Having Babies is no Excuse

People whine too much...she said just because we've had kids does NOT mean we're doomed to be fat...

OK...so this may be a little harsh, but I feel it needs to be said. Just because we have had kids does not mean that we are doomed to be fat and not fit. Sure, we may not get that perfect pre-baby body back, but this is no excuse to just give up.

I do understand the "giving up" thought....I had it a few times...in fact, I even bought bigger shirts to hide my tummy.

I thought this was actually encouraging:

SOOOOO...DO NOT LET HAVING A BABY/BABIES GET YOU DOWN!!! You have got to want to lose the weight and to build a healthy and beautiful body. You can do it!! Get motivated and get angry!!! Beat that stupid baby belly and flabby arms!!!

Why do people get so upset about everything? I gained weight with each of my pregnancies and more weight after...my youngest is 12 so I can't use the "I just had a baby" excuse. It's because I've been lazy about getting fit but I'll be damned if I'm going to stay this size forever...at least not without some serious effort on my part!

If you don't like what someone has to say why even bother reading it? If the first line offends you, click the little x at the top of the page or click the back button. Really people...I just don't see how this offended anyone. Am I not being sensitive enough? Did I read it the wrong way? Am I missing something? I guess maybe because I tend to be a blunt person, tend to speak without thinking, and usually stick my foot in my mouth I just don't see it? I've had to be told I'm being rude before...not because I'm stupid but because I simply didn't think I was, I was just being my usual self (and yes, when someone says I've been rude and I didn't realize it I do apologize, I don't like intentionally hurting people)

Can I add just a little bit?

Although I agree that having kids is no excuse to let yourself go, there are probably some moms who were like me and despite sincerely trying, they still found it near impossible to gain control of this part of their lives. A year ago, I would have found this post very discouraging and it would have served as a club to beat myself over the head!

Unfortunately, sometimes pregnancies can seriously mess up your hormones, which makes it VERY hard to lose weight and affects you emotionally, as well. Add a hectic schedule and lack of sleep and you have a very frustrated mom.

If there is anyone like that, I would encourage you to fix the underlying problem first. If you can get your hormones back into balance, it will go a long way to giving you a boost emotionally and physically to get the job done.

I started out with information from the following website that gave me hope that it wasn't just a lack of motivation or laziness:

http://www.womentowomen.com/understandyourbody/symptoms/default.aspx

(Ignore the sales pitch at the bottom... obviously they want to sell their product, but the information itself is encouraging and helpful!)

I didn't actually stick with the program there due to the high cost of the supplements, but it did give me a springboard to help myself and I started researching on my own what I needed to do to get my hormones back to an even keel.

For me, I needed to eat less than the recommended carbs (I started out at around 100 grams/day and have gradually increased them...this also naturally resulted in less processed foods and more nutrient-rich foods) AND I needed to exercise hard and long enough to break a good sweat . After the first few pounds, I stalled because I wasn't eating enough and learned that I had to eat enough to convince my body that it could give up some fat.

Now 8 months later, all of my hormonal symptoms have pretty much disappeared, I'm only 5 lbs. above my wedding weight and my husband says I look better than I ever have.

More importantly, I'm healthy physically and emotionally, which is really what this journey is all about. Hopefully, for those that don't find the original post too encouraging, you will see that it really can be done and there's help and hope for you!

I'm so glad to read this! I still have a LONG way to go on my weight loss journey, but I have come a long way in the 2 months since I started. I keep seeing a lot of posts about people not wanting to drop their kids off at the gym daycare or exercising after the kids go to bed. What about getting your kids involved in your workouts? I do yoga in my living room with the kids (I have a 4 year old girl, 3 year old boy and a 7 month old boy). We go for bikerides, run around and play tag in the yard, and for weight training, I lift my kids. It's nothing formal, but I'm down 17.2 lbs since February 19th (i didn't join this site until i was into my weight loss kick a few weeks). I feel great, look better, am having a GREAT time with my kids and my kids are learning the importance of staying active.

Also, I understand that SEEING results keeps us motivated but wanting to be healthy enough to watch my kids grow up is my motivation. My maternal grandmother died at 55 of heart disease (she had 7 kids and her youngest was 16). My other grandmother died at 49 of a heart attack (she had 9 kids, the youngest was 9). My father died at 57 of complications of type 2 diabetes 5 weeks before his first grandchild (my daughter) was born. I don't have good genes on my side, so I need to be able to control the things I can for the sake of my children. A parent's first job is to be there for their child. God forbid somthing ever happened to me, I don't ever want my children to think that I didn't take my health seriously.

Tinkr, you're a great inspiration! Don't let the negative people get to you. People who feel bad about themselves usually don't like facing other peoples' success... Misery loves company.

If you can look like that after having 6(!!!) children, there's no reason I can't, too!

i have a girl, had her when i was 21 and i have so much lose skin and stretch marks but i blame my own self because i was overweight when i got pregnant which only made things worse on me. now that i have lost 40 lbs i mean i feel alot better but my tummy is absolutely ruined. even if i lose the weight i dont see how it could ever look "normal". i would like one more child and after that and i get all the weight back off i plan on surgery because it just looks aweful. So i can comp understand when some women feel almost like whatever to weight loss because i am in that right now. i cannot get myself motivated to lost this last 30 lbs, I wish i had your motivation -_-

What is offensive is this mightier than thou attitude along with the accusation that we're making excuses. Sorry but I don't see that as encouragement. It is arrogance.

As I said before - what about the overweight men - what are their excuses? and if we were making excuses and just settling for the body we ended up with after having babies, stretch marks and all, would we be in here on MFP? I don't think so.

BabyBlue and Coconut, if I had said, "BabyBlue and Coconut, stop using the fact that you have had a baby and can not lose the weight as an excuse to be overweight" But, I never mentioned either one of your names or directed anything to you. And, I have had several women post on here that they did use that excuse for a while until they decided to change!!

In fact, you two have said more rude things to me than I ever directed towards you! And a "Mightier than thou attitude" Really!!! So, any woman that posts a before picture and after picture, then encourages other women to do what they can do...to not settle for anything less is arrogant??? To not worry about being perfect or having a pre baby body, but to be your best...that is rude and offensive????

And for BabyBlue to call me a bully...really!!! Wow!! Pretty sad in my opinion.

So, to you two ladies, I say enjoy your misery. Make sure to not read other posts about successful weightloss because you might be offended and think the OP is arrogant, a bully, mightier than thou, rude, offensive....hmmmm...did I cover everything that you two called me????

I could care less what an overweight man's excuse is....I am here to help moms. I do not accept male FR and only communicate with other women. And FYI, men can get stretch marks too!!

I would also like to add, that every post that I make on other people's thread is always positive and up lifting. I come on here to have fun, to learn from others, and to spread what I have learned. I feel very sorry for people that enjoy spreading their misery to others!

I despise haters!! :drinker:

People will always be as miserable as they want and spread it wherever they can. Clearly many are inspired by you and those who get offended just don't know how to deal with the tough love approach. To each their own. Personally, I would never survive in the military if I cried every time someone told me to suck it up and not use excuses. Some people just need their entire lives to be sugarcoated. Maybe if once in a while they pushed themselves out of their comfort zone things like their health would be going a lot better.

Thank you for your post, TinkrBelz!

I agree, make sure your hormones are right and yes, babies can change our body!! And, I am not sure if it is having babies that makes it more difficult to lose the weight, or just getting older.

Everyone told me with my first child that my body would never be the same...I had made a mental note that my cute figure was gone. I lost that 50lbs without even trying. I was also 24.

Baby 6, first female child, and 39....the weight DID NOT want to come off. So, here I am overweight, loss of muscle tone, slower metabolism, and wider hips! My hips never spread with my first 5 boys, the girl spread my hips. So, look....I was defeated!! I know and understand what y'all are saying. Why try when I still have stretch marks, loose skin, I can't get the weight off or it is coming off slowly, and my hips are wider. OH, and I am sooooo freaking tired!!! And I felt guilty leaving the family to go to the gym, I should be here for them all of the time....so I did not go to the gym even though my husband worked out daily.

Moms have so much on their plate, it is amazing that we can juggle it all.

So, please know that this message is not to say you will get your pre-baby body back. Some women do, but most of us do not. It changed. BUT, we can get our best post-baby body back and really, most importantly, we can get healthy!!! Our kids need to see mom healthy because we are their role models. It is not an easy journey, especially if you are like me and keep having kids!! LOL! I mean, I lost 50-60lbs 6 times!! That is so exhausting!!

Anyway, keep up the good work. And when you get discouraged, get in touch with one of your MFP friends. That is what this community is about. And do not compare yourself to other women either. We all have different bodies, embrace your body shape and type and fine tune that body!!! :flowerforyou:

I loved your story! I have 3 kids (9,7 &5) and I dont know how you do it with 6! You look amazing! I was lucky with my first 2 (boys). What I gained I lost. I stayed active, utilized my jogging stroller and was right back into my regular clothes within a few months of them being born. With my 3rd (daughter) I had a harder time. I also found it hard to fit in exercise with 3 little ones and work. I wasn't much heavier than after the boys, but still, a size bigger is a size bigger. Then I had some medical problems and the med's I was on just caused me to gain weight fast. The doctor said it was what I was eating but I knew it wasn't. I tried everything and it wouldn't budge! So, long story short, went off the med's, picked up 30DS, started logging everything religiously on MFP and today I am 32 pounds lighter and fit back into a size 10 pants (from a size 16!)
I am a happy and healthy mom and happy/healthy mom = happy kids!!

I think your post is AWESOME and should be inspiring to any woman who has had kids and feels that she can't get that pre baby body back!

Cheers to the OP.

It's ALL about doing what we never thought we could.

No kids is a better option

Totally agree! And that's one reason (among others) why I am not having kids :P

I've been an intensive care nurse for 15 years, and I've had the opportunity to witness many peoples' lives coming to a close. I've seen them surrounded by their children and their grandchildren, and I've seen them all alone. I listen to them late at night when they can't sleep, and they are reflecting back over their lives. I've heard so many of them say "I wish I would have had more children", but I've never heard a single one say "I wish I hadn't had children/hadn't had so many children."
And none of them care in the least what their tummies look like or used to look like.
When my body is gone--and it WILL happen--what will be left of my life?
To each their own. Children aren't for everyone. For me, being surrounded by love and being hugged, kissed, and told "I love you" every single day by at least 7 people is the better option.

I delivered twins at 45 and weighed over 215 after delivery. I've lost 60 lbs. and maintained my weight loss for 2 years and am currently working on losing another 13 lbs. Genetics will always play a part in how your body recovers, but there is no reason not to be your best and be in the best shape possible.

I think your story is amazing and want to congratulate you on an incredible journey! You look fantastic! I will be 44 this year and have never said I couldn't get back In shape because I have had kids. My boys are 17, 15 and 4 and i truly feel that i got healthier and fitter after each baby! If you don't want it bad enough you will never reach your goals. I hear the same story time and time again and it is hard to feel sorry for people that continually play the victim. I empathize but also know that if you really want something bad enough....you can get it.

No kids is a better option

Totally agree! And that's one reason (among others) why I am not having kids :P

I've been an intensive care nurse for 15 years, and I've had the opportunity to witness many peoples' lives coming to a close. I've seen them surrounded by their children and their grandchildren, and I've seen them all alone. I listen to them late at night when they can't sleep, and they are reflecting back over their lives. I've heard so many of them say "I wish I would have had more children", but I've never heard a single one say "I wish I hadn't had children/hadn't had so many children."
And none of them care in the least what their tummies look like or used to look like.
When my body is gone--and it WILL happen--what will be left of my life?
To each their own. Children aren't for everyone. For me, being surrounded by love and being hugged, kissed, and told "I love you" every single day by at least 7 people is the better option.

^^ LOVE THIS!!

I said my entire life I DO NOT WANT KIDS EVER. Then last year, after 9 years of marriage, Oops, I ended up pregnant at 36 and a mommy at 37! No one can explain how amazing it is. People tried telling me all the time, but I didn't listen or care. Now I am the happiest I've ever been ...our little unexpected ONE HIT WONDER miracle has totally completed me!!

I never thought I could have children and had my precious baby boy at age 45. I didn't know what I was missing and how much I could love someone! I gained 60lbs, three years later I'm back in shape and 5lbs lighter than I was. If you want it bad enough there is NO EXCUSE. I get up at 4:00am to workout because I work full time and want the evenings with my husband and son. I'm also a runner so I run at during my lunch time 2xweek. If you want it bad enough, make a plan, set a schedule and stick to it. It can be done.

Amen, sister! Congrats xoxo

I'm about to deliver in 8 days and so excited to start losing weight! Of course I am having a C-section so I'm going to have to wait awhile, but oh well!