is it "disrespectful" to not have kids?

clydethecat
clydethecat Posts: 1,087 Member
edited December 18 in Chit-Chat
on another website forum, i just got b****ed out for not wanting to have kids. i was really taken aback and i gave my reasons. what i got back was three different people saying i'm horrible for not wanting kids and its very disrespectful to not have kids. they really got mean.

i dont think i'm "disrespectful" or horrible. my reasons for not wanting kids are well thought out. i dont think anyone should have kids unless they want to. i used to be in child care and i love kids. i think other peoples kids are great. i just know i'm not going to be a good mom and i shouldnt be made to feel bad about that.

maybe i'm just being sensitive.
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Replies

  • Alliwan
    Alliwan Posts: 1,245 Member
    I cant imagne anyone being mad at you for not wanting kids. They're probably the same people who would be mad at you if you had kids and then said you didnt like them.

    doesnt matter what your reasons are, if you dont want kids, dont have them. Kids arent for everyone, and its really OK not to have them if you dont want to. There are lots of people who are happy, well adjusted, kind, considerate, giving, and dont have kids.


    Sheesh....
  • liog
    liog Posts: 347 Member
    What reasoning do they give for their belief that it is disrespectful not to have kids and who is being disrespected?

    It's a choice and a perfectly fine one.
  • Natx83
    Natx83 Posts: 1,298 Member
    How the hell is that disresepectful to anyone... Just because they have nothing better to do then fluff over their children doesnt mean that you have to!

    Your choice to not have kids is much as legitimate as their choice TO have kids.
  • TriciaZ944
    TriciaZ944 Posts: 317 Member
    No you have a right to not want kids. Its your life to live who are they to say what you should want for your life.
  • chachadiva150
    chachadiva150 Posts: 453 Member
    You've made your decision. What's the problem?
  • Cindio
    Cindio Posts: 74 Member
    Not at all!! It's a personal choice. I'm sure if I didn't have my kids when I did, I might have thought twice about it lol ;) I have lots of friends that do NOT want kids and that is fine. Not wanting kids does not make you a bad person! It's just hard for some people to wrap their heads around, especially if they want or have kids. :)
  • RangerSteve
    RangerSteve Posts: 437
    Ah, kids. The biggest contribution to landfill waste, co2 emissions, increased food prices and over population. But yes, obviously you're disrespectful for not wanting to contribute to that. This is what happens when people have it beaten into their brains from the age of 3 that they MUST have kids. Social engineering at its finest.
  • mslack01
    mslack01 Posts: 823 Member
    on another website forum, i just got b****ed out for not wanting to have kids. i was really taken aback and i gave my reasons. what i got back was three different people saying i'm horrible for not wanting kids and its very disrespectful to not have kids. they really got mean.

    i dont think i'm "disrespectful" or horrible. my reasons for not wanting kids are well thought out. i dont think anyone should have kids unless they want to. i used to be in child care and i love kids. i think other peoples kids are great. i just know i'm not going to be a good mom and i shouldnt be made to feel bad about that.

    maybe i'm just being sensitive.

    absolutely not! those people are freaking idiots!!! I'm sorry...but not everyone HAS to have kids. my best friend never had kids and never wanted to have kids and i think she was so smart for realizing it wasn't for her and not bringing a kid in to the world that wasn't wanted. i think i love you even more because you know yourself well enough to know what you want.
  • ValerieMartini2Olives
    ValerieMartini2Olives Posts: 3,024 Member
    I don't want kids.
    You should hear some of the stuff people say to me. It's really obnoxious. And some people look at you like you're a complete freak. I just don't want to have any. Ever.
  • dmpizza
    dmpizza Posts: 3,321 Member
    I literally can't imagine what it would be like to not want kids, but..............................

    If you don't want them...........

    DON'T HAVE THEM.

    Its your business, just don't change your mind after its too late.
  • McKayMachina
    McKayMachina Posts: 2,670 Member
    No way, dude. It's awesome. You rock! :)

    Kidless 4 lyfe! haha
  • servilia
    servilia Posts: 3,452 Member
    Of course it's not disrespectful to not want kids. That's ridiculous. However some people who feel this way give reasons that insult those who do want kids. One example is a woman who told me she doesn't want kids because it's selfish to have kids. Now that I had a problem with - not a problem with her not wanting kids, but a problem with the fact that she judges others who do want kids by saying they're selfish. I'm sure you didn't insult anyone but just giving an example.
  • BrettPGH
    BrettPGH Posts: 4,716 Member
    Out of curiousity what was the site?
  • thelovelyLIZ
    thelovelyLIZ Posts: 1,227 Member
    How is it disrespectful to not have kids? To who? Who are you disrespecting?

    It's much more disrespectful to ***** at someone for their life choices. I'll probably have kids some day because I like them, but that doesn't make me a better person than someone without children.
  • elenathegreat
    elenathegreat Posts: 3,988 Member
    It is more responsible to choose not to have kids than to have them and then not want to or be able to care for them. It is everyone's right to choose. BTW I have 2 children, thought about the choice very seriously.
  • clydethecat
    clydethecat Posts: 1,087 Member
    thanks guys .. i think i'm jsut being sensitive. they did not give a reason as to why its disrespectful, just sent a lot of messages with a lot of hate. i try to handle that stuff, but sometimes it just gets to me.

    the site is for mental health issues, you would think everyone on there would be nice and helpful. at least i have you guys, i swear, this site is so much better than some of the sites i've been a part of.

    thank you :)
  • ValerieMartini2Olives
    ValerieMartini2Olives Posts: 3,024 Member
    Its your business, just don't change your mind after its too late.

    That's one of the things that people say to me regularly when I say I don't want kids.
    I knew when I was like 5 years old that I didn't want to be a parent. I will be 28 in a few weeks... so for 23 years I have felt this way! I don't think I will ever change my mind.
  • Anyaaaa11
    Anyaaaa11 Posts: 242 Member
    That's ABSURD! I don't know why someone would actually go and say that.
    It's a personal choice to not have children and that does not make them selfish or mean!
    People have different reasons as to why they don't want kids! It's not fair for them to sit and point
    a finger at you and accuse you of being a bad person for that! Some people dont have kids for a good reason. Maybe they know they are not fit to be a parent..Personally, I don't know if I want kids either but that's just because I've spent my whole life raising my siblings as if they were my kids.

    Saying a person is disrespectful for not wanting kids... WOW
    There is no correlation between being selfish and not wanting children. People need to keep their opinions to themselves.
    Besides, saying your distepectful isn't going to make you wanna kid, so that was unneeded
  • bbygrl5
    bbygrl5 Posts: 964 Member
    Disrepectful how? and to who?

    I can't say it'll last forever, but up to this point in my life I haven't wanted kids either. Yay for us reducing carbon footprints. :wink:
  • Sapporo
    Sapporo Posts: 693 Member
    That makes no sense. Who are you disrespecting? Your parents for not making them grandparents? Yeah, they are strange people. I would just ask them to explain that, bet it is totally irrational.
  • clydethecat
    clydethecat Posts: 1,087 Member
    Out of curiousity what was the site?

    daily strength.com .. i go to their bipolar support group. after this i'm going to stop going there. they werent that helpful.
  • BeautyFromPain
    BeautyFromPain Posts: 4,952 Member
    No it is not! And I would much rather you didn't have kids rather than to have them and then regret the decision for the rest of your life.
  • sma83
    sma83 Posts: 479 Member
    You have every right to NOT want to have children. That is just as personal a decision as the people who CHOSE to have kids. What would be wrong is to go ahead and have kids when you are well aware that you are not "mom" material. They were the ones beind disrespectful! Dont listen to them!
  • chefkev
    chefkev Posts: 155 Member
    41,no kids, got myself fixed years ago.

    I love kids too much to be a dad!

    Oh yeah, I have an Elementary Ed degree too, so I really do love kids.
  • michellelhartwig
    michellelhartwig Posts: 486 Member
    You have made a decision that is yours alone to make! Kudos for sticking up for yourself and your beliefs!

    I have two kids...I love them dearly-most of the time...But if you ever change your mind-you can babysit my kids!!! lol :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • knittnponder
    knittnponder Posts: 1,953 Member
    I think it's disrespectful to B**** someone out for whatever their choices are about having or not having children. It's none of their business and you owe them no explanations. I have four kids who I love dearly but I don't think procreating is a requirement to being a fulfilled human being! I know several people who've chosen not to have kids and they seem to be quite happy with their decision!
  • Plan2Be
    Plan2Be Posts: 12 Member
    Depends on the website I guess ;)

    Your choice to want kids or not, is your own, hopefully.

    Being criticised one way or the other .... oh help me now, are we back in kindergarten ?

    Hopefully, you can move on from their opinion / criticism / whatevers.

    As to whether it's disrespectful or not, I have no idea ... disrespectful ... to what ?
  • nikki_marie05
    nikki_marie05 Posts: 88 Member
    Not at all!

    The only thing that gets me is when someone who doesn't have kids try and tell me how to parent my child, that's when it gets disrespectful.

    As for not wanting children of your own, it's your life, you have the right to do with it what you please.
  • hailzp
    hailzp Posts: 903 Member
    People get freaked out when others don't follow social norms. They are often closed minded and conservative. (Which seem to go hand in hand :P lol). Don't worry about it, it scares them because they can't see themselves diverting from the norm. Good for you to stick to your guns, kids are not everyone's cup of tea and nor should they be.
  • Cindy311
    Cindy311 Posts: 780 Member
    Apparently people have gone kid crazy and expect that everyone in the world wants one or must have one, which is simply not true! I think it's totally respectable that you have decided that kids are not for you :)
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