordination is very bad due to Asperger's so I'm not good at sports. Add to that that I have no depth perception, so I can't throw accurately or catch. No amount of practice will fix this. I am physically unable to tell where in space things are. And I did do what could be done about it. I was mercilessly teased because I looked like frankenstein after eye surgery that was supposed to fix my vison problems. It didn't, so I am still unable to tell where things are in space, still can't throw accurately or catch. What else would you suggest I do about it? Or do some people just deserve to be treated as losers because they are born losers?

    Doesn't mean you born a loser. It means you were born with or developed special needs. Maybe, you shouldn't have been set-up for failure if that is the case.

    You tap into the talents someone has.

    All kids have special needs, not just those on the autism spectrum. All kids are different. It's possible, even desireable, to encourage kids to compare themselves to them selves, not to other kids, to measure success. You're not "sissifying" kids by asserting they can all be winners. They may not all BE winners, mind you, but it is absolutely true that they all can be.

    BTW, I didn't know about my Asperger's when I was a kid. I was diagnosed as an adult. It explains a lot of the whys of my childhood, but, because my IQ is actually high (which isn't unusual with Asperger's) I received no special attention in school. I dreaded phys ed classes, where I'd be made fun of and explicitly called a "loser" regularly becaaquse of things I could do nothing about.

    I think you are hung up on the bullying side of it when the issue at hand is whether not declaring "winners" or "losers" is making "sissys" of this generation. Should you have been bullied because you weren't as coordinated at sports as other kids? No, ofcourse not. I think what most people are trying to say on here is that during competitions, whether that be athletic or academic, there should be a clear cut winner. No one is saying a kid should be bullied for not excelling in a particular area. We all have our strengths and weaknesses and by having competitions with a "winner" and "loser" our youth will be able to better hone in on what they do well at.

    Declaring children winners and losers is what encourages bullying. Because some "natural strengths" are simply valued more than others at various ages. NOW, my intellectual skills are more valued, but in school, skill at sports was way more valued, at least among my peers. If I had been good at basketball or softball rather than math and science i doubt I'd have been bullied. Furthermore, there were prizes and praise for winning at basketball, but only humiliation for winning the science fair. Plus, I was forced to participate in sports, but the kids who weren't interested in or good at science didn't have to participate in the science fair. Participation awards should be given whenever participation is mandatory.
  • DG_Allen
    DG_Allen Posts: 219 Member
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    There is now evidence that shows the "self esteem" movement wasn't based on good science. Read a book I read call "Will Power."
  • DataBased
    DataBased Posts: 513 Member
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    Yeah. Stupid US Constitution takes it even further! You know that people actually expect to be treated equally, regardless of race, creed, color, national origin etc! Fairness is WAY out of hand!
    Not so. The Declaration of Independence says "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness."

    In the vernacular of the times, the "pursuit of Happiness' referred to a person's self-determination - the ability to turn one's hand to any trade or profession and keep the fruits of that labor.

    America, as a nation, promises equal opportunity. Not equal outcomes. For outcomes, you have to earn your way to what you want.
  • papa3x
    papa3x Posts: 286
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    I still don't get where people are talking about kids being called LOSERS.... AGAIN, and for the FINAL time, a child is not a loser if he loses. All I was saying is that kids need the chance to learn from when they do lose. Losing can provide powerful teaching moments if handled well by adults. IMO, Kids need this to learn how to deal with life in the future. Life isn't everybody winning a blue ribbon because they participated. Life is difficult enough when you know how to lose, and much more difficult when you don't know how to lose.
  • donnantx
    donnantx Posts: 76
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    I agree....and the kids now are told how wonderful and perfect they are...so they believe everyone in the world thinks they are wonderful and perfect without really having earned anything. (yes I am the mother of 4, bonus mom of 1, grandmother of 4) Kids do not know how to earn anything anymore....drives me nuts
  • KaleidoscopeEyes1056
    KaleidoscopeEyes1056 Posts: 2,996 Member
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    Here's a good one, my high school student wasn't handing the work on time. Well, we go to conferences and the teacher says "He has plenty of time to make it up, I'll let him hand it in late". Hubs is like, "Fail him". Bottom line is, it affects their "numbers" if you have a bunch of kids who fail. They let him slide.

    Oh, here's the new thing now you don't get zeros for not handing in work, you get 50% because it brings down the grade too much.

    What's worse are the parents who yell at the teachers for their kids' failing grades. I had that happen in my high school. It was AP Biology (not regular biology, but an elective that you chose to be in if you thought you were up for the challenge) and we were dissecting cats. I was absent the day that the groups were chosen, and I ended up getting stuck with the lazy b!tches in the class.

    Throughout the whole dissection, I did the lion's share of the work, and I was hopelessly behind the other groups in the class. The dissection grade was based on the progress that we made and the accuracy, so when it came time to get the grades, my group was dead last when it came to progress. The teacher did take pity on me, though, seeing as the other groups had three people working together to get the project done, and I was by myself. So, even though the grade was supposed to be on a group basis, and not an individual one, I ended up getting a B (I deserved this because I made a few errors while doing the dissection) and my other group members both got Ds.

    Their parents were furious over the fact that they weren't doing well. They were both Seniors, both in National Honor Society (even though they cheated their way there) and they were both in sports, so this bad grade could jeopardize a lot for them. Instead of yelling at their kids for being lazy and cheating, the parents came in to yell at the teacher and try to get him fired for doing his job. Very frustrating...
  • taunto
    taunto Posts: 6,420 Member
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    My reaction when I hear my fellow college mates telling me how the parents nowadays treat them

    1em2q9.jpg
  • KeToyger
    KeToyger Posts: 1
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    Too true man. We have an epidemic of narcissists and self-entitled spoiled f*cks quickly entering into adulthood, while high school and elementary school promise to keep the flow of them coming. As you said, mediocrity is encouraged and winning or succeeding becomes some sort of "extra, unnecessary work that only dorks and teachers pets would care about". Quite possibly the most infuriating aspect is that I'm unemployed, NOT on unemployment, and looking frantically for a job, and I see/hear people *****ing about wanting to switch jobs just because they have to actually do work. Cashiers, busboys, daytime shelf-stockers, prep-cooks.. all EASY and entry-level jobs that I would kill to get, are filled by selfish, lazy, spoiled teenage + young adult narcissists.
  • kappyd
    kappyd Posts: 199 Member
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    That was my first thought when I was watching the news about the school shooter at the college in CA. Saying he was after an admin person because he had been kicked out of school. My first thought was he probably always got a ribbon for showing up and never learned how to fail.
  • treetop57
    treetop57 Posts: 1,578 Member
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    Don't blame us sissies if your kids aren't as wonderful as they think they are.
  • KaleidoscopeEyes1056
    KaleidoscopeEyes1056 Posts: 2,996 Member
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    Wow.
    In this thread, practically everyone believes they're right and everyone else is wrong.

    Welcome to the interwebs!
  • penrbrown
    penrbrown Posts: 2,685 Member
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    Wow.
    In this thread, practically everyone believes they're right and everyone else is wrong.

    Um... we're supposed to think we're right and everyone else is right too? Or that we're wrong and everyone else is right? or... or what other scenario makes sense to you?

    In my world it's pretty common for people to think they are correct in their assertions. Any other scenario would be a bit odd...
  • firesoforion
    firesoforion Posts: 1,017 Member
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    Reading so many people I agree with makes me happy, so I'm bumping this thread.

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