is it "disrespectful" to not have kids?

If you don't want kids that is your decision and anyone else should keep their negative thoughts to themselves. Better to decide now that you don't want kids than to have them and regret them for the rest of your life! I know plenty of people who don't have kids and they are perfectly happy with that decision.

Personally, I do want kids and since my boyfriend and I are talking about getting married we have also discussed having kids. You should tell those people to mind their own business!! How rude are they!

Sending you love and support as you deal with these *kitten*&*^es.

I don't want kids either. I LOVE my nieces! All my friends kids are great, I love playing and reading stories and teaching little kids why it's not nice to hit people or fight. I'm sure I would be a fine parent, but I've never been into the whole "baby" thing. Also, the genetics in my family are SO messed up that it would in fact be irresponsible toward the human race for me to reproduce. I made a pact with one of my sisters (the one who isn't the mom of the nieces) that we wouldn't have kids when I was 14. Kids are great for everyone else, but they aren't my thing. I've never had anyone b**** me out about it, but they all get these dumb *knowing* looks on their faces and tell me I'll change my mind later in life--well...I'm 30 so when do the silly comments about that end--when I hit menopause? Besides, I always figured that if my husband and I got that bug, we could adopt (plenty of kids who need homes in the world, god knows!). But I don't know that it's disrespectful. On the other side of the coin, if this is a bi-polar forum, then you have to know that extreme reactions are a possibility (I mean no disrespect to people with bi-polar, but my mother and several on my aunts have it--sometimes poorly managed--so I know how it *can* be). :huh:

Also, maybe they are upset because they never considered the option and the secretly weren't on the parenting wagon either...? I really can't think of a good reason for this to be disrespectful. How DARE you disrespect the circle of life?!

They'll be laughing all the way to the well-funded old-folks homes, while we either get reverse mortgages, have some old age bucks put away or go to state funded facilities, so really we should be pitied if anything.

BTW, while we were dating, I would periodically check in with my now husband, "I still don't want kids. How are you feeling about that?" Just to reenforce the fact that I hadn't changed my mind for him. I was like, "it's cool if you do, it's just that you won't be getting kids, if you stay with me. If you want that, I'd be sad, but we would need to break up so you could find someone who does." And he was always okay with it. So...you know...we'll have some awesome fur babies (bunnies, dogs...etc.).

Please grow a pair - if you don't want children that is ok and by definition is the best thing for you. Outsiders with opinions on what you should or should not do will NOT be there when the kid needs nuturing, food, clothes, medical, college, etc. YOU decide what is OK for you.

no. it is disrespectful to yourself to have them if you don't want to. and it's disrespectful to the kids that weren't wanted that were forced to have been born. everyone is not meant to have kids. but i know some people have a hard time with that. also, some people are meant to just have 1 kid... some people get all up in arms if there is an only child. but some parents only want one kid and it's not a horrible thing.

No. It's disrespectful to not want kids but then have them anyway.

I have heard similar things. Probably the worst instance was a woman (who had her first child in early teenage years then had 3 more {the oldest of which also became pregnant when she was 14} and had mostly struggled to survive on welfare; who said to me that I should breed because I was white!
Another instance was when a neighbour came to check me out when I first moved here and she asked me about my children and when I said I didn't have any and wouldn't, she said something like "oh you must be a hair dresser or run a brothel" pffffft!

I wish more people would choose not too. Some people weren't meant to spawn. Not saying you, but I'm sure you've seen the type of parents I am talking about. No one should ever be made to feel badly for such an extremely personal decision.

It'll take a few generations for people to wrap their heads around the concept of NOT having kids, because it's definitely going to become more and more common. Disrespectful, though? That's pretty odd.

Exactly who are you disrespecting by choosing not to have kids that you don't want? NO ONE. If you don't want them, don't have them and don't let anybody make you feel bad about your decision. There are too many kids in this world who have been abused because their parents didn't want them. There are even more who the taxpayers are taking care of because their "parents" can't. The jails are filled with people whose parents were not ready, willing or able to parent. You disrespectful, no. The people who told you that are the disrespectful ones. Don't worry about what other people think. Some people are so miserable in their own lives, the only way they can feel better is to make other people miserable.

Its your business, just don't change your mind after its too late.

That's one of the things that people say to me regularly when I say I don't want kids.
I knew when I was like 5 years old that I didn't want to be a parent. I will be 28 in a few weeks... so for 23 years I have felt this way! I don't think I will ever change my mind.

To go with the majority here- I see no way that not wanting to replicate yourself is disrespectful. Maybe if you said it in a way that attributed the reason for not wanting kids to your parents for some of the things they did during your childhood, but even that argument has some merit. I mean, if it's how you feel, who is it disrespectful towards? I would argue that people who have kids and don't really want or take care of them appropriately them would theoretically do much more harm than any other related situation.

As far as not wanting kids, I didn't. For the longest time. Didn't have a good childhood myself, didn't want to squander my hard earned money and time off tethered to a child, just didn't really bond with them on my own and didn't feel that desire within me.
But, as irritable as it is when people warn you not to change your mind when it's too late-- I did. I mean, it's not too late, but now it's something I really want in my life. A lot of my perspectives and values changed after a certain point, and it's something I changed my mind about.
But that doesn't mean everyone will, and it doesn't mean everyone should want kids.

Do what you want, and if they dont have the decency to at least respect your decision, they're not worth knowing anyway.
What argument, may I ask, did they make for characterizing such a decision as "disrespectful"? I can't even understand that choice of words.

Opinions are like elbows....pretty much everyone has one and they aren't going to agree with everyone elses. That is just what they are OPINIONS. Do you know those people? Are they friends of your's? If not consider the source and move on. No one else has to live your life OR live with your choices so if you can put your head on the pillow at night knowing what's right for you then that's all that matters. Judgemental people are a dime a dozen....it's the one's who don't judge that are the rare kind.

it's a personal choice.
my mom says that we are supposed to have children and that it's god's will.
it's disrespectful to have a child and not care for it. goodness knows there are already too many unfit parents and not enough loving foster homes.

my child has 4 legs, a tail, and loves me unconditionally forever.

LOLOL I've been seeking God's will for some time now .... since your mom apparently has a direct line, do you think she could give me a call?

HAHA
she is one of THOSE...
you know she would love to give you a call. i love her to death but she is very overbearing, if it's not my way then it's wrong type of person. she loves her bible for sure.
it's a shame that people need to be meddling though and try to make others feel bad.

In my opinion, they are the ones who are disrespectful to you. What makes their lifestyles the end all and be all of everyones existence? I had someone tell me that there must be something wrong with my marriage because we didn't have any kids. They are all jerks. Maybe people can't have children, maybe hey don't want them.... either way it is none of their business.

Totally not disrespectful!!!
I and my fiancée don`t want children either and the fact that some people have
the gall to say ANYTHING about another person`s decision is not just disrespectful
its disgusting. Those people should be embarrassed.

what's disrespectful is those who have litters that others have to put up with