is it "disrespectful" to not have kids?

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Replies

  • NewTeena
    NewTeena Posts: 154 Member
    If you don't want to have kids then don't have them. There are already too many people that didn't want to have kids that had them.
  • jillyt85
    jillyt85 Posts: 161 Member
    That's ridiculous! You made a very responsible decision for yourself. If a person truly doesn't want a kid and don't think they'd be a good parent, it would be cruel to the child if they were guilted into having a baby. A lot of people should really consider what it means to have a baby and what it means to be a parent and then decide if they really want to make that commitment. There are too many idiots out there having babies. Not saying you're an idiot. This didn't come out at all how I meant it. I applaud you for knowing yourself and making the right decision for you.
  • Alexstrasza
    Alexstrasza Posts: 619 Member
    Don't listen to them. People have a pretty screwed up idea of what you're supposed to do with your life.


    I have two kids. I find it very respectful when people choose not to have kids for very valid reasons. If you don't want them, why have them?
  • Nikiki
    Nikiki Posts: 993
    Don't listen to her, there is NOTHING disrespectful about choosing not to have kids!!! I too don't want to have children I have nieces and nephews and a god daughter, I feel no driving need I have any of my own ad not having them puts me in a better position to help my friends and family with kids.
    Good for you for making a decision now and sticking to that decision that will prevent you from a future that wouldnt have made you happy. You are in charge of your body and your future you don't need to let anyone make you feel bad or defensive about a choice that effects YOU and not her.

    Honestly it's pretty rediculous that she would even use those words, who the heck are you disrespecting??? Certainly not yourself and thats the only person effected by this choice!
  • saragato
    saragato Posts: 1,154
    I can't even think of in what situation, real or not, it would be considered disrespectful to not want to have kids. It's your body, your life, your choice and if you don't want them there's no law saying you have to have them. Personally I don't want kids either but that's more because I have a horrible disorder that I would pass on and I don't want them going through what I am.

    I did have a 23 year old woman tell a then 19 year old me that having kids was the only way to become an adult. Or rather, as she put it, "get f*cked, then have you a mess of kids." That's a mindset I find just as baffling.
  • 2hungariangirls
    2hungariangirls Posts: 220
    You (meaning anyone) SHOULDN'T have kids if you don't WANT them. I had 2 and then we elected to have permanent birth control because we only wanted 2. So who would we be disrespecting for deciding to not have any more? Not meaning the OP, per se, just throwing a question out there. I would have never thought or used the word disrespectful. Weird.
  • UpEarly
    UpEarly Posts: 2,555 Member
    I don't want children... I never have, and I'm 99.9999% certain I never will.

    A number of people have told me I'll regret it. Other people simply don't understand my choice. Some people have called it selfish. But, I've never heard disrespectful before. How is it disrespectful?
  • Alliwan
    Alliwan Posts: 1,245 Member
    Its your business, just don't change your mind after its too late.

    That's one of the things that people say to me regularly when I say I don't want kids.
    I knew when I was like 5 years old that I didn't want to be a parent. I will be 28 in a few weeks... so for 23 years I have felt this way! I don't think I will ever change my mind.

    and even if you did, you can adopt kids well into your 60's if you changed your mind then. So what's it their business anyway?

    I dont get people sometimes.
  • Nikiki
    Nikiki Posts: 993
    That's ridiculous! You made a very responsible decision for yourself. If a person truly doesn't want a kid and don't think they'd be a good parent, it would be cruel to the child if they were guilted into having a baby. A lot of people should really consider what it means to have a baby and what it means to be a parent and then decide if they really want to make that commitment. There are too many idiots out there having babies. Not saying you're an idiot. This didn't come out at all how I meant it. I applaud you for knowing yourself and making the right decision for you.

    ^^^^^ this!
  • juliexiuu
    juliexiuu Posts: 118
    I think I would adopt before having kids of my own.
    The world's too overpopulated as it is and there are a ton of children out there with no parents.

    I'm still young though... lol
  • 2hungariangirls
    2hungariangirls Posts: 220
    41,no kids, got myself fixed years ago.

    I love kids too much to be a dad!

    Oh yeah, I have an Elementary Ed degree too, so I really do love kids.


    Scary thought for ya....we have a friend that has 6 kids. Yes, they wanted each and every one. He decided after #6 he'd get fixed 2 years ago. Got a call Monday...#7 is on the way! He went back to be checked after the surgery and everything was fine!

    Makes me nervous. Husband did that almost 2 years ago as well. Everything was fine then....
  • jillyt85
    jillyt85 Posts: 161 Member
    People get freaked out when others don't follow social norms. They are often closed minded and conservative. (Which seem to go hand in hand :P lol). Don't worry about it, it scares them because they can't see themselves diverting from the norm. Good for you to stick to your guns, kids are not everyone's cup of tea and nor should they be.

    I just have to say, I am very conservative, but find the opposite to be true about close minded people. Most liberals I talk to are extremely close minded. You can see from my previous response that I think the OP is very intelligent for making a decision that's right for them. People sound cloud close minded when they make fun of another party before knowing enough information.
  • jcm529
    jcm529 Posts: 36
    I'm childless by choice. Feel free to add me. It is nice to find other people who feel the same way and get treated the same way. I totally get it.
  • LikeNoOneElse84
    LikeNoOneElse84 Posts: 475 Member
    I think those same people who are upset with you for not wanting kids, are the same people who wish they didn't have kids. Who the hell gets upset with someone because they would rather not have the responsibility of children? Haters, that's who. Lol.
  • CoderGal
    CoderGal Posts: 6,800 Member
    Ill cuddle a snake lizard croc dog cat and mouse...but stay as far away as possible from children. I get told Im horrible for not wanting kids all the time and that you cant trust people who dont want kids...the same people will jump away from my snake in disgust. Pretty hypocritical if you ask me
  • amymrls
    amymrls Posts: 1,673 Member
    Probably if you don't want to have kids you shouldn't. You are right not to have them if you dont think you are going to be a good parent. Good for you! Better for you to decide not to have them before you do then after.... Like some people. Best of luck to you. Be proud of who you are.
  • Amy_B
    Amy_B Posts: 2,317 Member
    I respect anyone's decision, whether it's to have kids or not. I don't think people should just disrespect the other side (or their own side). Try not to let it affect you. Some people are just rude and insensitive.
  • Erica0718
    Erica0718 Posts: 469 Member
    Not disrespectful to not have kids, I dont want kids either. Seems like those people may be secretly regreting their decision to have children and want you to have them so you can be as miserable as they are. Kids are not for everyone, it is your own personal decision and nothing says you have to. :glasses:
  • LaurenAOK
    LaurenAOK Posts: 2,475 Member
    That's crazy! I think it would be much, much worse for you to have kids if you didn't want them! That's how this world has ended up with so many kids who don't come from loving homes. Some people don't want kids but have them anyway because of society's expectations or whatever, and then the kids have to suffer their whole lives for it. It's really upsetting.

    Not saying you wouldn't love your kids, OP. Just saying I think it's really smart of you to recognize that kids aren't for you and therefore refrain from having them.
  • cindy4mica
    cindy4mica Posts: 777 Member
    Um, when did it become anyone's sole responsibility to populate the planet? And since when did anyone have control over whether you do/don't procreate? What asshats. Wait, was one of them a Duggar, because that would explain everything.
  • PghCLTGal
    PghCLTGal Posts: 10
    Ignore them. Who cares about someone's choice to procreate or not, anyway?? WEIRD!!

    People really need to mind their own beeswax!!!!
  • melbaby925
    melbaby925 Posts: 613
    I was told that I was a selfish b**ch for not wanting to have kids. I never really made a hard decision one way or another, I figured if it happened, it happened. It never has. Not a big deal. I spoil my friends' kids and if I want to spend time with them, I do. It's not something I miss, or regret not doing.

    But calling me selfish or you disrespectful? Completely inappropriate. It's your body and your life and no one has the right to bash on you for your choices.
  • mommared53
    mommared53 Posts: 9,543 Member
    I think it's disrespectful to try to make someone feel bad because they don't want to have kids. It's your personal choice if you want to have kids or not. Personally, I can't imagine my life without my kids but I'm certainly not going to look down on someone else because they can't see their lives with kids for whatever reason. It certainly doesn't make you any less of a woman because you don't want to have kids. Those people who have issues with your choice just aren't worth your time. :flowerforyou:
  • ShawnaCurley
    ShawnaCurley Posts: 82 Member
    I think it's your choice! I used to get questioned why I only wanted to have one child....again, my choice! Like I wasn't gonna be fulfilled without having a house full of kids!
    Don't let people's rudness, stupidity or whatever you call it get you down!
    Your choice and your entitled to it! :flowerforyou:
  • dancingdeer
    dancingdeer Posts: 373 Member
    I don't have kids, and never wanted them. No one in my family has ever asked me why, or even brought the subject up. But, my sister-in-law asked me last year as soon as we were alone. I was frankly shocked and thought it was none of her business, and basically told her so. My body, my life, my choice, my happiness.
  • meshashesha2012
    meshashesha2012 Posts: 8,329 Member
    sounds like they got upset more about your reasons rather than whether or not you have kids. most people could care less where you plant your seeds, but if it comes across as you disrespecting them and their decisions.

    for instance if i say i dont want to have kids and the people who do so are doing it because they are conforming to societal expectations, that's insulting.
  • karenwill2
    karenwill2 Posts: 604 Member
    I have 2 kids and I totally don't blame you for not wanting them. I love my babies but I never wanted to have kids. The first was a wonderful surprise and I would never wish it away. However, I do daydream and try to remember life before them. Life ios easier without them for sure.
  • Elyssa_38
    Elyssa_38 Posts: 36 Member
    Everyone has their opinions and make their own decisions. Its not disrespectful at all. People are just weird. Just rub it off.
  • TinaS88
    TinaS88 Posts: 817 Member
    Really?? What's scary is those people being so rude HAVE kids!! It's your life and your body, do with it what you please!!

    I don't want kids and I have one!! LoL.. I mean, of course I love my son more than anything in the world am am blessed to have him, and he is my WORLD! ........BUT :P if I were a little more careful, I wouldn't have any myself!

    Who cares what other people think. They are probably just extremely jealous of your complete freedom to probably do whatever you choose, when you choose.
  • ArtGeek22
    ArtGeek22 Posts: 1,429 Member
    That's ABSURD! I don't know why someone would actually go and say that.
    It's a personal choice to not have children and that does not make them selfish or mean!
    People have different reasons as to why they don't want kids! It's not fair for them to sit and point
    a finger at you and accuse you of being a bad person for that! Some people dont have kids for a good reason. Maybe they know they are not fit to be a parent..Personally, I don't know if I want kids either but that's just because I've spent my whole life raising my siblings as if they were my kids.

    Saying a person is disrespectful for not wanting kids... WOW
    There is no correlation between being selfish and not wanting children. People need to keep their opinions to themselves.
    Besides, saying your distepectful isn't going to make you wanna kid, so that was unneeded

    ^^^ THIS!!!
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