"I'm never getting married again."

Options
1…5681011…13

Replies

  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
    Options
    Just wanted to say "Hi, I'm Jane"...




    ...please continue chatting on about my life:)

    Hi lover :)
    I've never wanted to punch and make out with someone so intensely in my life as I do right now.

    I know... you love me. But why not get some other opinions? Take it with a grain of salt and make up your own mind :) You love the *kitten* that he is, but you also want marriage. So, which is the trump card?
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
    Options
    Well I think Jane is awesome and hot and he better be smart because if he's not careful...

    Jane, and I... love you ;-P
  • ladybug8814
    ladybug8814 Posts: 41 Member
    Options
    If she says she is worthy of lifelong commitment of being married then she needs to let her actions speak louder than words and dump him.

    Divorce is hard I understand his statement. I said it myself 20 years ago. However, it didn't last. I remarried 7 years later but after a lot of recovery and healing. Married going on 13 years in June.

    If I was her I would move on and find a guy that is going to commit.
  • nkziv
    nkziv Posts: 161 Member
    Options
    What is the point of dating then if there will never be a marriage? It's every girls dream to have that special day. If you love her, and that is the person you want to be with forever, why not get married?

    it is definitely not every girl's dream. people change. half of marriages fail. other than tax benefits, there's really no point! unless there are children involved... then, because of the society we live in, it may be easier for them socially to have 2 parents who are committed to one another, whether or not that involves a legal marriage.

    That being said, I like to think that i will get married someday. I just realize that it's not for everyone!
  • TNGURL
    TNGURL Posts: 89 Member
    Options
    That was very hurtful to Jane.... she doesn't deserve that. It's obvious he doesn't want a commitment, you CANNOT change people.... people can change, only if they want to change!!! It's time to move on, Jane deserves the best. Good luck girl (;
  • aree2525
    aree2525 Posts: 38 Member
    Options
    I work in a male dominated career, I hear ALLOT of the really not nice things the guys say about their wives and girlfriends. BUT, I have found a whole slew of men who really really want to be married! I have met men who cry on a weekly bases because they cant find their wife! Men who are tuned inside out that their wives are going astray! Men who are preparing their homes and hate going back to it because they don't have a wife in it! I recently married one of these men. He gave me one of his diaries. Where he was writing letters to his future wife back in 2002!!!!!! (I am sorry to say that at that time I was going with a man for 6 years who confessed to me he had slept with 17 other women while being 'with' me. And the list goes on) POINT of the story: If you want one man to be your husband- FIND THAT MAN! And don't break your future husband's heart by giving 10 men along the way a piece of your body. I have names and numbers,,,,,,,,,,
  • BeautifulArtemis
    BeautifulArtemis Posts: 641 Member
    Options
    Dump him, he's a waste of time.
  • DeeJayTJ
    DeeJayTJ Posts: 355 Member
    Options
    i dont see the point of marriage really, its a piece of paper. maybe a while ago it meant something so much more but people just get married and divorced so often it seems worthless.

    if they are exclusive to each other, and good together, whats wrong with keeping it how it is? what makes it a waste of time if hes not looking for anyone else but knows that shes the one for him?

    u could find some guy willing to marry you, but he might treat you like ur a doormat.
  • dalmiechick45
    dalmiechick45 Posts: 164 Member
    Options
    She needs to decide if marriage is important to her or not. Many people can be in long-lasting committed relationships without ever having that piece of paper that says they are married.

    If it is important to her, then she needs to end the relationship and find a person who values the same things. If she feels like she could spend her life with him without actually being married, then there's no reason to end a good thing. However, making a statement like that in front of her and his friends is really just kind of rude.

    She basically needs to decide if not getting married is a deal breaker. If it is, then she needs to end it and move on.

    ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^NIcely said.
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,229 Member
    Options
    - My bf is an *kitten*. Plain and simple.

    Hence why so many say move on.

    BTW... sorry he 'announced' that in front of your friends without discussing it with you. I think I would have dumped him for that reason alone... just me though.
  • Helenatrandom
    Helenatrandom Posts: 1,166 Member
    Options
    I may seem old-fashioned and maybe even a little over the top, but what ever happened to following Christs example and God's Word? Yes, I am a Christian, and yes, I have been divorced which I know is sin. I am a sinner, plain and simple. We all are. Its how we move forward from that sin and if we confess, God is a forgiving God! I also said I would never remarry. I did not want to go through that pain ever again. I must tell you, I remarried my best friend in December 2010. I didn't see it coming, I wasn't looking for it, it just happened. I fell in love!!!! It can happen at any age, any time. I am happier in my marriage than I have ever been in my life, excluding the birth of my children. I just wanted to add the religious end of things, because this may be a factor for Jane, and it is a decision only she can make. Best of luck! Its not an easy one to make, but communication is very important, so talk it out. Share your inmost desires, and go from there. If this gentleman (and I use this term with a grain of salt after his impromptu remark) is not the one, a split is in need. God has something better in store for your life. Trust Him, and Pray!!!


    Marriage was around before man created a "god". Cultures around the world who don't believe in your "god" still have marriages.

    She was pointing out that Jane may have Religious reasons for wanting marriage over her current relationship status, and that if that is the case, she should trust in God and move on knowing she has a future and is in His hands. She used her own life as an example. She never claimed that people of other faiths or no faith at all don't get married.
    I happen to fully agree that if this is a matter of faith for Jane, then she should step out in faith and do as led.
    I, too, believe in a loving God that won't let us slip through His fingers when things seem to be falling apart.
    If this isn't a matter of faith but what she wants out of life, then she has to reexamine what that is and then go in that direction.
  • Meisterberger
    Meisterberger Posts: 24
    Options
    - My bf is an *kitten*. Plain and simple.

    Hence why so many say move on.

    BTW... sorry he 'announced' that in front of your friends without discussing it with you. I think I would have dumped him for that reason alone... just me though.

    You have no idea. I just sat there like "Really? Did that just happen?"
  • tkcasta
    tkcasta Posts: 405 Member
    Options
    Psh....marriage is just a government-issued piece of paper. If they love each other, why do they need a tax statement to prove it?

    ^^^This
  • Pams_Shadow
    Pams_Shadow Posts: 233 Member
    Options
    It's a piece of paper. You're going to dump him for a piece of paper. If you're happy with him and you love him, why is a piece of paper so important? It's not like it's the never-going-to-break-up-or-leave you piece of paper.... divorce removes that piece of paper everytime. Quit whining about a slice of dead tree and enjoy your man. Sheesh!
  • marieautumn
    marieautumn Posts: 932 Member
    Options
    He never intends to get married. She should accept this or move on and find some one who can meet her needs if she decides she would like to be married one day. Otherwise she will waste years in a situation that will not bring her what she requires to be happy.
  • kc3poh
    kc3poh Posts: 10
    Options
    What a douchey thing to say with absolutely, douchetastic timing. However, I am SO glad that not every stupid, hurtful thing I've blurted out gets held against me. Talk to him. Find out where his heart REALLY is. Decide from there.
  • marieautumn
    marieautumn Posts: 932 Member
    Options
    It's a piece of paper. You're going to dump him for a piece of paper. If you're happy with him and you love him, why is a piece of paper so important? It's not like it's the never-going-to-break-up-or-leave you piece of paper.... divorce removes that piece of paper everytime. Quit whining about a slice of dead tree and enjoy your man. Sheesh!
    because its obviously something she wants in life, and why should she deny herself that just because he isnt willing to give it to her? to most people its more than just a piece of paper. it actually means something.
  • TheDoctorDana
    TheDoctorDana Posts: 595 Member
    Options
    Sounds like he has some real bitterness issues. More than likely if he does marry someone it will end up in divorce anyway bc of his inability to trust anyone. He will more than likely compare Jane to his former ex every time they have a disagreement. IMO, he sounds like an emotional black hole and I would steer clear.
  • TinaLTaylor79
    TinaLTaylor79 Posts: 140 Member
    Options
    If Marriage is important to her and something she wants, then cleary this guy no matter how much she loves him is not her guy!! Also, what he did and how he did it was very rude and inconsiderate to her.
  • Pams_Shadow
    Pams_Shadow Posts: 233 Member
    Options
    It's a piece of paper. You're going to dump him for a piece of paper. If you're happy with him and you love him, why is a piece of paper so important? It's not like it's the never-going-to-break-up-or-leave you piece of paper.... divorce removes that piece of paper everytime. Quit whining about a slice of dead tree and enjoy your man. Sheesh!
    because its obviously something she wants in life, and why should she deny herself that just because he isnt willing to give it to her? to most people its more than just a piece of paper. it actually means something.

    Which is why the divorce rate is at an all time low, right? Hahahaha...

    If it's more important than him, then she should leave. The choice is, a piece of paper that means something to her versus staying with a guy that doesn't want a piece of paper.

Categories