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  • va_va_voom
    va_va_voom Posts: 467 Member
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    I didn't and wouldn't stop. That's silly. I was sooooooooooooooooooooooooo excited to have a designated driver, that my drinking might have increased during that time. LOL.

    I got to drive my hubby's step-grandma home after Thanksgiving dinner last year b/c I was the only one not drinking since I was pregnant. lol

    I was the DD home from my half-brother's wedding when I was prego, my dad took major advantage of the open bar provided by my half-bro's step-dad haha

    That's awesome! Is your family Irish, too? lol
  • tabinmaine
    tabinmaine Posts: 965 Member
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    If my husband was going to be on medication for the next 9 months and he could not drink I would not give up alcohol to be supportive..... if you have to support your spouse there is an issue..... the reason I would not give it up is we rarely drink.... so why bother...

    Sheesh, and this concept to make "healthy sperm" no alcohol....give me a break, 50% of babies are conceived when drunk...the mother and the father.....
  • NashvilleShelley
    NashvilleShelley Posts: 238
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    This seems odd...you talk to him for four hours about something that is going to happen next month. (After four hours I would agree to anything just to end the conversation!) Then before the next month gets here, he thinks about it and tells you he probably can't do that. What is the issue??? It's not like he was sneaking them out in the garage. He was honest and told you it's not happening. Who did you decide is going to change the diapers and feed the baby in the middle of the night? Guess what, you can plan all you want but when the reality gets here NOTHING will go as planned. Just go with the flow and stop looking to control someone else's actions, it's just life - enjoy it.
  • paulsmisses
    paulsmisses Posts: 178
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    My husband didnt stop drinking or smoking in order for me to conceive. although drinking wasnt really a problem, only a 12 pack over weekend because he worked all week. if you or he feels that his drinking is a 'problem' then this has to be dealt with before you conceive as you dont want things to get worse with the stress of a hormonal wife and newborn baby!
  • NicolePatriot
    NicolePatriot Posts: 621 Member
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    Don't have a baby.

    At least, not with him.
  • kelseystew
    kelseystew Posts: 49 Member
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    He shouldn't have said he would stop if he didn't really mean it...sounds like a lack of communication there. NOW, why would you want him to stop drinking as well? is drinking a problem here? I guess it depends on the level of drinking we are talking about. If he has a beer with dinner or with a friend that shouldn't be a big deal BUT...if he is going out to drink on a bender with buddies for the weekend and leaving you all alone...that would be an issue. I understand the not drinking together because of the baby and if that was the agreement and he is not keeping it...that goes a long way to speaking about maturity and if he is ready for the committment to being a dad. So many questions and also not knowing all the circumstances make it hard to give you a clear or concise answer...I'm not judging him or you...just bringing up points.

    This!!! I feel if it is casual drinking, whatever at least one of you can enjoy yourselves!!! As long as he is there when you need him, willing to rub feet/backs, and go for weird craving food runs, then it is cool! If it doesn't affect your relationship then that is okay. But if it is getting wasted every weekend and blackout drunk maybe this chap isn't quite ready for a baby.
  • BAMFMeredith
    BAMFMeredith Posts: 2,829 Member
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    I didn't and wouldn't stop. That's silly. I was sooooooooooooooooooooooooo excited to have a designated driver, that my drinking might have increased during that time. LOL.

    I got to drive my hubby's step-grandma home after Thanksgiving dinner last year b/c I was the only one not drinking since I was pregnant. lol


    I was the DD home from my half-brother's wedding when I was prego, my dad took major advantage of the open bar provided by my half-bro's step-dad haha

    That's awesome! Is your family Irish, too? lol


    Haha, no, but we ARE Catholic! Open bar for weddings, funerals, and kids birthday parties!
  • Ashley_Panda
    Ashley_Panda Posts: 1,404 Member
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    We were both drunk when I got pregnant with our son. :D
  • wolfehound22
    wolfehound22 Posts: 887
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    I think quite a few of you are a little off base her, was it wrong for him to say he would of course, empty promises are never good. My thinking at the time he thought no big deal I can do this, and then once it came around he decided he couldn't do it. Better he be honest with you now, then try and hide it from you later.

    I don't see a reason for him to give it up, unless there is some kind of drinking problem. If hes out getting hammered every night then thats not good, but a few drinks here and there should be fine. I drank during my wifes pregnancy, and she never had an issue. Having a baby can be stressful, and maybe having afew beers will keep his nerves under control, but saying he isn't fit to be a father, or you should wait, is a little misguided, unless there is a serious drinking problem.
  • poncho33
    poncho33 Posts: 1,511
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    I thought the point of getting a girl pregnet was to get a free sober cab for 9 months?
  • 1Timothy4v8
    1Timothy4v8 Posts: 503 Member
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    The other thing is Marriege is about acceptance and forgiveness

    so he said he would then changed his mind? get over it, marriage is a long time you need to learn to let things go, also when you get pregnant you will turn into a raging jerk so maybe it would be good for him to have some way to hick back and unwind
  • Ashley_Panda
    Ashley_Panda Posts: 1,404 Member
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    I thought the point of getting a girl pregnet was to get a free sober cab for 9 months?

    ROFL.
  • va_va_voom
    va_va_voom Posts: 467 Member
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    I didn't and wouldn't stop. That's silly. I was sooooooooooooooooooooooooo excited to have a designated driver, that my drinking might have increased during that time. LOL.

    I got to drive my hubby's step-grandma home after Thanksgiving dinner last year b/c I was the only one not drinking since I was pregnant. lol


    I was the DD home from my half-brother's wedding when I was prego, my dad took major advantage of the open bar provided by my half-bro's step-dad haha

    That's awesome! Is your family Irish, too? lol


    Haha, no, but we ARE Catholic! Open bar for weddings, funerals, and kids birthday parties!

    Open bar is the only way to go!
  • elysianashes
    elysianashes Posts: 100
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    When I got pregnant, my husband asked me if I wanted him to stop drinking too. I told him heck no, there was no reason both of us should suffer, and it might be the last chance he gets to go out with his buddies for the next 18 years :P

    Seriously though, have you never agreed to something and then rethought it later and realized you didn't really want to do it? It happens. If there are bigger underlying issues, THEN be pissed off. Otherwise, this is probably just a matter of him realizing that he agree to give up something bigger than he expected.
  • k8blujay2
    k8blujay2 Posts: 4,941 Member
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    Meh... have a glass of wine... it's good for you and your future progeny.... studies have shown this to be true... :glasses:

    As far as the whole commitment thing is concerned... well... I don't know what to tell you. I don't know if I would be taking his promises and commitments seriously in the future after that. But then, I didn't and wouldn't ask my DH to not drink while I'm pregnant.
  • llahairdna
    llahairdna Posts: 521 Member
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    Ok, it's scientifically proven. ALCOHOL REMAINS IN YOUR BODY FOR 40 days. Even if he stops he still has alcohol in his blood for more than a month. I know it's sad, but it will affect your baby too. He can have problems with health, and serious ones! talk to him, if you guys are serious, you both must be responsible enough to handle that! Good luck <3

    agreed. His drinking could affect baby too during conception.

    If this were true, almost all of my large Catholic family would have birth defects. We're Catholic. We drink, and have lots of babies.

    THIS. Seriously, where is the scientific data showing that alcohol stays in one's system for 40 days??
  • JimandLin
    JimandLin Posts: 76 Member
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    when we are talking about having a baby, and the health of a newborn, I don't think giving up booze is suffering.
  • doorki
    doorki Posts: 2,611 Member
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    when we are talking about having a baby, and the health of a newborn, I don't think giving up booze is suffering.

    How does the husband's casual drinking have an effect on the health of a newborn?
  • JimandLin
    JimandLin Posts: 76 Member
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    You can't take care of a newborn when you are drunk. Let's be responsible here.
  • doorki
    doorki Posts: 2,611 Member
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    You can't take care of a newborn when you are drunk. Let's be responsible here.


    Let's not jump to conclusions. Someone casually drinking does not automatically mean the child will not be taken care of lol.

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