ladies help! my mom and girlfriend dont like each other

If you are serious about this girl, they are going to have to learn to live with each other. I am fortunate in that I get along great with my mother-in-law. She still does things to drive me nuts, but at the end of the day, I have to respect her because she is the hubs mom and my kids' grandmother. Like it or lump it.

Did your gf know she was going to be meeting your mom? If so, she def. should have dressed better. Especially if she works for a fortune 500 co, then she should know how to dress properly. Sometimes people just don't get along, but if she didn't make any effort to impress your mom who is important to you, to me that says she just doesn't really care. Some women are threatened by mother in laws and all that good stuff. Doesn't seem to me from what you said that she cared very much about making a good impression.

They will eventually get along. Just don't get in the middle or make a big deal about it

Did your gf know she was going to be meeting your mom? If so, she def. should have dressed better. Especially if she works for a fortune 500 co, then she should know how to dress properly. Sometimes people just don't get along, but if she didn't make any effort to impress your mom who is important to you, to me that says she just doesn't really care. Some women are threatened by mother in laws and all that good stuff. Doesn't seem to me from what you said that she cared very much about making a good impression.

Agreed! I always try and make a good first impression when meeting a partners parents/close friends. I wouldn't ever consider wearing a short tight skirt for a first meeting..........

Just be natural and put them together when it is possible. Your mom was a bit over the top but so was your GF and they'll either learn to respect one another or not. You really have no control over this situation and leaving either of them is not fair to you. Good luck.

So Im taking my girlfriend to meet my mom for the first time and I notice that her skirt is kinda short and tight. I know my mom will notice this too but after a previous post I did on mfp where I was called a jerk several hundred times I decide not to mention anything to the girlfriend about her attire. At the dinner my mom says to the gf "so what do u do?" The gf says "I'm a project mgr for a fortune 500 co." My mom says " well with a skirt that tight and a Butt that big I bet u could make a fortune in the projects as a Hooker, hahaha " ( my mom like me lacks tact and is kinda getting senile). My gf is extremely offended and when we leave she says "I don't think I'm going to like your mom". My mom text me and says "your gf is a stick in the mud who dresses like a tramp I'm quite sure I'm not going to like her".


How should I go forward? Do I try to get them together again, leave the girlfriend, leave my mom (this is actually not an option) or not really care?

I would be offended too. In your previous post, you obviously didn't listen to the comments. It's not that you told your GF that your ex was going to be there. It's that you told your GF that your ex always looks good, so she should too. Thereby implying that your GF doesn't always look good.

If you though your mom would hate something your GF was wearing and it was the first time they were ever going to meet, you really should have told your GF. You are really the cause of this problem. Why would you put her in that situation?

Tell your mother and your GF both to get over themselves. Remind your mother that her comment was incredibly rude. Remind your GF that your mother is your mother and they are going to have to get along.

Honestly, if you are even considering leaving your GF because your mother was rude to her and she didn't like it, your relationship has some pretty serious issues.

Together, after time, they are both going to make your life hell because of their feelings towards each other. Yucky situation.

I hate my son's girlfriend but he is only 14 and I'm hoping the little tramp just goes away. She has gotten my otherwise kind, caring son in to more trouble in six months than he's ever been in his lifetime.

I am so not looking forward to this!

Wow your mom's a b****.

Sorry for your akward position.

I think you need to have a heart-to-heart with your Mother and ask her to tone it down a bit. Tell her, in the nicest possible way, that you're really into this girl and would like the relationship to run it's course without her intervention. That you appreciate her opinion but outbursts like the one she had the other night will only drive a wedge between you and her ("Mom") and to avoid further controversy see less of her (her again being "Mom").

To the mom: Mom, you really offended gf, while she is fun and funny she just doesn't have your sense of humor and with her figure even conservative clothing is sentuious.

What word is that supposed to be? Sen-too-ee-us?

Being an older lady myself with daughter-in-laws myself I realize I have no say in who my boys get involved with. I also know how your girlfriend feels. When I was younger I was treated with disrespect by my boyfriends mother. I could not change her and did not try. I would remain polite but I would avoid her when ever possible. She finally did get to like me but not till long after we were married. I remember those feelings of hurt to this day so I try to remain neutral with my boys girlfriends and wives. This doesn't sound like it will be possible with your mother though. The best thing you can do if you really like your girlfriend is to support her by giving both their own space. You do need to talk to your mother by yourself and explain to her her comments are offensive and not appreciated. Time may make things easier and they may learn to like each other, after all something drew you to your girlfriend. Maybe your mom just needs to see this for herself. Go easy on both.

They will eventually get along. Just don't get in the middle or make a big deal about it

No, no and no they won't. I honestly believe that one of the biggest problems with in laws is that the son/daughter stay out of issues between their loved ones and things just don't get resolved early. It becomes the two people pitting the son/daughter against each other for whatever reason (love, attention, blah, blah). Many times (not all) if the stance is taken early that you are both important and it's important to me that we all get along many future issues (not all) could be avoided.

depends how much you like the girl. but your mum sounds like a *****. your girlfriend did nothing wrong

So Im taking my girlfriend to meet my mom for the first time and I notice that her skirt is kinda short and tight. I know my mom will notice this too but after a previous post I did on mfp where I was called a jerk several hundred times I decide not to mention anything to the girlfriend about her attire. At the dinner my mom says to the gf "so what do u do?" The gf says "I'm a project mgr for a fortune 500 co." My mom says " well with a skirt that tight and a Butt that big I bet u could make a fortune in the projects as a Hooker, hahaha " ( my mom like me lacks tact and is kinda getting senile). My gf is extremely offended and when we leave she says "I don't think I'm going to like your mom". My mom text me and says "your gf is a stick in the mud who dresses like a tramp I'm quite sure I'm not going to like her".


How should I go forward? Do I try to get them together again, leave the girlfriend, leave my mom (this is actually not an option) or not really care?

On your last post my issue wasn't with you giving your gf a heads up, it was your approach. This time, it's with not giving your gf a heads up. Have a talk with both of them about first impressions:

To the gf: I'm really sorry that my mom offended you, she just has a quirky sense of humor and a more traditional taste in clothing. You're both extremely important to me and it would mean a lot to me if we could give this another, fresh start.

To the mom: Mom, you really offended gf, while she is fun and funny she just doesn't have your sense of humor and with her figure even conservative clothing is sentuious. You're both extremely important to me and it would mean a lot to me if we could give this another, fresh start based on personality not taste in attire.

^^ This exactly. Although, I would also tell Mom, that she offended me too because I care about my GF.

I am probably going to be in the minority but I think I really like your mom. I probably would have said something similar if not worse. And my mother is the same way (at court with my ex-husband, he complimented her on her weight loss and she proceeded to tell him that he was about the fattest she had ever seen him LOL).

In the GFs position, I would NOT have worn something inappropriate. I value my boyfriends opinion - I would have asked what he thought of my outfit and he would have told me to change my clothes.

You can't make people like each other ... so if you think your mom was out of line - tell her... if you think the GF was dressed like a hooker - tell her. Personally, I would probably take your mom's side and dump a girl who dressed like a hooker to meet my mother.