ladies is he being a jerk or gentleman???
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I don't know how you would confuse that with gentlemanly. That may be the most insulting thing I've ever read on the internet.
-wtk
Ditto.0 -
I really don't like the idea of being an "upgrade." I'm not a car or an object to be compared to. I am myself and we are together because we have a good relationship. Never in my life would I be happy to be told that I need to look my best to show up an ex. When I do dress up, it's for ME, so I feel good about myself, not because my entire worth depends on looking better than another girl.
Good grief, so you guys are harping on the stinking "upgrade" get over it. It's a WORD.
What? The idea that he likes you better than anyone he's been with before? OMG what an arsehole!0 -
Obviously a man is never right, and it would be better for everyone if we'd just shut up and go fishing.
LMAO!! For some people this is true.0 -
I vote jerk! Obviously there are still some sort of unresolved feelings for this ex, or you...I mean, he....wouldn't care about what his ex thinks about his new girlfriend. Maybe you...I mean, uh, he....should quit focusing on getting vengance on his ex by showing off the new girl and start focusing on the relationship he's currently in. JERK!0
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I don't know how you would confuse that with gentlemanly. That may be the most insulting thing I've ever read on the internet.
-wtk
:flowerforyou:0 -
I'll take the guys side on this one, this is a heads up, look if you run into the ex and you are introduced for some reason, YOU want to look your best. Hasn't anyone been there before? I sure have, was out running errands in a t-shirt and some jeans and ran into my guys ex at the store and she was just getting off work and was in a suit and heels. I felt like crap afterwards because she didn't get an opportunity to see his upgrade. Because I was caught off guard I didn't have my best foot forward and you only get one chance to make the first impression. Call me whatever you want but I'd like the opportunity to knock it home and show her that he's got quite a catch. If you go and aren't looking your best and he didn't tell you that you might run into her, what's going to be the first thing out of your mouth? "Why didn't you tell me she was going to be there!" Your going to follow that up with knocking him upside the head and then mumbling to yourself for days about how you wished you;d have been wearing this or that, or that you'd fixed your hair or touched up your makeup.
When you dress up it is for you.....no it's not.
When people dress it is to make a statement to other people.0 -
Nope, I would take it as a heads-up and make sure that I dressed so that he could be proud to have me on his arm and show her that he's not a loser. Afterall, if he's a loser why would I want to be with him, right? I would make my man proud! ;-)0
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I would probably be pretty pissed that he cares enough that he wants to impress her.. but at the same time, damn straight I going to look my best now knowing.
I think if he changed the way he said it and maybe said " hey, just want to warn you that my ex gf will be there"... I don't think there was a need to ask your current gf to "look her best"0 -
It would be rude for him to tell her to look nice, because not only does that imply that she doesn't normally look presentable enough, but might might also indicate that he is trying to impress the ex by using the current girlfriend.
Much better solution would be to say "just a heads up, ______ might be there," just so she isn't caught off guard seeing her.
I agree completely with this. A heads up is all that's needed, anything else is just rude0 -
That's ballzy. And insulting. If you've been dating this lady for a year and you have to ask her to look her best to one up your ex-girlfriend, you have serious mental issues and you shouldn't be putting all this stress on the person you should love. Sounds like your still in love with your ex and you should re-evaluate your situation with your present girlfriend. Or she should kick you in the balls, one of the two!0
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I would say it could be reworded...the way it's written here is a lil rude like "i don't think you hold a candle to her under normal circumstances so get dolled up." I'm sure there's a way to put it that wouldn't be so "my ex is hotter than you so get dressed up." Even better- buy her a new dress to get all dressed up in!0
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I don't think he is being a jerk. It is just natural to want to shove your good looking significant other in your ex's face. I would appreciate the heads up if my bf said this to me and dress to the nines.0
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I'll take the guys side on this one, this is a heads up, look if you run into the ex and you are introduced for some reason, YOU want to look your best. Hasn't anyone been there before? I sure have, was out running errands in a t-shirt and some jeans and ran into my guys ex at the store and she was just getting off work and was in a suit and heels. I felt like crap afterwards because she didn't get an opportunity to see his upgrade. Because I was caught off guard I didn't have my best foot forward and you only get one chance to make the first impression. Call me whatever you want but I'd like the opportunity to knock it home and show her that he's got quite a catch. If you go and aren't looking your best and he didn't tell you that you might run into her, what's going to be the first thing out of your mouth? "Why didn't you tell me she was going to be there!" Your going to follow that up with knocking him upside the head and then mumbling to yourself for days about how you wished you;d have been wearing this or that, or that you'd fixed your hair or touched up your makeup.
When you dress up it is for you.....no it's not.
When people dress it is to make a statement to other people.
Wait...think about this. Why do you feel nicer when you get dressed up? Why do you feel nicer wearing things that only other people see?0 -
Obviously a man is never right, and it would be better for everyone if we'd just shut up and go fishing.
heh.0 -
I think he deserves a thank you for the warning. Sure, he could have worded it better, but his intention was good.0
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I would feel he was being a jerk and said male would get told to *kitten* off....if that were me.0
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He would not be my boyfriend anymore if he was so concerned about what his ex thought about ANYTHING.0
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Jerk.0
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"I need you to look your best" is an insult. It's all about you.
"I better warn you that my ex" [facial expression of slight disgust] "will probably be there. She always goes. Dressed to the nines." [Roll the eyes.] is a warning, and very welcome.
^^^THIS0 -
Jerk! Definitely jerk!0
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